Embrace The Suck (A Stepbrother Special Forces Novel)

by Kenzie, Sophia

  “You’re awake.” It was a mixture of surprise and relief.

  “I am. Thanks to you.” I brushed my fingers against her cheek, wishing she would remain calm. I didn’t have the energy to handle an outburst right now.

  “None of that.” She took my hand in hers. “Luckily, you didn’t need surgery, so the doctor sewed you up, and gave you morphine for the pain. He did say that you’d be short of breath for a bit until your lung heals. Thankfully, it was just barely nicked by the bullet, but it’ll still take some time.”

  I took as deep of a breath that my body would allow, and lowered my eyes at her, deciding that teasing her was the only way to change the subject. “Thank you for that prognosis.” And then I gave her a quick, overly emphasized wink.

  Honestly, what I really wanted was to moan and complain about the pain while telling her I needed constant care and supervision and lots of backrubs, but there really was no use acting the victim. It would just upset her. And from the sheer color of her face, it was obvious that she didn’t need any more upsetting. My complaining would have to take a backseat.

  “So when can we get out of here?” I plastered on a smile, trying to ease the tension in the room.

  “I don’t know.” She tiredly shrugged. “The doctor said that he’d be back shortly.”

  I cocked my head and pinched my lips together. “Is this a cute doctor?” I tried to joke.

  Hannah raised her hand and slapped my arm. “Stop it.”

  “Ouch!” I readily responded, though she barely touched me.

  “I’m not going after any more doctors. I think I’ve learned my lesson.” She tried to laugh, but I could see the emotional pain roll through her body.

  “Okay…” I warned. “But if this one is even the tiniest bit attractive, I’m telling him that you belong to me and that he needs to keep his hands off. And I don’t want to hear any argument from you on the matter.” I emphasized each word until I was sure she got the picture. “You. Belong. To Me… Deal?”

  Hannah shook her grinning-faced head at me and rubbed her tired eyes. “I guess I can’t fight that, can I?”

  I kissed her cold, little fingers. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

  After a moment or two of quietly staring into each other’s eyes, there was a bit of commotion in the hallway that caused us both to turn our heads at the same time. The voices were muffled at first, but we soon knew exactly what was going on.

  Amanda had come to visit. And Amanda didn’t fret about causing a commotion. “I don’t care if he isn’t seeing any more visitors. I’m the reason he’s in there, and I need to make sure that he’s okay. If that is not okay with you, then you can take it up with the United States Army!” We heard another muffled voice, though we could pick out what the person asked, and then a huff from Amanda. “No I did not shoot him on purpose! Who do you think I am?”

  Amanda rushed into the room and slammed the door behind her.

  “The people here are jerks.” She put it out there, expecting for us to agree with her.

  Hannah stood up to hug her. “Or they’re just doing their job.”

  “Um, don’t be on their side, Hannah. They’ll bite you in the ass as soon as they get the chance.”

  Hannah gave me a wide-eyed look. “I’ll have to remember that.”

  I softly chuckled back at her, and greeted Amanda the best way I could. She apologized up and down, and then up and down again, but I told her it was absolutely not necessary. It wasn’t her fault, and I never wanted her to think it was.

  “Then whose fault is it? Do you honestly think this was a mistake?” Amanda paced at the bottom of my hospital bed.

  It wasn’t worth holding back the little information we had, especially, so Hannah then went on to explain her theory that Danny was somehow involved. On top of everything we already knew to be true, apparently Hannah had packed her medical bag herself before they set off for the assessment, but when she went to put “broken me” back together, at least half of her tools had been taken out of the bag.

  Amanda got just a tad too excited, somehow forgetting that this was real life, and not some sort of game. “This is like the plot to an awesome murder mystery!”

  I raised my finger to her. “Ah, except no one has been murdered.”

  Hannah jumped on my comment. “And it’s not a mystery. I know exactly who did this.”

  Hannah let that piece of information sink in, and then crossed her arms over her chest and paced by the window. Now Amanda was pacing at the foot of my bed and Hannah was pacing by the window. They were making me fucking dizzy.

  And I hated that Hannah was blaming herself. It wouldn’t help anyone. What was done was done, and nothing we spent time harping on would change that. But I knew it would do absolutely no good for me to tell her to stop. She wouldn’t be able to listen to me, no matter how convincing my argument might be. She had to work this out herself.

  And so, I tried to change the subject. “What happened after we left?”

  Amanda sat down at my feet and went through the entire afternoon’s play by play. She said that she ran to tell one of the training officers on her team what had happened, who then radioed it into base. He was told that they had just been made aware of the situation, via our communication with them in the ambulance, but as Hannah had earlier assumed, it wasn’t necessary to stop the training exercise. Hannah was the only one taken off base, and she had already completed her part of the assessment. And so, none the wiser, everyone else continued on to finish her own task. It wasn’t until they had all finished for the day that they were made aware of the situation. Amanda was the only one living with the knowledge all day.

  “Did someone call my father?” I dared to ask.

  “Yes.” I heard a gruff voice from down the hallway. “Someone called your father.”

  Both my dad and Hannah’s mom appeared in the doorway, their faces frozen with terrifyingly worried looks.

  “Mom!” Hannah ran across the room and into her mother’s arms. As soon as they embraced, I felt the tension in the room ease. It was clear Hannah needed her mother by her side.

  My dad came over to my bedside with a stern, yet calm look on his face. He asked me what exactly had happened, and I gave him the run down. I told him about Hannah’s smart use of the Asherman seal to close up the hole in my chest.

  “Oh!” I gleefully added. “She also used a condom to close up the one on my back.”

  Hannah gave me a grimace, but my dad broke out in laughter as he went over to shake her hand. “You’re pretty crafty, aren’t you?”

  Hannah’s eyes were still on me, but she calmly, yet teasingly, answered my father. “I had to think quick on my feet because this bozo keeps getting hurt when I’m around.”

  There was a joke or two about how I just like having her to fix me up, and another about how I seem to be accident-prone lately, and then another about how it seemed like someone was trying to knock me off.

  Hannah looked to the ground, and I bit the inside of my cheek. It was a little too coincidental that we both became awkwardly silent.

  My father knew there was something we weren’t telling him. “What is it? Is there something I need to be made aware of? Charlie…” he quickly rose from concern to annoyance to anger.

  “No…” I started, but I saw Hannah’s face turn red. “Well, maybe.” I weighed my options. Would it just be better to tell him? I figured it couldn’t hurt. “Remember the doctor guy you called me about when I was overseas?”

  This was obviously new information to Hannah, and her look of betrayal said just that. I had yet to tell her that I already knew there was an issue with Danny by the time she finally got around to asking for my help. I always thought I eventually would, but it didn’t seem necessary when we were in the middle of it. But now, looking back, I guess I could have given her a head’s up.

  I saw Hannah’s mom grab her hand and pull her closer. She knew this was going to be hard for her.

 
My father continued the conversation. “What about the doctor?”

  “Well,” I started, “I have no concrete evidence here, please keep that in mind, but there’s a possibility that he might have had something to do with all of this.”

  There was a quick and to the point argument over the fact that he wouldn’t have access to the weapons due to the fact that he would have needed clearance to get on base, but Hannah bravely took over, explaining that he was given temporary access to shadow the infirmary doctor.

  “Who approved that?” My father’s face burned with outrage.

  I lifted my shoulders, getting annoyed that we were reliving this while I was really hoping to put it behind us. “I don’t fucking know. It’s not like we have a file on this guy saying that he may or may not be bad news because this one time he threatened one of our trainees.”

  It was all too real for Hannah, and I could see her eyes were about to burst with tears. I wanted to stop the conversation. I wanted to talk about sunshine and puppies, but I knew that unless this was all out in the open, nothing would get done.

  It would just have to suck for a little longer.

  “Hannah,” I offered, “do you want to take Amanda and your mom to get some yogurt downstairs? I can fill my Pops in on the rest.”

  She was about to fight me, but her mother tugged her toward the door, and that little push was all she needed to concede. The girls gave a quick goodbye and left the room, off to find some yogurt.

  My father pulled up a chair. “What the fuck, Charlie?”

  “I know.” I shook my head. “Believe me. I know.”

  Not wishing to waste time, I started with his phone call and took him through my attempt to go up to North Carolina without her permission simply because of the uneasy feeling I got from the guy. I told him about the choking incident, the first meeting in the parking lot, the roses on her bed, and then to a few moments later when she called me. I went on to explain about the time I interrupted their secret rendezvous at lunch, and how he had promised her that something was going to happen to me because of it. And then I told him about that morning. Everything had been fine. Hannah was excited about the test. And then she ran into him.

  “That’s what I have. Believe me, I know nothing’s solid, but Hannah is convinced.” I took a long, slow breath, as my in-depth story had taken a lot out of me.

  “I’m going to look into this, Son.” My father put his hand on my leg. “Until then, I think it’s smart that you and Hannah stay at my house.”

  “Pops, no.” I tried to fight him in a way that would seem as though I didn’t want to be a burden, but in all actuality, I really didn’t want to go back to living with my father. I was too damn old for that. “It’s really okay. I’ll be fine.”

  But he didn’t budge. “Until this is sorted out, this isn’t up for debate. I approved for you a four week leave of absence.”

  “Fuck no.” I almost jumped out of the bed. “What am I supposed to do for four weeks?”

  “Well,” he pulled out his phone to check the calendar. “Hannah’s official training won’t begin for another four weeks, so you guys can play house and help us plan the wedding.” He flashed his bright white teeth at me, knowing full well that planning a wedding was not something that interested me in the slightest.

  I wasn’t even the tiniest bit amused, and decided to throw all the sarcasm I could muster in his direction. “Well, doesn’t that sound like a…” But instead of continuing on, I paused, going back over what he had just told me. “Wait, Hannah made the program?”

  My father offered a very real smile and nodded his head. “She saved your life. I think she deserved at least that.”

  A wave of emotions flew through me. I was beamingly happy for her, yet, strangely sad. It’s not like I ever thought that this military life for her would end, but wow, at every phase, I had to reacquaint myself with the idea. This was a very real path she was going down. One of these days, the training would be over. “She hasn’t told me yet.”

  “She doesn’t know yet.” He winked at me. “I figured I’d let you tell Hannah yourself.”

  “Tell me what?” Hannah adorably peeked her head in the doorway, holding a small cup of strawberry yogurt while she licked a plastic spoon.

  I smiled and sighed. “Come here. I have some good news.”

  With that, Dad left us to ourselves, alone in the hospital room.

  “I have some news…”

  Chapter Three

  Hannah

  Being at Charlie’s father’s house was strange. My mother had moved in as well, so that was also strange. I was now officially living with Charlie… that might have been the strangest of them all. So yes, my life was feeling very strange.

  But, I’ll admit, it was kind of fun living with Charlie. We kept calling each other ‘sis’ and ‘bro’, and jokingly telling our parents that the other had done something to annoy us. And then we’d pull each other’s hair, or call each other names, or do that thing where you get really close to the other person and then say “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you.”

  I think they hated us. We absolutely loved it.

  I have no doubt in my mind that they knew we were sleeping together, but strangely, no one brought it up. Plus… well, honestly, since we had moved into his dad’s home, we hadn’t been sleeping together. Charlie was on bed rest for two weeks, and aside from the occasional cuddle, I was afraid to touch him.

  “Hannah!” I heard him call me from down the hallway.

  This had become a thing. Each morning, he’d wake up, call my name, and then I’d grab my computer and come running to his side. We’d watch a movie, or a television show, or just scour the Internet for funny memes and YouTube videos of puppies. Today though, I was reading through the information I had gotten on the Special Forces Training. It was literally mind boggling, and I thought my head might explode. Maybe Charlie could walk me through it a little better.

  “Coming!” I called back to him.

  “Without my help?” He yelled while laughing at his ridiculous joke.

  I popped my head into his room. “You’re not as funny as you think you are, Charlie Madison.”

  He answered me with only a smile, and then reached his arms out, asking for me to join him in bed.

  “And close the door.” He winked. “I want to put my penis in all of your places.”

  “Oh my goodness!” I burst out, shocked at his crassness.

  “Come on,” he whined, “you want it. Don’t deny it.”

  It’s not like I was going to deny that very real fact, but I still was treating him with kid gloves. If I hurt him… I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. And the doctor specifically said no exercising and no heavy breathing. I believe that putting his penis “in all of my places” would constitute as both exercise and heavy breathing.

  “You’re sick, you know that, right?” I gave him a face as I crawled into bed with him. He tried to roll over and put his hands where they didn’t belong, but I quickly sat my laptop on my lap and directed his eyes to the screen.

  Charlie groaned. “You’re no fun.”

  “I’ll be fun when this is all over.” I wiped my sleepy eyes as I brought up the curriculum on the screen. “Want to help me go through this?” I half begged.

  “Weren’t you briefed on all this when you were on base?” The back of his hand was rubbing my thigh.

  “Yes,” I assured him, “but that doesn’t mean I at all grasped what in the hell I’m supposed to do now.”

  I pouted out my bottom lip, giving him the biggest puppy-dog face I had ever made.

  “Okay, fine. Let’s look at it.” He angled the computer half toward himself, but made sure to let his fingers find their way back to my leg. “What?” He teased as I shot him a look.

  “Oh, nothing.” I giggled like a schoolgirl.

  Upon selection at Special Forces Assessment and Selection, all Active Duty enlisted and Initial Accession 18X candidates, of which I
was one of fourteen who had made it through, were briefed on three specific details pertaining to our career in the Army. They were the five Special Forces Active Duty Groups, the four Special Forces Military Occupational Specialties (MOS) that were open to us, and the languages spoken in each Special Forces Group.

  It was a lot to take in during one sitting, so on our own time, we were asked to create a “wish list”- a questionnaire that could let our commanding officers know what area of the world we would prefer to cover, what languages we would prefer to learn, and mostly, what MOS we would prefer to work as. That one was easy for me. I knew I wanted to be an 18D Medical Sergeant. I wouldn’t have ventured into this program without that goal in mind. It’s said that the MOS, SF Group, and language that a selected candidate requests is in no way guaranteed, and is completely contingent upon the needs of the Special Forces community, but generally eighty percent of selected candidates are awarded their primary choices, and the way I saw it, the Army approached me. If they didn’t give me my 18D training, there would be hell to pay.

  “You still have to appease them and put down the order.” Charlie warned.

  “But I don’t want anything else. I just want to be the Medical Sergeant.” I crossed my arms over my chest, telling him that I was right and there was no reason to fight me.