by Jess Dee
“Amy.” His voice was low and gruff, barely audible. He pulled her to her feet and held her close. “Babe…that was incredible.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. For a long while that was all she was aware of. The sound of his breathing, uneven and ragged, and the feel of his arms wrapped around her.
A burst of laughter rang out from someplace miles away. It took a minute or so before the sound penetrated the fog surrounding her brain. When it finally did, reality hit her square between the eyes, the effect much like a glass of ice water. She yanked free from Daniel’s arms and stared at him, shocked.
He grabbed her hand and tried to pull her back into his embrace. “Amy?”
They were standing outside the gallery, for fuck’s sake. A few feet away from a room full of people and an army of reporters—all of whom had come to see Daniel and his pictures. What if somebody had walked outside?
“Morgan, what’s the matter?” He still breathed hard.
“Oh my God!” She was aghast. “Oh God, Daniel.” For endless seconds, she was incapable of saying anything else. Horrified, she whispered, “What did we just do?”
“We did good, Morgan,” Daniel said, his voice husky. “Let’s go do it again. Somewhere a bit more private.”
“What? Are you kidding?” Amy struggled to still her pounding heart. “We can’t do that again. Ever. Jesus, friends don’t do those sorts of things. And they especially don’t do it meters away from a very public function!” She had the most incredible orgasm at the hands of her best friend—at his exhibition. In return she’d given him a blowjob—right outside the gallery.
How the hell had she allowed herself to lose control? She was mortified.
“I’m not kidding.” Desire burned in his voice. “We just did it and I want to do it again. Let’s go.” He grasped her hand again.
“Go where?”
“My place, your place, I don’t care. Let’s just get out of here.”
“Are you crazy? We’re not going anywhere.” She jerked her hand away.
“Fine. Then I’m going to kiss you again, right here. We couldn’t stop at a kiss before, so there’s no reason this time should be any different.” He grabbed her by the waist and hauled her against him.
She felt an answering jolt of heat. “Daniel, stop it,” she bit out desperately. “We can’t do this here.”
“You’re not giving me much choice.” He rubbed against her, hard, and she nearly cried out at the sweet agony of it.
“No!” She struggled against him. “I meant we can’t do this at all. This is wrong.”
“There was nothing wrong a few minutes ago, when your body shook with pleasure. When you wrapped your lips around my cock and gave me the sweetest head imaginable.” The raw sensuality in his voice slipped straight into her belly and bounced around, causing sharp stabs of longing. He was right. There was nothing wrong a few minutes ago. But now, in the stark reality of the moment, everything was wrong. For starters, their friendship was headed down the absolutely wrong path.
Panic set in as he dipped his head to kiss her again. She couldn’t do this with Daniel. Wouldn’t.
“No!” This time she was more forceful. “I don’t want this.”
His reaction was immediate. He dropped his arms and stepped away from her, his posture tense and face unreadable. Her body cried out in protest.
“Shit, Danny, please don’t be angry.” She had to salvage the situation, make everything okay between them. “We can’t go there. Not you and me. We can’t take our friendship to that place. We’d be walking through a minefield.”
Run to him, her body yelled. Who cares about the consequences? But the responsible and cautious part of her mind was back, along with rational thought. Her logic was correct. Further physical intimacy with Daniel was out of the question. It would ruin their friendship. It might have done so already. “You have to understand what I’m saying. I’m terrified of losing you. Please,” she begged him. “Please don’t be angry.”
“Anger would hardly describe how I’m feeling.”
She breathed deeply, knowing exactly how he felt. Sated, sexy, stunned. Exactly how she felt. She reached out to touch him, to comfort him, but then thought better of it. Touching him would only ignite a fresh spark between them. Instead, she ran her hand through her hair.
“Look, let’s just forget this happened. Let’s go back inside and—”
“You want to forget this ever happened?” he interrupted her. “Forget that five minutes ago you were writhing in my arms, climaxing on my hand? Forget that you gave me a blowjob? That’s laughable.” There was no trace of humor in his voice, just barely controlled fury.
A fresh wave of horror washed over Amy. They were right outside the gallery, and she’d given him a blowjob.
Daniel did up his pants and tucked his shirt back in, shoving the top haphazardly into his pants. It lay disheveled and uneven against his waist. Even in this light, he looked untidy and out of sorts. She could only guess how she looked. Her hair must be a mess, her lips felt swollen. Her body still tingled in the aftermath of her pleasure. Heat burned in her cheeks and she knew they must be filled with color.
She reached over and straightened Daniel’s shirt, tucking in a loose corner.
“Shit, woman,” he rasped. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
Amy jumped back. “I…I’m sorry. I’m not thinking straight.”
“Neither of us is.” His tone was a little gentler now. “Come on. Let’s go back inside. It’s not doing either of us any good being out here alone. We can continue this…conversation another time.”
He picked up his jacket and put it on. Touching her elbow, he led her slowly to the door. As he pulled the door open, warm air and soft music hit her square in the face, and the full force of her panic assailed her again. Her lungs flailed and the breath caught in her throat. A single wall was all that had separated them from dozens of people. She’d lost control, given herself completely to the moment and to the passion—and anybody could have seen.
Oh, dear God. What have I done?
How would she ever get past this indiscretion? Could she ever look Daniel in the eye again without thinking about tonight? Of the incredible, illicit passion they’d shared?
Even as the last tingles of fading bliss shivered through her abdomen, Amy seriously doubted it.
Chapter Six
Amy sat at her desk and stared blindly out the office window. Thank God the day was almost over and she’d seen all her patients. She was exhausted, and her mind was plagued with matters that had nothing to do with work—blond-haired, blue-eyed matters with skilled hands and intoxicating kisses.
A yawn escaped her as she rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t slept a wink. All she did last night was toss and turn and relive her outrageous orgasm at the exhibition. And Daniel’s.
She had a lot of time to think and rationalize what they did. There was only one conclusion that made sense. Sex. It was all just sex. She hadn’t been with a man for such a long time and she was only human after all. She had needs. Daniel’s touch simply reminded her of those needs. It was the touch of a man and not the man himself that had driven her wild.
But why’d he have to go and touch her in the first place? How had things managed to get so out of hand so fast? One minute she and Daniel were celebrating his success and then the next she was on her knees, going down on him. What the hell happened between them? How could she lose control like that? Damn it, why didn’t she just say no? Or did she?
Distracted, she tapped her pen against her diary, alternately appalled by her wanton behavior and perplexed by her response to Daniel. To top it off, every time she thought about his hand touching her, making love to her—which was just about every other minute—her belly flopped over and moisture seeped between her legs.
God, she was a mess. Heat filled her cheeks as she relived, once again, the head-spinning intimacy of Daniel’s mouth on hers, his fingers inside her. She dropped her face in
her hands and let out a low moan.
“Sounds serious,” a voice said.
Amy didn’t bother looking up. “It’s worse.”
Maggie closed the door behind her and pulled up a chair. “You want to talk about it?”
Without lifting her head, Amy shook it. “Can’t. I’m too mortified.”
“Nothing could be that bad, could it?”
At those words, Amy lifted her head, knowing her eyes reflected her despair. “Oh Mags,” she said after a moment of silent deliberation. “I did something so stupid.”
Maggie’s voice was soft as she asked, “What did you do?”
“I kissed Daniel and…well, let’s just say things got a little carried away.”
Maggie stared at her, perplexed. “And that’s stupid because…?”
Amy sighed. “You know how he is with women. He goes through them the way you go through chocolate. Hunts them down, unwraps them, enjoys them and then discards the paper.”
Maggie nodded. “You’re afraid Daniel will do that to you. Enjoy your…um, sweet bits for a while, then toss you aside like an empty wrapper.”
Amy nodded. “Exactly. He’d find someone else before he was even finished with me. Then there goes our friendship down the toilet.”
“You’re scared he’d cheat on you?” Maggie asked in surprise.
“Of course he would. He’s a man, isn’t he?”
Maggie narrowed her eyes in speculation. “What are you worried about? That your friendship with Daniel may be jeopardized? Or that he might be unfaithful to you?”
“Both,” she answered without thinking. “First he’d cheat and then our friendship would be destroyed.”
“Amy, are you sure we’re talking about Daniel?” Maggie asked gently. “Or are you confusing him with Simon?”
Amy stared at her, dumbstruck. Simon hadn’t entered her head. The only person she’d thought about for the last twenty-four hours solid was Daniel.
Maggie touched her hand. “Honey, that’s not Daniel you’ve just described. Sure, he has trouble with commitment, but we both know he’s never cheated on a woman in his life. Don’t mistake him for Simon. He doesn’t deserve that.”
Amy sagged against the back of her chair. Of course that wasn’t Daniel’s style. Her friend would never cheat. “God, I’m pathetic. Nine months. You’d think I’d be over him by now.” How could Simon still have such a strong hold on her almost a year later?
“I do think you’re over him. I just don’t think you’re over the hurt. Yes, the bastard cheated on you, but don’t let it destroy your future. Don’t turn every man into Simon. That’s not fair to you. And projecting your anger onto Daniel isn’t fair to him.”
It was easy for Maggie to say. She was married and in a healthy relationship. Her parents were still together. She never had to deal with infidelity and cheating bastards. Still, she was right. Daniel wasn’t Simon. Daniel would never cheat on her. Nope, he would treat her like cherished gold—until he grew bored of their fun and games. Then he’d dump her and move on. Just like he always did with his lovers.
“Don’t you see, Mags? Whatever the reason, I never want to risk my friendship with Daniel. I’m just not willing to give him up. Not for a temporary fling.”
“Who’s to say it would be temporary?”
She stared at her friend, not bothering to answer. They both knew Daniel only did temporary.
“Okay,” Maggie conceded. “But don’t you think last night the two of you crossed some line? It might be hard to go back to just being friends now.”
“Hard, but not impossible,” Amy said with vehemence. “Especially if it means I’m going to save a friendship in the process.” A friendship that meant more to her than a fling ever could.
“And you think Daniel will accept that? He’s no pushover. If he wants to make something of last night, he will.”
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” Amy reached for the phone. “It’s time we spoke about it anyway. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let one incident ruin a lifetime of friendship.” She punched in Daniel’s number.
Maggie stood up. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
“Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime.”
—
Amy waited on a bench on the promenade above Coogee beach. The coldness of the winter evening seemed to have little effect on the activity around her. A group of noisy teenagers yelled and laughed as they ate fish and chips on the grass, while beside them a dad played soccer with his two sons. In front of her, the paved path was packed with joggers and walkers.
She checked her watch. It was still a little early. The sun hadn’t quite set yet, the sky behind her was strewn with orange and pink clouds. She arranged to meet Daniel at five-thirty and it was only a quarter past now. It gave her a few minutes to think about what she had to tell him.
It was quite simple, really. Last night was a mistake. She wanted Daniel to be her friend, not her lover. Daniel left his lovers. He was faithful to his friends. She would lay her cards on the table. Tell him that nothing more would happen between them. Their relationship would proceed platonically. Period.
Maggie’s astute insight about Simon had thrown her. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Was her friend right? Was she confusing him with Daniel? How could she? The two were so different.
Daniel was trustworthy. Simon was not.
There was never any love lost between the two men, they never saw eye to eye. But Daniel gave Simon a chance for her sake. Simon, on the other hand, made no effort to get along with Daniel. There were times when he even complained that Daniel was a threat to their relationship. He couldn’t accept that she had a male friend.
That wasn’t new to her. It was a recurring problem in all her relationships. Men were always uneasy about her friendship with Daniel. She’d thought Simon would get past his ridiculous misconception. Daniel was as much of a risk to their relationship as Maggie was.
It was ironic really that Simon was so threatened by another man. In the end, it was he who was the unfaithful one. After two years together, the lowlife shithead cheated on her. In their bed.
She shouldn’t have been so surprised. Men cheated all the time. Her father cheated on her mother. Repeatedly. Until he finally just upped and left. Why should Simon be any different?
Because she desperately wanted him to be different. She so desperately wanted a healthy, long-term relationship—with a faithful man—but she learned the hard way there was no such thing.
When she discovered his perfidy, she kicked him out immediately. However, the pain and the humiliation lasted longer than the break up. A lot longer. Thank God for Daniel during that time. He was her rock. More than once he simply held her while she cried, her tears leaving great wet blobs on his shirts.
When the anger set in, she screamed and ranted and raved, hurling glasses and dishes at the wall, envisioning Simon’s face everywhere they hit. Even that passed, thanks to Danny. He started serving her food and drinks with plastic plates and cups, complaining good-naturedly that he was sick of replacing his glasses every time she visited.
Slowly, the pain subsided and she started to get over the asshole. Now, nine months after she booted him out, she was upset all over again. Only now did she realize his infidelity had consequences other than the immediate hurt and loss. Because of Simon—and her father—she lost her ability to trust men. The fear of hurt and betrayal was just too strong.
Even worse than that, because of Simon and her father, Amy found herself questioning her trust in Daniel.
—
For a few moments Daniel stood unnoticed, watching her. The breeze rustled her hair and once again he felt his groin stir and harden. Shit, all he had to do was look at her and he got an erection. A kid had more control than he did. This was becoming ridiculous.
He guessed Amy must have been home to change. She wore navy sweat pants and a matching zip-up sweater which hung open, revealing a tight white T-shirt undernea
th. The pants hugged her hips and showed off her endlessly long legs.
A somber expression haunted her face. Knowing Amy as well as he did, he figured she’d done some heavy introspection, gone over every detail of the previous night in minuscule detail and come to the conclusion that what they did was wrong. She’d have found a million reasons why they shouldn’t have done it in the first place and a million more why they would never do it again.
That was okay with him. She needed time to accept their relationship was changing. Hell, it had taken him years to act on his own feelings. The fact that he existed in a state of permanent arousal was something he was learning to live with.
Besides, he’d only put the first half of his plan into action. The rest of it hadn’t even begun.
Amy turned towards him as he took a step closer. Her eyes closed briefly and when they opened her face was a neutral mask, devoid of the pain he just saw. She stood up.
“You looked so serious, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Just enjoying the view.” Her words were a little stilted, an obvious lie.
He said nothing and leaned over to kiss her cheek instead. He found it difficult to pull away. “How are you?” His need to touch her was so great he tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear.
Color tinged her cheeks and she stepped back. “Tired. It was a late night.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty bombed myself.” By unspoken mutual consent, they began to walk along the beachside path. “I didn’t get much sleep. I was way too wired when I got home.”
“Me too.”
He frowned. She was so detached. Guarded and reserved in a way she’d never been with him before.
Then her voice warmed up and her smile broke through, bringing the sun with it. “I’m so proud of you. The exhibition was awesome.”
Warmth curled through his stomach. Amy’s praise meant the world to him. “Thanks. Valerie phoned earlier to say she was pretty sure all of the pictures would be sold by the end of the week.”
