by Yuu Kamiya
“—Huh?”
Reacting to his wide-eyed companions, Sora responded quizzically:
“What? I mean, this is school we’re talking about. It’s not fun. We’ll do our best tomorrow.”
“…Nod, nod.”
“…You knaves, why’d you make a school the setting, then?”
No one had an answer to the Shrine Maiden’s offhanded gripe…
DAY 2
When Sora awoke, the “Go to School” command was displayed before him. When he selected the command, his surroundings changed. Before he knew it, he found himself walking to school with Shiro. Everything that led up to this—eating breakfast, changing into his uniform, and leaving the house… All those things had been skipped, yet the memory of doing them lingered vaguely in his head.
“…Brother, good morning…”
“Morning… Hey, I guess we’re together from the morning ’cos we’re siblings even in the game.”
Incidentally, they were also in the same year of school in the game. An eighteen-year-old and an eleven-year-old in the same class—explained away by inferring she’d skipped a lot of grades. As Sora and Shiro headed to school together among the NPCs, a voice announced itself behind them.
“—Oh, Sora. G-good morning to you.”
“Hmm…?”
Turning, there stood Steph (in drag). Sora raised a hand to her greeting, and then knitted his brow.
“…Morning. Ya know, it’s kinda creepy when you talk like a girl dressed up like that.”
“Aren’t you the one who went ahead and made it so…?”
Steph, eyes narrowed forbiddingly, produced a thick sheaf of papers from her bag and thrust it before Sora.
“…What is this?”
“It’s the queen’s profile and contact information in this game. And, also…I did a little digging for some data about the side characters who seem to be her friends at school.”
“—What, already?!”
Wide-eyed, Sora flipped through the documentation he’d received. Steph had said “a little,” but what he looked through now was documentation covering as many as dozens of characters’ info, from phone numbers to hobbies.
—So much info by the second day… Half-appalled at this quick work that would have put the Yoshio to shame, Sora queried:
“Hey, how’d you even dig up this shit?”
Steph stared back blankly before announcing casually:
“It’s just like making the rounds in society. All that is required is to draw close a few followers, and everything from interests to grudges to gossip to relationships between the sexes becomes transparent. And it seems that, unlike in the real world, here one can even delve into somewhat personal topics without severing bonds.”
Tsk.
“What?! Why are you tsking at me?!”
Those social skills were fearsome. Though it had been the role he’d expected of her, Steph’s social skills were so good that Sora forgot to be grateful and instead just got pissed.
“Never mind, sorry… A-anyway, I’ll check it out. Thanks.”
Then—Following Sora’s recovery and expression of appreciation…
“—U-um, by the way, did that, well…raise your ‘Affection’?” Steph (supposed to be a guy in the game) asked, poking her fingers together bashfully.
“…Whaat?”
“Well, you see, I just tried touching the ‘Gift’—”
“““Steeeph! ”””
“—Agh?!”
Sudden, saccharine voices accosted her from the rear, and Steph pitched forward with a cry. Flustered, she looked back to see a number of girls practically crawling over one another toward her, hearts in their eyes.
“Oh, Steph! Please allow me to go with you to school!”
“Hey, how dare you act so buddy-buddy with him! Oh, come, Steph, please—”
“Wha, hey, I’m still—s-someone save meeeeeee—?!”
Watching Steph dragged off by the throng of schoolgirls, Sora, eyes half-open, said, “……You just go get chased to the end of the world.”
He tsked again and went ahead to school, abandoning her.
—When he arrived at school, Ino was still on his hands and knees.
DAY 3
Izuna used the “Gift” command on Sora. What she proffered was a can of mackerel. But Izuna was drooling and staring at the can. It seemed she was in the midst of an intense struggle. Sora even started considering going for the Izuna route but just managed to stop himself.
—When he went to school, before the gate, he spotted the queen and Steph. An event? But he hadn’t even met them yet, so he ignored the pair and went on to his classroom.
When he got there—she was supposed to be his classmate, apparently—Plum approached him, wearing the girls’ uniform.
“U-umm…Why are you all ignoring the queeeen…?”
“’Cos it’s easier to earn affection points if you pump up the stats they want first.”
“…In the early…game, you skip all the…generic events…and buff your stats for the win…”
At these straight-faced, unanimous assertions from Sora and Shiro, Plum still uneasily inquired:
“…Is that how it worrrks?”
Ino was still at the gate, on his hands and knees.
DAY 4
The Shrine Maiden used the “Ask Out” command—on Sora. As he went to school, a voice suddenly called to him, and the Shrine Maiden began.
“I’m a bit interested in this ‘cherry coral park’ business that’s said to be spring-only. Might you accompany me?”
She seemed to be getting this info from the user interface she was examining, but it was news to Sora.
“Huh, what’s that? Where’d you find it?”
“What, did it escape your notice? There’s a sign like a little book in the lower right.”
“Oh, no kidding. Oceand Journal—can’t believe you got ahead of me in a romance game…”
“Heh-heh-hee… So, what say you? Cherry coral, eh, doesn’t it tickle your fancy?”
“Sure, why not. Shiro’s down, too, right?”
“…Mm, I’m…curious.”
“Why don’t we invite the others while we’re at it. Izuna, Jibril, Steph—hey, Plum, you in, too?”
“Master, I see ‘Make Lunch Box’ among my ‘Hobby’ commands. I shall prepare and bring the fare.”
“…Excuse me, you aren’t all really forgetting the point of this game, are youuu…?”
Ino was still at the gate, on his hands and knees.
DAY 5
It was the day to choose clubs. All unanimously selected the Going-Home Club. Only Steph joined the student council, but for some reason, this was frowned on by the others.
—Leaving school, Shiro tugged at Sora’s sleeve. When he looked up—
“…Brother, look.”
There was the queen, apparently leaving as well.
“…You can, walk with her…?”
“Probably. But that’s a pain in the ass, so let’s just go.”
“…‘If someone, sees us…and gossips…I’d be embarrassed,’ right…?”
“My sister, could you please not say that out loud?”
—His memories of the days of his youth were rekindled. That was the line, when you said, “Hey, we’re childhood friends. Why not walk home together?”
“Now that I think about it, I kinda have a feeling that was the genesis of my distrust of people.”
A restless Plum was saying something to him, but he brushed it off with a lol, cool story, bro.
Ino was still at the gate, on his hands and knees.
DAY 10
There was an official discussion of the sports day that was supposed to happen the following month. Consensus was that Jibril had it in the bag, and everyone selected the “Leave School” command as soon as they arrived. As he exited the gate, Sora finally gave the date command a try.
—On the Shrine Maiden.
“Uhh, umm, you wanna ‘Go Sh
opping’ with everyone?”
“Why do you say it so flatly?”
“Well, it’s just one of those obligatory things.”
“In any case, is there something droll about going shopping when there’s nothing you need?”
“…Looks like, they’re having…a gourmet, fair…”
“All right, let’s go. They must have sake, eh? Oh, Izuna, will you come along?”
“If they have fish or meat, you don’t gotta ask, please.”
“Oh, and of course I shall accompany you, Master.”
They were going to ask Steph, too, but they didn’t see her leaving. Maybe she was busy with the student council.
—They used up all their Money, but they all got to experience some impressive flavors.
Ino was still—you know.
DAY 15
“—Hey, why do we even have to go to school at all?”
Prompted by Sora’s insight, everyone finally experienced an epiphany. On the heels of it, they quickly concocted a plan to conquer all the date spots they could go to together. Sora and Shiro put in some extra effort and arrived at the spot they’d designated to meet all dressed up, but—
“…Uh, whut…?”
On behalf of the crestfallen Shiro, Sora put it out there.
“…Shrine Maiden… Let me just ask, why are you dressed like that?”
The Shrine Maiden had arrived on the dot in the most unfortunate attire of a tracksuit and sandals. In her getup, like some dopey dad lounging around the house, the Shrine Maiden raised her hands in explanation.
“They didn’t have a hakama or waraji. These aren’t much to look at, but they’re comfortable to move in. Look at yourselves; isn’t it a little queer to go hiking in a suit and a dress?”
“I would also like to ask Jibril why she is wearing a swimsuit.”
“What? A selection of clothing arose, and I simply selected that which most resembled my usual attire.”
…By the way, according to Steph, who was still going to school like a good girl, Ino was, after all this, you know.
DAY 20
—They were all finally starting to get bored. For a change of pace, everyone decided to actually go to school. When they arrived, for some reason, there was some rumor going around that Sora had hurt (male) Steph’s feelings. After tracking Steph down at lunch to ask what the hell was going on—
“……!”
As soon as she saw Sora’s face, Steph grimly changed color and bolted.
“What’s this all about?”
“…That’s just…how the, game works…”
Getting the bomb symbol for doing nothing was, yeah, the design. But why was there one on—a guy (in in-game terms)?
“Hey, Plum, this game’s engine is broken.”
“…More importantlyyy, you really have forgotten the point of the game, haven’t youuu?”
Sora objected, Debug your damn game, but Plum just sighed sadly with distant eyes.
—Meanwhile—Ino. Still at the gate. Hands and knees…—
DAY 25
Nothing special happened. It was starting to look like an end of a summer journal.
DAY 30
Nothing special.
DAY 35
Nothing, etc.
DAY 39
—Why not try going to school tomorrow? After all, by now you did have to wonder how Ino was doing—
DAY 40
—The morning glow painted the sky. In front of the illuminated gate, there was a statue, gaunt and covered in barnacles, fused to the ground. This monument that exuded the impression of being some sort of solemn sacrament—
“…N-no way… Is this, Gramps?”
—made the party, after returning to school following a long absence, hold their collective breath.
—Even Sora and the rest, all of whom had cringed at Ino’s display…now found themselves at a loss for words. The figure that seemed on the verge of being encircled by a halo was—unmistakably and above all else—manly.
…Since the day the game began, that stolid figure had continued his vigil of genuflection before the queen, who every day passed silently by before him. Like a statue, without so much as a twitch. And now it had come to this. There were no words for it. No, more accurately, this form itself said it all eloquently, loud and clear. That is—
G i v e i t t o m e , b a b y!!
At the noble figure before him, Sora, as a fellow man, had no choice but to respectfully admit the truth. I see now… Romance is not a mind game.
—It is a demonstration of love. The old man embodied his own words. In which case—Sora was more than convinced that he himself had no conception of true love. Sora—staggering to the statue—no, the man—trembled.
“How small—how very small I’ve been,” Sora whispered as he compared himself with this paragon. For his own love—so petty, it must be said—could he remain fixed to the earth for forty days? Sora could only answer no. But this man, Ino, had done just that. Without distorting who he was, without fear of shame, he pounded on a heart exposed for all to see. Could there be a truer love than this—? There could not!
“I see… This, this is love, true love…”
“…In, your…dreams…”
Shiro promptly smacked down the near tearful epiphany suggested by Sora’s muttering. But—suddenly. Upon that sacred statue. Obscuring the morning sun—a shadow was cast. Tracing the shadow back to its owner, who slid elegantly through the water on her way to school—there was—the queen herself. Her gaze cut right past Sora to the sacred image—no, to Ino—stared.
—Could it be?
“…You jest—could it possibly be…?” The Shrine Maiden, who had been watching from a distance, couldn’t help but whisper. But the queen edged forward, still closer to Ino, and placed her hands softly upon his cheeks. At that moment…the statue moved as if at long last remembering it was alive. The barnacles, the earth, the caked stone sloughed off. Guided by the queen’s softly applied hands, Ino’s face rose. And—with that voice that enraptured all who heard it, with a smile more beautiful than all the treasures of the world—she spoke.
“…No way.”
—Ah, of course… The hearts of all echoed harmoniously.
“—Ngkh…”
But Ino gritted his teeth as if to say, it’s not over yet. It was true—his love had been rebuffed. He had eroded heroically, to dust. But—in this of all times, he had only one choice—! To fulfill the duty with which the Shrine Maiden had charged him—Ino selected a command from the UI.
—The heart icon with a plus. In other words—Plum’s cheat command. And—
“—Forgive me, O Queen! Hrm, nghhhhhhrrrrrr!!”
Soundly and with the power of a grappling sumo wrestler…
…he squeezed the queen’s breast. Yes—he executed the command to complete Plum’s rite.
“Wha?!”
Instantly, red light swirled around the queen, and her eyes opened wide.
—In the same instant…
“—Ah, ghk—!”
A complex pattern etched itself in Plum’s retinas, and she released a strangled cry. Her power perhaps having been seized all at once, her black wings for a moment turned the color of blood, and then she fell to sit on the ground.
“…Ah, ahh…”
But the queen, her breast still in Ino’s grasp, raised a thin voice. Her face flushed vermilion—and even Sora and the others could see that her heart was pounding.
“We—we did it—Now—!”
Even Plum announced confidently, “N-nowww, however much Mr. Ino may be a creep who thinks with his nether regions, regardless of what emotion the queen experiences as a resulllt…she’ll interpret it—as having fallen in looove!” Plum took advantage of the chaos to speak her mind, but she still sounded tired.
Even Sora thought it was a really twisted spell. But by whatever means, in the end, the queen was “in love.” Which meant the game was over.
—And then.
—Thus decisively rejecting Ino, the queen—as if flying—headed for school with a flap of her tail.
…
……
…Saaadneeess…—A bit of background music in that vein played through Sora’s mind. The man had burned out. Burned white—well, he’d always been a ball of white fur, but—pure white. The interface displayed the words: Ino Hatsuse: Defeated. But before the gate, having gone down—still, still—having burned out, but even still…
—His figure still holding the posture in which he had squeezed the queen’s breast—Ino Hatsuse had turned to ash. Reeling…Sora approached. He could not find the words.
—But, even so, he had to say it.
“Old far—I mean…Ino Hatsuse. I had you wrong.” Voice quivering, Sora searched for the proper eulogy. “You’re the real thing…a big—man. Too big for her…a woman with no eyes…”
However, Ino, as if on the verge of turning completely to ash and disappearing, even so, he managed a reply.
“—No, King Sora… It was that my love was not enough. Love is no crime.”
With these words—rejected, his rights stripped from him as he was ejected from the game—Ino gradually faded from the color of ash to become transparent—and then—
“Ino…? Ino, hey, hold on! No way?!”
Unaffected by Sora’s cry as Immanity’s king put his arm around Ino’s shoulder, the old man’s body vanished from the game.
—With that, the curtain fell on the high school career of Ino Hatsuse—a life seemingly so full but, in reality, composed entirely of genuflection. If he could do it once more…this time, he would leave no…
…It would be typical to leave some wussy lines like that at the end.
