by Megan Besing
But she didn’t call out for one of the children. Instead, she halted right in front of him, her skirts swishing behind her with the suddenness of it. “Josiah Abbott.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Is that your real name?”
He cocked his head. “Pardon me?”
“Is Josiah Abbot your given name?”
His stomach plummeted like the teacher had called him to attention for some offense. He leaned against the fence for support. Had she figured it out? “Yes, it is.”
“Then explain this.” She thrust the lilac-colored paper she’d used to write to him in front of his face.
“What is it?”
“A letter I sent to J. M. Griffin, agreeing to be his bride. Strangely enough, it fell out of your pants pocket when I went to sew them.”
There was no use denying it. She knew the truth. He only had to speak the words. Even though he would lose her forever, it was beyond time for the truth. He closed his eyes and puffed out a burst of air. “There’s a logical reason for that.”
“I’m waiting.” She pinched her lips together.
“Nora, I never meant to hurt you. My initials are J. M., and Griffin is my mother’s maiden name. All this mail-order bride business was Wade’s idea. He persuaded me to place an advertisement, too, but I was scared.”
“Of what? A woman?”
“Yes, precisely. I had a fiancée before the war. Susanna. When she learned I lost my leg, she broke off the engagement. What if I married someone and she rejected me as soon as she saw me without my wooden leg? I’d have to annul the marriage. How embarrassing for both of us.”
“But you sent me the train fare. Why do that if you didn’t intend to marry me?”
“Oh, but I did plan to take you as my wife.”
She blinked, her lashes fluttering against her pale cheek. “Then why aren’t we married?”
“I was there that day at the train station. I saw you exit the car.” How did he tell her this? He toed the ground with his good foot, rolling the words around in his head, and then stared straight at her and clasped her hands. “You were, are, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Stunning. From that one glance at your face, I knew you were too good for me. You’d never have me in this condition. When I ran away, I did so to protect both of us from broken hearts.”
“You don’t think my heart was broken when you didn’t claim me?” Color rose in her face, and probably not from the August sun.
“What was I to do?”
She shook her head. “How about give me a chance to make up my own mind? You could have told me. Let me tell you what I thought about your leg. Our marriage.”
“Don’t you think it tore me in two to walk away from you?”
“You left me alone on the train platform. No money. Nowhere to go. Without Wade and Maude’s kindness to me, I would be destitute, without a place to live. When I told you I lost everything in Virginia, I wasn’t exaggerating.”
“I’m so sorry about that. If they hadn’t taken you in, I would have helped you out, at least until you found another husband.”
Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, shimmering in the bright sunlight. “I—I…I don’t even know what to say to that.” A few tears spilled over her eyelids and slid down her cheeks.
He reached out to wipe them away.
She wrenched free of his grasp and backed up two steps. “Please, don’t.”
“If there is anything you need, let me know. It’s the least I can do for you.”
“Do you think giving me money will fix this mess?”
He rubbed his forehead, pain stabbing him behind his eyes. “What am I supposed to do?”
“And what about this?” She held up her wrinkled handkerchief.
His throat tightened. No, she’d found that too?
“Were you also the jester?”
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was you?”
“For two nights, there was beauty for me. The chance to speak to you unfettered by my past. To tell you what was in my heart without having to worry about anything else. A memory for me to tuck away to last me the rest of my life.”
“How could you tell me such a lie?”
Her rapid breathing, her flared nostrils, the tears in her eyes—it was too much for him, and he studied the ground. “Only my identity was a lie.”
She threw the paper at him, the breeze carrying it away as it fluttered to the dirt. “Please, don’t ever speak to me again.”
As she stomped away, his body went cold.
What would he do without her in his life?
Chapter 12
Josiah held his breath until Nora disappeared into the house, the door slamming behind her. He slumped against the fence.
It had all been a dream, anyway. A child’s fairy tale that would never be real. A woman like her could never love a man like him. He slammed the hammer into the dirt, took off his hat, and squeezed his throbbing head.
Wade emerged from the barn and wiped his glistening face with a handkerchief. “Heard a bit of squawking out here, like a mad momma hen. What’s the trouble?”
“Nothing.” Josiah stared at Wade, who stared back. “All right, everything.”
“You got yourself into a bit of trouble?”
“More than a bit. I’d call it a heap.” He sighed. Might as well tell Wade. He’d find out sooner or later. “She knows. Everything. All about the mail-order fiasco, all about the jester.”
“That would explain the noise. She sounded furious.”
“An understatement. I’ve never seen a woman so angry before. And my mammy got pretty angry with me from time to time.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“Do about it? She warned me never to speak to her again, so my only option is to keep my distance. Maybe I can try to find her another mail-order groom. She can’t stay with you forever.”
Wade grimaced. “Much as I would like her to, you’re right, she can’t. A woman like her needs a home and family of her own. But I think you’re it.”
Josiah frowned. “Me?”
“I’ve sat through meals and church services and such with you both. The way she gazes at you, I’d say she’s smitten. And you, I can tell the feeling’s mutual.”
Josiah’s chest squeezed. It would be less painful to lose another limb than to lose Nora. Life without her would be empty. Cold. Lonelier than ever. “But what am I supposed to do? She’s sworn she’ll never have anything to do with me again.”
“She just said that in the heat of the moment. Give her a chance to cool down, to do some thinking. Maybe she’ll take pity on you yet.” Wade gave Josiah a light punch on the arm. “She’s a gem. Don’t let her get away.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. We could never have a future together. Shattering the dream now will keep me from false hope that there could be anything between us.”
“You’re so hung up on that leg of yours. Why not let her decide if that’s something she can live with or not?”
“Because I know what her answer would be.” Josiah circled Wade.
“You don’t know until you ask the question.”
Josiah snapped to attention. Could he gather the courage to talk to her about it? To show her what an empty pant leg looked like?
But what if she rejected him? Well, it couldn’t get worse than it was now. All she could do was walk away. But if she wasn’t bothered by it…
“Give her a few days to calm down, to sort through everything she’s learned. To get used to the idea of you being her mail-order groom. Then talk to her.”
Josiah drew in a deep breath. “It’s not like I could end up in a worse position.”
“That’s the spirit.” Wade chuckled as his three boys scampered by, chasing a barn cat to the cotton fields.
“All right. I’ll do it. I’ll talk to her. Thanks. You’re a wise man.”
A window in the house banged open. “Wade Yates, you get yourse
lf in here right this instant.”
“Maybe in some things. Not in everything.” Like a naughty child, he slunk toward the house.
Josiah picked up the hammer from the ground and got back to work on the fence. Mending his relationship with Nora wouldn’t be as easy as repairing this enclosure.
But if he could explain things to her, if he could make her understand, if she could see past his impediment, then maybe they had a chance to be happy together. To make that life he promised her in his letters.
What an awful lot of ifs.
Nora wrestled with her sheets, tossing and turning in bed until she found the covers twisted around her. It was too hot for them anyway. She threw them aside and slid from the mattress, even though darkness still covered the plantation. The sharecroppers wouldn’t even be up yet.
In her bare feet, her shawl wrapped around her shoulders, she padded to the front door, opened it without a sound, and stepped onto the wide porch. Early morning dew clung to the rosebush beside the steps, the sweet scent hanging on the breeze. She sucked in a deep breath, the air cool and clean.
So, Josiah was both J. M. and the jester. A few days had passed and the idea was taking root in her mind now. How blind could she have been? She should have known. He and Wade were best friends, so it made sense they would have both placed advertisements for mail-order brides. And the jester had the same uneven gait as Josiah. The mask hid his features and muffled his voice, but it didn’t conceal the way he walked.
Why hadn’t she picked up on those clues?
Not that it mattered.
He’d deceived her.
Those days at the military hospital rushed back to her. When Richard was delirious, she spoke to many of the soldiers. They worried what their sweethearts back home would think of them now that they’d lost an arm or a leg. One time, she’d read a letter to a young man from his girl. In it, she broke off their courtship, unable to bear the thought of being married to a man with one arm.
Josiah had mentioned a woman. His fiancée, who’d had the same reaction. How that must have stung.
She leaned against the porch rail and stared across the fields. Against the sunrise-streaked sky, a dark silhouette approached. A horse and rider. Who could be coming at this early hour?
The trot of the stallion gave her the answer.
Josiah.
Her insides danced around. She pressed her middle in a hopeless attempt to stop them. No matter the lies he’d told, there was something about him that sent her to quivering whenever he came around.
She stood without moving as he came near, right up to the steps, and slipped from his horse’s back. Shivering, she pulled her shawl tighter around herself. “I didn’t expect to see you this early.”
“I hoped you might be up.” Huskiness edged his voice. He climbed the stairs and stood beside her, overlooking the fields. “Cotton picking should be finished in the next few days.”
“Wade said it was a good crop this year.”
“Plenty to get by on for the winter.”
A few of the hands emerged from their cabins, probably eager to get as much work done as possible before the heat of the day.
He took her by the shoulders and spun her to face him. “Nora, I am very sorry for what I did to you. Leaving you at the station. The lies. All of it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make it up to you, but I’d sure like to try.”
“That’s a hard thing, Josiah.”
“I don’t expect you to understand why I didn’t tell you the truth. My reasons, which seemed good enough to me, weren’t right. It’s nothing I’m proud of. In the end, instead of protecting you, I hurt you.”
Now her heart joined in the fluttering. “But I think I do understand.” Her words came out in a breathy whisper.
He furrowed his brows. “How can you?”
“What you don’t know is that I spent three weeks at a military hospital in Richmond, tending to my husband before he died. Much of the time, he wasn’t lucid. I spoke with the other soldiers. Those who had lost limbs. I know the pain they endured, both physical and emotional. What you went through was extremely difficult. I spent many hours holding these men’s hands, reading the Bible to them, praying with them. And hearing how the women they loved rejected them.”
His brown eyes widened. “When she broke off our engagement, Susanna shattered my heart. We grew up together. I didn’t know life without her.”
“Is that why you moved to Texas?”
“I had to get as far away from her and the memories as possible.”
She reached out and touched his stubble-covered cheek. “I can only begin to imagine how difficult that was for you. Though you were wrong to lie, I understand why you did it.”
“You do?”
Her breath came in small drafts. “Yes, I do.”
“Can you forgive me?”
“I already have.”
He stepped closer, pulled her to himself, and whispered into her hair. “I love you, Nora Green. You are the only woman in the world for me.”
She nestled into the crook of his arm. “Josiah Abbott, I love you, too.” So full of love, her chest might burst open.
He squeezed her and then released her. “Before we get carried away, I have a question to ask you.”
Could it be? Was he going to propose? Had she forgiven him enough to accept him? “Go ahead.”
He bent over, lifted his pants to reveal his wooden leg, and unfastened the buckles that held it to his stump. The fake leg fell away. He grabbed the porch rail. “Can you bear the sight of this?”
An unbidden tear slid from the corner of her eye. “I cared for men who had just endured amputation. I cleaned their wounds. I smoothed their brows.” She drew her gaze from his leg to his face. “When I look at you, I don’t see a missing leg. I see a whole man. A sweet, caring, able man. One I love with all my heart.” She drew him into an embrace. “One who gave me hope again.”
He kissed her forehead and each of her temples. “Then, Nora Green, there’s only one thing we can do about this.”
“What’s that?” She held her breath.
“We have to get married.”
“Is that a proposal, Mr. Abbott?”
“The way I see it, I already proposed, and you accepted. All we have to do is make it official.”
“Then let’s get married.”
Josiah leaned over and kissed her, like she’d always dreamed the handsome prince kissed Cinderella.
Epilogue
A warm breeze from the open window caressed Nora’s cheek as she waited in the Mileses’ spare room for the wedding ceremony to start. Alice tugged on the skirt of Nora’s dove-gray dress trimmed in red. “Are you getting married?”
Nora squatted to Alice’s eye level, her voluminous skirt billowing. “I am, sweetie. But don’t worry, I’m just going to move down the road to Mr. Josiah’s farm. We’ll still see each other all the time.”
Despite the reassurance, Alice frowned. She leaned over and whispered in Nora’s ear. “Is she gonna have to be my momma now?”
“What is she saying to you?” Maude, dressed all in black, squawked as she sat and fanned herself in the far corner of the room. “How you can just up and leave us like this with a mere three days’ notice? Now I must deal with this pack of wild animals myself. Did you stop to think about me even once? Of course not. I do believe I’m going to swoon.”
Nora didn’t so much as glance in Maude’s direction. With no thunk forthcoming, Maude must have remained upright.
Alice stuck out her bottom lip, and tears glistened in the corners of her eyes like raindrops on the cotton plants. “I don’t want you to go.”
Poor dears. Heaven help them. “I’ll be next door. You can visit me as much as you like.”
Alice’s frown curved upward. “Do you promise?”
“Certainly.”
Maude flipped her fan closed. “After your chores are done, and not a moment before.”
Nora kissed the lit
tle girl’s cheek and whispered back. “I love you, and I’ll speak to your daddy. He’ll let you come whenever you want.”
A knock sounded at the door, and Mrs. Miles peeked inside. “The men are ready. My, oh my, Nora, you are exquisite. Josiah is a very blessed man.”
The three ladies and Alice made their way across the yard to the church. As she stepped into the back room, Nora tingled from the top of her plaited hair to the soles of her satin boots. Josiah stood at the front of the church, Pastor Miles behind him, a book in his hands.
She giggled but not from nerves. Not this time.
With sure, firm steps, she marched to stand beside her groom, his hair slicked back, wearing the same suit as when she’d caught sight of him as she disembarked the train.
Her stomach fluttered. She had to be the most fortunate woman in the world.
Pastor Miles intoned the ceremony. “You two have taken quite the journey to get here. What was supposed to be a marriage of mutual benefit has turned into a union of two hearts in love. God has surely blessed both of you and brought you together in His providence and His timing.”
That He had. From a jilted bride to one in love. From a destitute woman to one overflowing with joy. From forsaken to cherished.
She stared at Josiah, who stared back at her. For a moment, the rest of the world faded away, as if it didn’t exist. Only Josiah. He squeezed her hand and smiled at her. She clung to him, woozy.
Around her, the ceremony continued. “Love each other every day. Don’t take one another for granted. The Lord has given you a special gift from above. Cherish it. Cherish each other.”
The pastor spoke some more, but Nora didn’t hear him until he said, “Nora, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”
“I do.” With all her heart.
“Josiah, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”
