I admit I purposely go in the opposite direction if I think there is any affaire approaching me and on the whole you know I think it works out better for me living as I do now devoid of any relations except for my ‘friendships’ and Belle. If only one could stamp out a lingering envy which sometimes seizes one. Morgan was cheering at breakfast this morning, he told me about his childish fears. I wish we saw him more often.
[…] I wish I could offer you some panacea for your disease. But I know of none except reading Proust and so not thinking about it (my method). […] I am sorry to be such a dull friend. But you know underneath I am very sympathetic, and I send you my love.
Your C
Lecture PS I believe one’s actions ought to be as far as possible controlled by what is to one’s own interest, and since jealousy does not enhance one in anybody’s eyes it always seems to me good policy to stifle it, or conceal it. What do you say to that?
To Gerald Brenan
Ham Spray House
Good Friday, 6 April 1928
From pure old fashioned sentiments I send you my love for your birthday. For as you have so often observed fundamentally I am very conventional.
If I had not tetanus in my foot I should have written you one of my characteristic letters about the spring flowers, the birds, and my Ilex tree, but alas, striking an attitude this morning, as I surveyed my kingdom, I drove, in a triumphant gesture, my 4 pronged fork into the ground without observing my foot, in a white rubber boot, was below me. So typically, as Christ had 4 nails driven into his foot today 1928 years ago, or less, so I today crucified my flesh in memory of his death with four prongs. I go off tomorrow to that haven of fair women and Siamese cats. [Fryern House] If you were really at Broadchalke I might have dropped in on my way back and paid you a visit. But I expect you are already at Edgeworth’s leafy glades …
I send you my love for tomorrow.
Your C
Increasingly enamoured of Dorelia, and her two teenage daughters, Poppet and Vivien, Carrington was a constant visitor to the Johns at Fryern House.
To Lytton Strachey
Fryern Court, Fordingbridge, Hants
Tuesday [10 April 1928]
Darling Lytton,
As you may surmise this isn’t exactly a good house for writing letters, or posting them. I hope you are having lovely weather and feeling better for your change of life! The polished silver, and white bear skin rugs, and hot water cans before lunch in your bedroom. Life here is very pleasant and to my taste. I sleep with Vivien in that big room you had. She is a most amusing bedfellow. After breakfast everyone sits on Dorelia’s bed and talks. A strange spectacle the other morning like a scene in an African harem, this melange of recumbent females. But you can’t possibly imagine what it looked like and I cannot draw it […] After lunch today I went for a marvellous long ride with Henry [Lamb] on the Cranborne Downs. He was very friendly. The country was looking exquisitely beautiful. Long stretches of pale olive green Downs covered with little juniper bushes which look like misshapen black beasts bewitched and rooted to the ground. We came back about 5 o’ck and then sat with Dodo eating lovely honey and bread at the table […]
I wish you could be here and walk on these ravishing Downs with me. It is so very much your style of country. There is such a perfect mixture of wilderness, and Wordsworthian loveliness here. The villages have little brooks with daffodils growing at the water’s edge and charming pink thatched cottages. Tonight we go to the cinema at Fordingbridge and see a Wild West film!
Dodo sends you her love. She has given me a most lovely quilted counterpane from Provence as a present. Everything here is so lovely, the house, the garden, these females and the galloping horses. I am happy all day long. In fact if it wasn’t for a bearded El Greco saint living in Ilex bower, I think I could spend the rest of my days here, painting pictures and riding. I made a Zambalione [sic] last night for dinner and just as it was finished, Henry stepped backwards and knocked the bowl all over the carpet into the fireplace! I was making it by the fire in the dining room. But fortunately there were masses of eggs, so I quickly whisked up another one. The foot is much better. I was able to get a shoe on today. Give Dadie and Topsy my fondest love please. I send you all my love.
Your ever and always loving Mopsa
When Lytton finished his book, he and Carrington went on holiday to Provence.
To Gerald Brenan
Hotel Negre-Coste, Aix-en-Provence, France
Thursday, 10 May 1928
Amigo Mio,
I was sorry to hear that the wind blows at Coombe Bissett and disturbs your inside. Here a mistral blows which fills one’s lungs with dust and makes one’s nose run. I reached here on Wednesday morning with Lytton. We came in a marvellous train out of which one never moved from Calais to Marseilles. I like Aix extremely. It is very beautiful and full of gay young men and women who parade up and down the Boulevarde Mirabeau. Lytton has an infinite capacity for ‘flanning’ and sitting in cafes. We looked at the market this morning. Tomorrow I am going to swim in the mineral baths. This is a very good hotel with no Americans or English. And the boots is a negre [Negro]. I think we stay here some little time, till next week and then go to Arles and Nimes perhaps. I’d like to stay in the country and paint. It looked very beautiful from the train before we reached Aix, high grey rocks, and olive trees. Are you able to write in the country? I went to a party with Alix the night before I left London and there I met Arthur [Waley] and had a long chat with him. ‘Do you think Gerald will ever finish anything? I ask because one would like to read his books, as he is by far the most interesting writer I know.’ It was a rather good party. I met the lovely Kathleen Dillon again. (Now no longer lovely.) And danced a passionate dance with Dorothy Varda.fn37 But it seems very remote now I can’t go back, and describe it to you. This is a fine town for cakes. I expect in a few days I shall be very ill. What a pity English towns have nothing like this life. One’s head instantly becomes filled with a hundred ideas for painting. And even if one doesn’t paint it is pure pleasure to watch these curious black widows, old men with white moustaches, and portfolios, nuns herding petites peuples in white dresses to confirmations and the students of the University of Aix arguing with each other outside the cafes.
You were so charming the other evening. I enjoyed very much seeing you again. I was only sorry I had to go off so early. I expect we’ll be back after Whitsun.
My love,
Your C
While carrying on her sporadic affair with Beakus, Carrington spun erotic fantasies around the John girls.
To Poppet John
Ham Spray House
Thursday evening [summer 1928]
Darling Poppet Sweetie,
Thank you very much for your charming letter. I do not know quite why this abandoned creature and Tiber have crept into this letter.
You were a dear to write me one so soon as it was a great consolation for the sadness of leaving you. I was miserable at that lovely party coming to an end. I longed to slip up stairs & hide myself in your bed. But we must have another very soon. All the best parties that ever take place happen at Fryern on Sunday evenings. Perhaps it is because it is such a Holy Day, that all Sunday parties seem blessed.
I’ve never seen Dodo look so lovely as in that Pink trowser-dress. And so you’ve turned your coat about little Beakus – changed your tune miss! – He was wildly enthusiastic about you & Vivien, & the party, & the house. He didn’t know which, or what, he admired most! I wish I was young & lovely & could win a sailor’s heart, indeed I do.
But as long as I can keep my Poppet, I am contented.
I woke up this morning with a longing to come to Fryern. But then a letter came from Vivien saying you were going to Highcliffe Castle for lunch so I thought it wouldn’t have been much use. Also the rain came down again. So perhaps it wouldn’t have been a very good day for a jaunt. Do tell me what you did with Sailor Beakus when he arrived that afternoon! And did he go off with May [
unknown] alone? Or did Tommy sit behind! Nothing has happened here since that lovely Sunday.
I’ve been alone with Tiber. Everyone else is in London […]
It’s a pity I always spend half my time having hiccups in Dodo’s little room. I really mustn’t drink so much next time. Soon Darling Poppinjay I’ll come over & stay two days, & two nights. One night for P & one for V. Now don’t leave this passionate letter lying in the BATHROOM or I’ll murder you next time I see you. I went a ride on Belle last Saturday on the downs. She is quite well again now. Alec Penrose is the funniest sight you ever saw on Belle. He leans very far back & sits absolutely stiff with no expression on his face! And charges along like Roman emperor.
My fondest Love Darling
From Your Loving C xxxxxxxxxxx
To Poppet John
Ham Spray House
Tuesday [summer 1928]
My Darling Poppinmouth,
It seems a terribly long time since we lay together in that sweet embrace in the taxi on Monday. Although in truth it is only a week ago … and pray my little sweet what have you done since then? Please be an angel & write me a letter. I came back to Ham Spray the next day after I left you only to find Olive still ill, & no servants … so I was distinctly enraged. However Puss is much better. He lies in the sun in a bank of crocuses as I write to you at my feet. Darling Poppet you can’t think how much I enjoyed France.fn38 I felt afterwards I had been dingy dim company for you. But the truth was I felt rather mouldy most of the time with a pain inside. But that didn’t prevent me enjoying myself terrifically & thinking you lovely.
Our car is still being mended so unfortunately it’s impossible for me to buzz over, & kiss my princesses …
I suppose a hundred lips have pressed yours since I last drove in that romantic taxi to Chelsea. But mine I assure you madame have been surrounded by wire netting ever since.
My Fondest Love
Your Very Fond Carrington
xxxxxxx
To Julia Strachey
Ham Spray House
Saturday morning [June 1928]
Dearest sweet,
… [Tiber comes] through the open window carrying a large rat which he lays at his master’s feet. Master shrieks ‘Horrid creature. Take it away.’ Poor Tiber. Life was ever thus. Take it away. How often has one’s offering of love laid at the toes of our beloved been greeted by those cutting words ‘Take it away.’
But madam
Keep my counterpane
Let not in vain
My gift from Spain
or from Provence as the case may be.
So write to me again. My life is nothing but a whirl of carpenters, engineers and schemes for improvements. I’m getting quite a mechanic over the car now. But perhaps it would be better if I did a little less mechanising and a little more … who can say? I wish I had a lover. Yes, just this morning I thought how nice it would be with the sun shining in my room and nothing to do, as it was 6 o’ck. But I read Borrow in bed and soon forgot and now breakfast is over and there are joints to supervise and raspberries to pick and no time for lovers.
To Sebastian Sprott
Ham Spray House
Saturday, Whitsun 1928
But ‘any way my darling’ it’s very nice to get a letter from you. Even although you can’t come and stay […] Did you enjoy the Pavilion? Did you have ‘heart-to-hearts’? I suppose Peter [Lucas] was in high feather now that Topsy is alone on her beach once more. What brutes men are! He-men I mean, my dear. I hope Arthur [Waley] told you what a success he was with all of us here, and how devoted I am to him now. He was rather crushing to my advances I thought, actually! But as faint lady never won Chinese heart, I suppose I mustn’t complain. Lytton has just gone off to Sweden. It’s queer how much I miss him. He’s a tremendous prop you know to my existence. Ralph and Frances are here for Whitsun. No one else. Ralph came back this morning from Brittany, in high spirits. But it’s slightly like going back to look at Tidmarsh. He brings back a sort of past life and makes me see that I’m rather ‘out’ of the present. I slightly resent for some reason, and obvious reason I suppose, feeling out of it and going off by myself and being unable to be enthusiastic about Brittany. Suddenly in the middle of tea this afternoon I felt cross I had no one to go to bed with when I wanted to. But then, if I had, I should probably be cross because it wasn’t to my taste! I rather envy you your animal variety. My life is rather too untouched by human hand at moments.
Reading Phèdre with Lytton of course is a very good substitute, curious, as it may seem. I mean I get tremendous pleasure you know by living here. It’s so lovely, and Lytton is such an angel to me. After Cambridge next week I’m going to stay at Fryern with Dorelia and their exquisite little sirens. That will be perfect. Then I come back here and probably linger while the central heating is put in and paint 500 tiles for Margaret Waley. Would you like a tile to stand your tea pot on? […] I say you mustn’t go to Rome. Norman Douglas wrote to Lytton last week and said it was so hot in Florence he had flown to the mountains. But of course it may have altered now. The cold here is icy, and one shivers in one’s drawers. How was Jim? Not know Jim in his striped bathing dress, what do you take me for? My new studio is going to be lovely. I shall when it’s finished, completely change my character and become a very hardened recluse and paint pictures all day. Then all these spinster ravings will no longer blast my letters to you. Now I must go and play badminton, or it will look as if I’m sulky, which I am not, or cooking the dinner, which I’m not either […] I wish you were available more often. Really that weekend was one of the nicest we have had all year. I feel I never tell you quite how much I love seeing you dear Sebastian. But in a whisper I do enormously. What is Oundle life like? Any sprees? […]
Lytton read me Zadigfn39 last night, very much to my taste. I go to the Cricket Hut on Tuesday till Friday to paint Dadie’s room. Oh why did I ever embark on that foolish business, mere agony to me and mere mumbo jumbo, as my father used to say, to Dadie. Do write to me and tell me how you are. I hope the health bears up.
Your most loving Carrington
To Poppet John
Ham Spray House
Tuesday, August 1928
Sweet Darling Poppet – there isn’t anything to write about since I left London on Thursday.
I came down here on Friday with Ralph. Dodo will have told you about a fine dinner party she asked me to at the Eiffel Tour given by Stulick.fn40 I got dreadful hiccups & drank so much!! I slept at Mallord Street in your sheets – very romantic! – and Dodo called me in the morning with a beautiful breakfast on a tray, in a Chinese silk dressing gown looking like a Mongolian Queen. I think she looks very, very lovely in that Chinese dress. Don’t you? – The next morning I spent in the British Museum helping Lytton find pictures for his book on Queen Elizabeth. Afterwards he gave me a fine lunch at the ‘Ivy’. At the next table to us sat Ivor Novello & Noel Coward, & two actress-looking hags. I thought Ivor Novello was rather a little rat. But I was distinctly taken with Noel Coward, who looked gloomy & fascinating, with a face that shone like Bronze. I expect he uses a Pink-Brown powder.
I’m very cross (not really because you know I find it almost impossible to be cross) with Horace because he promised to bring his Mavis down to Ham Spray for lunch a week ago on Sunday, & never came, & never wrote to say why he didn’t come.
[…] I’ve done nothing but paint pictures on tiles this last week so feel very stoopid in the head – won’t you get Dodo to drive you over to lunch one day? Only warn me early on the telephone when you start. Have you been making any new dresses? When do you go to London to stay with Edie?fn41 When you do, you must tell me & I’ll come up for a few days and we’ll have a fine party!
[…] My new studio is a lovely room & one will be able to act some plays in it as it has a fine place for a stage. I think of you very very often my Darling Poppet. Pray do not forget me or love me less.
My love to Queen Dodo
And a great deal to
you
xxx your adoring C
To Poppet John
Ham Spray House
[n.d.]
[letter incomplete]
Sad picture of young girl who went mad and thought a ‘Forest of Trees’ were young men. Two little p [Partridge] birds mourn her sad fate. ‘Better love a bird than a wooden tree’ they say.
Now I must get up as its very late, and I sit writing to you in bed in my red silk nightdress with Tiber drinking the milk out of my jug on the tea tray. Your midnight bathe and sleeping in the forest sounded very exciting. We still have rasberries. Oh but it takes a forest of raspberries to tempt Miss Poppet over to Ham Spray now. Now I really must get up and leave my love dreaming in her Pine Forest
Farewell Baroness de Foret and remember the 4th of August, not the 5th of November. Cats gone mad and had disappeared under the wardrobe. From your very loving honey sweet C xxxxxxxx
To Poppet John
41 Gordon Square, London
Tuesday, August 1928
My Darling Sweetest Poppet,
I write with a heavy heart for to tell you the truth ‘life’ & its realities are a very different affaire from the loveliness & gaiety of Fryern. Very different as you will soon find out! When we got back to Ham Spray we found nothing but CONFUSION & CHAOS boilers & pipes everywhere. No hot water, no cold water, no water in the W.C. and two very plain disagreeable men stumping all over the house in dirty boots. So I cooked Ralph some eggs & ate some cold pies & then we went off to London. Ralph in a fine rage at the mess the central heating men are making & trying to pretend it was all my fault – but I soon convinced him it wasn’t! London seemed very grey & dreary after our lovely weekend. The elephant [Ralph] fell into a great melancholy & mine was even greater.
Carrington's Letters Page 39
