The Illusionists
Page 21
If you can’t do this … he dies.
Her pulse skipped manically.
WAKE UP. I WANT TO WAKE UP NOW.
She opened her eyes.
Light. Bed, underneath. Good. Still curled up.
Rustling from the floor. She sat up carefully and looked over the side, her heart hammering.
White was bent over on all fours, his head hanging down. Hair loose, draped and pooled on the carpet, hiding his face.
Rue slid off the bed, crouching in front of him. She meant to touch him, to pull him up, but couldn’t quite.
‘White?’ she said anxiously.
A small grunting sound came from the bent shape.
‘White? Look up. Tell me you’re okay.’
His pale face tilted up to her. ‘That was … strange,’ he said.
‘Are you okay?’ Rue repeated.
‘I think so.’ He uncurled carefully and leaned his back against the side of the bed. His long legs were a jumble. He stretched one out and bent the other, using it to prop up his elbow and lean his head on his hand. All this Rue watched, each movement so odd to her now that they were so close and she could see him. After all this time, he was here and real and right, right here.
‘I feel fine,’ she ventured.
He managed a small laugh. ‘Something you can do better than me. I’ve finally met my match.’
Rue hugged her knees close, wrapping her arms around them.
‘Is this really real, then?’ she said. ‘We’re not still dreaming?’
‘It’s hard to tell when I’m with you. But I don’t usually feel so sick in dreams.’
He rolled his head towards her. His black eyes landed on her face, and she felt her belly roll.
‘It’s so strange to hear you speak in World,’ said Rue, soft.
‘And you.’
‘In a bad way?’
‘Not at all.’
Rue felt the change, then, all of a sudden.
‘We’re different,’ she said.
‘Things have happened.’
‘Yes.’
He contemplated her for a moment.
‘Would you rather it was how it used to be?’ he said. ‘At the beginning?’
She made a disgusted sound. ‘No,’ she said, firmly. ‘I was an idiot.’
He smiled. And he smiled in the real. His smile in the real was worth a thousand in a dream, because it was his face really doing it. His muscles and his will.
‘You’re very beautiful,’ he said in a rush, and then cleared his throat. ‘I didn’t do that very well. Sorry.’
She wanted to hide away. Her blush was radioactive. The room would melt down.
Don’t sit there and squirm, Rue. Say something back!
‘I … ’ she tried. ‘Um. You make me feel sick.’
His eyes widened.
THREYA TAKE US, screamed her mind. YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST GIRL IN ALL THE WORLD.
‘I mean,’ she said hurriedly, ‘since the beginning, whenever I see you, I feel sick. Really low down inside. I’ve never felt sick over anyone before. And after I’ve seen you, I can’t think about anything but you, not for hours. It wasn’t always good thoughts. You annoyed me a lot.’
OH MY GODS. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP OPENING YOUR MOUTH?
‘You annoyed me, too,’ he said, and she looked up, surprised. ‘It was because I couldn’t work you out at all. I tend to hate things that take me by surprise.’
Rue smiled. ‘And I hate things that I don’t know the truth of. You’re such a mystery.’
‘Not to you. You always seemed to know just what I was about. I couldn’t hide anything.’
‘I didn’t know you liked me,’ she said simply.
White looked away. ‘I should have said something.’
‘I should have, too. Maybe I wouldn’t have left. Maybe … ’
But she didn’t need to say any more.
They were both sorry, and it was done. She had made him think about Wren. She could see it in his face. Wren made her think of the Ghost Girl, and what she had promised to do.
But it could wait, couldn’t it? He was ill, and tired. He was here, and Wren was not. It was all fine.
‘Get into bed,’ she said. ‘Maybe you’ll feel better if you lie down for a minute.’
‘Where are we?’ he said, as he levered himself up from the floor.
‘A friend’s house. No one you know.’
Rue watched him stretch out carefully on the bed. He hadn’t undressed. A whole level of awkward neither of them had the ability to face right now. She slid in beside him, careful to keep a slice of mattress between them.
He had his eyes closed. ‘What time is it here?’ he muttered.
‘Late. Sleep.’
Silence.
She had never been in bed with a boy before. The bed was not the same. The room was not the same. His weight there drew everything to him.
She shifted, trying to arrange the comforter so that it covered them both.
‘Don’t go,’ he said, suddenly, his eyes still closed. ‘Don’t go anywhere, please. Stay there until I wake up.’
‘Okay,’ said Rue. ‘Promise.’
It was very warm.
Something had woken her. Maybe it was the fact that at some point she didn’t remember she had pressed herself to his side, one leg draped over his thigh. She could feel his arm under her neck, and his fingers tangled in her hair. She felt them pull as she raised her head.
Rue looked at her hand in surprise. It was on his chest. His bare chest. Bare and pale, because his shirt was no longer in the way. He must have taken it off. His skin was warm.
She looked across to his face, worried for a moment that he was already awake and wondering why she was staring so much, but his eyes were still closed.
Then a noise came from outside the door. A knock.
‘Rue,’ said a voice. ‘Come on. You’ve been sleeping forever again, and it’s late. You’re starting to worry me.’
It was Cho.
Rue stared at the door, frozen.
Cho had not even entered her head. White had driven everything else out of it.
She had not one single idea what to do.
‘Rue.’
She opened her mouth to say something. Anything. ‘I’m fine. I’ll be up in a minute.’ That was what she should have said. But in the time it took for nothing to come out, she had glanced back at White’s face, catching his open eyes. And Cho had opened the door and come into the room.
She stopped dead. Her gaze went from White to Rue, and back to White again.
Well, at least now I know he’s definitely here and I’m not dreaming, thought Rue.
She watched Cho’s mouth open. Her own did the same, an unconscious response. But nothing came out. Again.
The three of them were silent. Rue glanced at White. His eyes were on Cho.
Cho turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Rue felt White’s chest contract as he struggled up, suddenly galvanised. She pushed herself back from him. He was staring at the opposite wall.
‘That was … my sister,’ he said, his voice still thick with sleep.
‘Yes.’
He turned to her. His eyes were blank.
‘You know my sister,’ he said.
Rue watched him nervously. ‘It’s a long story. Yes.’
‘How?’
‘Um. Maybe later. Maybe now we go and find her. I think that’s a good idea.’
‘Okay,’ he said, still blank.
Shock, Rue decided.
She could have wrung her own neck. Why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t it even crossed her mind to mention it? Why hadn’t she even thought about Cho in all this?
She watched him slide out of bed. He bent down, his hair slipping forward over his bare shoulders, and retrieved his shirt from the floor. Rue got up, relieved to find that she hadn’t disrobed in the middle of the night.
Cho, she thought miserably.
> She went out into the hallway, thrumming with nerves.
‘Cho!’ she called.
She took the stairs two at a time. What if Cho had run out of the house or something? Well, she couldn’t Jump, so she couldn’t have gone far. Rue looked in every room. All empty. The last place was the social room.
She won’t be there, thought Rue. She’s gone.
But she was. She was at the food unit, stabbing at buttons with her fingers.
‘Cho.’
Cho turned. Her face was thunderous.
Rue stopped. ‘I’m really sorry. I should have said something. I just … I didn’t think.’
Silence.
‘It only happened a few hours ago,’ she said. ‘I pulled him here. It was me, not him. I’ve been trying to find him, you see. And he said he’s been trying to find me.’
‘It’s fine,’ said Cho.
It was so clearly not fine.
‘Though I don’t expect Livie will be too happy about it when she hears. She’s still thinking you should go today.’
‘Okay,’ said Rue, though her heart sank. Well, if she had to go, then she would.
‘Okay?’ said Cho incredulously. ‘Okay?! So you’re just going to sod off with him and leave me behind? My own brother?’
Rue blinked. ‘What? But you said –’
Cho’s gaze shifted, and Rue knew that White had come into the social room behind her. The chilly silence had gone. This was explosive Cho.
‘Three years!’ she screamed, her eyes fixed on White. ‘Three years, and not one fucking message! Not one little jack into Life just to tell me that you were okay!’
White was taken aback. ‘There’s no signal in Angle Tar –’ he began.
‘You selfish bastard! I hate you! You left and you never looked back! I hate your guts! I wrote you letters, and I know you got them, because they disappeared out of our hiding place! I can’t believe I wasted my time trying to talk to you. What was I even thinking?! You couldn’t care less about me, or the rest of your family!’
‘I got your letters,’ said White.
‘You never answered! You must have used your stupid Talent to come back to World to get those letters! You could have written me something back and put it in the hiding place, or sent me a Life message, even if you couldn’t bear to come and see me!’
‘I was too afraid to jack in. And I was too afraid to come and see you. They would have found me. You would have been in troub—’
‘Oh please! They’d never have found you! No one could ever find you! You can just go dancing off into the sunset whenever you feel like it! That’s your problem, Jacob! Why didn’t you care?’ Cho stopped. The anger had mutated to hurt, written plainly across her face. ‘Why didn’t you care about me?’
‘I’m sorry,’ said White. He stumbled over his words. ‘I’m sorry.’
Rue had edged out of the firing line. She dared to glance at White. His face was shocking. He looked utterly miserable.
Cho had fallen into silence.
White was statue still. He was staring at her.
‘I read all your letters,’ he said again. ‘Every single one. I was terrified to come back, do you understand? Out-of-my-mind terrified. But I did it. I didn’t even mean to do it the first time – I was just thinking about you. I was drunk. I lose control when I’m drunk. And I just … Jumped there. To our hiding place. I was thinking about that time when we were just kids and we were hiding from Jospen, and we were in hysterics, we couldn’t stop laughing. Do you remember? And suddenly I was just … there. I started to panic when I realised what I’d done, but then I saw this bunch of papers, wrapped up into a roll. And I took it, and I Jumped. I was too afraid to stay. I thought they’d know I was back. They said they could track my implant. I thought they would know.’
His voice had grown quieter.
‘I read them. They were … I loved them. But they were painful, too. Because you talked about what you were doing, and what was happening. Because they had you all over them. They hurt … They hurt a lot. And I wanted to forget everything here, because it was easier than remembering. I pretended I didn’t have a past, except for one night every few months; one night when I Jumped back and got your next letter and brought it with me, and read it for one night. And that was it.’
Cho was crying.
‘I’m sorry,’ said White. ‘I never meant to cause you pain. I thought by going away I’d stop doing it.’
‘You idiot,’ Cho wobbled, still managing to sound irritated through her tears. ‘You’re such an idiot. You don’t know anything.’
She crossed to him and threw her arms around his neck. He stood for a moment, seemingly unsure. Then he put his arms around her and held her close.
Cho stayed there a moment more and then let go, suddenly awkward. She stepped back. ‘I don’t get it,’ she said, her voice blurry. ‘You’re here now. Can’t they still track your implant?’
White went still.
Grad take us, thought Rue. They could come after him. They could be coming right now.
But Cho was faster. ‘No,’ she said. ‘No. Way. You had it removed.’
White said nothing.
‘When?’ Cho whispered. Her mouth was slack with shock.
‘A couple of days ago.’
‘Did it hurt?’
‘A little.’
‘But … how?’
White shifted, uneasy. ‘There’s a doctor,’ he said. ‘In Angle Tar. I was given his name when I first went there. He’s a Worlder, originally. He was good. Quick and clean. He’s done it before. Many times before.’
‘It’s really … it’s really gone? No more Life?’
‘No more Life.’
They looked at each other then. Rue watched them both. Something that she couldn’t be a part of was passing between them.
‘But … if you got the name of this doctor ages ago, why did you wait until now to get it done?’ Cho demanded.
White looked away, at the wall. ‘Because, until recently, I never thought I’d be coming back here.’
A heavy silence descended.
Then Cho glazed over. ‘Shit, Livie’s on her way back,’ she said. ‘She just pinged me a message.’ She looked at Rue. ‘You’re going to have to explain this.’ She jerked her head towards White.
‘He’s your brother,’ Rue said.
Cho snorted. ‘Yes, but you’re the one who brought him into her house.’
They grinned at each other.
Rue’s grin faded. Well, she’d done it. She had White here. It was time to tell him, wasn’t it?
Time to tell them all, maybe. Because she didn’t think she could do this by herself. The Ghost Girl had tried to – had had to. She’d been alone. But Rue wasn’t alone.
‘Does Livie want to know what’s going on, too?’ said Rue.
Cho raised an eyebrow.
CHAPTER 26
WORLD
WREN
He woke up in a medical bed. He could tell it was a medical bed because it was uncomfortable. That and the tubing coming out of his arms.
Wren tried to move.
‘I wouldn’t,’ came a voice. ‘You’re still weak.’
It had come from the end of his bed. There, stuck onto the far wall, was a screen. And there on the screen was Greta’s face.
Wren fell back onto his pillows, too empty and tired to hide himself from her.
‘It’s no good looking upset,’ she said. ‘You brought this on yourself.’
Her voice had lost its usual playful quality. Warning bells began to ring.
‘Brought what on myself?’
His voice was a horrible croak.
Greta sighed. ‘You’re in trouble, Wren. You’ve kept from me just how much. I thought I could turn it around for you. I knew when I first got assigned to you that you were damaged. But we thought, with my intervention, you could become useful. We thought you wanted to come here. You seemed to like it so much at the beginning.’
An
old spark of the game flared. ‘I do like it,’ he protested. But his heart wasn’t in it, perhaps, or Greta had decided to stop believing one word that he said. Her expression was stone cold.
‘Really? Then why do you jeopardise your life here at every turn? Hacking files. Disobeying me as much as you dare. Losing the asset that you recruited. Oh yes, I know about that. Don’t you worry your selfish little head about it, I’ll find her. I’ll clean up your mess. You just stay there and rest, Wren.’
He wanted to be angry, righteously angry. But it was actually a relief that it was out in the open now. Such a relief that he began to laugh. It hurt his throat.
‘What exactly are you laughing at?’ said Greta, her voice rising.
He shook his head, still laughing.
‘You find your situation funny? Look around you. They’re finally tired of your antics and they’ve ordered me to incapacitate you. You’re no longer useful to us, you see. You’re a liability.’
Wren snorted, curling onto his side to prop himself up. The movement took everything he had. He was weaker than a newborn, a curious sensation. The tubing tugged gently in his veins. ‘You can’t lock me up.’
‘Wren, dear. I think if you tried to Jump right now, you’d find it quite hard.’
She was just playing the game, trying to scare him. Later, when he didn’t feel so weak … Later, when she had her back turned, he would get the hell out of here.
‘I’m assuming you expect to feel stronger soon, yes?’ said Greta. Her skin was so smooth on the screen. Was she that smooth in real life? ‘You’re thinking that we’re trying to get you better?’
Wren froze.
‘Oh dear. Perhaps I should tell you that the drips attached to your arms are feeding you a cocktail of drugs. The drugs keep you weak and your mind confused. Just confused enough, we’ve found, to prevent any kind of Talented activity. Not our most sophisticated method, but it’s proven effective. Sort of our fallback, you might say.’
Greta paused, letting it sink in.
He felt himself tremble. Was it the drugs, or was he afraid?
You’re afraid, said the voice.
Greta’s face was mild, her way of expressing extreme smugness. He wanted to crush her. He wanted to obliterate her from existence. She was everything that was wrong with this world. Everything he could fix, if only she didn’t exist.