by Brenda Novak
Briefly, Katie closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Did she have to be humiliated in front of everyone who’d ever meant anything to her? How had it come to this? She was tempted to blame Andy and the general unfairness of life. But she was the one who’d made the decision to leave with him. She was the one who’d softened and let him back in her bed that day he was crying. And, if she didn’t want to be a charity case, she was the one who’d have to figure out a way to solve her problems.
“Thanks for the offer.” She stood with as much dignity as she could muster. “But I’m afraid I won’t be able to accept.”
Mike’s eyes widened. “Rebecca said you don’t have any other options. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to salvage what I can of my self-respect.” The weariness that had pressed her back into bed whenever she’d tried to get up during the past couple of days stole over her like a lengthening shadow. But she managed to lift her head high and walk out.
She found Booker leaning against his truck, chewing on a toothpick. He watched her cross the driveway, wearing the lazy, somewhat insolent expression that was so characteristic of him—and so deceiving. He never appeared to be paying close attention to anything or anyone, but Katie knew nothing ever slipped past him.
“How’d it go?” he asked.
The way Booker took the toothpick out of his mouth and straightened told Katie he already knew something was wrong. He’d probably noticed the stiffness of her walk the moment she stepped out of the ranch office.
She wished she could hide in a dark corner, away from the rest of the world. But time out wasn’t an option. “It might be a while before I can pay you back for these new boots,” she said, brushing past him.
He turned and, from the corner of her eye, she saw him raise his eyebrows. “What does that mean?”
“It’s not going to work out.”
“But you had the job before you ever came here.”
“That’s just it.” She climbed into his truck and shut the door, forcing him to get in if he wanted to continue the conversation. But when he got behind the wheel, he didn’t say anything. He started the truck and, except for the radio station playing Van Halen, they drove to the farmhouse in silence.
“So what’s the plan?” he asked as they turned into the driveway.
She’d been working that out, ever since they’d left High Hill Ranch. Now she took a deep breath and shifted toward him. “I want to make a deal with you.”
BOOKER CUT THE ENGINE. “What deal is that?” He resisted the urge to check his watch. Delbert and Chase had been expecting him at work for quite a while now, but it didn’t look as though he was going to get there anytime soon.
“I don’t have any money, and I don’t have a place to stay.”
This was not late-breaking news. “You just walked away from both,” he pointed out.
She grimaced and stared out the window for a few seconds before turning soulful eyes on him. “Letting you buy me these boots was hard enough. I just couldn’t…Tell me, would you ever accept that kind of charity?”
“I’ve never been pregnant and unable to do what I normally do,” he hedged.
“Yes or no?” Her voice demanded absolute honesty.
He sighed. “What’s your offer?”
“If you’ll let me stay here, I’ll do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for you and Delbert, to cover my rent.”
Booker didn’t see how this solution got her out of his life. Having her wash his boxers and change his sheets seemed pretty much the opposite. “How can you do that without risking the baby?”
“I’ll do it a bit at a time, rest in between, be careful not to overdo.”
“That’s your plan?”
“Not all of it, but—” she fidgeted with the bottom of her sweater “—I’m afraid you won’t go for the next part.”
Booker wasn’t sure he wanted to go for the first part. What had Mike Hill said or done to blow what Rebecca had arranged? He hesitated, but his curiosity finally got the best of him. “Try me.”
“I need a computer. I want you to help me sell the Cadillac so I can buy one and pay you back for the repairs.”
“You want a computer instead of a car?”
“Yes.”
“What for?”
“So I can start a home-based business.”
“In my home?”
Her gaze never wavered, but her knuckles turned white as she clasped her hands in her lap. “Just until I make enough money to get out on my own.”
“What type of home business did you have in mind?”
“I’m going to design Web sites. When I was in San Francisco, I worked with a designer to construct a site for the salon. I don’t have a background in graphics or computers, but the designer said I have a natural eye. She also told me it’s much easier than it looks. And everyone liked what I came up with.”
Katie was supposed to be packing up to move over to High Hill Ranch….
“How long do you think it would take to get this business going?” he asked.
“Maybe six months.”
“And the baby’s coming in four.”
She caught her lip between her teeth. “Right.”
He had to give her credit for being straightforward. But he didn’t want to face Katie with Andy’s baby every time he came home. “That’s it?” he said. “That’s your plan?”
“That’s all I’ve got at the moment,” she said softly.
Booker knew he’d be crazy to risk having Katie so close. But this went beyond romantic hurts and confusion. This was one heart, stripped absolutely bare, appealing to another for a simple hand up. And six months wasn’t so long….
The situation reminded Booker of ten years ago, when he’d just gotten out of prison and didn’t have a penny to his name. If it hadn’t been for Hatty…His grandmother had been the one to tip the scales in his favor, because she’d absolutely refused to give up on him, no matter how bad he tried to convince her he was. She’d made a profound impact on his life. Surely, in her honor, he could put aside his own preferences…for a few months.
This one’s for you, Hatty. “I like fried chicken,” he said, forcing back a sigh. “And Delbert likes meat loaf.”
TAMI ROGERS STARED at the phone. She longed to pick it up and call her daughter. Sometimes she dialed Booker’s house just to hear Katie answer.
“Don’t even think about it,” Don said, glancing over from where he sat in his recliner, holding the television remote in one hand. He knew exactly what Tami wanted to do because she was tempted every night. Especially when it grew late and she felt her loneliest.
“But I went by Hair and Now today, and she wasn’t there,” Tami said. “As far as I can tell, she hasn’t been there all week. When will she start working?”
“I don’t know, but we’ve drawn a line, and we can’t cross it,” he told her. “You heard what Pastor Richards said. Are you going to ignore him the way Katie ignored us?”
“No,” she said. But was it truly necessary to shun their only daughter? Granted, when she’d first heard of Katie’s illegitimate pregnancy, Tami had been shocked and angry. She’d been angry ever since Katie left with that no good bum two years ago. But now that Katie was back, worry was quickly eating away her resolve. “The only thing is—”
“We’ve been through this before, Tami. We have to let Katie suffer the consequences of her actions, so she’ll feel some remorse and change her life. ‘The ultimate goal,’ Pastor Richards said, ‘is to reclaim her soul for God.’ And we agreed. Don’t you want her to get back on the straight and narrow?”
“Of course I do, but…”
“But what?”
“I just keep seeing her standing on the porch in the rain. And wondering why she isn’t working.”
“She’s fine. Fine enough to be staying with Booker Robinson,” he muttered.
Tami didn’t bother to mention that Katie wouldn’t be at Booker’s if they’d taken her in. Or that
she didn’t see how associating with Booker was doing Katie’s soul any good.
“All people in church can talk about is what a disappointment our sweet Katie has turned out to be,” Don said. “They’re holding her up as an example to their own kids. And now we’re facing the same thing with Travis. If we don’t stick to our guns on this, he’ll keep acting up the way he has for the past few months.”
Don had a point. He always managed to convince Tami by bringing up the trouble they were having with their fourteen-year-old son. Travis was hanging out with the wrong crowd, ditching school, flunking classes and getting into fights. She was desperate to get him straightened out.
“I suppose you’re right,” she said. Then, because she knew she’d break down if she didn’t, she went to bed although it was only eight o’clock.
KATIE COULD HEAR THE television in the living room and, for once, she couldn’t sleep. She supposed it was because of all the thoughts whirling through her head about what she was going to do and how she was going to do it. Regardless of the cause, her wakefulness was a refreshing change from the depression that had buried her in such a dark hole. If her Internet business succeeded, she could take care of herself and her baby on her own terms. She’d be able to work with the baby around, which meant she wouldn’t have to hire a baby-sitter and, depending on her ability to build her business, she could make a lot of money. She could do even better than she could cutting hair.
Her idea had so many advantages to recommend it, she couldn’t believe it hadn’t occurred to her before. She’d lived in the big city, witnessed how many people made their living via computers.
But she was still frightened. There were so many variables. Would she be able to get enough money for her car to pay Booker and buy the computer and software she needed? Would she be able to manage without a car once she let the Cadillac go? Would she be able to learn everything she needed to know from reading books on Web-building and design? Most people in Dundee didn’t even have Internet service, so she couldn’t build her business by relying on local contacts. If she sold her car and her business failed…
Her baby moved, a subtle reminder that focusing on her fears wouldn’t help. Putting a hand to her stomach, Katie smiled for probably the first time since the pregnancy test had come back positive. “Everything’s going to be okay, baby. I’ll take care of you,” she whispered.
The television went off and she heard Booker climbing the stairs. It felt strange to be living under the same roof with him, strange that he was so indifferent to her after everything that had once passed between them.
She remembered the day, not long after she’d met him, when he took her down by the river. It was autumn and cold already, but after lunch they’d dared each other to go into the water. Booker had eventually taken off his shirt and gone in. She’d realized then just how beautiful his body was. When she refused to join him, he’d carried her in with him and kissed her for the first time. He’d bent his head to hers, right there in the icy water, her whole body freezing cold except where his hot mouth connected with hers.
He was an expert kisser. Katie had to give him that. She should’ve known that he was bound, at some point, to claim her virginity.
Did Booker ever think about that day? He probably thought more about the night she’d told him she wanted to stop seeing him and start seeing Andy, which made her curious as to why he was letting her move in with him. Stranger than his generosity in letting her stay was the fact that he hadn’t belittled her ideas, hadn’t complained about her turning Mike down. He’d simply listened in silence at dinner, nodding occasionally as she’d gone on and on about the possibilities of making it big in Web design. When she’d asked him for his opinion on the value of the Cadillac, he told her he thought it was worth about three thousand dollars. He’d even offered to park it out front at his garage in hopes of generating buyer interest. And she didn’t get the impression it was because he was worried about the repair money.
Getting up to use the bathroom, she tried to put Booker out of her mind. She didn’t need anything to confuse her right now. She had enough to deal with. But when she walked across the hall, she bumped into someone going to the same place and knew instinctively it wasn’t Delbert.
“Go ahead,” Booker muttered, pulling away.
“Booker?” she said before he could retreat to his room.
“What?”
“Do you really think I can get three thousand dollars for that old car?”
“You should be able to get that much.”
“Good. I called the Web designer I was working with in San Francisco today—”
“Was that what the two-fifty you left on the counter was all about?”
She’d given him the last of the change she had in the bottom of her purse. “I wanted to reimburse you for the call. Anyway, she said I should be able to get a quality computer, monitor and printer for around fifteen hundred. And the software I’ll need should run me about nine hundred.”
“What software are you going to need?” he asked.
“She said I could get StudioMX from Macromedia, which will include Dreamweaver for creating pages and sites, Fireworks for building graphics and Flash for building complex animations. It also includes a few other things, but I’m not sure yet what it all means.”
“Have you ordered Internet service?”
“Not yet. I’m waiting until I sell the Cadillac. How long do you think that’ll take?”
“The market’s soft right now. Around here, there’s no telling.”
She hoped it would be soon. With a baby on the way, she felt as if time was like sand running through an hourglass, forever dwindling. For her child’s sake, she had to be much better prepared to make a living—and soon.
He started moving back to his bedroom, but she stopped him again. “Did you…did you like dinner, Booker?” she asked. “Do you think it’s going to be okay to have me here?”
“Dinner was good,” he said.
“I was hoping maybe we could be friends. You know, like you and Rebecca.”
“I’ve never slept with Rebecca. I’ve never even wanted to.”
“Well, you don’t want to sleep with me anymore. That should count for something, right?”
“Just let me know when you’re out of the bathroom,” he said.
CHAPTER SEVEN
BOOKER COULD TELL THAT Katie was feeling better. She was getting up in the mornings, showering and riding with him and Delbert into town, where she studied at the library all day. Then she caught a ride home with him or someone else going the same way and started dinner before doing laundry and cleaning house. A couple of times, Booker had to tell her to go easy. He was afraid she was working too hard and might hurt the baby. But she insisted she felt no pain. And he found that having her around wasn’t nearly the torture he’d expected. Life could certainly be worse than having someone wash his clothes and cook him a hot meal every day. He and Katie had even started playing chess at night while Delbert took Bruiser out for a walk.
“So, did you get any calls on the Cadillac this afternoon?” Katie asked as they sat across the chess board, a week after their new arrangement had begun.
Booker hadn’t received one call on that car since the day he posted the For Sale sign. But he couldn’t keep telling Katie “no.” After her depression those first few days, he was afraid that if good news didn’t come soon, she’d lose her newfound energy and optimism.
He pretended to study the board so he wouldn’t have to answer, but the second he moved his bishop, she asked him again.
“Booker?”
“Hmm?” He finally looked up and was pleasantly surprised to notice that one week of eating regular meals and having a sense of purpose had made a big difference in Katie. Already the dark circles beneath her eyes were gone, and her normal color was returning.
“Has anyone called about the Cadillac?” she asked.
“One guy,” he lied.
Her face lit up. “Reall
y? Who was it?”
“Just someone passing through town.”
“What did he say?”
Her pressing questions and the eagerness in her voice made Booker wish he’d stuck with being honest. “He just stopped by and looked at it, that’s all.”
“Did he make an offer?”
“Not yet.”
“Do you think he might?”
Booker rubbed his chin and pretended to concentrate, hoping she’d let the conversation go. He saw a move he could make with his knight that would seriously damage her ability to defend her king.
Predictably she kept badgering him about the car. “Well?”
“He could. I don’t know.”
“I’ll go as low as twenty-five hundred,” she said. “If anyone mentions anything close to that, take it, okay?”
She’d said so dozens of times, but he didn’t point that out. He knew she was just nervous. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Thanks.” She moved her queen across the board to take his rook.
“That’s what I get for letting you distract me,” he grumbled, realizing she’d just ruined the fancy move he’d planned for his knight.
“What did I do to distract you?” she asked.
She couldn’t fit into her jeans anymore and had to wear them unbuttoned at the top because she didn’t have any maternity clothes. And her breasts seemed bigger every day. Booker found that pretty distracting. But the desperation in her voice was why he’d lied to her in the first place. “Nothing.”
After a few more moves, he managed to take her queen, which went a long way toward making him feel better about having lost his rook.
“Do you think maybe we should advertise the Cadillac in one of those car magazines in Boise?” she mused as he closed in on her king.
Now he knew she was distracted because she was usually much tougher to beat. Sometimes he couldn’t beat her at all. “No one’s going to drive all the way out here to look at such an old car when there’re so many in the city,” he said. “Especially during the winter.”
