Love and Arson

by Woods, Karen

  “It’s no more ridiculous than my charging you for a little work. Are you sure you want the pieces in marble?”

  “Yes. I’d like to replace the pair of my parents’ portrait sculptures with ones of Lyn and myself.”

  “Those are fine pieces. What are you planning to do with them?”

  “They’ll go into storage, unless you want them.”

  “I’d like to have them, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to take them.”

  “Lyn told me you’re thinking about going into a convent,” he said, clearly uneasy.

  “Exploring possibilities. I’ve done exploratory weekends with three communities over the last year. I’d be welcome to enter any of them. I’m still praying about it.”

  “Is this what you want to do with your life, being a nun?”

  “The question is what God wants me to do. God knows I’ve never been attracted to a man who was actually good for me. The saying is when God closes a door, he opens a window. But religious life should be an expression of great love for God which frees you to love everyone selflessly, as God loves. I’m pretty sure that for me, religious life would be nothing more than a shield to protect myself from further heartache.”

  “It’s a hard thing to love another person, to open yourself up for the pain and disillusion that comes with dealing with flawed souls, and all people are flawed. Still, love is the greatest gift God has for us. At the end, it’s the only thing that lasts,” her father said. “St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians, ‘Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.’”

  “Sounds like you memorized First Corinthians 13 a long time ago,” she said, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

  “Mama made sure we knew our bibles. I have a good deal of the Authorized Version in my head.”

  “I can think of worse things to have in your head.”

  He nodded. “I owe you so much, Dani. You should have had an easier life than you’ve had.”

  “It’s all in the past. It should be left there. All we can do is move forward. I’m not complaining about my life. I never lacked for anything. I may not have had the newest and the best, but I’ve never gone hungry and I’ve always had a roof over my head.”

  “That’s generous of you. Probably more generous than I deserve,” he replied.

  “It’s just being realistic. No one can change the past. ‘Woulda, coulda, shoulda’ won’t change anything. The only course of action is to carry on the best we can.”

  He looked at his watch. “I’m sure Sissy’s going to be looking for us for breakfast, soon. Shall we go back to the house?”

  “I guess.”

  “No one else will be up yet,” her father said as they walked back to the house. “So we’re free to talk. I imagine you have quite a few questions.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  Sissy came out a few minutes later pushing a loaded service cart.

  “Looks delicious, Sissy. Thank you,” Harry told the housekeeper as she uncovered and put his plate in front of him. Her father’s plate contained an egg white omelet stuffed with bell peppers, onions, spinach, and mush-rooms, a side of plain grits, and one slice of whole wheat toast spread with orange marmalade.

  Dani’s mouth watered as Sissy put a bowl of fresh strawberries on the table.

  “You can have the berries, too, Harry, but keep your hands off the biscuits and butter,” Sissy warned.

  “There’s no way I can eat all of this,” Dani said in dismay, looking down at her own breakfast; a plate containing a mound of at least six eggs, scrambled with the same vegetables as in her father’s omelet, a thick slice of grilled country ham, and a generous serving of grits with butter. A napkin lined basket contained four large biscuits along with ramekins of both whipped butter and honey.

  The housekeeper sighed. “You barely picked at your lunch yesterday and your dinner last night. If you don’t eat something substantial, you’ll blow away with the next strong wind.”

  After Sissy walked away, Dani said, “Mother used to say the same thing to me about eating.”

  “That sounds like Nancy,” her father agreed.

  “You should know that when I was out, I encountered a thoroughly unpleasant old woman named Emily who lives down the road.”

  Harry raised an eyebrow. “Emily Chance is allergic to mornings.”

  “Her dog isn’t.” She told her father about her encounter with the dog.

  “Damn...That’s all we need.”

  “It’s okay. I learned some interesting things.”

  Harry shook his head negatively. “Don’t believe most of the things Miss Emily says. The woman is dotty.”

  “Is she? Aside from an almost irrational hatred of my mother, she seemed reasonably able to cope with life. Are you honestly telling me the woman is certifiably crazy?”

  Harry sighed. “No. I can imagine what she told you.”

  “Can you imagine that she threatened to shoot me if I ever came on her property?”

  “That is going too far, even for Emily.”

  “She made a comment I probably took the wrong way.” Then she told her father about it.

  He nodded and sighed. “I see why you would have taken that the wrong way.”

  “So, I’m afraid when that woman made her comment, I rather lost my cool.”

  “Understandable. I’m sorry, Dani. I probably should have had this talk with you last night, or even before you came here. I just didn’t think you would hear the ancient gossip before I would have a chance to explain things to you.”

  “So, explain. I’m owed that much.”

  “I never did believe even half the allegations that surrounded your mother. I did love her, and I believe she loved me.”

  Dani nodded. “I know Mother loved you.”

  “Nancy really kept my picture?”

  “Yes, a photo of the two of you on your wedding day. It always sat on the nightstand between our two beds in our bedroom at home. She told me how much she had loved you.”

  Something like anguish passed over his face. “I loved her. Dearly. When she left me, I wanted to die.”

  She nodded. “She told me you had died in an auto accident.”

  Harry closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. “So that was why she left. She was scared. I always wondered why she really left. Thank you for telling me.”

  “There was an accident?”

  “Yes. She was driving us.”

  “Was it her fault?” she demanded.

  “No. There was a mechanical failure in the steering linkages. It was just an unavoidable accident. It was a new car. But the steering went out as she was driving. It was only a stroke of fortune both of us weren’t killed.”

  She shook her head. “She told me you had died. I don’t know when she found out you were still alive. But I suspect it was well after it was too late to do anything about it.”

  “I was in a coma for over a week. When I woke up, she was gone. I tried to find her. But it was almost impossible, then, to track someone who didn’t want to be found. Your mother definitely didn’t want to be found. Through my attorney, I hired private investigators to search for her. I kept the men on the payroll for almost three years, before I decided I would never find her. Things are a little easier these days, I understand.”

  “Did you have your marriage annulled?”

  He sighed and sipped his coffee. “I divorced Nancy.”

  “On what grounds?”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Oh, yes, I do. I don’t like the feeling everyone is keeping things from me. I’ve walked into a situation where I have become a focus for old animosity. I have a right to know why people feel this way. I have a need
to know.”

  “I wouldn’t like not knowing, either, were I in your shoes.”

  “You know, I can find out the grounds that you used for the divorce, rather easily. That should be a matter of public record. It should be a small matter to find out. A visit to the local courthouse should do it. Either you can tell me, or I can do some digging. Of course, if I start asking questions, I can imagine the local gossip. Surely you don’t want that.”

  He sighed and looked at her, his expression pained. “I divorced your mother because of her adultery with Peter Filson and for her abandonment of me.”

  “I don’t believe this. Mother loved you. She would have never been unfaithful to you!”

  Harry looked at her, compassion in his eyes. “Dani,” he said gently, “I have good reason to believe otherwise.”

  “What reason?” Dani asked. “What reason could be good enough to make you believe that?”

  “She was seen.”

  “Doing what, with who, and by whom?”

  “I don’t want to speak badly of the dead,” Harry said. “Please don’t put me in a position where I must. Nancy raised you. From what I can see, she did a good job. It couldn’t have been easy raising you by herself.”

  “It wasn’t,” Dani agreed.

  “I have a hard time seeing Nancy as a schoolteacher.”

  “She was the district’s elementary school art teacher, spending one day a week at each of the five elementary schools. Every child who went through the public schools had her for art from first through sixth grades.”

  Harry shook his head. “Her art was always so important to her. I can’t imagine her setting her own work aside to do arts and crafts with kids.”

  She sighed. “Mother enjoyed teaching. She was good at it. Besides, teaching provided a steady income. But, she never abandoned her own work. Now, don’t wander off topic. I’m serious. I need to know whose word was good enough to make you believe these lies about Mother.”

  Harry only shook his head negatively. “Don’t ask, Dani. It still hurts. Even after all these years, it still hurts.”

  “I don’t really understand any of this.”

  He smiled sadly at his daughter. “I’ve never understood it, either. I’ve just had to accept the fact your mother and I weren’t meant to be together. You’re a redeeming feature to an otherwise short and tragic episode in our lives.”

  “Mother loved you until the day she died. I came into our bedroom after my shower on the day she died, and saw her stretched out on her bed holding your picture and crying.” She sighed heavily and fought back her tears.

  “You and your mother shared a bedroom?”

  “We had a small house; a kitchen, a living room, a bedroom, and a room that had been the master bedroom that Mother had turned into her art studio because the light was best there.”

  “Where did you sleep when Nancy…had…company?” Harry asked, his voice hesitant.

  “She never had ‘company’, not the way you mean,” she said. “Mother was as celibate as a nun all the time I lived with her. She went to school when I did, and she was home every weekend and evening. Her big nights out were teaching at the community college, but I usually went with her, sitting in on her classes or other classes, and the art association meetings, which I also attended. Her life revolved around mine. She made no room for men.”

  “But you weren’t at home from the time you graduated from High School until you came home after you broke up with Edward after graduate school.”

  “I was home on college vacations. There certainly were no men hanging around then or when I came back home following my terminating my engagement. There were always men interested in her, but she never gave any of them even a single look. I tried once to set her up with a very nice man. She wouldn’t have anything to do with it. She said her heart belonged to you, and always would.”

  Another wave of pain crossed over his face.

  “Are you okay?” Dani asked in concern.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  “That’s like asking water not to be wet. I don’t at all like how pale you are this morning. You don’t look at all well.”

  “I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m too mean to die.”

  “Yeah, right. There’s no one too mean to die. We’re all mortal.”

  He nodded. “Unfortunately, that’s true. And some of us are closer to the end than others are.”

  “Is there something you want to tell me?”

  He sipped his coffee. She recognized the stalling technique. She’d used it herself.

  “What is going on?” she demanded.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?” she echoed. “Why don’t I believe that?”

  He shook his head. “Mary Danielle,” he began.

  “I prefer to be called Dani,” she corrected. “I’ve always disliked my given name.”

  He sighed and shook his head, “Your mother and I chose that name for you one night when we lay in bed thinking about what we’d name our children, when the babies started coming along. If you’d been a boy, your name would have been James William, after my father and Nancy’s. You were named after Danielle who was my twin sister. Mary was for your mother’s grandmother who raised her after her parents died.”

  “You said ‘was’ your sister. She’s dead, then?”

  “Yes. Polio took her when we were seven years old.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago,” he dismissed.

  “There are some wounds that time doesn’t heal.”

  As the two of them were finishing breakfast, Jase walked out onto the patio, dressed for riding in the English style, very much as her father was dressed. “Good morning, Harry, Mary Danielle.”

  “Jase,” Harry replied. “Getting ready to ride?”

  “Don’t I usually ride with you on the mornings I’m home? You’re up early, Mary Danielle,” Jase said.

  “I’ve been up since before dawn and have already made my morning run,” she replied seemingly easily, hoping she was the only person aware of just how nervous he made her feel. Letting him know just how deeply he affected her was not wise. This was a man who wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of any weakness. She wasn’t going to expose her heart to him.

  “I was going to have some breakfast then take a ride. Would you like to join us? It would give us some time to talk and to get to know one another,” Jase offered. “I’m sure we could find a mount tame enough for you.”

  Dani laughed, but the sound wasn’t really pleasant. “I think I can handle any horse in the stables,” she answered. “I’ll have to decline your offer, however. My riding boots burned up in the fire. I really don’t want to ride in running or dress shoes. That wouldn’t be safe.”

  “What size boot do you wear?” Harry asked.

  “Seven and a half, medium width,” she answered auto-matically before asking, “Why?”

  “We keep spare boots in common sizes for guests. I’m sure we have some in that size. You’ll find them in the tack room,” her father informed her.

  “I’m not really comfortable with English saddles,” Dani said.

  “I imagine we can find you western tack,” Harry replied, indulgently. “Go put on jeans and come riding with us.”

  “I had thought I’d spend time this morning doing research to see what I’d have to do to open my business here and to get my teaching license and driver’s license and car registration transferred, if I decide to stay.”

  “You’ll stay,” Harry said, no doubt in his voice.

  She shrugged. “If I’m going to even think about staying in the area, I need to be able to do my art,” Dani replied. “Many of my commissions come through my website, but I need to see how difficult it will be set up things legally here to pay sales taxes and that sort of thing. I have to know what I would have to do in order to be able to stay. I need the information first, before I can make any decision.”

  * * *


  Harry sighed. He recognized his own stubbornness in the girl. He had to respect her for standing by her guns. Oh, she had an excess of pride. But, he liked the fact she intended to stand on her own two feet.

  “We’d be happy to help you with all the details,” he said.

  “Thanks. But no thanks. This is a decision I need to make on my own.”

  * * *

  Dani met Jase’s eyes. She read only questioning there.

  Jase cleared his throat. “I have a summer job for you in the accounting department at Devlin. It’s entry level, accounting clerk in receivables,” he offered. “But, it’s yours, if you want it. If you take it, you’ll have to have a Virginia driver’s license.”

  Dani felt herself smile, but she knew the expression didn’t reach her eyes. “Why?”

  “Why what?” Jase asked.

  “Why are you offering me a job and why would I need a Virginia driver’s license?” Dani asked, spacing her words for emphasis. She didn’t like the fact she could hear the suspicion and dislike in her voice as she knew they would be hearing it, too. “Yesterday, you were doing everything in your power to discourage me from staying here. Seems an awfully sudden change.”

  “I acted like a jerk,” Jase offered.

  “Putting it rather too mildly,” Dani corrected. “But as you recognize you’ve done this, it must not be your standard behavior, which means I’ve been singled out for the honor. I can’t say I like it. However, I’m willing to entertain an apology.”

  “To entertain, but not to accept?” Jase offered.

  “You don’t want me here. You’ve made that abundantly clear.”

  Jase sighed. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  “You see, that’s just it. I don’t know what an apology from you is worth.”

  Her father said, “Trust me, an apology from him is a rare thing.”

  She looked at her father and smiled at him. “You’re actually very lucky to have people who care about you so much. I hope you realize how truly blessed you are.”

  Harry took his daughter’s hand. “Let us be your family, Dani.”

  “I’m not certain that’s possible. As much as I’d like to have a family, as much as I’ve always wanted a father, I’m just not certain we can make this work.”