“Nah, I had already said goodbye to them when I left for boot camp.” I frown at his response. How could he act like it was no big deal? I don’t think I would have been able to leave if my parents had still been alive.
“So you didn’t see your family again after leaving for boot camp?” I pull my hand back as he shakes his head. “What did they say when you told them where you were going?”
“I didn’t. The recruiter told me that he’d take care of all the details. This was all top-secret, so they couldn’t be told the truth,” he explains. I search his face for any sign of guilt or remorse. None shows.
“So, as far as you know, your family could have been told you died. Doesn’t that bother you even a little bit?” The horror I feel must be evident on my face, because he shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
“Look, it doesn’t matter now anyway. I’m here and they’re all dead and buried by now.” He shrugs. “No point moping about the past.” He leans forward and grabs a hold of my hand again.
“I guess that’s one way to look at it,” I reluctantly say, but I can’t help being bothered by his feelings about leaving his family. Oh. I get it. He’s putting on a tough-guy act. And here I am trying to pry into painful memories. I’m such a dolt.
“Whatcha thinking?” he asks, ending my mental dialogue.
“I was just thinking how different we are,” I quickly blurt. Not entirely a lie.
He just stares back, apparently perplexed by my response. He’s not my type, but he’s handsome. I’m sure he’s used to girls falling all over him and telling him how wonderful he is.
I was starting to get perturbed by his lack of response, but then he leans in, grabs both of my hands and stares at me with those steamy brown eyes, and I forgot what I was so bothered about.
“We’re not so different. We’re both beautiful and good at what we do. We just do different things.” He smiles at me. My stomach flips.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I ask, stunned. Not even Brad had called me beautiful before. The closest he had gotten was cute or pretty.
“Of course. That’s what got my attention.”
“And now?”
“Still beautiful.” He tilts his head and winks at me. “Come on; let’s go for a walk.”
He grabs my hand to pull me up. I hide my disappointment. I know he’s just trying to be cute, but I was hoping for a response that showed he’d since noticed, and appreciated, other things about me.
We walk along the perimeter, just holding hands. Neither of us speak. The sun is starting to set. It throws red and purple streaks across the sky. I can see two of the planet’s three moons just making their appearance along the horizon. One moon looks blue; the other yellow. I wonder what is in the atmosphere, or on the surface of each moon, that causes the differences. Then I chide myself for over analyzing the beauty before me.
Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a fisher cat screech. Involuntarily, I jump. Brody pulls me toward him, saying, “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from whatever’s out there.” Somehow, I know he truly means and believes it. We slowly make our way back towards the dorms and recreation halls.
“I told the guys I’d meet them for some pool. It’s kind of a guy thing.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I told Andi I’d meet up with her if I got a chance.” I wonder if he notices the annoyed edge in my voice.
“I’ll meet you for dinner again. The night after tomorrow. You can meet the guys then.” Again, no questioning. He just assumes I won’t refuse.
For a moment I’m tempted to say no, but as he pulls me close the thought just seems silly. “Okay, six o’clock again?” I ask.
“Yeah, six o’clock, but at dining hall A. That’s where the guys meet,” he explains.
“Okay.” I stare at the ground, unsure of just how to say goodbye. He’s running off to play pool instead of staying with me – not a good sign. But then, he also wants me to meet his friends – and I guess that’s a good thing.
He takes my uncertainty as shyness, and decides to take matters into his own hands. I feel him wrap his arms around my waist as he easily lifts, turns, and pins me. My back is now against the dormitory wall. He leans in closer, merging our bodies together, and then bends in to kiss me. I hold my breath in anticipation, but the moment seems to linger on. I feel my heart give a hard thump as my pulse begins to race, and I know I will wait here all night if it takes him that long to kiss me. My hands instinctively reach up and around his neck to pull him in closer. I feel his heat as my hands close upon the rough hair of his neck. I feel a strange ache in my chest, and know that I need to feel his kiss. Impatiently, I rise up on my toes and close the remaining distance. My lips lightly brush against his, and I feel a wave of heat surge through me.
Then, all of a sudden, his lips crush down to meet mine. His kiss is hard and rough, but his lips move with mine in an urgent frenzy. I part my lips and the kiss deepens. His lips are aflame, making mine blister in sweet pleasure, and I want more of him. I drop my arms to his waist, and attempt to pull him closer, to somehow meld our bodies into one. I feel his hand drop from my waist and cup the seat of my jeans, pressing me to him. His other hand rises up and roughly feels my curves. My breath is coming in shallow pants as I feel his hand dip under my shirt and back up again.
“Yeah, ride him, baby!”
The catcall startles me, and I jerk my face away. Embarrassment comes crashing down on me as I realize just what I’m doing. I actually have one of my legs curved around his thigh. I push him away, mortified. In two minutes time, I have gone further with this near-stranger than I had with Brad during the six months we were together.
“I… I don’t know what came over me,” I say to the ground, unable to meet Brody’s eyes. “I should go.”
I feel his fingers press against my chin as he gently lifts my face to meet his eyes. “Don’t be mad at me.” His face looks as confused as I feel.
“I’m not mad… just surprised with myself.” I shake my face free and turn away.
“I’ll still see you at dinner?” He squeezes my hand and gives me a sweet smile when I nod . “Okay. Goodnight,” he says. He briefly pulls me close and kisses my forehead.
“Goodnight,” I whisper back, as he turns and heads toward the recreation hall.
I consider finding Andi, but then decide I need some time to figure out just what happened, and just what is going on with me. So I walk, retracing my steps along the perimeter. Maybe I should check in with the hospital. Maybe my hormones really are out of whack. Of course, with my luck, Dr. Emily would be the doctor on call. I can just imagine the smug look on her face as she diagnoses me with being a slut. I quickly dismiss that idea, but then I draw a blank. The only explanation I can think of is Brody himself. Despite our differences, I’m incredibly attracted to Brody, to the point that I lose all self-control.
The thought is daunting. My heart is still healing from Brad’s betrayal. If I’m falling this hard and this fast for Brody, can my heart survive the trauma if he decides to hurt me too?
“You really are anxious to get outside, aren’t you?” I turn and see Ryan walking my way.
“What, you don’t get enough of my company in the lab, so you’re following me now?” I feign a worried look, but I’m actually relieved to have a distraction from my thoughts.
“I guess we’re just kindred spirits, both drawn to the fence like a moth to a flame.” He laughs, holding his hands up in a surrender gesture. “I really mean no harm.”
“Well I guess you’re welcome to walk with me then.” I gesture to my side. He falls into step, and we continue on our way.
As we walk, he asks more questions about me. He wants to know about my favorite music, my favorite movies, and my favorite books. When I ask him what his favorite book is, he blushes. “You can tell me. I won’t laugh or anything.” His sudden shyness intrigues me.
“Well, I like Shakespeare,” he quietly admits.
“That’s nothing to be embarra
ssed about,” I insist.
“You didn’t grow up in my family,” he glumly protests. Seeing my confused look, he adds,
“My dad, mom and two older brothers were all really into hockey. My sister was the only one who understood that there was more to life than a little black puck.” He mimes hitting an imaginary puck.
“Ah… so, macho men can’t read anything that resembles a love story.” I try to convey my understanding in my tone. Seeing his face drop, I quickly add, “But anyone that’s really read Shakespeare knows there’s a lot more to his writing that love stories and tragedies. There’s a lot of blood, gore and action too. Personally, I’m a fan of his comedies.”
He smiles back. “See? Kindred spirits.” A dry laugh escapes him. “My family was under the impression that I had an extraordinarily large amount of book reports due.” He laughs, but I can see the sadness in his eyes. Maybe there is more to Ryan than I originally gave him credit for. I’m tempted to ask him how he went from a family of six to foster care, but then I’d have to open up about my past. I’m already too emotional; that talk would certainly start up the waterworks.
I look up and notice we’re by the east fence.
“Hey, do you want to visit the bio-domes the day after tomorrow?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
“Sure, but don’t we need to get permission?”
“A friend of mine, Troy, offered to show our team after lunch,” I explain.
“Okay, sure, that’ll give us something to do. I’m almost done with the handbook.” I catch a flash of disappointment on his face. I wonder what that’s about. He looks fine now; maybe it was just my imagination.
“Me too. I figure tomorrow I’ll start familiarizing myself with all the equipment in the lab. You’re welcome to join me if you like,” I offer.
“Sounds good. Maybe we can start a DNA test on that sample you were looking at,” he says offhandedly, like it’s no big deal.
My cheeks redden somewhat. “Oh, I didn’t realize you had noticed that. Yeah a DNA test would be interesting.” I guess I hadn’t been as discreet as I thought – but he couldn’t have gotten that close of a look or he’d be questioning where I got the sample from.
“So are they hairs blown through the fence from your mysterious creature?” His tone is now hopeful, and I see the curiosity in his eyes. I hadn’t been discreet at all.
“Yeah, I think so,” I admit, without going into the full detail of how I actually obtained them.
“Well, it’s getting late. I’m going to hit the gym before bed. Do you want me to walk you back?” He gestures in the direction of the dorms.
“I’m headed in that direction anyway, so yeah.” I shrug, keeping my hands in my pockets.
We’re both quiet on the way back, but it’s comfortable silence. We listen to the various night creatures calling to each other. One in particular reminds me of peep toads and my childhood summers.
As we approach the recreation halls, Ryan slows to a stop. He turns and stares at me.
“Well, goodnight,” he says, leaning in and placing a hand on my arm.
I’m alarmed as I realize he’s about to kiss me. Quickly, I turn and give him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Goodnight. Don’t work out too hard,” I say jokingly.
I don’t look back, but continue on towards the library. I only hope my pretend miscommunication spares him any embarrassment. We do have to work together, after all. If he got a look at my face, he’d know I hadn’t misread his intentions at all. I’m beet red from blushing.
I can’t believe my luck. I’m so mad at myself. Without meaning to, I have sent all the wrong messages to Ryan. Ugh. It figures: when I have no intention of starting a relationship, I end up with two guys. I head hurriedly to the library to find Andi.
“Well, judging by the time, you must have had a good first date… Brett, what’s wrong?” Andi stands up, noticing the bewildered look on my face.
“I’ve made a mess of things with Ryan,” I grumble.
“Wait, Ryan?” Andi pauses and waits for me to correct my apparent mistake. When I don’t, she continues, “Weren’t you out with Brody? I’ve definitely missed something,” she says, shaking her head. Andi stops as the librarian gives us both a disapproving glare. “Follow me. There’s roof access from the east stairwell; we can get some privacy up there.” Andi gestures towards a door in the far corner, and leads the way for me.
I blurt the whole night out to Andi. She just sits there with a bemused expression on her face. “So your problem is you have two guys that like you. Now this is a catastrophe.” She tries her best not to laugh.
“It’s not funny.” I glare at her. She knows my history with Brad. I expect her to be more sympathetic.
“It’s a bit funny. How many girls do you think would love to be in your shoes right now? And that includes me.” She gives me a look that clearly says I’m being overly dramatic. “Look, you just need to get over your virtuous self. Just because things got a bit hot and heavy tonight doesn’t mean anything more than you got a little carried away. Not every guy you meet is going to be a sleazeball like Brad. So give Brody and Ryan a chance; they both might just surprise you.” Her voice takes on a mother-knows-best tone, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at her.
“Yeah, but you don’t have to work with the one you rejected every day.” I throw my hands up in frustration.
“So you’re definitely picking Brody?” She looks doubtful.
“Well yeah… No… I don’t know if I want to pick anyone.” I drop head into my hands, confused and frustrated.
“Well, from what you said, you have nothing in common with Brody except a hot, passionate attraction. But, on the other hand, Ryan and you are more alike”. She gives me her knowing look that I have become familiar with.
“So you think I’m making a mistake with Brody?” I ask defensively.
She shakes her head at my puzzled expression. “I’m not saying that. You just might want to keep your options open for a bit, that’s all.”
Realizing what she’s implying, I blurt back, “I can’t string one guy along just in case it doesn’t work out with the other.” I fold my arms tightly across my chest.
“That’s very noble of you, Brett, but girls and guys do it all the time. Just don’t completely squash Ryan’s hopes for now. Let him wonder if all you’re interested in really is friendship. If he really likes you, he’ll string along, waiting to see if you change your mind.” Andi leans back and crosses her arms, giving me a devilish grin. “That way you can give yourself the time you need to see if there’s anything more to this Brody thing.”
“I never knew you could be so devious,” I chide.
“I’d like to think of it as being practical.” She shrugs as if to say, ‘What did you expect?’
“Well, it’s probably a moot point; Ryan just may hate me after tonight.” I look down at the time and jump up. “We’ve got to go; there’s only ten minutes until curfew.”
“Okay, it’s off to bed we go,” Andi chirps as she skips towards the door. “If he’s really mad at you tomorrow, just continue to act clueless about the almost-kiss. If you keep it up, eventually he’ll blame his signals for the miscommunication and try again with you.”
“So devious,” I chide again.
“I still say just practical.” She gives a dramatic bow and gestures towards the door she’s holding open for me. I can’t help but laugh. In such a short time, I had become closer to Andi than I had ever been with Jenna. What would I do without Andi’s lighthearted love of life to keep me balanced?
Chapter 6
The next day in the lab, it’s clear that I’d been right. Ryan is polite towards me. There is no tension, but no joking either: he is strictly business. I figure it’s best if I follow Andi’s advice. I just play along, and I don’t question him about it. It’s not that I want him to try kissing me again, but I am the one who sent the mixed signals and hurt him. If I can do something to remove those hurt feelings, I
should.
Both Molly and Jake have finished reading the handbook, so they join in, familiarizing themselves with the lab. As we go through the laboratory, I bring up the idea of touring the bio-domes tomorrow; they like it.
The lab exploration doesn’t take long, and when we’re finished I decide to test the DNA. I explain where I found the hairs before Molly or Jake has a chance to question me.
As it turns out, four people is overkill for testing a single sample. Finally, after having enough of Jake’s suggestions, I decide everyone else should run a DNA test on their own hair. I claim it’s so we have something to compare the sample to. I’m relieved to see Jake enthusiastically pulling out some of his hair.
“Do you mind if I just stay and work with you?” Ryan asks, still being exceedingly cordial.
“Sure, that’s fine with me.” I’m hopeful that Andi was right.
We have our sample ready in no time. Ryan seems to anticipate every step and has everything ready before I ask. I’m pleased to see that we work so well together. Now all that is left to do with the sample is wait.
“Do you want to go to lunch?” I ask, seeing both Molly and Jake are still busy with their samples.
“Sorry, not today, I have lunch plans.” It might be my imagination, but he seems to have a guilty look.
“Oh, alright. Well I’ll see you after lunch.” I wave and head out the door, not wanting him to think I’m disappointed. I’m determined not to send him any more mixed signals.
“Yeah, see ya,” he calls after me.
I head over to the dining halls and eat my first meal alone. It’s not as pathetic as I imagined it would be. Unlike high school, it’s not the social kiss of death. There’s no set time for lunch, so there are quite a few people sitting by themselves. Of course, now that I’m here I wish I had thought to bring a book with me. I quickly finish eating so that I’ll have plenty of time to get something from the library. At least I’ll have something to do after lunch.
Verita Page 7
