by Gene Wolfe
Page 15
"There is hot water here, and soap. "
"Thats good," I said. And then, "If I go downstairs. . . "
That smile again. "Will it be the same? The ice? No. You are the first to have guessed. May I ask how you did it?"
"A long time ago - no, only a few months, actually, though it seems like such a long time now - I went to the Botanic Gardens in Nessus. There was a place called the Lake of Birds, where the bodies of the dead seemed to remain fresh forever. I was told it was some property of the water, but I wondered even then that there should be so much power in water. There was another place too, that they called the Jungle Garden, where the leaves were greener than I have ever known leaves to be - not a bright green but dark with greenness, as if the plants could never use all the energy the sun poured down. The people there seemed not of our time, though I could not say if they were of the past, or the future, or some third thing that is neither. They had a little house. It was much smaller than this, but this reminds me of it. Ive thought often of the Botanic Gardens since I left them, and sometimes Ive wondered if their secret were not that the time never changed in the Lake of Birds, and that one moved forward or backward - however it might be - when walking the path of the Jungle Garden. Am I perhaps speaking overmuch?"
Master Ash shook his head.
"Then when I was coming here, I saw your house at the top of this hill. But when I climbed to it, it was gone, and the valley below was not as I remembered it. " I did not know what else to say, and fell silent.
"You are correct," Master Ash told me. "I have been put here to observe what you see about you now. The lower stories of my home, however, reach into older periods, of which yours is the oldest. "
"That seems a great wonder. "
He shook his head. "It is almost more wonderful that this spur of rock has been spared by the glaciers. The tops of peaks far higher are submerged. It is sheltered by a geographic pattern so subtle that it could only be achieved by accident. "
"But it too will be covered at last?" I asked.
"Yes. "
"And what then?"
"I shall leave. Or rather, I shall leave some time before it occurs. "
I felt a surge of irrational anger, the same emotion I had sometimes known as a boy when I could not make Master Malrubius understand my questions. "I meant, what of Urth?"
He shrugged. "Nothing. What you see is the last glacia-tion. The surface of the sun is dull now; soon it will grow bright with heat, but the sun itself will shrink, giving less energy to its worlds. Eventually, should anyone come and stand upon the ice, he will see it only as a bright star. The ice he stands upon will not be that which you see but the atmosphere of this world. And so it will remain for a very long time. Perhaps until the close of the universal day. "
I went to another window and looked out again on the expanse of ice. "Will this happen soon?"
"The scene you see is many thousands of years in your future. "
"But before this, the ice must have come from the south. "
Master Ash nodded. "And down from the mountaintops. Come with me. "
We descended to the second level of the house, which I had scarcely noticed when I had come upstairs the night before. The windows were far fewer there, but Master Ash placed chairs before one and indicated that we would sit and look out. It was as he had said - ice, lovely in its purity, crept down the mountainsides to war with the pines. I asked if this too were far in the future, and he nodded once more. "You will not live to see it again. "
"But so near that the life of a man will nearly reach it?"
He twitched his shoulders and smiled beneath his beard. "Let us say it is a thing of degree. You will not see this. Nor will your children, nor theirs. But the process has already begun. It began long before you were born. "
I knew nothing of the south, but I found myself thinking of the island people of Hallvards story, the precious little sheltered places with a growing season, the hunting of the seals. Those islands would not hold men and their families much longer. The boats would scrape over their stony beaches for the last time. "My wife, my children, my children, my wife. "
"At this time, many of your people are already gone," Master Ash continued. "Those you call the cacogens have mercifully carried them to fairer worlds. Many more will leave before the final victory of the ice. I am myself, you see, descended from those refugees. "
I asked if everyone would escape.
He shook his head. "No, not everyone. Some would not go, some could not be found. No home could be found for others. "
For some time I sat looking out at the beleaguered valley and trying to order my thoughts. At last I said, "I have always found that men of religion tell comforting things that are not true, while men of science recount hideous truths. The Chatelaine Mannea said you were a holy man, but you appear to be a man of science, and you said your people had sent you to our dead Urth to study the ice. "
"The distinction you mention no longer holds. Religion and science have always been matters of faith in something.
It is the same something. You are yourself what you call a man of science, so I talk of science to you. If Mannea were here with her priestesses, I would talk differently. "
I have so many memories that I often become lost among them. Now as I looked at the pines, waving in a wind I could not feel, I seemed to hear the beating of a drum. "I met another man who said he was from the future once," I said. "He was green - nearly as green as those trees - and he told me that his time was a time of brighter sun. "
Master Ash nodded. "No doubt he spoke truly. "
"But you tell me that what I see now is but a few lifetimes away, that it is part of a process already begun, and that this will be the last glaciation. Either you are a false prophet or he was. "
"I am not a prophet," answered Master Ash, "nor was he. No one can know the future. We are speaking of the past. "
I was angry again. "You told me this was only a few lifetimes away. "
"I did. But you, and this scene, are past events for me. "
"I am not a thing of the past! I belong to the present. "
"From your own viewpoint you are correct. But you forget I cannot see you from your viewpoint. This is my house. It is through my windows that you have looked. My house strikes its roots into the past. Without that I should go mad here. As it is, I read these old centuries like books. I hear the voices of the long dead, yours among them. You think that time is a single thread. It is a weaving, a tapestry that extends forever in all directions. I follow a thread backward. You will trace a color forward, what color I cannot know. White may lead you to me, green to your green man. "
Not knowing what to say, I could only mutter that I had conceived of time as a river.
"Yes - you came from Nessus, did you not? And that was a city built about a river. But it was once a city by the sea, and you would do better to think of time as a sea. The waves ebb and flow, and currents run beneath them. "
"I would like to go downstairs," I said. "To return to my own time. "
Master Ash said, "I understand. "
"I wonder if you do. Your time, if I have heard you rightly, is that of this houses highest story, and you have a bed there, and other necessary things. Yet when you are not overwhelmed by your labors you sleep here, according to what you have told me. Yet you say this is nearer my time than your own. "
He stood up. "I meant that I too flee the ice. Shall we go? You will want food before you begin the long trip back to Mannea. "
"We both will," I said.
He turned to look at me before he started down the stair. "I told you I could not go with you. You have discovered for yourself how well hidden this house is. For all who do not walk the path correctly, even the lowest story stands in the future. "
I caught both his arms behind him in a double lock and used my free hand to search him for weapons. There were none, and though he was strong, he was not as strong as
I had feared he might be.
"You plan to carry me to Mannea. Is that correct?"
"Yes, Master, and well have a great deal less trouble if you will go willingly. Tell me where I can find some rope - I dont want to have to use the belt of your robe. "
"There is none," he told me.
I bound his hands with his cincture, as I had first planned. "When we are some distance from here," I said, "1 will loose you if you will give me your word to behave well. "
"I made you welcome in my house. What harm have I done you?"
"Quite a bit, but that doesnt matter. I like you, Master Ash, and I respect you. I hope that you wont hold what I am doing to you against me any more than I hold what you have done to me against you. But the Pelerines sent me to fetch you, and I find I am a certain sort of man, if you understand what I mean. Now dont go down the steps too fast. If you fall, you wont be able to catch yourself. "
I led him to the room to which he had first taken me and got some of the hard bread and a package of dried fruit. "I dont think of myself as one anymore," I continued, "but I was brought up as - " It was at my lips to say torturer, but I realized (then, I think, for the first time) that it was not quite the correct term for what the guild did and used the official one instead, " - as a Seeker for Truth and Penitence. We do what we have said we will do. "
"I have duties to perform. In the upper level, where you slept. "
"I am afraid they must go unperformed. "
He was silent as we went out the door and onto the rocky hilltop. Then he said, "I will go with you, if I can. I have often wished to walk out of this door and never halt. "
I told him that if he would swear upon his honor, I would untie him at once.
He shook his head. "You might think that I betrayed you. "
I did not know what he meant.
"Perhaps somewhere there is the woman I have called Vine. But your world is your world. I can exist there only if the probability of my existence is high. "
I said, "I existed in your house, didnt I?"
"Yes, but that was because your probability was complete. You are a part of the past from which my house and I have come. The question is whether I am the future to which you go. "
I remembered the green man in Saltus, who had been solid enough. "Will you vanish like a soap bubble then?" I asked. "Or blow away like smoke?"
"I do not know," he said. "I do not know what will happen to me. Or where I will go when it does. I may cease to exist in any time. That was why I never left of my own will. "
I took him by one arm, I suppose because I thought I could keep him with me in that way, and we walked on. I followed the route Mannea had drawn for me, and the Last House rose behind us as solidly as any other. My mind was busy with all the things he had told me and showed me, so that for a while, the space of twenty or thirty paces, perhaps, I did not look around at him. At last his remark about the tapestry suggested Valeria to me. The room where we had eaten cakes had been hung with them, and what he had said about tracing threads suggested the maze of tunnels through which I had run before encountering her. I started to tell him of it, but he was gone. My hand grasped empty air. For a moment I seemed to see the Last House afloat like a ship upon its ocean of ice. Then it merged into the dark hilltop on which it had stood; the ice was no more than what I had once taken it to be - a bank of cloud.
Chapter Eighteen
Foilas Request
For another hundred paces or more, Master Ash was not entirely gone. I felt his presence, and sometimes even caught sight of him, walking beside me and half a step behind, when I did not try to look directly at him. How I saw him, how he could in some sense be present while in another absent, I do not know. Our eyes receive a rain of photons without mass or charge from swarming particles like a billion, billion suns - so Master Palaemon, who was nearly blind, had taught me. From the pattering of those photons we believe we see a man. Sometimes the man we believe we see may be as illusory as Master Ash, or more so.
His wisdom I felt with me too. It had been a melancholy wisdom, but a real one. I found myself wishing he had been able to accompany me, though I realized it would have meant the coming of the ice was certain. "Im lonely, Master Ash," I said, not daring to look back. "How lonely I didnt realize until now. You were lonely also, I think. Who was the woman you called Vine?"
Perhaps I only imagined his voice. "The first woman. " "Meschiane? Yes, I know her, and she is very lovely. My Meschiane was Dorcas, and I am lonely for her, but for all the others too. When Thecla became a part of me, I thought I would never be lonely again. But now she is so much a part that were only one person, and I can be lonely for others. For Dorcas, for Pia the island girl, for little Severian and Drotte and Roche. If Eata were here, I could hug him.
"Most of all, Id like to see Valeria. Jolenta was the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen, but there was something in Valerias face that tore my heart out. I was only a boy, I suppose, though I didnt think so then. I crawled up out of the dark and found myself in a place they called the Atrium of Time. Towers - the towers of Valerias family - rose on all sides of it. In the center was an obelisk covered with sundials, and though I remember its shadow on the snow, it couldnt have had sunlight there for more than two or three watches of each day; the towers must shade it most of the time. Your understanding is deeper than mine, Master Ash - can you tell me why they might have built it so?"
A wind that played among the rocks seized my cloak so that it billowed from my shoulders. I secured it again and pulled up my hood. "I was following a dog. I called him Triskele, and I said, even to myself, that he was mine, though I had no right to keep a dog. It was a winter day when I found him. Wed been doing laundry - washing the clients bedclothes - and the drain plugged with rags and lint. Id been shirking my work, and Drotte told me to go outside and ram a clothes prop up it. The wind was terribly cold. That was your ice coming, I suppose, though I didnt know it at the time - the winters getting a little worse each year. And of course when I got the drain open, a gush of filthy water would come out and wet my hands.
