by Dee Mann
Half the table glared at her.
"Are you okay, Jilli?" asked Maria.
Recovering her composure, she said quietly, "Yes, I'm fine. I was just taken by surprise. Everyone, please don't all stare at once, but that's Paul, the guy you've been hearing so much about." Then the tone of her voice took on a razor sharp edge as she added, "I don't know who…who she is."
And how can I ever compete with her?
Everyone rushed to say something, but she stopped them. "It doesn't matter who she is. I don't own him. I don't even really know him."
Her friends heard the sadness in her voice.
"Look," Marie said.
They all turned and saw Paul and his companion rise. They certainly seemed to be very friendly as he helped her on with her coat, donned his own jacket, then headed for the door.
The focus returned to Jillian, who was staring down at her drink. An unnatural quiet fell over the group as each considered what they'd just seen and what it might mean for their friend.
9:10 PM
Paul and Priya headed toward the subway station on the corner of the Common at Boylston and Tremont. They said little as they walked side-by-side. Each was trying to digest the way the evening had played out.
As they turned left at Stuart, neither was in a hurry to say goodnight. When they reached the subway, they found themselves lingering at the entrance.
Finally, Priya said, "If you're not in a hurry to get home, would you like to walk off some of those calories we just enjoyed?"
"Sure!"
Both recognized their friendship had become something more that night, although neither really understood yet exactly what that "more" was.
For her part, Priya had never before spoken so intimately with a man. Such conversations had always been reserved for her few female acquaintances, and even then, not to the depths of intimacy she'd reached with Paul tonight.
How did this happen? Am I so desperate for friends that one boozy slip of the tongue made me bare my soul like that? Or…is there something about him I never noticed before, something that just put me at ease? Oh no! Is it more serious than that? Am I starting to fall for him? No, he's not interested in me. But he sure was right about seeing things from a different perspective. Even his questions. It was like he was trying to get me to consider alternatives, not just be supportive like girls usually do.
And he was so attentive. He listened…really listened. No guy ever focused on me that way before…like…like I had his complete attention…like I was the only thing on his mind. Maybe that's was what made me blab so many personal things.
Now I really feel bad about all those comments. The poor guy was red-faced all night. But it was so great to let go for once. I never felt so free before! I never let a man get that close to my center. Why did I do it tonight? I don't know…there was just something about him that made me feel safe. Oh Shiva! Of course! He made me feel safe. And comfortable. Those other guys would have been all over me if I'd been so free, so suggestive with them. Ugghh…that pig Mike especially. He could never understand me the way Paul does. Paul is such a…Oh! Oh dear…
As they ambled along the path, Paul kept stealing sideways glances at Priya.
She hasn't said much since we left the restaurant…but I guess neither have I. Maybe she regrets telling me so much about herself. Man, I can't believe it…no girl's ever opened up like that before…it was freakin' amazing. Who knew women thought about that kind of stuff? And she's a virgin! A freakin' virgin! Man, what a waste of a great body. Ah, crap. Now you're thinking like those jerks she went out with. Shit…she really laid it all out there tonight. It was like…like seeing her naked without taking off her clothes. Man! I can't freakin' get over it.
He was incredibly flattered at her trust, but realized he was also nervous about the responsibility he now felt toward her. Another part was still in shock at the things he'd learned. Then there was that other part, the primal part, which still could not drive from his mind the image of her pleasuring herself.
Strangely, although that image of her excited him, he found it did not really arouse the kind of lust for her he would have expected and he didn't understand why not. There was a time not long ago that just the thought of her smiling at him would start it throbbing. But now…
Oh shit!
He came to an abrupt halt, startled by his epiphany.
Priya turned to see why he stopped and was, herself, startled by the melancholy she saw on his face.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice anxious.
"You've ruined it for me." His eyes drifting up to the cloudless sky. "You've completely ruined it."
Priya was genuinely worried now.
What's he talking about? Our friendship? Our ability to work together?
She walked back two paces to stand right in front of him.
"Paul, please. What's the matter. What have I ruined?"
He lowered his eyes to meet hers. Then, without warning, he threw his arms around her and pulled her into a close embrace. Instinctively her arms encircled his waist and returned the embrace. They stood there for almost a full minute before his arms released her and he stepped back.
"Nothing. Not even a twitch."
Although it would seem to be impossible, he appeared depressed and elated at the same time. "Paul…"
His smile interrupted her. "Come sit for a few minutes."
He led her to a bench a few yards away. Seated next to each other, he rubbed his neck as he thought about what he wanted to say.
"Priya, remember when we were talking earlier, and I told you that men will always fantasize about you, that they generally won't be able to help themselves?"
"I remember."
"Well, watch this, watch my face."
She saw him close his eyes. His face and whole upper body relaxed a bit. He sat that way for about fifteen seconds, then opened his eyes.
"What did you see?" he asked.
"Well, you seemed to relax a little, but other than that, nothing."
"Exactly. Nothing. You've ruined it for me." He sighed. "You know what I was doing? I was sitting there imagining you spread-eagled on a bed in the throes of a tremendous, self-inflicted orgasm."
"Paul!"
"Wait, let me finish."
"Did you see my face flush? No. Did I get a hard-on? No. Did my dick even twitch a bit? No."
She started at his language, but he just smiled again. "Priya, come on. After the stuff you told me tonight, I think we're past being shocked by references to our respective body parts, don't you?"
She laughed a little and nodded. "I guess you're right."
"Something really special happened tonight and I know you felt it, too. Some kind of connection, some bond was formed between us. At first, I thought it might be the beginning of a romance, but then, as we were walking I realized that despite my embarrassment whenever I thought about what you'd said, I wasn't getting turned on by the image.
"Suddenly, I realized that all these years I've been wrong about something. I realized that a man and a woman can be friends, even intimate friends, without the sex thing getting in the way. At least I think that's what's happening here."
Priya looked thoughtful. Paul could tell she was processing what he'd said. Then her face changed, not much, but enough for him to wonder what had entered her mind.
"Stand up," she said, taking his hand and pulling him off the bench as she rose. She stood so close he could feel the heat from her body.
"Just so we don't spend our whole lives wondering…" Priya threw her arms around his neck, leaned into him and kissed him, really kissed him as few women had ever done before.
When she was done, she pulled away and said, "You're right. Nothing." She plopped back down on the bench. "So how does this work?"
"Hell, I don't know. I guess we'll figure it out as we go along."
They considered the possibilities, oblivious to others walking by.
Finally, Priya broke the silence. "Wel
l, since I pretty much told you all the intimate details of my life, how about you sharing some of yours?"
"I guess that's fair. What would you like to know?"
"Hmmm, I suppose we should start with some basic stuff. What do you call your, ah, you know?"
She felt herself blushing and was glad he wouldn't be able to notice in the dim light.
"My, what?"
"Your thing."
"My thing? What thing? My index finger? My navel?"
"You know what I mean."
"Maybe. But I like to hear women talk dirty, so if you want to know, you have to say it."
Priya smacked him lightly on the arm.
"Your penis. What do you call your penis."
Laughing, Paul said, "Darn, I was hoping you'd use one of the more earthy euphemisms. I call it Mr. Johnson."
"Hello Mr. Johnson," she said brightly, waving at Paul's lap. "So tell me more."
Paul didn't respond immediately. Again, he rubbed his neck as he thought. Then he sat up straight and caught her eyes. "You know how yesterday, when I met Jillian in the coffee shop for the first time, I told you I felt like something clicked between us?"
Priya nodded.
"Well, ever since then, I've had this feeling my life is changing direction. At first, I thought it was because I met a new girl, you know? And certainly that's part of it because I've never felt this way about anyone before, despite not really knowing her. But it's like I do. At lunch yesterday, after the initial awkwardness, we were like old friends. The conversation came naturally for both of us. I seemed to understand her, to know the exact right thing to say, which was really weird given how tongue-tied I was a few hours earlier. And she could almost read me, too. I tell you, Pri, it scares me a little."
She put her hand on his shoulder. "What is it you're scared of?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's the intensity of it all." He shook his head. "But that can't be it. I've had pretty intense relationships before." His frustration was clear. "I know something is different this time. I just don't know what."
"Maybe it's a control thing."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you've always struck me as a take-charge kind of guy. But now you're facing this new relationship and it's coming too easy, as if someone or something was making it all happen. Maybe you're scared of not really having control over where all this is headed."
Paul thought about it for a minute, then grunted. "I should have thought of that. You may be right. But it occurs to me that it's even more than this new thing with Jillian. I think this new thing with us is part of it, too. My life really is changing, I guess."
They sat and talked for bit longer before deciding to walk again. Paul told her more about himself, about his family and past girlfriends, his passions and goals, answering her questions with a casual frankness that surprised him. Time flew by, and as they strolled, sharing more and more about themselves they further cemented the growing bond between them until, realizing it was getting late, they steered themselves toward the entrance to the subway.
"Too bad our names aren't Harry and Sally," Priya said. "They were best friends in that movie without the sex getting in the way."
"For a while. But if you recall, they wound up in bed, split up, then ended up falling in love when they realized they didn't want anyone but each other."
"That's right. And you do have Jillian."
"I don't know about that yet. We haven't even gone out on a real date yet."
"I think deep down you do know. I think that may be part of what's scaring you." She grinned and bumped him with her shoulder. "And why Mr. Johnson isn't interested in me."
Paul bumped her back.
It certainly would explain a lot of things.
"Priya, I, umm, I wanted to say thank you for tonight. I've never before had a woman trust me and confide in me the way you did tonight. And I've never really had a girl I could talk to like this, where I could say anything without having to worry how she'd take it or think I was coming on to her.
"This…I don't know what to call it…this thing of ours means a lot to me. In a different way it means as much to me as my new thing with Jillian."
Priya closed her eyes as a sudden rush of warmth filled her. Her life, too, was changing, and she knew Paul would play a role in that change. A part of her had been worried all night that she'd made a mistake opening up to him, but her fears were gone now. "It means a lot to me, too."
More than you know. More than you'll ever know.
They strolled in silence again, each contemplating what such a friendship would mean in their futures.
For Paul, it meant having someone who could help him understand women in a way he would never have been able to accomplish on his own. It meant having someone who was like a sister, but more than a sister.
For Priya, it meant having someone to whom she could honestly and openly reveal herself without fear of her words being misconstrued or parsed for hidden meanings; someone to whom she could confide the embarrassing thoughts and feelings, who she could allow to see her inner warts and flaws without worry that they'd be used against her.
As they neared the station, guilt nagged at her.
A lie is not a good way to begin a friendship. But I really had no choice. And he'll never find out.
Paul took Priya's hand and led her past the station to the curb.
"It's too late for you to be riding the subway," he said as he hailed a taxi. "And it's still my treat."
He opened the door and helped her inside. She smiled and thanked him and told him she'd see him tomorrow at work.
After paying the driver, he started to close the door, then stopped, leaned his head inside and said quietly with a salacious grin, "Since we've been so honest with each other tonight it's only fair you know that just because we're tight now, and just because I might have a new girlfriend, doesn't mean I've given up on my dream of seeing you naked."
He laughed as he pulled his head back and slammed the door before she could respond.
Priya laughed too, but as the taxi pulled out into traffic she started wondering if one day, perhaps on his birthday, she might have a bit of fun and surprise him with a gift he would never, ever forget.
11:05 PM
Lisa wiggled her toes. She and Rob were again sitting on the sofa, their feet resting on the coffee table. They'd talked for well over two hours, talked as they never had before, sharing hopes and dreams, fears and regrets, and setting the foundation for the relationship and the future they hoped to build together.
Then they made love, sweet, tender, passionate love, right there on the sofa. Now they sat naked, huddled under a comforter, still savoring the recent passion.
"This is nice," he said, rubbing his shoulder against hers.
"Yes, it is."
He moved a foot and started ticking the soles of her feet with his big toe.
"Stop that!" she shrieked, laughing.
"Why should I?"
His toes chased her feet around the table until she pulled them back and planted them on the floor.
He gave her a look of mock contempt. "You think that will save you?" In seconds, his toes were trying to wiggle under her feet.
Laughter filled the room as she counterattacked, tickling his kneecap and the area behind it until he ceased his attack and called a truce.
Eyes closed, Rob's head resting atop hers, they cuddled as they caught their breath, savoring the closeness and intimacy they both had missed.
"You know you never answered my question earlier." His voice had become serious. "I poured out my soul to you in words and in writing and then we came back here and all you wanted to do is jump my bones."
"How could I help myself, being, as I was, in the presence of a love god? But what question didn't I answer?"
"If you recall, at some point I told you that I never understood what it is you see in me."
"You did. But that was a statement, not a question." Her bright, challenging grin d
ared him to disagree.
"Sure, get all technical with me." He kissed her hair, then continued more sedately. "Seriously, Lisa, I want to know."
"You really want to know what I see in you?"
"Yes, of course."
She snuggled closer.
"Do you remember earlier, in the Gardens, when you were describing me, telling me why I could have any guy I wanted?"
He nodded.
"You said I was smart, and decent, and funny."
"And some other things."
"That's right, you said I was many things, but you never said I was pretty."
Rob was confused. "But you are. You're gorgeous."
"I know that, fool. But when you were listing all my good qualities, it didn't occur to you to mention that."
Rob was more confused. "Are you saying you like me because I didn't tell you you're pretty?"
She chuckled. "Sort of. I like that how I look has never been a big deal to you.
"If you contacted all the guys I dated before I met you and asked each of them to describe me, every one would start out with ‘she's hot' or ‘she's gorgeous' or, in the case of a couple of them, ‘she has a great body.' Then they might throw in a few other things so you wouldn't think they were shallow.
"When I met you, I'd just broken up with this guy Lenny. I told you about him."
Rob nodded.
"All he could ever talk about was how great I looked. Whenever he introduced me to someone, he always referred to me as his 'Playmate girlfriend Lisa' and people assumed there was nothing else to me. One jerk even asked what issue I was in so he could get a copy. It didn't matter who I was, what I did, or anything else. It made me feel empty, shallow, and alone. Lenny had set the tone for their thoughts about me and that was that. And that was why I showed him the door after two weeks.
"Not everyone was as bad as that, of course, but I'd had my fill of guys with pretty faces and no character or great bods but no brains. I wasn't interested in vain, self-absorbed guys anymore. I wanted substance. And I found that with you.
"Looks fade, Rob. People may think I'm pretty now, but ten years from now, when the wrinkles begin and my boobs start to droop are you going to care?"
