by Banks, R. R.
Clasping my hand to my mouth, I squeal with delight. “Mom, you look absolutely gorgeous.”
She twirls around, laughing and smiling. I can’t recall the last time I’ve seen her this genuinely happy. It makes me swell up with unfettered joy. Sarah comes out a moment later, wearing a yellow gown that reminds me a lot of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. It looks absolutely perfect and so right on her.
My mother pulls Sarah over to us and stands us all in front of the mirror in the corner of the room. She has a hand around each of our waists and is beaming with a ferocious pride I don’t think I’ve ever seen in her before.
“Look at us,” our mom says. “Three fairy princesses.”
Sarah smiles at me but her reaction is a little more reserved than Mom’s. Although, she and Miles are on better terms now, she’s still a little on edge around him. She hasn’t been able to fully forgive him, despite knowing that the misunderstanding was caused by me. My little sister is becoming even more protective of me – and this growing sense of family we’re fostering with our mother – and refuses to let anyone disrupt it.
I hope that she’ll be able to accept Miles as a permanent part of my life sooner, rather than later.
Though honestly, I think part of the reason for Sarah’s unease surrounding Miles is her own loneliness. During one of our late-night chats, she confided in me that she’s lonely. She told me that she longs to have the companionship of a boyfriend and wants to be loved the way Miles loves me.
I’m always quick to point out that we haven’t said those three little words to each other yet, though. I know we both feel it and there have been a few times we’ve come close to uttering them, but Miles seems as afraid to say it out loud as I am. That makes it real. When things get real, people are vulnerable. They leave themselves exposed. And when people are exposed, they open themselves up to hurt – which is a terrifying proposition to two damaged people.
No, there’s no rush to say three words that might change everything between us. We’ll get there in our own time.
It hurts my heart to see Sarah hurting and lonely. In fact, I vowed to myself that I was going to find someone great for her. I want my sister to be happy and experience the type of love that I feel right now. I want that for Sarah more than anything.
My cell phone rings and I pull it out of my clutch – which makes me feel fancy all by itself – I’ve never owned a clutch before. I give my mom and Sarah a smile as I answer the call and press the phone up to my ear. It’s the driver Miles sent along to collect us and bring us to the party. I’d told him that we could find our own way there, but he’d insisted. Honestly, it adds to the fairy tale feel of the whole evening.
Disconnecting the call, I drop it back into my clutch. “Ladies, our chariot awaits.”
“I’m just so excited,” my mother says.
Sarah and I escort our mother out of the house and to the waiting car. After the driver helps us in, he gets behind the wheel and whisks us away.
* * *
“Unbelievable,” Sarah says. “This place really looks like a castle.”
I smile as we pull into the circular driveway, recalling that those had basically been my first words upon seeing the place. There’s a nervous flutter in my belly when I think about walking back into the house. Miles says there’s nothing to worry about and no lingering issues, but, given the fact that I’d conned his entire family – I can’t help but feel nervous about it.
The outside of the house is decorated with classic white lights and timeless garland. We’re ushered inside, and the house is just as tasteful and classy as the exterior. A string quartet plays somewhere in the house, the notes of the holiday music drifting and blending with the buzz of conversation of the crowd.
I look around and all I can see are elegant gowns and well-tailored tuxedos. Waiters expertly move through the crowd, balancing trays of champagne and appetizers. Everything about this gathering just radiates wealth. I couldn’t feel more out of place if I tried.
I jump when a hand falls on my shoulder and I wheel around, only to find myself face to face with Martha Churchill – Miles’ mom. My throat grows dry and the flurries of nervousness in my belly grow even more pronounced. A wave of nausea washes over me and I realize I’m trembling. I’m half-afraid I’m going to throw up – yeah, that would make a great impression on Miles’ mom. But, considering the fact that I actively deceived and tricked her family, I guess her impression probably can’t get any worse.
Miles stands behind his mother, the sincere smile on his face bringing me a small measure of peace.
“Martha,” I say, doing my best to keep my voice from trembling. “It’s lovely to see you again.”
She takes my hands and leans forward, kissing me on the cheek. Her smile radiates warmth and welcome, and I feel no sense of awkwardness or hostility from her – which strangely enough, makes me even more nervous. It almost feels like the calm before a particularly nasty storm.
Martha moves on and introduces herself to my mother and sister. Miles sidles up beside me and puts his arm around my waist, pulling me tightly against his body.
“How are you holding up?” he asks.
“Better, now that you’re next to me,” I say. “You give me strength. Is your mom going to murder me?”
He laughs and squeezes me a little tighter. His eyes travel up and down my body, sending another flutter through my body. An enigmatic smile touches his lips.
“No, she’s not going to murder you,” he says. “She’d obviously hire somebody to do it for her.”
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better. Thanks for that,” I laugh.
“You look absolutely stunning tonight,” he says.
“Thanks to you,” I reply. “And I will make sure you get every penny for these gowns back –”
Miles presses his finger to my lips to cut me off. He leans forward and briefly presses his lips to mine than pulls back and smiles.
“It’s my gift to you,” he says. “After all, it is Christmas.”
My lips compress into a tight line. “I’m not used to –”
“You’re going to have to get used to it, Sasha,” he says. “Because I have a crazy urge to absolutely spoil you rotten.”
I pull him into a tight embrace. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
Miles puts his fingers under my chin, raising my head so I’m looking him in the eye. “I’m the lucky one, Sasha,” he says, his voice earnest.
“Miles, dear,” Martha says. “Would you mind if I borrow your – fiancée – for a moment?”
I look over at him, my heart jumping into my throat. Miles leans down and gives me a soft kiss.
“As long as you promise to bring her back the way you found her,” he says with a teasing smile.
Martha laughs and links her arm through mine. “Of course.”
I look over and see Miles’ younger brother Neal standing with my mom and sister, chatting them up. Sarah is smiling wide – and I can’t believe my eyes – seems to be flirting with him. I look at Miles and he sees what I’m seeing – and can’t contain a short bark of laughter.
“We’ll be back,” Martha says.
As she guides me away from the crowd, a sense of foreboding envelops me. I look back at Miles who flashes me a smile and thumbs up. Yeah, that helps. Martha walks me through the house and I am in awe of just how beautiful everything is. The white lights and garland and tasteful decorations make everything feel so festive. No garish lights, no inflatable reindeer, and no fake snow. Everything is elegant and absolute perfection.
Martha leads me into an office and closes the door behind us. The walls are lined with tall bookcases stuffed with books – and I suddenly have a serious case of literary envy. The lighting is dim, which only adds to the ominous feeling growing stronger within me.
Martha walks over and sits on the edge of the desk. She looks at me, the same secretive, enigmatic smile on her lips that I’ve seen on Miles’ before – it’s obviou
s the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
“Martha, before you say anything, let me say –”
“Let me just stop you right there, dear,” she says. “I just wanted to tell you that you have nothing to worry about. I know you’re feeling a little strange – Miles and I have talked about it.”
“You have?”
She nods. “Of course,” she says. “And I understand completely why you did what you did.”
I hang my head, my cheeks flaring with heat. Martha slips off the desk and walks over, taking my hand in hers, and giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. I look up to find the most caring and compassionate look on her face, and it makes my heart swell with happiness.
“You know, you and I are a lot alike,” she says.
“I really doubt that but thank you for trying to make me feel better.”
She laughs. “We actually are. Like you, I had a bit of that free spirit to me when I was younger,” she says. “Believe it or not, I used to pull the same kind of silly stunts you did.”
I feel my eyes widen as I look at her, a wave of disbelief washing over me. “You did not.”
She nods. “I most certainly did,” she says. “It was that wild, untamed, personality that attracted Miles’ father to me in the first place. Honestly, it’s like watching history repeat itself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Miles’ father used to be a stiff, corporate robot, too,” she says. “I like to think that I had a positive impact on him and taught him how to loosen up. Taught him how to live and have a little fun. I see you doing the same for Miles.”
“Oh, he was plenty fun before I met him.”
She cocks her head and smiles. “No, he really wasn’t,” she says with a laugh. “But now that you’re part of his life, I’ve seen some amazing, real changes in him. He’s becoming an even better person. I don’t think you understand just how much of an effect you’ve had on him – all for the better, dear.”
I smile and feel my cheeks turning red again. I definitely did not expect this warm of a reception from Martha. I really didn’t. But she’s making me feel so welcome, the joy I feel is threatening to overflow in the form of happy tears.
“He’s had just as much, if not more, of a wonderful impact on my life,” I say softly. “He is an amazing man.”
She gently places a hand on my belly, her smile growing wider, and her own eyes shimmering with tears. The meaning is clear – she knows. I bite my bottom lip and look at her.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to know that I’m going to be a grandmother,” she says. “I’ve wanted grandbabies for the longest time and this news is – it’s amazing. And you and the baby are going to be the most amazing new additions to the family. This is the ultimate Christmas blessing.”
I have no words at all. I step forward and wrap my arms around her, holding her tight.
“Thank you, Martha,” I say. “Thank you.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
With her hand in mine, Sasha and I dash out onto the grounds. It’s overcast and there is the promise of rain – or more – on the breeze. It’s getting colder out, so I slip my jacket off and wrap it around her shoulders.
“Thank you,” she says as she pulls the jacket around her a little tighter.
“You’re welcome,” I say. “So, it seems like Neal and Sarah are hitting it off pretty well.”
She nods and laughs. “They do. Color me shocked.”
“You okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asks. “You Churchill boys seem like a decent lot. I mean, Christopher didn’t blow my cover with Alice in there. He was absolutely gracious.”
I laugh. “At heart, he’s a good guy.”
“He is,” she says. “As are you.”
“You make me even better,” I say.
“We make each other better.”
I kiss the top of her head and smile down at her. “I think we do,” I say. “So, what did you and my mom talk about? You didn’t pepper spray her, so I’m assuming it didn’t go that badly.”
Her laughter is a high, rich sound that instantly fills me with joy. “Are you ever going to let that go?”
“Maybe when we’re old, fat, and gray.”
“Oh, you’re assuming we’re going to make it to be old, fat, and gray?”
“I’m cautiously optimistic.”
I pull her into the gazebo, which is thankfully heated. We sit down as the warmth of the heaters starts to remove the chill from our bones.
“Your mom was just welcoming me to the family,” she says. “She really is the sweetest woman.”
“She likes you a lot,” I say. “She thinks you’re good for me.”
“She’s definitely not wrong about that,” she teases. “I am.”
I lean forward and press my mouth to hers, kissing her with passion before taking a deep breath to steel my nerves.
I sigh. “Sasha, I have to tell you something.”
She looks over at me, a concerned look on her face. “What is it?” she asks.
Now or never.
“I love you, Sasha.”
She looks at me as tears begin spilling down her cheeks. I reach up and wipe them away before she gives me a smile that melts my heart.
“I love you too, Miles,” she says. “I love you so much.”
* * *
We walk back into the house as the first, fat flakes of snow begin to drift lazily from the sky. The party is in full swing and it seems like everyone is having a great time. There are people dancing on the floor in the hall as the band plays some upbeat songs. The entire night has been perfect. I walk Sasha out onto the floor and she smiles, dancing with me as much as her dress will allow.
My stomach is churning, and my heart is in my throat. The time is coming, and I know it. This has been my plan the whole night and I can’t back out now.
When the song ends, I check my watch. It’s time. I look over at the string quartet and give them a nod. They break into the opening of Sasha’s favorite song as I step to the very center of the dance floor. I wave the other guests back.
“May I have the floor for a moment, please?”
I beckon Sasha to me. She looks awkward and a little scared, but she’s soon standing in front of me.
“What are you up to?” she whispers.
I give her a smile and then speak loud enough for the room to hear. “Sasha Gates, you are an amazing woman. You have changed my life in more ways than I can count – maybe the biggest of which is giving me a reason to actually like Christmas for a change.”
A ripple of laughter washes over the crowd, but Sasha stands there looking at me, eyes wide, a look of stunned disbelief on her face. I have an idea that she knows what’s coming, but I can’t tell if she’s excited about it or not. For the first time in my life, I can’t read someone, and it makes me nervous.
But all I can do is press forward.
“Although the start of our relationship was – unconventional – that’s only made it all the more special to me,” I say. “You’re special. And you make me want to be a better man. Eventually, a better father.”
A curious buzz passes through the crowd. Let them talk if they want to – I don’t care at this point. Sasha’s eyes grow even wider when I get down onto my knee and a profound hush falls over the crowd.
I slip the small black box out of my pocket with the intention that this is no longer a promise ring. It’s a promise – a promise to love this woman, and only this woman, the best that I can for the rest of my life.
“Sasha, I can’t imagine life without you. I never want to,” I say. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”
She claps her hands over her mouth and the tears start to flow again. She doesn’t say anything at all, but just stands there with wide eyes and tears streaming down her face. I clear my throat, feeling a little awkward.
“It’s traditional to give an answer,” I whisper softly.
She laughs ou
t loud and nods. “Yes,” she cries. “A thousand times yes.”
As I stand and slip the ring on her finger, the crowd erupts with enthusiastic cheers and applause. I pull Sasha to me and hold her tight.
“I love you, Sasha,” I say. “It’s time we both start making good memories –Christmas memories – together.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” she says. “I love you, Miles. I really do.”
I look up to see Christopher laughing as he holds a sprig of mistletoe over our heads. Sasha laughs and looks at me. I shrug.
“Some traditions can’t be broken,” I say.
We press our lips together and our kiss is filled with unadulterated joy and love.
Epilogue
Eighteen Months Later…
“I don’t know how you did this,” she says.
“I didn’t do anything. I made a couple of calls to people I know,” I say. “It’s your talent that made this happen, Sasha. Don’t you ever forget that. This is all on you.”
She shakes her head, an ecstatic smile on her face – the same one that’s been lighting up her face for days now. We’re standing on the back deck of our Laguna Beach home, staring out over the ocean. The sun is shining on a warm morning, glittering off the ocean, making it look like an endless sea of liquid gold.
Nate and I ended up moving our practice to posher digs down in Orange County. We’ve hired on a few more partners and are doing some amazing work in protecting people from abuse at the hands of the big corporations.
I’ve given up my quest for elected office. Nate was right in that it was a pursuit of vanity for me. With Sasha, I’m content. Satisfied. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel like I have to climb higher on the social or economic ladder. I can put all of my focus and energy into being the best lawyer, the best person – and the best father – that I can be.
