by Lulu Pratt
“So,” she says, and she looks back between Blake and me. “You two are going to show me a good night, right? Take me to a Beverly Hills club, maybe? Maybe then I can meet a rich so and so, and get myself set up?”
I still haven’t told her yet. I keep meaning to, but every time I am about to say it, she barrels forth with a comment about being single, or how she misses me, or how she can’t wait until I am back. I thought Blake was being silly for not telling Ben and Janet sooner. Now I see how hard it is.
But Blake is my rock. He sees that I am struggling and reaches across the table and takes my hand.
“So, Amy,” he says, turning to address her. “Carrie has something she wants to tell you.”
“Oh,” Amy says. “Does it involve a reason why your glass is still full? Chug that drink, and then tell me.”
“Actually,” I begin. I take a deep breath and prepare myself. It is time. “I can’t drink that, Amy. And I haven’t drunk anything all night. Blake has been drinking my half.”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant.” I say it quickly, and I hold Amy’s stare as I do. I want her to know that I am being serious for once, and that this isn’t a joke.
She looks back from me to Blake. Blake is holding my hand, and he lifts it to his mouth and kisses it. I put my hand on his lap and give it a rub.
“You’re pregnant?” She asks.
“That’s right,” I say, with more resolution. “Definitely pregnant. With Blake’s baby, obviously. I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“Oh my God!” Amy screams. She leaps from her chair, runs around the table and pulls me into a massive hug. “I can’t believe it. This is amazing. This is wonderful news!”
She has let go of me just long enough to get the words out. But now that she has, she pulls me into another bone-crunching hug.
“You’re not mad?” I ask.
“Mad? How could I be mad? My best friend is having a baby. Which means I’m going to be an aunt. Which means I’m going to cry.”
And sure enough, tears begin to pour down her cheek. She bats at her eyes, trying to fan them off.
“I’ll let you two talk.” Blake stands and heads to the bathroom.
“Seriously,” Amy says as she calms down. She walks back to her seat, falling into it and letting out a long sigh. “I am so happy for you. My heart hurts.”
“I’m so happy that you are. I was worried that you might not approve.”
I look back to the bathroom door as I do. I don’t want Blake to overhear. Amy is aware of who Blake is, and if anyone is going to have it in for him, it’s going to be her.
“Well, to be honest, if you had told me this before tonight, I probably wouldn’t be so behind it.”
“Yeah?” I ask.
I’m not that surprised. She and Blake have gotten on really well tonight, better than I could have ever hoped. It’s as if he knew he would have to win her over.
“Well, yeah, after what he did.” I look over my shoulder at the still-closed bathroom door. “But he seems like a great guy. He’s handsome, he’s funny and he is obviously a good provider. Like what’s the deal? Are you two getting married or what?”
“Whoa,” I say quickly. “Hold on there. We haven’t discussed that yet.”
“Well, excuse me for thinking that two people having a baby together might be getting married,” she scoffs. “Either way, you mark my words. I know things, and I know people. I’m a hairdresser after all. And you two are going to be together for a while. Longer than that even.”
“You think so?” I ask, unable to suppress my smile.
“I know so. Forever and ever. You heard it here first. Now if you don’t mind.” She leans across the table and picks up the very full vodka-mixed drink that sits in front of me. “Seeing as you can’t have this.”
She takes a big gulp and then another.
I pay her hardly any attention. I look from the still-closed bathroom door to Blake’s empty seat, and I smile a big, goofy and unbridled smile. I don’t want to jinx it, and I have tried not to think of it, but as if Amy’s words have let the cat out of the bag, now I can’t think of anything but. I love Blake. Plain and simple, and I can truly see us spending the rest of our lives together. So much so that I don’t even bother to tell Amy about the pregnancy contract.
I just hope that Blake feels the same way.
Chapter 42
BLAKE
They probably think that I can’t hear them talking, but I can. It isn’t on purpose, either, but it just kind of happened. I finished up in the bathroom, washed my hands and went to open the door, and that’s when I heard them talking.
And it’s not just because I hear them talking that I don’t exit the bathroom. It’s the content of their conversation that has caused me to pause. It’s about me. Well, more specifically, it’s about Carrie and me.
Amy is saying that she thinks Carrie and me are perfect for one another, that we belong together and will be together forever. Not only is she saying it, but she is stating how certain of the fact she is.
And what’s more, Carrie isn’t disagreeing. Even as I strain to listen, I can’t make out what Carrie is saying back. But judging from the way that Amy continues to talk, I guess it to be in the positive.
I have thought for a while now that Carrie might be more than just the woman carrying my child. I have thought for a while now that I am slowly falling in love with her. Now I know her to feel the same way.
I stand by the door for a few minutes more and continue to listen. When I hear that the conversation has changed direction, I take a deep breath and walk back outside.
“What are we talking about?” I say as I enter the dining room. I don’t want them thinking that I overheard. “Anything interesting?”
“Oh, this and that,” Carrie responds. As she does, I see a coy smile spread across her face, and she shares a knowing glance with Amy.
“Hopefully, more of this and less of that,” I reply, sitting myself back beside Carrie.
As I sit down, I reach across and take Carrie’s hand. I kiss the back of it and smile at her. I say nothing, but the way I look at her speaks volumes. She returns the look, too. We are both in love.
“So, let me guess,” Amy sighs. “You’re doing all the work here, Carrie, while Blake puts his feet up for the next six months? He’ll start calling you the Baby Carrier soon.”
Carrie snorts.
I clear my throat. “Actually, Amy, if you must know, I would argue that I’m doing just as much work as Carrie, minus the actual carrying of the baby. In fact, if anything, Carrie is slacking off.”
“Excuse me?” Carrie blusters and frowns. “Who was it that had to drag you to the bookstore to buy all those baby books?”
“I agree,” I say. “But now that we have them, who has read the most?”
“Well, that’s debatable,” Carrie says softly, and she looks away, unwilling to meet my challenge.
I laugh. I know, too well, that I’ve read more than her.
“Oh, baby books!” Amy squeals. “Show me, show me.”
“Why?” I ask. “Planning on joining the fun?”
“Just curious,” Amy replies.
“Okay, one sec,” I get up from the table and hurry into the main bedroom where the majority of the books are stored. I pick up a handful and make my way back to the dining room where I offload them into Amy’s outstretched hands.
“Hmm, What You Need To whatever. And Five Things You Never blah blah. Oh, and of course, The Most Important Thing that is totally common sense. All these books are rather presumptuous, aren’t they?” Amy shakes her head. “They just assume you’re a hopeless case who doesn’t know one end of a baby from the other.”
“Ha, that was Blake before the books,” Carrie says.
“Hey,” I cut in, as I pretend to get angry. “I was pretty sure that the head was located on the top of the baby. And these books just confirm it. Although I’m still not sure which end the diaper goe
s on.”
“Okay, I admit I was wrong,” Amy says. “Clearly Blake is just as committed as you are, Carrie.”
I actually have a surprise for Carrie that I have been waiting to show her. I organized it ages ago but have since kept it a secret. And now, considering the theme of the conversation, I figure it’s a perfect opportunity to show just how seriously I am taking this pregnancy.
“Well,” I begin. “There is one more thing I can do to show you how far I’ve come. And I promise that by the end, even you, Carrie will be forced to admit that I’ve outdone you and outmaneuvered you in every way. You’ll be calling me the Baby Master.”
“What have you done?” Carrie asks. She looks at me curiously, scrunching up her face.
“Follow me.”
I take Carrie by the hand and stand from the table. Amy follows, and I lead the two women up the stairs and down the hallway. There’s a room down at the end of it, located just off the master bedroom. When Carrie first asked about it, I told her it was a storage room. But it isn’t.
I reach the door, pull out my keys and unlock it. Once I hear the lock click, I slowly push the door open and step inside.
“Ta-da!” I say.
I smile in delight as I watch both Carrie’s and Amy’s faces drop in shock.
The room is actually a nursery. I had it turned into one last week while Carrie was at doctors’ appointments and back at her old place getting a few things. She was gone for the day and I took advantage of her absence.
There’s a crib in the middle, with a mobile dangling above it. There are stuffed bears, a stuffed elephant and a stuffed high-five emoji in the crib too. And the walls are yellow, a neutral color. Boy or girl, I can’t wait to be a father, and I hope that this proves it to Carrie.
“Oh my God,” she exclaims as she takes in the room. “I can’t believe it. When did you do this?”
“So, you like it?” I ask. The thought just occurred to me that maybe I should have asked Carrie to help me decorate it, and there is a small chance she might actually be upset.
“Like it? I love it!” She rushes across the room and throws her arms around me.
“So, ladies, does this settle the debate?” I ask with a broad grin.
Amy raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. Carrie kisses me on the cheek.
“I suppose so,” Amy says with reluctance.
“I don’t know what I can do now to catch up to you,” Carrie says, laughing. “Because, yes, you definitely win.”
“All you have to do is have the baby,” I say. “And then we’ll call it even. Deal?”
“Deal.”
The three of us remain in the room for a few more minutes. Carrie continues to hug me, and Amy continues to watch us with a smile on her face.
This whole fathering thing isn’t going to be half bad. And I cannot believe that I get to do it with Carrie.
Chapter 43
BLAKE
It has been a long day. It’s been one of those days where even though the hours pass at a solid pace, there just seems to be too many of them. And indeed, today there was. I started early, getting up at six in the morning. And now, as the clock ticks onto eleven at night, I stroll through the front door, unable to believe how long I have been out.
There has been a problem with one of the productions I’m involved in, and what was meant to be an easy solution, turned out to be more difficult than we thought.
My throat is hoarse from yelling, my eyes are droopy from reading, and I just want to crawl into bed and snuggle up beside Carrie.
It’s thoughts of her that helped get me through the day. Whenever I felt myself about to implode or break down, I just pictured her at home, waiting for me with my unborn child in her womb. It gives me strength and makes the terrible seem bearable.
I creep through the house and into our bedroom, a little too excited to see her. Sure enough, she is in bed already, sound asleep.
I slowly undress, careful not to wake her. As I do, I watch her sleep. She is so beautiful, so perfect. I just cannot believe how lucky I am to have her.
I have been thinking about it all day, and I think it’s time I tell her how I really feel. Sure, I’ve shown her how I feel. I’ve invited her into my home, I’ve introduced her to my friends, and I’ve showered love and attention onto her every time I can. But I haven’t actually said the words. I am going to tell her that I love her.
I was planning on doing it today, when I got home. But that clearly didn’t go to plan. Instead, I’ll do it tomorrow night. I booked a table at a nice restaurant that I know she wants to try. The mood will be perfect, and then, I will tell her everything. And I just hope that she feels the same way.
I slip into bed, snuggling up beside her. I kiss her on the cheeks, and she smiles without waking. I wrap my arms around her and lay my head gently on the pillow.
“I love you,” I whisper.
***
Dinner is going perfectly.
It started with me leaving work early for once, and it continued through to the appetizers we had and the entrees. The place isn’t too crowded either, so the atmosphere is perfect for what I plan to tell her. Really, I can’t imagine how it could have all worked out better.
“You look amazing tonight, by the way. Have I told you that already?”
“This is the third time,” she says, smiling. “But good things happen in threes, so I’m okay with it.”
She does look incredible. Her hair is straight, flowing down her back. She wears a tight black dress that perfectly shows her curves, and she offsets this with a shade of red lipstick that makes me want to lean across the table and kiss her every time I look.
“Well, you do,” I stop myself. “Ah, damn. That’s four. My bad.”
“I’m okay with it,” she says. “And besides, you are only human.”
I’m still trying to decide the right way to tell her how I feel. I don’t want to just tell her that I love her. That’s boring. I want her to feel it, to know that it’s more than just words.
“How’s everything going with the baby?” I ask. “It’s all fine?”
I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. What a silly question. Just because it is so obvious. I may as well wear a sign saying that I have something else on my mind.
“Yeah, it’s all good. Is everything all right?” She frowns at me. “You seem nervous.”
Of course, she has noticed that I’m not myself. I’m not exactly subtle.
“What? Yeah, why would I not be?”
“Well, first of all you keep on repeating yourself. You’ve asked me five times how I’m feeling. You’re also fidgeting. Now come on, tell me. What’s going on?”
I let out a deep sigh. It’s time.
“Carrie, you know how great these past few months have been for me, don’t you?”
“Of course, they’ve been great for me, too.” She smiles at me, and I feel my heart skip.
“One thing that we’ve never really spoken about is my past. I’m not exactly a girlfriend type of guy. In fact, I never even thought I would have a serious partner, and I never thought I would want one. But you have changed that. The last time I had a serious relationship was high school. Back then, I wanted a girlfriend, and back then, I was glad I had one.”
“Blake,” Carrie interrupts me. “Please don’t.”
“Please, Carrie, let me finish this,” I say. I’m not looking at her. If I were, I might see the tears starting to form in her eyes. “She broke my heart. After her, I never thought I would feel real feelings for another girl. But then you came along. Carrie, what I’m trying to say is—”
“Blake. Take me home. Please!”
I look up at Carrie, and my face drops. She is in tears. Literal, flowing tears. For how long or why, I have no idea.
“Carrie, what’s wrong?”
“I just want to go home.” She stands up and walks from the restaurant, leaving me where I am.
I stay seated for a moment, trying to
think of what I have done. The last time Carrie acted like this was on the beach. It suddenly hits me. That night, I was talking about Lyndsey, too. That night, I was telling her about my past, and she acted the exact same way. Only after that, we didn’t speak for a week.
Is she mad that I have an ex? Is she mad that I’m talking about her?
I stand up and hurry from the restaurant. I can see Carrie standing by the car, waiting. As I reach the car, she refuses to look at me. I want to ask her what is wrong, but I don’t know if I should. I hate seeing her upset. It tears me up inside. But more than that, I hate being the cause of it.
I start up the car and begin the drive home. Carrie still refuses to look at me. I decide that I am going to ask her.
Chapter 44
CARRIE
I sit in the car in silence, looking out the window as Blake drives us home. When the car stops in front of the house, I am out the door before Blake even undoes his seatbelt. I really don’t want to talk to him, but I know he is going to want to talk to me.
The night was going so well, too. Everything was perfect. The food was amazing, the restaurant was to die for, and Blake was being so sweet. But then, for some reason he brought up Lyndsey. Again. Why does he keep bringing her up? I don’t want to act this way. I don’t want to be mad or upset at him. But when I hear him talk about her, I break down.
I storm into the bedroom, I quickly take off my clothes and put on my pajamas. I hear Blake’s footsteps coming up the hallway, and I hurry to the bed. If I climb in and close my eyes before he sees me, then maybe he won’t try to talk about what just happened.
With any luck.
I am wrapped up under the blankets when he enters. He pauses at the door, and I keep my eyes closed tight. I can feel him watching me, deciding what he should do.
