by Laure Eve
Jason picked at the material of his trousers. ‘I work in government,’ he said. ‘Not anywhere near your department. We nearly met, several times, actually. I always avoided it. I just thought you’d take one look at me and know who I really was. You have … a pretty incredible reputation. Most people think you’re some charming titled fop with a contrived government project to keep you out of harm’s way. And maybe you’ve encouraged that thinking. But I’ve met one or two people who know you better. They’re afraid of you. I could see it in their head lines when I asked about you.’
Frith felt a chill deep inside him. What kind of person had he been, before the memory loss? Fear was power. It was good to have power over people, he supposed. But it was also empty. What had he filled that emptiness with?
‘You don’t seem happy about that,’ said Jason, softer.
His hackles rose. ‘Did you expect me to rejoice at finding out you’ve been mining people for information on me? Keeping watch on me? And what exactly were you intending to do, the whole time you were skulking around my life?’
Jason paled.
Frith swung his legs off the bed. ‘You don’t know me. How can you? I don’t even know myself. I’m nothing. I’m a shadow of who I used to be.’
‘That’s not true,’ Jason said. Frith could see his hands gripping the sides of the chair. The knuckles were white. Was he really so afraid? It seemed ridiculous, and extraordinary. ‘It’s not. Here, now, you’re real. You’re more whole than you ever were before.’
‘Because you’re right here,’ said Frith, his voice cold, ‘talking to me in the most vulnerable state I’ve ever been in. You said that you never even spoke to me before in Capital. Of course I seem more real.’ He stood. ‘Thank you very much. Thank you for coming here and ripping what little life I had left to shreds. I suppose this is revenge for what was done to you. Well, congratulations, consider yourself revenged. I’m leaving. If I catch sight of you anywhere near me in Capital, I’ll use some of the awe-inspiring power I apparently have at my disposal and get you thrown in prison for some arbitrary reason I’ll think of on the journey back. Stalking, perhaps?’
Jason stood. ‘Wait –’
Frith pushed past and opened the bedroom door. He walked into the kitchen and up to Fernie, who was at the table wearily grinding powder in a little bowl.
‘I trusted you,’ said Frith. He was pleased to note that his voice did not tremble. ‘I put myself in your hands.’
‘I never asked you to,’ she said. ‘You came to me. This is my way of helping. If you don’t like it, you know what you can do.’
Frith stared at her.
Fernie put down the pestle she was holding. ‘Trust goes both ways, Frith. I just gave you my son’s biggest secret – his real identity – you, the one person we were trying to protect him from most. D’you know how hard that was? I’m trusting you. Do you see?’
‘I don’t want your trust!’ he shouted. ‘I just want to be left alone!’
Frith turned, finding Jason behind him, his black eyes wary.
He walked out. He walked out and through the front door and into the night.
Behind him he heard Fernie say, ‘Let him go.’
CHAPTER 29
WORLD
WHITE
‘Wren’s in a medical hall,’ said Cho.
She had spent the last few hours lying on a couch in the social room, locked away in HI-Life, carefully mining, probing, investigating for news of Wren. She was sat in front of them all now, sipping water. HI-Life, she claimed, always dehydrated her.
‘A medical hall? What’s happened? What’s wrong with him?’ Rue turned her head.
‘The hall records don’t say, which is weird. But I hacked a trainee nurse’s ID, so maybe she doesn’t have access to that kind of information remotely. It can’t be too bad, whatever it is; he’s not in an isolation unit or anything. It sounded like a regular room.’
‘Where is it?’ said White.
‘It’s right across the other side of the city. We can get you there, but I’ve no idea how you’re going to get in by yourselves. I can’t even give you fake IDs since neither of you have implants.’
‘We’ll do it somehow.’
‘No, you won’t. You haven’t the first clue. What if you get stopped? Won’t it look a bit funny that there are two people with no Life signals wandering around?’
White swallowed a sigh. He had missed his sister, but he had not missed their constant scratching at each other.
‘What do you suggest, then?’ he said.
‘Livie and I come in with you. We’ll hack the IDs of a couple of nurses who work there. Trainees, so it won’t look weird that we’re so young.’
‘And they have to be off-shift,’ Livie put in. ‘Otherwise it’ll be suspicious, two of each person in the same place.’
‘It’ll be more suspicious if they’re in the building when they shouldn’t be,’ Cho argued back. ‘At least if there’s two at the same time, even if it gets noticed while we’re still there, they’ll just think it’s a signal glitch or something. Security will get an alert if their shift patterns don’t match, though.’
White watched her. She had grown up so fast. In some ways she was still the bouncy yo-yo of a girl he remembered, passionate and irritable, quick to every emotion. She’d always shown an amazing aptitude for Life, but he’d never dreamed just how much. That was her Talent.
Okay, so she used it for hacking. She led a dangerous life. He could shout at her for that. He could snap and snarl, but he wasn’t exactly blameless himself, was he? He’d shown her the way to rebel.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘You’ll have to come with us.’
Cho was smirking at him.
‘Admit it,’ she said.
‘Admit what?’
‘You need me because I’m cleverer than you.’
‘You child.’
‘Admit it or I won’t help you.’
‘Fine. You’re cleverer than me. Happy?’
Cho gave him another little smirk.
‘When do we go?’ said Rue, absently. She was staring out of the window.
Livie answered. ‘Tonight. It’s a social night, so there’ll be loads of people out on the streets, going to each other’s houses. It won’t look weird to be out walking for such a long time.’
‘That means you have to dress up,’ said Cho. ‘It has to look convincing.’
White blinked. He’d got used to his demure version of Capital fashion. Attempting the insane vomitous rainbow mix people seemed to be wearing in World right now was more than he could handle.
‘I have nothing to wear,’ he said.
‘I’ll go shopping for you now. You’re still the same size, right?’ said Cho, as she jacked in.
‘You can’t get something for tonight, it’s too soon.’
Livie laughed. ‘Oh, you have been away.’
‘Some Life shops do two-hour delivery now,’ Cho said absently. Her gaze was far away. ‘This shirt is amazing.’
‘If you get me anything ridiculous, I will refuse to wear it,’ said White, but her grin only deepened. ‘We’re supposed to be inconspicuous. This is not a joke, Cho.’
‘Calm down, I’ll get you a classy shirt.’
‘Rue, you can borrow something of mine,’ Livie said.
Rue turned her head and smiled. ‘Thanks.’
She went back to staring out of the window. White found himself watching her uneasily. Being here with her now felt different to the dreams they’d been sharing. It was more complicated, less obvious. They knew each other, and yet they didn’t. Parts of her were still a complete mystery. The Talent was their common language, but it was almost like she’d begun to speak a different dialect of it to him.
Livie had jacked in, too, and began to argue with Cho over shirts and IDs and the quickest route to the medical hall. White let their tinkling voices divide them from him like a wall as he went over to Rue and sat next to her.
S
he didn’t turn around. Simply bent her head and leaned it gently on his shoulder. His heart leapt. It was such a little thing, but she did it so unthinkingly, as if they always did this, as if they were just that intimate with each other that she could lean her head down and his shoulder would be there.
‘Are you all right?’ he said quietly.
She didn’t reply.
He waited, giving her space.
‘This whole thing is insane,’ she said, finally. ‘Is that what it is? Has the Talent finally made me lose my mind?’
‘Mine too, then,’ White replied. He hesitated, then took a piece of her hair between his fingers. It was thick and wavy, a kaleidoscope of chestnuts and brassy browns. ‘I’ve been to the Castle. I’ve seen those things.’
‘So we’re all mad.’
‘Maybe. Does that make it feel any less real?’
‘No.’
Now, while they were talking about it. While things were still calm.
‘Do you know who the Ghost Girl is?’ he said.
Her head shifted on his shoulder, but she was silent.
‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’
‘I don’t want to keep things from you,’ she said. ‘I don’t.’
‘Is it important that I know? Will it affect what we need to do?’
‘I don’t know yet.’
‘Then when you know, you’ll tell me.’
A pause.
Then a little ‘Okay’.
‘Try to look happy,’ Cho hissed. ‘And a bit less like you’re going to a torture chamber or something. We’re supposed to be out partying.’
They’d been walking the streets for forty minutes straight, and the closer they got to the medical hall, the more annoying Cho had become. It was her way of dealing with nerves, he supposed.
She and Livie had bought nurses’ uniforms from Life that afternoon. There was nowhere to change along the way – everything was so ridiculously open here, airy nothingness stretching out everywhere – so they had already donned them and pretended that they were going to a fancy-dress party.
He knew he was too prickly around Cho. That he pushed her away and stopped her trying to be involved. She thought it was because he didn’t trust her abilities, that he still saw her as a child. Somehow he couldn’t find the words to explain that he was trying to protect her. She’d never had to go through what he had had to go through.
She’d never been in prison.
And never would be, he promised himself silently. Not now he was here to do something about it.
The medical hall loomed large as they turned the corner. It was so flat and strange-looking. He would never, ever again see it how it was supposed to be seen, in Life. He would never see a World city the way it should be – a riot of colour and art, beautiful and funny and with stupid human scribblings everywhere you looked.
It hit him, suddenly, and he felt his throat constrict. He hadn’t missed it before this – not really, not since the first few weeks of living in Angle Tar. It had drained from him, the need for Life, as he’d adjusted. He’d only thought of it occasionally, in an abstract way, because it had stopped mattering.
Here, it mattered.
‘Let’s go in the back way,’ said Cho. ‘None of the staff would use the front door.’
‘What if there are guards?’ Rue muttered.
Cho scoffed. ‘It’s a medical hall, not an army base.’ But her mouth was set in a tense line.
Cho and White walked together, while Rue and Livie dropped behind. It would look better if each of the ‘nurses’ took in a single implantless individual, rather than them crowding in a more obvious group.
‘You okay?’ said Livie in a low voice. She had a stiffness to her now that they were alone. Rue understood. It wasn’t every day you found yourself breaking the law for some stranger who believed she was trying to save the world from monsters.
You don’t know all of it, she thought. I said I’d tell the truth, but I didn’t tell about White.
She had a horrible idea that the Ghost Girl wouldn’t care so much about the rest of the world if she got White back. That if faced with a choice, she’d choose the one over the millions. She sounded like she’d had a good life, at least until the Castle was opened. No silly running away to World. A relationship with White. A relationship. The word made her feel strange. They’d been happy together. Why else would she risk everything to come back to the past and try to make it so that he never died?
Maybe happiness made you more selfish, then. Because you’d never had to live without the things you wanted, so when they were taken away, all you could think about was getting them back. Maybe everyone needed a little strife in their lives.
Because when it came to it, if Rue had to choose right now, she didn’t know whether she could let many people die if it meant that White would live. Wasn’t that the wrong thing to do? The selfish thing?
She watched the back of him as he walked. Living, breathing him, here with her. Looking at her the way the dream version of him had, not the way she remembered him in Angle Tar. Or maybe he’d always been like that, and had never felt like he could express it before. Maybe she’d given him courage. It was nice to think that.
The back doors of the medical hall opened and two doctors came out, talking together. One brayed laughter. They were off-shift, their steps springy. Maybe they were going straight to a party. They didn’t even glance around as White and Cho disappeared inside. One was talking about a little girl, his daughter, as he passed them. She was beginning to talk properly, forming real sentences. His face was animated. He couldn’t believe it.
Real people, thought Rue. It’s so much easier to pass judgement on everyone when you don’t let yourself see real people.
It wasn’t so bad here. It had some weird ideas, but didn’t every place where humans were? If you fitted in here you probably thought it was the best place in the world, and that people like Cho and White, who didn’t fit in, were insane. It had been the same in Angle Tar. Even Fernie had never been treated the same as everyone else. There was a satisfaction to that, if you were the sort of person who thought yourself better or more interesting than the rest of the world. But it was also lonely.
No wonder they all moved around, trying desperately to find a place that felt right. That felt like home. People could feel like home, too, if you found the right ones.
She felt a shiver as she passed inside. Cho and White were up ahead, talking together, looking perfectly natural. Then they stopped in front of a door blocking the way.
‘Hang back a second,’ murmured Livie. ‘Pretend you’re looking at something in Life.’
Rue glanced at her, baffled. She was glazed over.
Up ahead, White and Cho had moved off. The door closed behind them.
‘It’s an implant scan,’ said Livie. ‘The door won’t open unless it reads a registered staff implant. There don’t seem to be any cameras, though, so we should be fine.’
‘How do you know all that?’
‘Cho just sent me a message.’
They came to the door. Livie stood right in front of it, patient. There was a tiny grey panel on top of the door, but nothing else.
The door clicked open, and Rue slipped in behind Livie as it swung shut.
It was busier this side. They started to walk. She felt like everyone was staring at them. She had no idea if they were. Surely they’d notice that neither Livie nor Rue worked here?
Livie turned her head to Rue, her mouth hanging open in mock outrage. ‘That is so typical of him. What did you say?’
Rue gaped at her.
‘What did you say?’ Livie prompted.
‘When?’
‘When he said that to you!’
‘Um.’
‘I would have killed him,’ Livie rattled on relentlessly. ‘What a sot.’
It finally dawned on Rue what she was doing. She shrugged. ‘He is a bit. But I still like him, you know.’
In this way, with their fake IDs and their fake conversation, they moved further into the building.
‘Wren’s registered to the room down the next corridor,’ Cho said. ‘What now?’
They were huddled together in a tiny cleaner’s cupboard, surrounded by sleek, portable Hot ’n’ Dry machines and disinfectant hoses.
‘We stick to the plan. I go in first,’ said Rue. ‘He might … He might react badly if White is there, too. We still don’t know what’s wrong with him. I mean, can he even move?’
‘The records still don’t say.’ Cho shrugged, uneasy. But it was too late to back out now, wasn’t it?
Gods, Rue. Why don’t you ever think? What if he can’t even talk? What if he’s really badly hurt? This is so stupid. This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, and now you’ve dragged other people into it, too. You’re a child playing grown-up.
Rue closed her eyes for a moment, willing the voice away. When she opened them, Cho was looking at her anxiously.
‘Don’t worry,’ Rue said. ‘If we can’t talk to him, then we’ll just have to Jump him out of there.’
Cho blinked. ‘You can do that?’
‘White can. He’s the only one strong enough to pull Wren into a Jump if he … if he doesn’t want to come. Or he can’t come. That leaves you two to get back on your own, though.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about that,’ said Livie cheerfully. ‘We’ll be fine.’
Cho nodded. ‘It’ll be easier without you.’
Rue looked at White. ‘Are you ready?’ she said.
‘Yes,’ he said simply. His black eyes held hers for a moment, and they assessed each other.
Rue opened the cupboard door and slipped out into the corridor.
‘Livie?’ said Rue over her shoulder.
‘Right behind you.’
Room Sapovene, Wren’s room, was just down there on the left. Cho had told her that all the rooms here were named after famous poets. It seemed an odd thing to do in a medical hall.
Before hesitation could take hold and start screaming at her what are you doing this is all going to go wrong, Rue opened the door to Wren’s room.
The first things she saw were machines. The second things she saw were tubes. And buried on a bed in the middle of it all, a prone figure, its head turned away. The room was otherwise empty.
