Charlie was only in the next room, and I didn’t make an effort to lower my voice, so I’m fairly certain he heard me. And if he did, I wondered if he thought there was any truth to my last statement. Hell, I wondered myself if there was any truth to my last statement.
“Charlie, dear.” My mom called into the living room. “Come join us in the kitchen.”
“Mom!” I whined under my breath.
“Yes, ma’am?” He popped his little charming southern smile around the doorway. “Did you call me?”
Of course she called you. Stop trying to butter up my mom.
“I seemed to have made too much lasagna for just the two of us, and Hannah here never eats left overs. You seem like a boy who can eat a lot.” She giggled. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?”
I could have screamed. Why was she doing this to me after I blatantly told her I didn’t want him here?
“I wouldn’t want to impose, ma’am.” And then he flashed a dry, sarcastic, knowing smile at me. “Hannah has to spend every day with me. I’m sure she’d like a little break tonight.”
“Nonsense.” My mom tossed her hands in the air. “You’re staying. Here, take a seat.”
Charlie winked at me, knowing that he won, and I hated him for it. Of course, it was also ridiculously endearing.
He really was a jerk.
Mom pelted him with all kinds of questions from his childhood to his Army career and even to his love life.
“Mom.” I cautioned, suggesting that it wasn’t an appropriate conversation for us to be having at the dinner table.
“It’s okay.” Charlie’s hand grazed mine, and I felt my insides soar. “I have nothing to hide.”
Don’t do it, Charlie.
I prayed he could read my mind.
“I’ve been seeing this girl, for… well, not too long…” He pretended he had to think of the story. “She’s not too bad to hang around, but I doubt it will work out in the long run.”
I jumped in. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” I raised my eyebrows, letting him know two could play at this game.
“Because that’s just the way of things. They never work out.” He casually shrugged at me, but I could see he was trying to hide that there was more to that statement.
“Nonsense.” Mom waved her hands. “You have to be more optimistic when it comes to love. If you never take a chance, you could miss out on something really wonderful.
When did she become a love guru?
“Maybe.” He answered, obviously trying to appease her.
“How did you and this girl meet?” Mom was really getting into it now.
Charlie’s face began to glow. “Um…” he stalled. “I actually saved her from drowning.”
I almost jumped up in protest. I was not drowning. I was wearing heavy boots and I might have been struggling, but I certainly wasn’t drowning.
“A hero on and off duty, huh?” Mom had completely turned to face him now. “You know, Hannah isn’t that good of a swimmer either. She’s actually been afraid of water her entire life.”
His attention turned fully to me. “I didn’t know that.”
“Mom,” I stood from the table. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
I didn’t wait for her reply. I simply left the room.
“Oh my God, are you trying to set me up with him?” I swung around when I felt her presence behind me.
“Oh dear, no. Not at all.” She seemed utterly surprised at my accusation.
“Then what is this? Dinner, small talk, my childhood fears?” I tried to keep my voice down, but I was fuming.
“He’s a nice boy who seemed lonely. Hannah, you can’t jump down my throat for trying to be a nice person.” She turned around, heading back to the kitchen.
But I wasn’t falling for her ‘nice person’ excuse. “I love you, Ma, but you always have an ulterior motive.”
With a quick glance back, she winked at me.
“I hope you like Tiramisu, Charlie!” She exclaimed as she stepped back into the kitchen.
Not cool, Mom. Not cool.
Chapter Fifteen
Charlie
I woke up with a start, unsure of where I was. My surroundings were unfamiliar. I searched the room trying to find…
Her huge almond eyes were staring at me.
“Fuck Hannah, you scared me.” I took a breath as I realized what had happened. I must have fallen asleep at Hannah’s place. I hadn’t expected to. I thought we’d just throw each other around for a bit and then I’d bid her adieu until the morning, but I guess my body had a different plan; I was exhausted.
“I really didn’t mean to. You were sleeping so peacefully.” Her voice was calm, soothing.
“Well, now I’m not. What’s up?” I pushed up to a seated position, cracking my neck in both directions.
“Nothing.” She smiled, but her tone was laced with doubt.
“Hey.” I placed my hand on hers. “Talk to me.”
Even in the darkness, I could see the tears sting her eyes. After a breath of doubt, she asked me if I knew anything about her being accepted into the program, to which I flatly told her I knew most everything about what happened at the base. We then talked pretty in depth about her father, and how for the last six years, she felt as though everything was handed to her because he had died.
“But I don’t deserve it. Any of it. And I definitely don’t deserve one of only thirty spots in the Special Forces training. How many women applied?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, afraid to give her the answer, but knowing she’d eventually be able to get it out of me. “We received a few thousand applications.”
“And how many were already in the military?” She hugged her knees tighter to her chest.
“I’d say close to seventy-five percent.” I shrugged, knowing it was not the answer she wanted.
Her eyes closed, allowing a single tear to skim down her cheek. “I see the way the other women in the program look at me. They hate me. And they have every right to hate me. They worked so hard to prove themselves, and all I did was have a famous father.”
“Hey. Hey.” I touched her leg, and then her shoulder, and with each graze of her body, she began to cry harder, until I scooped her up in my arms and held her tight to my chest, allowing my lips to brush against her ear as I whispered. “Do not think for a second that you are not worthy. You are strong, you are a leader, and most importantly, you don’t give up. That is exactly who we looked for in the candidates.” She looked at me, begging for the reassurance that I was completely willing to give. “Sure, Hannah, your father was a great man, and sure it was the General who first brought you to our attention, but those things only added to your already glowing resume, and you have done nothing but prove to me over the last week that you are meant to be here. You deserve this, Hannah. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Her tear-soaked puppy dog eyes blinked up at me, begging for some sort of shred of acceptance that I had yet to give her. And I could have said more. I could have told her how proud I was of her, and how much I respected her as both a woman and a coworker, but the only way I knew how to do either of those things was to kiss her.
I felt her in that kiss: all of her. It was as if she was mine and I was hers, and everything was finally falling into place. I traced my fingers along the lines of her face, wanting nothing more than to see her. I pushed my thumbs into her cheeks while I stared deeply into her eyes, intermittingly kissing her still-pouting lips. How could I feel so much desire, hope, pride, and love for a woman I had only known for a week?
The passion was enough to scare me away, but it could also be just enough to make me stay.
Gently, I peeled her shirt from her body, exposing her nakedness. My hands danced around her soft, warm skin, craving more and more, until I finally lowered her down onto her back, and slowly slid into her warmth. It was gentle, controlled, and, --unlike any other sexual experience I had in the past-—it was about nothing more than the connection. We we
re making love: proving to each other that our bodies, our hearts, and our souls were meant to be one.
I kissed her lips and deeply stared into her slightly puffy eyes. She was radiant, beautiful, and nothing short of a dream. I knew she was hurting, and I truly cared. I wanted to heal her, to make her feel whole. I wanted to be the reason she felt right with the world.
A small smile appeared on her face as she deliberately looked up at me, and I couldn’t help but mirror her expression. This woman made me happy.
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted that. In my line of work, you tend to think your brothers are everything, the only people you need on this entire earth. But once you’ve had the touch of a woman who makes you see a different kind of life ahead, you begin to wonder if you’ve been missing out on something purely magical.
My fingers traced her face, landing on her slightly open lips before I whispered, “Are you on the pill?” I understood it wasn’t romantic, or at all what I wanted to talk about in the heat of the moment, but it needed to be addressed.
“I am.” She nodded back to me, with knowing eyes.
I kissed her yet again before I picked up my pace. We moaned, we cried, and with a final thrust, I emptied into her. We stayed that way, as one, just holding each other for what seemed like forever. When I finally pulled out, she flipped around, allowing me to cuddle her. I was the big spoon, and she the little.
Her breathing began to deepen, hinting that she had fallen asleep in my arms. I pulled her closer, kissed her shoulder, and then whispered.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, dear Hannah.”
It felt right to say out loud. I had been holding it in too long.
Chapter Sixteen
Hannah
The next time I opened my eyes, it was four thirty in the morning. Charlie still had his arms tightly wrapped around my chest, but I managed to slip from his grip rather quickly, without causing him to stir. Standing above him, I looked down at his strong, massive body, taking up most of my average-sized bed. My lips instinctually lifted into a smile, which I wiped away with the back of my hand before turning to head into the bathroom.
I set up the coffee maker so all he had to do was push a single button, and I left him a note, signed with a little heart. It felt weird and childish, but then again, kind of appropriate. I didn’t want him to think I was sneaking out without waking him up because I felt awkward, even though that’s exactly what I was doing.
I wanted him to think everything was fine, and I didn’t hear what he said to me before we both fell asleep.
At 4:59, I jumped into the pool. Amanda was there, as she was every morning. We exchanged a few words of chitchat between laps, but nothing of any length or substance. We both had a job to do, and a reason to prove ourselves. Plus, although she had always been cordial since the day we met, I didn’t want to rock the boat by letting people believe we were friends. As I had told Charlie early that morning, the other girls didn’t much care for me. And I could completely understand why: not only had they worked their asses off to get into the program, they had friends who had done the same thing but were not accepted, and had it not been for me, and my father’s reputation, they could’ve had a chance at my spot. Although I loved the few seconds of exchanged friendship Amanda offered me, I wouldn’t wish the same looks I got from those girls on anyone. It was better that Amanda just steer clear.
Not to mention, I was afraid that anything she said about Charlie would make me blush and I would ultimately give our little secret love affair away.
“You can practice all you want, but you’ll never make it through the program. You don’t understand what it takes.” One of the more seasoned girls shot at me as I pulled myself from the pool.
While most of them just gave me dirty looks, there had been a small group that had taken to verbally attacking me the over last few days. It was fine, nothing I couldn’t handle, but I was getting a little tired of it. I had to take a breath and calm myself down so I wouldn’t lash out. I needed to be better than that.
“What? You have nothing to say to that today? Is it because you know we’re right?” The black-haired one followed close behind me.
“I just find it sad.” I looked back at her solemnly. “We should be on the same team here. We’re trying to prove to the men that women deserve to be in the Special Forces. We should be rooting for all of our sisters to succeed.”
I shrugged and smiled before turning back toward the locker room.
“Except that they only planted you here to make us fail.” She jumped right back in, not missing a beat.
“Maybe they did.” I accepted, although I had never actually thought about that. I truly hoped that wasn’t the case. “But now, think of how big of a deal it would be if I make it through. Their argument would have no backing.”
I tried so hard to keep myself calm and composed, but I could feel myself waning. I was tired, stressed, feeling strange about how I left things with Charlie this morning, and I wanted to fight. I wanted someone to throw a punch so I had a reason to attack.
And that’s exactly what happened, except the punch wasn’t physical.
“I don’t understand why you’re getting so much attention. It’s not like your dead father was anything special.” I spun around toward the meek voice I had just heard. It belonged to the smallest of the bunch. And not only was she slight, but she was blonde. I could definitely take a blonde.
“Take it back.” I stepped toward her, ready to swing.
“No.” She proudly shook her head.
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I balled my hand up in a fist and cocked my elbow back, but before I had a chance to throw, I was blindsided.
The one of the group that had remained quiet, tackled me from the side. Before I knew it, my back was on the rough concrete ground and all four girls were positioned above me. The slight one jammed her knee into my stomach as the seasoned one held my shoulders down. I tried to wriggle from their grip, but I was no match for their combined strength. I watched as the dark haired one straddled my chest and then crashed her knuckles into my cheek.
It stung… badly, but I didn’t let them see it. I took three more punches just like that one before I managed to get a hand free to reach up and grab her by the throat. She choked at my grip, and the punching ceased. Her friends tried to pull my fingers off of her neck, but my fight response had already been activated. No one could touch me. The other girls let go of their hold on me, allowing me to find my way to my knees, my hand still wrapped around the dark haired one’s larynx.
The slight one jumped on my back, wrapping her arm around my neck in a chokehold, while the other two continued to pull at me.
What were we doing? Were we planning on killing each other? Because in the moment, it seemed like the only way our little party would end was if one of us ended up unconscious.
And so I pulled away, lifting my arms in the air. “Stop!” I screamed, though breathless from the still-held chokehold.
But the slight blonde was a fighter, and she wasn’t about to give up. I whirled around while trying to force my chin down, protecting my air supply. I started to become dizzy, though, as her grip became tighter. I dropped down to my hands and knees, scraping up my shins on the concrete. I could tell it stung, but the pain was muted compared to the shock my body was going into without breath. The room began to blacken, and then lighten back up, but then blacken again. I was about to pass out, and I knew it, so I quickly found my way down to my chest, flattening out my body so I wouldn’t be too hurt from any fall. Then, I prepared for the blackness.
During my deepening daze I heard his voice, and it seemed to pull me back, ever so slightly. The weight of the blonde was gone, and all of a sudden, I was in the air. Sounds became clearer, words were being said, I smelled the pungent chlorine, I could feel the water on my chilled body, and then I blinked open to see his worried face looking down on me.
“Hannah. Hannah. Can you hear me?�
�� He cried out, louder than he needed to be.
I tried to respond, but my voice felt strained, crackled. I tried to cough, but it hurt. I tried to swallow, but my throat felt blocked.
“Hannah?” I felt my eyes closing. I was tired… or clammy… or dizzy… “No. No.” He looked so concerned. “Hannah. Stay with me.”
But I couldn’t.
I guess it really did end with one of us unconscious.
Chapter Seventeen
Charlie
Had she been responsive, I might not have been too worried, as with one eye turning black and blue and the other being crowded by her ever-swelling cheek, I didn’t expect her to be able to keep her focus on me. But she wasn’t talking, and that was troublesome.
When I rushed in at the sound of her muted scream echoing through the pool area, one of the girls (whose name I should remember, as she was on my list of indiscretions) was riding her, piggy-backed, and had her wrapped in a tight chokehold. I had no idea what had started the little riff, but I knew I had to stop it. Hannah wasn’t going to be able to get out of there without help.
Embrace The Suck (A Stepbrother Special Forces Novel) Page 6
