by Brenda Novak
“Booker?”
She caught him as he was walking out of her bedroom. “Yeah?”
“Do I just not…do it for you?” she asked.
He let his breath go in a long sigh as he looked back at her. “It’s not you, Ashleigh.” It was Katie, but he’d be damned if he’d admit that to anyone else. “It’s me,” he said. Then he left, cursing his own stubborn heart.
KATIE SAT AT THE KITCHEN table in a pair of Booker’s sweats, because she could no longer fit into her own, drinking a cup of herbal tea. Through the large side window, she could see Delbert playing with Bruiser outside, just as she could see the end of the drive—and the empty spot where Booker normally parked.
He hadn’t come home last night. She was sure of that. She’d called the Honky Tonk at closing time and been told he’d left with Ashleigh Evans, so she was equally sure she knew where he’d gone. What she couldn’t figure out was why the thought of Booker with another woman made her feel so bad.
Her hand shook as she brought the cup to her lips. She didn’t have any emotional reserves. She’d been agonizing over whether or not to give up the baby. She’d been trying to learn a lot in a very short time. She’d virtually severed whatever ties remained with her parents. The last thing she needed was the added distraction and anxiety of dealing with a man. Any man. Especially an old boyfriend she obviously still had feelings for.
Trying to swallow the lump in her throat that made it difficult to speak, she picked up the phone and called Mike Hill. It was early, but she knew he’d be awake. The Hills rose before dawn and worked until well after dark. She’d heard Rebecca complain about Josh’s long hours before.
“High Hill Ranch.”
Katie cleared her throat. “Mike?”
“Yes?”
“It’s Katie Rogers.”
“Hi, Katie. How are you?”
“Fine. Listen, I was wondering…if you were to lease one of those cabins on the ranch—the ones you mentioned earlier—how much would the rent be?”
“They’re tiny, Katie, just a place to sleep really, so not much,” he said.
“Can you give me a figure?”
“Four hundred a month would be fair, I guess, since we have a cook who handles meals.”
Even better. “Fine. I was—I was hoping maybe I could make a trade with you.”
“What kind of trade?”
“If you let me stay in one of those cabins for six months, I’ll make sure you receive twenty-four hundred dollars in Internet services.”
“Internet services?”
“I design Web sites now. I was just on the Internet last night and realized that you and Josh don’t have a Web presence.”
He sounded surprised by her businesslike tone. “That’s true. We’ve been meaning to hire someone. We just haven’t got around to it yet.”
“Then you understand how a Web site can be used for promotional purposes.”
“Yes. We have Internet service here and use it occasionally, but I know we’re not making the most of it.”
“Great. I’d like to handle your Web site for you. I’m new in the business, so I don’t have a sample of my work to show you, at least not yet. But I’ve really learned a lot. And I’m a dedicated worker. I think I can create a Web site that will show High Hill Ranch off to perfection. I promise that, at a minimum, you’ll get your money’s worth.”
She bit her lip, terrified by what his answer might reveal. Would he see the value behind her offer? Or would he let her have the cabin out of charity, the way he’d tried to give it to her before?
She needed it to be the former and was inordinately pleased when she heard grudging respect, even a little excitement, in his response. “Sure,” he said. “I’d be willing to do that. I’ve been telling Josh that we need to get a Web site. And a trade won’t cost us much of anything.”
“Wonderful.” Covering her eyes with one hand, Katie breathed a sigh of relief. But her relief was short-lived. Outside, she heard a vehicle pull up and knew that Booker had finally come home.
“When can I move in?” she asked.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Now all she had to do was figure out how to get back and forth to the doctor in Boise. Rebecca? Mona? “I’ll let you know,” she said and hung up just as Booker came through the door.
She turned, expecting him to say something, possibly even ask her who she was talking to so early in the morning, but he didn’t. Opening the cupboard, he pulled out the Tylenol and swallowed at least three tablets with one gulp of water.
Katie made fists inside the overlong sleeves of Booker’s sweatshirt. “Have a good time last night?”
Booker’s glance was brief, and he didn’t answer.
She took a deep breath. “That good, huh?”
Again, no answer. He started toward the stairs just as Delbert poked his head inside. “Booker?”
Booker winced as if Delbert’s overloud voice had cleaved his head in two. “Yes?”
“Aren’t we going to work today?”
“I just told you outside, we’re leaving as soon as I shower.”
“Oh, that’s right. Are you mad at me, Booker?” Delbert asked, looking worried. “Huh?”
A muscle jumped in Booker’s cheek, but his voice was low and calm. “No.”
“I’ll be waiting for you out here, then,” he said. “I’m ready whenever you are, Booker, okay? I’m all ready.”
With a slow and careful nod, Booker continued up the stairs.
WHEN BOOKER GOT OUT OF the shower, he found the sweats Katie had appropriated for her use folded neatly on his bed, which surprised him. She didn’t have any sweats of her own. Her old ones didn’t fit anymore, and her clothing budget hadn’t stretched to include such extras. If she was giving his back, what was she planning to replace them with?
He wasn’t sure, but he was eager enough to get out of the house that he wasn’t going to worry about it. His head still hurt, despite the painkillers, and he was afraid that if he stopped for a few seconds, he’d wind up thinking about last night, which he definitely didn’t want to do.
Pulling on some faded jeans, he shoved the money wadded up on his dresser into his pocket, yanked on a shirt and a pair of work boots, and immediately started downstairs. That was when he realized that something else was a little odd. He could hear Katie in her bedroom, crossing the floor, opening and closing drawers, then crossing back again.
What was she doing?
Changing directions, he knocked at her door.
She opened it, wearing some of her new maternity clothes. “Yes?”
His eyes cut to the bed behind her, where he could see the corner of an open suitcase. “What’s going on?”
“I’m moving out,” she said, her face a little flushed.
Booker felt as though she’d just knocked the wind out of him. That he’d expected something like this, that he’d invited it by going home with Ashleigh last night, didn’t make the reality any easier to accept. “Why?”
She let go of the door, and he pushed it wider as she hurried to gather her belongings.
When she didn’t answer, he said, “Katie?”
“I don’t want to get in your way anymore, that’s all.”
“You’re not in my way.”
She kept her head down while she packed.
“Does this have anything to do with Andy?”
“Andy?” She looked at him as though he was crazy. “No.”
“He’s back, you know. I saw him last night.”
That got her attention. Dropping the shoes she’d been trying to stuff into her suitcase, she sagged onto the bed. “You’re kidding, I hope.”
“No.”
“Do you know why he’s here?” Her voice was completely deadpan.
“My guess is he’s come to take you home. What do you think?”
She stared off through the window for a long moment. Then with a slight shake of her head, she got up and resumed packing, more slowly thi
s time. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “I don’t want anything to do with him.”
“Then what’s all this about?” Booker motioned to the clothes strewn across her bed. “Is it because I didn’t come home last night?”
“No,” she said, but he knew it was. Somehow he’d known even at the Honky Tonk that going home with Ashleigh would destroy whatever relationship was developing between him and Katie. Wasn’t that the real reason he’d finally done it? He’d pushed Katie out the door before she could walk out on her own.
“Where are you going?” he asked, the dull ache throbbing in his chest matching the pain in his head. “To your parents’ house?”
“Absolutely not.” She struggled to latch her suitcase. “I’ve rented a cabin from Mike Hill.”
“How?”
“I’m going to create a Web site for him in exchange for room and board.”
Booker tried to search for some logical reason she should stay, even though he knew her leaving was probably best. He couldn’t offer her anything more than he’d offered two years ago. “You just got your Internet service,” he said.
“Mike has service at the ranch. I’ll use his.”
“What do you want me to tell Andy if he calls?”
“Whatever you do, don’t tell him where I am.”
“Katie—”
She finally got her suitcase latched and tried to lift it. He moved to intercept her before she could hurt herself or the baby. For a moment, they were only inches apart. Booker could see tears caught in her eyelashes, which made the tightness in his chest that much worse. He watched one slip down her cheek and raised a finger to wipe it away. “What do you want from me, Katie?” he said softly.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nothing. I don’t want anything from you, except a ride to High Hill Ranch.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
IT TOOK KATIE ONLY a couple of hours to get settled into her new house. When Mike had said the cabins were small, he wasn’t exaggerating. Strung in a chain, like an old-time cabin-style motel, they were only twenty feet square. Each cabin had one room with a small kitchenette in the corner, a sofa sleeper along one wall, an inexpensive oak entertainment center with a small TV sitting across from the sofa, a desk and a chair to the side, and a bathroom barely big enough for a tiny shower. There would scarcely be room for the baby’s bassinette, provided she ever got one. Katie supposed she could make the baby a bed out of blankets on the floor, but that seemed too primitive, even to her.
She glanced at the book she was just slipping into her desk. The Adoption Option. After she’d finished unpacking, she’d taken some time to read real-life experiences of mothers who’d given up their babies. In a candid, nonjudgmental way, the book had discussed why they’d done what they’d done and how they were coping with the results. But reading wasn’t making Katie’s decision any easier. She was still torn, and she had so many other things to think about.
A vision of Booker’s stony expression as he dropped her off this morning flashed through her mind. Her new place seemed strangely quiet and lonely without him, Delbert and Bruiser. She felt as if she was missing her family. But she knew she’d made the right decision. She couldn’t go from living with Andy to living with Booker, because she didn’t know how to be friends with Booker. Their relationship didn’t fit any one category, and that had never been more apparent than last night when he’d spent the night with Ashleigh. Katie had felt all sorts of things she shouldn’t have felt as a friend: pain, betrayal, even envy. She knew what it was like to lie beneath Booker. Knew the way he tasted and smelled and moved—
A knock at the door made her stomach muscles tense. Booker had said Andy was in town. Which meant it was probably only a matter of time before he found her.
“Who is it?” she asked, creeping closer. Her door was pretty bare and functional. It had a lock but nothing as elaborate as a peephole.
“Mike.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Katie swung open the door.
Mike looked up from arranging a white plastic chair and a geranium on the small concrete slab that served as her front porch. “I brought you a couple of things,” he said.
Katie was surprised by the gesture. Mike always seemed so preoccupied with work, she hadn’t expected him to take special notice of her.
“Are the other cabins occupied yet?” She glanced down the row of bare concrete slabs, none of which had a chair or flowers.
“Most of them. We have one empty.” He nodded to his left. “It’s down there at the end, but we haven’t furnished it yet and probably won’t this year because we’ve hired all the ranch hands we’re going to hire.”
“Where is everyone?” she asked.
“Still working. I’m sure you’ll meet them as they come straggling in.” He checked his watch. “They’ve got an hour or so yet.”
She eyed her new chair and plant. “Thanks for the porch accessories.”
“No problem. They’re not exactly something you’d see on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, but I hope they’ll make you a little more comfortable.” She could barely see his grin beneath the shade of his hat, but she knew he wore a pleasant smile. Everything about Mike was pleasant. “Dinner is served at six every night over at the main house,” he said.
Mike and Josh used to live together, but since Josh got married, he and Rebecca had built their own place on a more wooded part of the property, near a small pond. Mike now lived alone in one section of the main house. The rest served as the High Hill Ranch offices and, evidently, the mess hall.
“Sounds good,” she said.
“Breakfast is at six. Boxed lunches are prepared at the same time, if you want to grab one for lunch. Otherwise, you’re on your own until dinner.” He started digging in his pocket. “And I’ve got a set of keys I want to give you.”
“Keys for what?” she asked. Not to the office. They’d decided to run a cable from the house to her cabin so she could work whatever hours suited her best and so she could use her own computer.
“I want you to have access to one of the ranch trucks—” his eyes dropped to her belly “—just in case. Of course, if you need me to take you somewhere, you can always knock. But if for some reason I’m not around—” He shrugged. “I just think it would be best.”
“But I can’t impose on you by borrowing one of your vehicles.”
“Sure you can,” he said. “These keys are for the little red Nissan parked over by the barn. There’s no sense letting it sit there if you need it. Hardly anyone drives it, so it certainly won’t hurt to let you use it for the next few months.”
She accepted the keys he handed her. “Thank you. I’ll be very careful with it.”
“Drive it whenever you want. I’m not worried about it.” He adjusted his hat, allowing her a clearer glimpse of his hazel eyes. “Any chance you could give me a haircut in the next few days?”
“Of course. We could do it tonight.”
He checked his watch again. “I’ve got to finish a few things before supper. Could I come back around eight?”
Katie had nothing but time. Her computer was set up, but she wouldn’t have Internet service for another few days. “That works for me.”
“Great.” He tipped his hat. “See you then.”
KATIE HAD BROUGHT HER scissors from San Francisco. She didn’t have the fancy chair with the adjustable seat or the cape she used at the salon, but she wasn’t doing a color treatment or giving a perm. This was a simple haircut. She could cover Mike with a towel, shake off the hair when she was done and sweep it up. No problem.
He arrived a little early, and Katie was glad. After the sleepless hours of the night before, she was exhausted. And the stress of the move, as well as agonizing over what to do about the baby, wasn’t helping.
“I appreciate this,” he said as she let him in. “I could go to the salon, I suppose, but I’m always so busy I keep putting it off.” He removed his hat and set it on the small kitchen table before fol
ding his tall frame into the chair Katie had pulled into the center of the floor.
“Until we run that cable for Internet service, I don’t have much to do anyway,” she said.
“That should happen by Tuesday or Wednesday.”
“I can wait until then.” She put one of the four towels from her bathroom around his broad shoulders and used a clip to fasten it at the neck. Then she wet his hair with her spray bottle. She wasn’t going to give him a shampoo in her kitchen sink. That was one of the luxuries he’d have to sacrifice in order to get a free and convenient haircut. “How are things with Mary?” she asked.
“Fine, I guess.”
She combed through his wet hair to find that it was much longer than she’d expected. “When did you two start dating?”
“We’re not dating.”
Katie arched an eyebrow at him. “What would you call it?”
“We’re just friends. We get together occasionally.”
She could hear the dismissal in his voice and wondered why he seemed to be having so much trouble falling in love—with anyone. “Whatever happened to that woman from McCall you were dating? Everyone was so sure you’d marry her.”
He gave her a sheepish grin. “She said our relationship wasn’t progressing and broke it off to date someone else. She married him almost six months ago.”
She started cutting the front of his hair. “Do you regret not making a move when you had the chance?”
“Not really.”
“Do I sense that you have a problem with commitment, Mr. Hill?” she teased.
“I’m not afraid of commitment. I just…I don’t know. Haven’t met the right woman, I guess.”
“Well, I, for one, have decided that being single isn’t so bad.” She moved toward the back of his head.
“What happened between you and Andy?”
Several clumps of hair fell to the floor before she answered. “That’s a long, sad story. Bottom line—”
“He’s not in your league.”
Katie held her scissors aloft, smiling down at him. “That’s a nice thing to say.”
