“Who are you…and where is my dad?” Harley chuckled from beside her; eyes wide, a small smirk sat upon her lips.
“I’m a man who knows what it’s like to love someone so much you’d give your own life to be with them.”
“Excuse me for a second,” and then Mrs. Anderson was up, running to the kitchen, the sobs echoing like poison through the air behind her. Mr. Anderson whitened, his eyes growing sad with every second that passed. His throat bobbed up and down as he stood to follow her.
Brows dipped together in what was probably confusion, Harley turned to face Abigail and David on the couch after he cleared out of the room. “Umm, is Mom having an emotional breakdown again or something?”
“Harley, just…don’t. Please.” Pulling his arm out from behind Abigail, David shook his head and stood.
“Jesus, David. I figured you, of all people, would be laughing at her random emotional meltdown. Sorry…”
“No… Fuck, Har, you have no idea what’s really going on here.” He swiped the crutch from the couch and tucked it under his arm before glancing back at her. His hair stood as he yanked at the ends with his trembling fingers.
“Uh, I kind of thought we were discussing my dilemma, but then all of a sudden everyone just went cryptic on me.”
She shouldn’t have been here. She should just leave. This wasn’t her family technically so what gave her the right to sit and play referee between these two stubborn twins? But dammit, that’s exactly what Abigail was about to do.
“Try me here, David. Tell me what’s got Mom’s panties in a bunch this time.” Sitting back against the sofa, Harley crossed her arms as her brows rose even higher in challenge.
“She’s—”
“David!” Abigail hollered, standing in front of him, her hands pressed against the solidity that was his chest. His heart thundered under her fingertips, but he didn’t move, nor did he stare down at her. Swallowing hard, Abigail sent off a quiet warning under her breath. “Don’t do it, David. Please…this is not your secret.”
“Well why the fuck can’t we just get it out there now, huh? I know…you know…everyone knows but Harley. And now it’s time that she knew too, that way we can all discuss it together—discuss the options. Fix this shit. Make her better. Make it so our child can meet its grandmother someday.” Anger lit his brown eyes, and for the first time since knowing him, David both scared her and pissed her off at the same time. It was like this beast was building in him the longer he stood there, like the anger was turning him into someone he wasn’t. He needed to breathe, but he didn’t. And Abigail had no idea how to get him to do just that.
“Jesus, David, what in the hell are you spouting off about?” Harley rose, standing at Abigail’s back. Braving a look back towards her best friend was impossible. If she did, then David would let the truth out. “I mean, talk about cryptic here. You, my lovely brother, are not making sense. And to be honest, I have far too big of a headache to deal with it anyways.”
“Don’t walk away, Harley. Not tonight. This has to happen tonight.” Nostrils flaring, veins popping from his neck, David looked ready to fight death with his bare hands and take it down. “Mom…Dad…get in here. You brought her here. Tell her dammit. Tell your daughter the truth.”
“David, please baby…you don’t want to do this.” Pleading was the answer, and Abigail did just that, digging her nails into his t–shirt the entire time. His gaze—completely unfocused—found hers for a brief moment before he focused it back towards the kitchen.
“Abigail,” Harley’s hand was on her shoulder, it trembled as she spoke. “What’s wrong with him? He’s never—”
“Acted this way? Well, I’ve got good reason for being an ass, if that’s what you mean. You’re not the only one with issues you know. I’ve got a fucked up brain, Harley. My head, it’s not the same. The accident…it did something to me.”
Okay, yeah, so apparently he was going to let all of the secrets come out tonight. Back in Santa Cruz they’d gotten by with not telling her, but now, here he was, letting it all hang out. An Anderson share all, tell all was in place. Dammit, this was one big mess. The worst part was that there wasn’t anything Abigail could do to make him stop now. He was out of control; his voice and mind no longer matched. David was not David. She swallowed, moving towards his side. She interlocked their fingers and surprisingly, he didn’t move away. If anything, he gripped them harder, like he was using her touch to keep going. If the secrets were going to come out, then she’d be there to help him release them, even if she stayed silent in the process.
“What do you mean by that?” Tears poked at the corner of Harley’s eyes, but they didn’t fall. Just sat there—puddling. Abigail just wanted to catch them. Take the pain that accompanied them as well.
“I mean…ever since my accident, I’ve been dealing with migraines, and seizures. The doctors tell me that my condition won’t ever go away.”
“W–why didn’t I know about this?” Abigail turned to face her best friend, seeing her eyes widen the longer they stood there. “Did you know about this?” The look was accusing, and aimed at Abigail. Should she reach for her? Hug her? Tell her she was sorry for not telling her what she knew? Or was she in the right for keeping such a secret from her best friend for these past couple years? It was in Harley’s best interest anyways. The girl had gone through so much. She didn’t need any additional guilt added to her already broken heart and soul.
“I didn’t tell you, Harley, because you didn’t need to know. You didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t dying and I knew all the guilt you carried anyways. There was no point. I’ve been this way for more than two years now, so it’s not a big deal. But maybe now, you can see why I hardly went anywhere, or wanted to be around people. It wasn’t just because of my leg.”
“Shit, David. Are you for real?”
“Yes, sweetie, he is,” the soft voice of Mrs. A sounded from the threshold. Her voice cracked, and Abigail watched as Mr. A sidled up next to her, wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “And I have something I need to tell you too.”
And with those words, Abigail knew it was time she stood at her best friend’s side. She’d need her more than anyone. So she took those two steps, grabbed her hand, and held on for dear life, because this might just kill her again. Over and over, like a roller coaster of visual confusion, Harley studied them all. Looking both lost and confused, like a scared child who’d been separated from her parents in a big department store.
“Honey…I’m dying.”
Bluntness, in her opinion was not the way to go, but apparently Mrs. Anderson didn’t feel there were any other options.
“Funny Mom, but you’re fine…”
“No, honey, I’m not fine. I have cancer. Terminal cancer.”
Shutting her eyes to keep her tears from falling, Abigail wondered what was going on in Harley’s mind. Was she in denial? Was she on the verge of crying like she was? Call her a chicken shit, but she couldn’t let her gaze find the light to see what version of Harley she would see before her. But from the laxness of her hand in Abigail’s, she knew shock was at the top of that emotional list.
“No. You’re not dying. Dad? Tell me this is a sick joke. Tell me Mom’s just joking. Tell me…” She fell to her knees, her arms shaking as she pressed them against her thighs. Unable to stop herself, Abigail did the same, finally glancing at the whiteness of her best friend’s face. “David? Abigail? Tell me I’m hearing things.”
“You’re not, honey,” her mother was crying, as were David and his dad now too. Harley’s head was shaking, back and forth, over and over. And then Mrs. A was on the floor next to them both, wrapping an arm around her back and Harley’s. She didn’t deserve to be in that hug, it should have just been between a mother and a daughter, but she was selfish. She needed it too.
“It’s not fair, Mom…it’s not fair!” That was her cue, she had to back away. The emotions, the ache, it was all too much for her.
Pressing her fingers to her lips, Abigail found herself in David’s chest only seconds later, sobbing there, completely enveloped by the warmth of his arms. He simply held her whispering, “Shh” in her ear, over and over, comforting her, even as the teardrops fell from his own eyes onto her forehead.
Damn. This family’s glue was no longer sticky. Everyone was broken—shredded—nothing was holding it together this time. Life freaking sucked, always taking what it thought it deserved and ruining them with its evil hand. She just prayed that they could come back from this—all of them—a little bit stronger than before.
Chapter Twenty–Six
His bed was freezing, completely bare without her tucked against his side. Abigail had been staying with him—or he’d been staying with her—almost every night since they’d returned from California two weeks ago. But tonight, he couldn’t ask her to stay for anything. Not after what had gone down with his family. In fact, the first chance she got, she wound up splitting, looking almost relieved when he’d given her the go–ahead. The girl had done her fair share of crying, so he figured she needed an emotional break. He couldn’t exactly blame her really, he was wishing for the same thing himself. But admittedly he’d been a little more than sad to see her go. It just showed how far in deep he already was with her. It would never change, for as long as he was living on this earth, he knew that his feelings for Abigail would always be there—squeezing his chest, tearing him apart only to put him back together again in the end.
Something moved at the foot of his bed, and he wiggled his five toes, trying to make out what it was. Really though, he already knew who was there when she huffed and puffed like a non–vicious wolf. It was his sister. “All right, spill it, Harley. I’m awake, no point in being so nonchalant about waking me up.” He settled his arms behind his head, blinking to try and make out her form in the early morning light of his room.
“Why didn’t you tell me about your head?” Who knew a simple, whispered question could make his heartbeat thunder inside of his chest. Of course she had to go deep so early in the morning.
“Because… I had it under control and I didn’t want you to worry about anything else. You already felt enough guilt as it was. There was no point in adding to it. I told you that.” It was a simple fact, and if she didn’t get it—didn’t understand—then so be it.
“And how long have you known about Mom?” She choked out, this time pulling the blanket down off of him so she could cover her legs. “Has it been a while? Because I’m pissed they told you before me, you know.”
His eyes shut as he spoke. Christ, he didn’t want to talk about this. But he also knew he had to. Harley needed to be clear on everything going on. “I knew the truth the night Dad picked me up from the airport after I left California. He just sort of busted it out, right there in the damn car on the way home. Cried his freaking eyes out, Harley, it was terrible.” There was no point in mentioning that he did the same. That was a night he didn’t want to remember.
“Jesus, David. Is this really happening to us again?” She fell forward onto her belly, resting her hand upon her chin as she stared at him in the dark. “Why do our lives have to be so…so crappy sometimes? We’re good people, you know?”
“I know, sis. But you know that old saying—God only gives you what he knows you can handle?” He swallowed, fighting his emotions, wishing he could just man up, knock this emotional shit off. “But what we need to do, is convince Mom that she can fight this thing. She’s all but given up already!”
“Well, maybe she’s just scared, you know? Maybe we can just, I don’t know, guilt her into it?” Her eyes seemed to brighten—even through the darkness. “I mean, I’m terrified, I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. I can’t lose her though, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to go to Chicago now either.”
“She’s gonna be pissed if you don’t.”
“Shit, David, maybe I just needed something to keep me from going in the first place. An excuse or something? I mean, don’t get me wrong, the opportunity is fantastic, but is it really what I want right now? I mean, I can’t be without Mason and I have to be with Mom during this shit, too.”
“Then I guess you’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?” He fell forward, mirroring her position on the bed. She smiled sadly at him, and he could still clearly see her tears.
“Yeah…guess I have, huh?” Silence accompanied them in the room, other than Harley’s occasional sniffles. He lowered his elbows, and reached for her hand, patting it with his own.
“Harley, no matter what, we’ll always have each other. And if Mom… Fuck, I can’t even say it. But just…we’ve just got to promise one another that we’ll be there for each other. I promise there will no more secrets on my behalf, no matter how crappy they are. And you’ve got to do the same.”
“I wasn’t the one keeping secrets, D. You were.” An accusing finger was jabbed into his face and he pushed it away, grinning at her.
Yeah, he knew that. And in a way he was declaring the idea to himself, rather than just expecting her to say it back in return. He was done with the secrets. Done with keeping things from the people he loved. In that list included his parents, Harley and of course, Abigail too.
* * *
“I’m gonna need all the help I can get once this baby gets here, you know.”
The sound of her laughter eased the tension draining down the moment. Breathing weirdly became easier when his sister was happy. It’s like her moments were his—both the bad and the good. Guess that was just a twin intuition thing they shared.
“Hah! You’re…gonna be a Dad…. Big Broody David Anderson, with his hate for life and his moody attitude, is going to bring a little spawn into this world.” Her laugh grew louder and she pressed her hand over her mouth, obviously trying to hold back the giggle frenzy.
Okay, so maybe they didn’t share all of the same emotions after all. Wasn’t that just awesome of his sister though, to think so highly of his non–parenting abilities? The little brat…
“You do realize how scary that sounds, right?” She nudged him this time adding along to the tease. An answering snarl was all he had to give in response. “I mean, you don’t even like kids. And kids don’t even like you—granted things will be a little bit different now that it’s your own flesh and blood—but still. I can’t see you being the parenting type.”
Yeah, neither could he. His only hope was that this baby would pop out more like its mom than its dad. No matter, he could easily see himself at least being there for Abigail and this baby, even if he doubted his abilities in the end. But in a strange sort of way he had a lot to offer a kid—especially if it was a boy. He’d school him in sports—football mostly—even if one of his legs happened to be MIA. He couldn’t do the braids, granted, or makeup thing either if it was a girl, but he could scare the boyfriends away if they stepped too close.
He frowned at that thought, scratching his chin. Shit…a girl… Jesus Christ, he was in a hell of a lot of trouble here, wasn’t he?
“David, hey!” Fingers snapped in front of his face and he blinked, coming back from his annoying thoughts. “Get out of the place you were just in now, cuz it’s not a good location to be. I can tell that just by your face. I know what you’re doing.”
Narrowing his eyes, he sat up, staring down at his apparently know–it–all–sister. “Oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“Easy, you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re gonna suck as a dad.”
“So what if I am?” His tone came off way more offensive than he meant it to. He cleared his throat, and shrugged, trying to go carefree this time, even if he felt anything but. “Enough about me though, I want to hear about what happened with the whole marriage thing.” Good—put things in her corner—turn this around and pressure her.
Cringing, she sat up, tucking her knees under her chin. “Not much to tell, really. I told him no again, and he hasn’t mentioned it since.”
“And…?
”
Sighing, she shut her eyes as she spoke. He didn’t know if she was genuinely tired, or emotionally trying to hold it together. His guess was both, but he wasn’t going to question it.
“And I want to marry him, badly. I just… I don’t know… I mean, I want us both to be settled with life before we take that sort of plunge, you know?”
Yeah, he knew exactly what she meant. But sometimes life held those unexpected surprises thrown in—like someone losing a leg, or having cancer for example. So to him, following through with what felt right was better than never experiencing it at all. Did he condone an early marriage? Well, once upon a time he hadn’t, no. But now? He wasn’t sure. One thing was for sure though, he loved Abigail. She made him who he was, and in turn he could only hope she felt the same way. Two halves made a whole and together, they’d make the perfect circle, or square, or messed up triangle, whatever the fuck they really were. There would never be any doubt in his mind about that again.
“And what about you? Are you going to make an honest woman out of my best friend, especially now that she’s pregnant with your child?” Her grin was infectious, and he answered back with an even bigger one of his own.
“Yes. I am…”
Well hell, where did that come from? Harley’s eyes widened and her mouth gaped. His sister was in shock, there was no doubt about that. It almost made the element of surprise worth it. He didn’t catch Harley off guard often. “Don’t look at me with that face, Har. I’ve known that Abigail would be my forever since I was a kid. You know that as much as I do.”
Shaking her head, she stared down at the bed, pulling on a random thread as her soft, whispered voice echoed back. “Yeah, I know that. But…aren’t you scared?”
He blinked, there was only one way to answer that: With the truth. “To fucking death, Harley—I’m terrified. I mean, what if we don’t make it? What if I do something wrong and she regrets settling with me—a guy who’s not even whole anymore? What if somewhere along the way, she decides she wants more out of life than what she has here in Hillsdale, with a guy like me?”
A Long Time Coming Page 25
