by Gene Wolfe
Page 22
I shook my head and laid it on the pillow again. The softness smelled faintly of musk.
"That is just as well, because it will be some time before you do. "
"Is that what your physician says?"
"I am my own, and Ive been treating you myself. Shock was the principal problem. . . It sounds like a disorder for old women, as you are no doubt thinking at this moment. But it kills a great many men with wounds. If all of mine who die of it would only live, I would readily consent to the death of those who take a thrust in the heart. "
"While you were being your own physician - and mine-were you telling the truth?"
He smiled more broadly at that. "I always do. In my position, I have to talk too much to keep a skein of lies in order; of course, you must realize that the truth. . . the little, ordinary truths that farm wives talk of, not the ultimate and universal Truth, which Im no more capable of uttering than you. . . that truth is more deceptive. "
"Before I lost consciousness, I heard you say you are the Autarch. "
He threw himself down beside me like a child, his body making a distinct sound as it struck the piled carpets. "I did. I am. Are you impressed?"
"I would be more impressed," I said, "if I did not recall you so vividly from our meeting in the House Azure. "
(That porch, covered with snow, heaped with snow that deadened our footsteps, stood in the silken pavilion like a specter. When the Autarchs blue eyes met mine, I felt that Roche stood beside me in the snow, both of us dressed in unfamiliar and none-too-well-fitting clothes. Inside, a woman who was not Thecla was transforming herself into Thecla as I was later to make myself Meschia, the first man. Who can say to what degree an actor assumes the spirit of the person he portrays? When I played the Familiar, it was nothing, because it was so close to what I was - or had at least believed myself to be - in life; but as Meschia I had sometimes had thoughts that could never have occurred to me otherwise, thoughts alien equally to Severian and to Thecla, thoughts of the beginnings of things and the morning of the world. )
"I never told you, you will recall, that I was only the Autarch. "
"When I met you in the House Absolute, you appeared to be a minor official of the court. I admit you never told me that, and in fact I knew then who you were. But it was you, wasnt it, who gave the money to Dr. Talos?"
"I would have told you that without a blush. It is completely true. In fact, I am several of the minor officials of my court. . . Why shouldnt I be? I have the authority to appoint such officials, and I can just as well appoint myself. An order from the Autarch is often too heavy an instrument, you see. You would never have tried to slit a nose with that big headsmans sword you carried. There is a time for a decree from the Autarch, and a time for a letter from the third bursar, and I am both and more besides. "
"And in that house in the Algedonic Quarter - "
"I am also a criminal. . . just as you are. "
There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity. I, who had always thought myself, though not truly intelligent, at least prudent and quick to learn simple things, who had always counted myself the practical and foreseeing one when I had traveled with Jonas or Dorcas, had never until that instant connected the Autarchs position at the very apex of the structure of legality with his certain knowledge that I had penetrated the House Absolute as an emissary of Vodalus. At that moment, I would have leaped up and fled from the pavilion if I could, but my legs were like water.
"All of us are - all of us must be who must enforce the law. Do you think your guild brothers would have been so severe with you - and my agent reports that many of them wished to kill you - if they had themselves been guilty of something of the same kind? You were a danger to them unless you were terribly punished because they might otherwise someday be tempted. A judge or a jailer who has no crime of his own is a monster, alternately purloining the forgiveness that belongs to the Increate alone and practicing a deathly rigor that belongs to no one and nothing.
"So I became a criminal. The violent crimes offended my love of humanity, and I lack the quickness of hand and thought required of a thief. After blundering about for some time. . . that would be in about the year you were born, I suppose. . . I found my true profession. It takes care of certain emotional needs I cannot now satisfy otherwise. . . and I have, I really do have, a knowledge of human nature. I know just when to offer a bribe and how much to give, and, the most important thing, when not to. I know how to keep the girls who work for me happy enough with their careers to continue, and discontented enough with their fates. . . Theyre khaibits, of course, grown from the body cells of exultant women so an exchange of blood will prolong the exultants youth. I know how to make my clients feel that the encounters I arrange are unique experiences instead of something midway between dewy-eyed romance and solitary vice. You felt that you had a unique experience, didnt you?"
"Thats what we call them too," I said. "Clients. " I had been listening as much to the tone of his voice as to his words. He was happy, as I thought he had not been on either of the other occasions on which I had encountered him, and to hear him was like hearing a thrush speak. He almost seemed to know it himself, lifting his face and extending his throat, the Rs in arrange and romance trilled into the sunlight.
"It is useful too. It keeps me in touch with the underside of the population, so I know whether or not taxes are really being collected and whether theyre thought fair, which elements are rising in society and which are going down. "
I sensed that he was referring to me, though I had no idea what he meant. "Those women from the court," I said.
"Why didnt you get the real ones to help you? One of them was pretending to be Thecla when Thecla was locked under our tower. "
He looked at me as though I had said something particularly stupid, as no doubt I had. "Because I cant trust them, of course. A thing like that has to remain a secret. . . Think of the opportunities for assassination. Do you believe that because all those gilded personages from ancient families bow so low in my presence, and smile, and whisper discreet jokes and lewd little invitations, they feel some loyalty to me? You will learn differently, you may be sure. There are few at my court I can trust, and none among the exultants. "
"You say Ill learn differently. Does that mean you dont intend to have me executed?" I could feel the pulse in my neck and see the scarlet gout of blood.
"Because you know my secret now? No. We have other uses for you, as I told you when we talked in the room behind the picture. "
"Because I was sworn to Vodalus. "
At that his amusement mastered him. He threw back his head and laughed, a plump and happy child who had just discovered the secret of some clever toy. When the laughter subsided at last into a merry gulping, he clapped his hands. Soft though they looked, the sound was remarkably loud.
Two creatures with the bodies of women and the heads of cats entered. Their eyes were a span apart and as large as plums; they strode on their toes as dancers sometimes do, but more gracefully than any dancers I have ever seen, with something in their motions that told me it was their normal gait. I have said they had the bodies of women, but that was not quite true, for I saw the tips of claws sheathed in the short, soft fingers that dressed me. In wonder, I took the hand of one and pressed it as I have sometimes pressed the paw of a friendly cat, and saw the claws barred. My eyes brimmed with tears at the sight of them, because they were shaped like that claw that is the Claw, that once lay concealed in the gem that I, in my ignorance, called the Claw of the Conciliator. The Autarch saw I was weeping, and told the woman-cats they were hurting me and must put me down. I felt like an infant who has just learned he will never see his mother again.
"We do not harm him, Legion," one protested in such a voice as I had never heard before.
"Put him down, I said!"
"They have not so much as grazed my skin, Si
eur," I told him.
With the woman-cats support I was able to walk. It was morning, when all shadows flee the first sight of the sun; the light that had wakened me had been the earliest of the new day. Its freshness filled my lungs now, and the coarse grass over which we walked darkened my scuffed old boots with its dew; a breeze faint as the dim stars stirred my hair.
The Autarchs pavilion stood on the summit of a hill. All around lay the main bivouac of his army - tents of black and gray, and others like dead leaves; huts of turf and pits that led to shelters underground, from which streams of soldiers issued now like silver ants.
"We must be careful, you see," he said. "Though we are some distance behind the lines here, if this place were plainer it would invite attack from above. "
"I used to wonder why your House Absolute lay beneath its own gardens, Sieur. "
"The need has long passed now, but there was a time when they laid waste to Nessus. "
Below us and all around us, the silver lips of trumpets sounded.
"Was it only the night?" I asked. "Or have I slept a whole day away?"
"No. Only the night. I gave you medicines to ease your pain and keep infection from your wound. I would not have roused you this morning, but I saw you were awake when I came in. . . and there is no more time. "
I was not certain what he meant by that. Before I could ask, I caught sight of six nearly naked men hauling at a rope. My first impression was that they were bringing down some huge balloon, but it was a flier, and the sight of its black hull brought vivid memories of the Autarchs court.
"I was expecting - what was its name? Mamillian. "
"No pets today. Mamillian is an excellent comrade, silent and wise and able to fight with a mind independent of my own, but when all is said and done, I ride him for pleasure. We will thieve a string from the Ascians bow and use a mechanism today. They steal many from us. "
"Is it true that it consumes their power to land? I think one of your aeronauts once told me that. "
"When you were the Chatelaine Thecla, you mean. Thecla purely. "
"Yes, of course. Would it be impolitic, Autarch, to ask why you had me killed? And how you know me now?"
"I know you because I see your face in the face of my young friend and hear your voice in his. Your nurses know you too. Look at them. "
I did, and saw the woman-cats faces twisted in snarls of fear and amazement.
"As to why you died, I will speak of that - to him - on board the flier. . . have we time. Now, go back. You find it easy to manifest yourself because he is weak and ill, but I must have him now, not you. If you will not go, there are means. "
"Sieur - "
"Yes, Severian? Are you afraid? Have you entered such a contrivance before?"
"No," I said. "But I am not afraid. "
"Do you recall your question about their power? It is true, in a sense. Their lift is supplied by the antimaterial equivalent of iron, held in a penning trap by magnetic fields. Since the anti-iron has a reversed magnetic structure, it is repelled by promagnetism. The builders of this flier have surrounded it with magnets, so that when it drifts from its position at the center it enters a stronger field and is forced back. On an antimaterial world, that iron would weigh as much as a boulder, but here on Urth it counters the weight of the promatter used in the construction of the flier. Do you follow me?"
"I believe so, Sieur. "
"The trouble is that it is beyond our technology to seal the chamber hermetically. Some atmosphere - a few molecules-is always creeping in through porosities in the welds, or by penetrating the insulation of the magnetic wires. Each such molecule neutralizes its equivalent in anti-iron and produces heat, and each time one does so, the flier loses an infinitesimal amount of lift. The only solution anyone has found is to keep fliers as high as possible, where there is effectively no air pressure. "
The flier was nosing down now, near enough for me to appreciate the beautiful sleekness of its lines. It had precisely the shape of a cherry leaf.
"I didnt understand all of that," I said. "But I would think the ropes would have to be immensely long to allow the fliers to float high enough to do any good, and that if the Ascian pentadactyls came over by night they would cut them and let the fliers drift away. "
The woman-cats smiled at that with tiny, secretive twitch-ings of their lips.
"The rope is only for landing. Without it, our flier would require sufficient distance for its forward speed to drive it down. Now, knowing were below, it drops its cable just as a man in a pond might extend his hand to someone who would pull him out. It has a mind of its own, you see. Not like Mamillians - a mind we have made for it, but enough of a mind to permit it to stay out of difficulties and come down when it receives our signal. "
The lower half of the flier was of opaque black metal, the upper half a dome so clear as to be nearly invisible - the same substance, I suppose, as the roof of the Botanic Gardens. A gun like the one the mammoth had carried thrust out from the stern, and another twice as large protruded from the bow.
The Autarch lifted one hand to his mouth and seemed to whisper into his palm. An aperture appeared in the dome (it was as if a hole had opened in a soap bubble) and a flight of silver steps, as thin and insubstantial looking as the web ladder of a spider, descended to us. The bare-chested men had left off pulling. "Do you think you can climb those?" the Autarch asked.
"If I can use my hands," I said.
He went before me, and I crawled up ignominiously after him, dragging my wounded leg. The seats, long benches that followed the curve of the hull on either side, were upholstered in fur; but even this fur felt colder than any ice. Behind me, the aperture narrowed and vanished.
"We will have surface pressure in here no matter how high we go. You dont have to worry about suffocating. "
"I am afraid I am too ignorant to feel the fear, Sieur. "
