“When did he…” I whispered to no one as I grabbed the small note sitting at the edge of the bed.
Still happy with your choice, Hannah?
Oh God, he must have just been here. And I was right. It was far from over.
So I did the only thing that made sense in that moment.
I picked up my phone, and I dialed Charlie’s number.
Chapter Fourteen
Charlie
I was at a bar a few miles from base when I received her call. It wasn’t the same bar where I had met Hannah for the first time. No, I refused to go back there until she came home to me. Right now, it was too hard. So when a group of my guys suggested that I needed a drink, I happily directed them to a bar on the other side of town so there was absolutely no possibility that we would somehow end up at our favorite watering hole.
We were deep in a debate regarding the constitutionality of full body scanners at airports when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I almost didn’t check it; thinking that anyone calling me on my regular phone would be fine waiting until I got home from my night out with the guys, but something made me take a peek anyway.
And when I saw her name pop up on the screen, I was happy I did.
“Excuse me for a second, guys.” I stood from the stool and went to move toward the doorway.
“Okay,” one of the guys called out to me, “but when you get back, you better be able to defend why you think some random security guard should be able to check out your junk in the name of national security.”
“Belmer,” I quickly answered back, while pointing to my crotch, “you know I have no problem showing this beauty to anyone who wants to see it.”
They all groaned at me while I laughed, but I made sure to escape outside before my phone sent Hannah to voicemail. I took a breath before answering. It would be so good to hear her voice.
“Hannah?” I answered. “What’s up?”
She sounded almost too relieved. “Charlie.” But then she stopped talking.
I felt my heart drop. “Is everything okay?”
Please say ‘yes’. Please say ‘yes’.
“Um, yah.” She finally sighed back into the phone. “I don’t even know why I called.” She nervously giggled.
“That’s okay. You know you can call me whenever you’d like. You don’t need a reason.” Wow, I sounded awesomely pathetic, and as if I had no life.
“Right. Thank you.” But there was a reservation to her voice, to her words. She wasn’t telling me something.
“Okay, spill. What’s going on? Is it the training? Is it too much?”
“No, no.” She quickly shot that speculation down. “The training is fine.” She chuckled to herself. “Fucking hard. But fine.”
“Then what is it?” I egged. “I know you’re not calling me to shoot the breeze.”
She hummed a little before continuing. “I think I’m scared of someone.”
And there it was. My dad had warned me about that dickhead doctor. And I was going to take action. I was going to go up there to protect her from him. But I didn’t. And now she was scared. I could have stopped this before it even started. Why the hell didn’t I trust myself?
“Do you want to talk about it?” I tried to seem calm on the phone, as I rushed inside, threw down some cash, and mouthed to the guys that I had to jet.
They mutedly fought back, but there wasn’t much fight in them left after they saw the worry on my face. They told me to call if I needed anything, and I promised I’d do just that.
I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting into, but hell, I might need some recruits if this went really sour.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Hannah’s voice cracked. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
I knew exactly why she didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to tell me that she was still dating the doctor, and she especially didn’t want me to remind her that I had specifically told her to get rid of that meathead at the first encounter. But I wasn’t about to do that. She didn’t need someone to tell her ‘I told you so’. She needed a friend. She needed a protector.
“I’m going to come up there.” I decidedly said as I climbed into my truck.
“Oh, no,” she scrapped, “that’s not necessary.”
“I don’t need you to try to make this easy for me, Hannah. You’re scared, and just listening to my voice isn’t going to stop that feeling. I will feel better if I’m by you, and if this turns out to be something completely unnecessary, then I’ll pack up and go home. Does that work for you?”
I gave her a second to think my proposal through. I’m sure she was questioning why I hadn’t asked the source of her fear, or why I was so willing to drop everything at the drop of a hat to go protect her from something that could be as silly as a rabid raccoon outside her door, but she didn’t ask, and I didn’t offer up the answer.
I told her to sit tight, try to get some sleep, and as soon as I cleared it with the boss man, I’d make my way up to her side.
“I’ll see you tonight, okay?” I soothed.
“Okay.” She agreed, a lilt of happiness sneaking into her voice. “And Charlie?”
“Yes?” I didn’t hang up just yet.
“Thank you,” she said in the most humble of tones.
I knew she was frightened, and I knew I was seething at the man who made her feel that way, but in the moment, I was on cloud nine. She had called me; she had asked for my help, my comfort. And I was available and wanting to give it to her.
It was simply perfect.
I raced to my father’s house, prepared to give him the run down of why I needed to work from Bragg for the remainder of the training. Luckily, I knew he wanted to protect Hannah almost as much as I did, so I would have no problem convincing him.
“Absolutely not.” He didn’t move from his spot at the kitchen table.
“But!” I felt like an eight year old whining that he wasn’t allowed an extra scoop of ice cream.
“I need you here.” He calmly countered.
“But Hannah called me.” I argued, as if that would do anything.
“And she’s a big girl. She can handle herself.” He looked directly at me.
“What does it even matter? It’s two more weeks.” I was flabbergasted that he wasn’t giving in.
Finally, he turned to face me completely, putting his folded hands in his lap. “Why do you want to run to her, Charlie?”
“Because… Because…” I started before having a good reason.
“You can say it.” He shrugged. “You’re in love with her.”
I fiddled with my fingers, not wanting to admit his accuracy.
“This isn’t about that.” I tried to prove my point. “She feels endangered and asked for my help. How could I deny her that sense of security?”
“Charlie,” he pushed out the chair next to him, asking for me to sit. “If this were any other situation, you know I’d approve the transfer. And of course I’m worried about her safety, but more so, I’m worried about your sanity.”
I leaned against the back of the chair, not wanting to succumb to him and merely sit. “I’m fine, Pops.”
But deep down, I knew he had a point: an excellent point. I had been unfocused and unmotivated ever since I admitted my feelings for Hannah to myself. I thought of nothing but her, and I wanted to do nothing without her. Dropping everything at her beck and call would even more so prove that fact.
So I sat down. I had to reason with him.
“Okay, so maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m foolishly obsessed with a girl who I know all too well I can never have. And it’s unhealthy and scary and stupid, but there’s nothing I can do to change that right now. I’m not getting over her any time soon. And if you don’t approve this transfer there are two possibilities. The first is that I’ll mope around, extremely worried and feeling helpless until my head explodes. The second is that I’ll disobey you and run to her, convincing myself that I’ve put enough years into the military an
d I don’t need this life anymore.”
I sat back, allowing those ideas to percolate in his head for a second or two. “So Pops,” I widened my eyes at him. “Which of those two paths do you think I’m more likely to take?”
I could see it in his eyes, his face, and his body language: I had won. He knew it was a losing battle, and to keep going would be silly. There was no fighting me. There was no fighting love.
“I’m not going to have you do no work while you’re there.” He conceded forcefully and in his own way.
“I didn’t expect you to.” I allowed, knowing full well it was time for me to accept the punishment I should incur for fighting him.
“Bradley is up there as one of the acting team members. You can relieve him and take his place.” He nodded; he was too proud of himself.
“But-.” I almost started, about to use my leg as an excuse, but I quickly stopped myself.
Being a fake team member was the worst. It meant that I had to role around in the mud with the trainees, keeping an eye out for any mistakes, but also being someone to look to for direction if anything confusing came up. It also meant that if there were anyone being trained as a medical sergeant, I would most likely have to be “hit” so that the 18D could “save” me. I found the whole role-play to be monotonous. It was usually reserved for newbies still trying to secure a spot in the good graces of their superiors. Or, in this case, it was a form of punishment for those who act out against their fathers.
But it got me to Ft. Bragg, and it got me to Hannah’s side. I had no argument left in me. I had gotten what I wanted.
Plus, it had been quite a turn on the last time Hannah had to save me. It might be even better if this time I don’t have a bone sticking out of my leg.
Optimism.
“Thanks Pops.” I stood, patted him on the back, and made my way toward the front door. “Oh, and…” I called back to him. “I’m taking the chopper.”
I laughed to myself as I heard him try to argue, but I had already closed the front door behind me. I mean, what did he expect? Time was precious, and there was no way I was going to drive all the way from Fort Benning to Fort Bragg.
Four hundred and eighty miles is much more doable when a chopper is involved.
Chapter Fifteen
Hannah
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even try to sleep. For one, I had a sinking fear that Danny would show up at any second, and for two, I knew I was about to see Charlie. It was a crazy combination of both fear and excitement, and in no universe would I be able to sleep with all of that going on. So instead, I paced. I tried to read and I tried to write, but my mind kept wandering. I did some push ups, a few sit ups, a handful of planks, and even five sets of ten burpees, but my mind was still racing.
It had taken Amanda and I about seven hours to drive from Benning to Bragg, so I didn’t expect Charlie to show up at the door any time soon. Even at his quickest, he was still looking at a five and a half hour trip. I couldn’t just pace around the room for five and a half hours. I tried to lay down and close my eyes, telling myself that the sooner I fell asleep, the sooner Charlie would be by my side, but it didn’t help. I was too scared of opening my eyes and seeing Danny in the darkness again.
I just… couldn’t.
So three hours after I called Charlie, when I saw headlights in the driveway, my body turned into a pile of goose bumps. Could it really be Danny already, this soon after his threat? Was he so determined to paralyze me with fear that he would waste no time planning his next attack? I looked around the room at all the places I could hide. There wasn’t much: two closets, under the bed, under the desk, behind the curtain… No. It was all too silly. If I hid, he would find me. I couldn’t be passive.
I peeked out of the window, hoping he wouldn’t look directly at me as he climbed out of his…
Wait, that wasn’t Danny’s car… It was a truck I had never seen before.
And out of the truck, stepped Charlie. Even in the darkness, I couldn’t misread his shape. There was no doubt that the figure in the driveway was my big, strong, Charlie.
I ran from the room and to the front door, swinging the screen out in front of me, and hopping onto the porch and into his arms.
“You’re here.” I cried as he caught me. “How… did you get here so fast?”
I don’t even know why I asked the question. I didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to me was that I was in his arms, and for the first time in the past few weeks, everything felt right and good and comfortable and safe.
“I took the chopper.” He whispered in my ear, refusing to let me loose from his tight clutch. “I didn’t want to be away from you a second longer than I had to.”
I felt the tears stream down my face as I next asked him why he hadn’t come sooner. He explained that he was trying to give me the space I so obviously wanted. Although it killed him, he was trying to respect my wishes.
“But had I known you wanted me here, I never would have left your side.” He lifted my chin, looking into my eyes.
I swooned, seeing the moon reflecting in his. “Okay, but if I ever do something stupid like that again,” I warned. “Ignore me.”
He shook his head. “No, Hannah. I’m not going to do something that’s against your better judgment. No matter how much I might want to.”
I laughed to myself, finally understanding the difference between him and Danny. Danny thought he knew better than I, and I hated him for it, while Charlie was trying to do as I asked, and I hated him for it.
Maybe I just needed to communicate better… or learn to give in to what I truly wanted.
“I appreciate that.” I nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. “But, maybe…” I offered, “Next time try a little harder to fight me.” I flashed a giant, flirty smile at him.
He chuckled as he pulled me into his chest in the middle of the foyer. “Be careful what you wish for, my dear.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a second too long. It was obvious we wanted to kiss, but considering how things had been between us the last few weeks, neither of us knew how to proceed. It was like we were stuck in this limbo of wanting to respect what was between us, but also wanting to jump each other’s bones.
That’s right… I said it.
“Kiss me.” I finally said what I was thinking so he didn’t have to.
“Yes, ma’am.” Charlie growled before grabbing the back of my head and pulling our lips toward each other.
I missed his taste, his warmth. I almost cried at the love I felt in our connection. I pulled myself closer to him and closer again, wishing that somehow our bodies could find a way to be closer than they already were.
Well, I knew how we might accomplish that.
But he stalled my train of thought, pushing my hair behind my ear and staring into my eyes. “We should try to get some sleep. I believe you have a busy day tomorrow.”
I sunk, knowing he was right, but not having any idea how I would sleep with the amount of adrenaline searing through my body. But I conceded, showing him down the hall and into my bedroom.
“Do you want me to stay here?” He tilted his head at me as he crossed into the room.
“Of course.” It wasn’t even a question in my mind. Why would he ask that?
“I just want you to be comfortable, Hannah. I can stay on base.” He held in the frame of the door.
I shook my head as if he were speaking like a crazy person. “I want you here, Charlie. And as long as you are okay with that, I don’t want any more questions on the subject.”
His strong face lightened up and his eyes softened. “Okay then.”
He stepped fully into the room and shut the door behind him.
We quietly and cautiously crawled into bed and turned down the lights. It was oddly silly. We were acting as if we had never done this before. I wasn’t quite sure of his reservation, but I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t about to let some childish fear of rejection get in my way.
So, I rolled over and pushed myself into his arms.
“Hey you.” He cooed, hugging me tight.
“Hey you.” I answered before finding his lips with mine.
Our bodies warmed to each other, and there was no doubt in my mind where this night was headed.
“Hannah.” He stopped me. “We don’t have to do this.”
I almost yelled at him. “Do not coddle me, Charlie.”
“I’m not trying to.” He defended. “But… I thought you might want to talk about what’s been going on.” He struggled to get out the words. “As in, why you asked me to come here.”
I nodded, knowing full well that he wanted to talk about what was going on with Danny, but in that moment, I only wanted to think about him.
“Listen,” I begged, “I’ll talk about it. I will. But right now, I’m happy. And I want to stay happy. So, can tonight just be about you and me?”
How could he really say ‘no’ to that?
And he damn well didn’t.
Without another word, his hands moved to my hips and pulled into his, proving that he was absolutely ready to move the conversation to ‘us’.
Embrace The Suck (A Stepbrother Special Forces Novel) Page 23
