“You think this new guy might be more approachable?”
“Hardly. The Alma’s hatred of us runs deep. However, from what I have gathered, Turd was disgraced at the time of his declaration of war.”
“Fuck yeah,” I said with some pride. “Asshole had an iPod and I called him on it.”
“A bigfoot with an iPod?” Sheila asked. “That’s new.”
“I should have checked out his playlist. I really wanted to know if he had Chewbacca on it.” I turned back to Gan. “Disgraced or not, he still was able to make the call.”
“Yes. His influence was such that even with a shadow cast over him, the others rallied to his cry. To do otherwise would have been to admit weakness. But do not think his sins were so easily forgotten. The Alma have a long memory and even war cannot erase such a stain.”
“So you think whoever is in charge now might be willing to talk?” Sheila asked. “Do something to erase the ... stain that Turd caused?”
I grinned. “Once you start, it’s really hard to stop, isn’t it?”
“I’m glad I don’t have to meet him. Not sure I could keep a straight face.”
“It’s easier than you think, especially when he’s busy rearranging yours with his fists.”
“I believe it might be possible,” Gan replied, getting us back to the point. “As with any new regime, the leaders will be eager to place their own mark upon history – whether that be war or peace.”
“That’s good.”
“But that decision will not be made at our hands,” she added.
“It won’t?”
“No.” She turned and pointed at Sheila. “It will be at hers.”
* * *
“Not following,” Sheila replied, wide eyed.
“I am a known enemy of the Alma,” Gan stated matter-of-factly. “I have slaughtered them wherever we have met on the field of battle.” She turned to me. “You, my love, likely possess nearly that same level of notoriety via your status as the Freewill.”
“Nearly,” I echoed.
“Should either of us approach them in their territory, there is an excellent chance we would be torn asunder even as we offered a flag of truce. The Shining One, however, is also known among them, but in a different manner.”
“I remember,” I said. “Turd tried to invoke the Icons to rally the Magi against me.”
“Indeed, but his words aside, there has never been open hostility between the Alma and her kind. If anything, her status as a known enemy of our people would give her some measure of influence amongst them.”
“That whole enemy of my enemy thing again,” I offered.
“Yes. Should the Shining One approach them, offering to mediate a peace, I do not think she would be turned away out of hand.”
I stood up and leaned against the wall. “Yeah, but there’s one small problem. We might get their new leaders to sit down and talk, but we’ll never get ours to. Last I checked, Alex was pretty big on wiping them out.”
“And who says we need him? Did you not act as the First’s proxy last time? Your status as Freewill makes you an equal to them in the eyes of our enemy regardless of the reality of the situation.”
Could always count on Gan to tear down three walls while building up one.
“Would that work?” Sheila asked.
“There are no official diplomatic channels between our leadership and theirs at the moment. Word would spread quickly among our allies, though, so eventually, the First would learn of it.”
“And then what?”
“Unknown.” She shrugged. “It has been rumored among the prefecture that Lord Alexander’s ambitions for war were not formally endorsed by the majority of the First Coven.”
“You think the rest of them might grow a backbone and force him to accept a peace now?” I asked.
“I do not. Two of their number are dead and a third is missing. There might be some debate on the matter, but I would not count on the opposition prevailing.”
“Yehoshua might make for a good argument,” I offered.
“Perhaps,” Gan conceded. “But the fate of Lady Theodora at the hands of the Shining One could work against supporting a peace she brokered. He was known to be fond of her.”
I knew that, but at the same time wasn’t sure I agreed with her assessment. However, before I could say anything, Gan continued. “Besides, it matters not. Whether the peace is real or a sham is irrelevant. What matters is that we convince the Alma it is genuine long enough for them to guide us to Ib’s lair. After that, the rest is up to you, my love.”
“Me?! What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“What you normally do. I believe your whore said it herself. You have quite the talent for, what were her words? Ah yes, fucking things up.”
DON’T USE ALL THE HOT WATER
Sheila and I decided to forgo our nightly sojourn that evening. The plan we’d come up with had me far too distracted, not to mention I knew myself. Despite everything, I’d probably have spent the entire night apologizing for vamping out on her, which wouldn’t do wonders for our vigilantism. Also, I had a feeling Gan would have wanted to tag along and her version of street justice was decisively different from ours.
After our little powwow broke up, I ran downstairs to bring the others up to speed on our plan while Sheila worked on getting a stable cell signal so as to attempt to reach Bernadette – hopefully without tipping off Colin in the process.
Sally was dubious as to our chances of success, but even she had to agree it was better than anything else we had to go on. Also, more than ever, she seemed to want to get a move on with regard to rescuing Ed. Considering what Gan had told us about what he could do, I had little doubt of the reason behind her enthusiasm. Still, one couldn’t argue against having a motivated crowd.
Christy’s coven seemed pretty gung ho on trying, too. Of course, the Magi weren’t on the Feet’s shit list, so it wasn’t quite as much of a risk to them. Christy, however, barely acknowledged the plan before shuffling her sisters back into the basement and locking the door behind them.
My curiosity got the better of me and, despite knowing Christy’s penchant for wards, I snuck up and tried to listen in, catching “It’s now or never” before all sound inside was muted. Considering I couldn’t even hear a heartbeat through the door after that, I had to assume it was magically blocked.
Jeez! What, did they have a No Bills Club going on down there? Or maybe they were doing that naked cavorting thing that witches were supposedly known for. I really needed to drill myself a peephole at some point.
Whatever the case, it sounded as if they were good with our plan. That was the important thing. In the meantime, let them do whatever voodoo they needed to. They still had a very important spell to figure out for once we were down there.
The main problem, besides forging peace with a group of slobbering troglodytes that hated me, was that we were technically under a state of truce with Alex. We’d agreed to work together to end Calibra, and part of that included an open exchange of intelligence between us.
I didn’t think for one second he took it any more seriously than we did, but he had a lot more clout than us, and I really didn’t look forward to another trial where our treachery would be put on display like a circus sideshow. Besides, my practical side insisted he had a whole freaking army at his disposal. Once we were ready to face Calibra, wouldn’t it make a fuckload more sense to have a platoon of heavily armed shock troops to back us up?
Therein lay the conundrum. How to establish a truce, keep Alex in the dark about it, yet not have to face Calibra by ourselves.
Fuck it. That’s what tomorrows were for.
I, for one, had endured enough surprise revelations for the time being. That we ended the day with far more of a plan than we had started was fucking golden. We’d failed to stop Calibra from transforming Ed into some sort of neo-vamp, but it sounded like he was still safe for the time being, at least until she rejiggered his powers to be more
conducive to her liking.
Gan had returned downstairs to her waiting limo, somehow still there and ticket free, to work on rallying those loyal to her cause. That was one plus. She might have been a fucking nutcase, but she was a nutcase with a big following. I wasn’t all too keen on the cult mindset, but fuck it. I could make an exception when that cult was on my side.
I decided to take advantage of the momentary quiet and lie down for a bit before the bad seed could return upstairs and try to weasel her way into my bed. She was one random monster encounter I really didn’t care to have. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to sleep with everything running through my mind, but a little downtime to collect my thoughts didn’t sound like a bad idea. Once on the road, luxuries such as food, sleep, and bathing tended to fall by the wayside. That latter one sucked, but those first two could prove lethal.
Why, oh why, couldn’t the forces of evil muster themselves at a leisurely pace at some tropical vacation resort?
* * *
Turns out a full stomach trumped a full mind and I ended up conking out for a while anyway. I awoke nice and refreshed some time later ... and thankfully without a pair of crazy green eyes staring down at me. Most importantly, the anger I’d been feeling, the same that I’d let boil over at Sheila, seemed to have receded. Amazing what a little good news and a bit of sleep could do.
I glanced over at my clock in the dark room, but the display was out. Maybe I’d kicked the cord from the socket at some point. Thinking nothing of it, I hopped out of bed and hit the light switch. Darkness remained.
Odd, considering the Apollo what-the-fuck down in the basement. Oh well, maybe it was just the shitty wiring in this place. That I hadn’t woken up in a crater told me that whatever was going on was probably somewhat less than cataclysmic. Besides, what did it matter? I could see in the dark.
The living room was quiet and likewise unlit. The power was out there, too. Unfortunately, it was the same in the kitchen, meaning the refrigerator was off. No problem; I had a backup plan. I quickly moved the blood into our freezer. Thanks to years of neglecting to ever defrost it, the walls were solid ice. Not great for the appliance’s lifespan, but it made for a damn handy emergency icebox during outages.
The blood situation taken care of for the moment, I decided to grab a quick shower. Afterwards, I could meander down and ask Christy when she planned to plug her supernatural generator back in.
On the plus side, the water heater in the building was entirely gas, so my shower wasn’t ball-shriveling cold. Sadly, I wasn’t quite in the mood for any me time. The presence of Sheila and Sally had made for some good stress relief in days past. Angry jerking off wasn’t quite the same as angry sex – or so I had to assume – but it got the job done. But with Gan back in the picture and in close proximity, no fucking way. The very last thing I wanted in this entire world – even less than ending up a slave, destined to kiss Sasquatch ass for all eternity – was to have Gan kick in the door while I had my dick in my hand. No, sir, I did not want that.
As if the thought of Gan wasn’t enough to cause little Dr. Death to go hide in the shadows, I was just finishing up washing my hair when another unwanted guest reared his ugly head. Or skull, in this case.
You dare judge me and then perform this foul heresy?!
I guess Christy had decided to wake up Harry Decker for some reason or other. Just great. Lacking vocal cords, Decker’s sole means of communication was entirely psychic – meaning that walls, doors, or fingers in one’s ears didn’t do shit for keeping him out.
He didn’t have eyes either, but at the same time appeared aware of what was going on around him. Who knew how far that extended? Yep, any happy time was definitely out of the question. Knowing my luck, he’d start in with a play by play for the entire building to hear.
Do you think the great Kala sits on her hands waiting for us? The White marches ever forward, uniting those loyal to her cause.
I so hated getting only half a conversation, especially when that half was from a fucking nutbag.
Sadly, Decker was a necessary evil. His knowledge of magical fuckery was greater than Christy’s, and she needed his help in order to modify the ancient spell we’d discovered into something that could not only stop the Jahabich, but potentially Calibra as well. If he could do that for us, I could deal with his presence for a while longer.
I could always find a convenient landfill on Staten Island to toss him into afterwards.
Despite the power outage, I was in a pretty decent mood. After I was done talking to the witches, maybe I’d stop by the downstairs apartment and check on Sally. I was hoping our new plan had snapped her out of her funk. Maybe we could shoot the shit for a while. Hell, even if she wanted to vent and spend an hour verbally eviscerating me, that would be fine. Though she would never admit it, I had a feeling she needed someone to talk to.
Of course, there was also a chance she might not be alone. That gave me pause. I’d never considered Sheila a potential third wheel. Hell, I still had no idea where my feelings were going lately. Things were definitely more complicated than ever – and not just because we were preparing for an assault against the center of the Earth.
So much for my good mood.
I got dressed and walked out, my mind full of conflicting thoughts ... thoughts I really needed to stow away for a time after the events of Armageddon had played out. Thus, I didn’t immediately think anything of the familiar figure that passed me in the gloomy apartment.
“Hey, Bill.”
“Hey, man,” I replied idly a split second before realization hit and I came to a screeching halt.
I spun just in time to see the bathroom door close behind an impossible sight – that of my roommate.
MAXIMUM ADVENTURE
“Tom?”
For a moment, I was frozen in place, thinking that maybe I was hallucinating. But I hadn’t imagined the door closing. And I definitely wasn’t imagining the shuffling sounds now coming from within the bathroom.
That snapped me out of my funk. I stepped forward and ripped the door open, ignoring the snap of the tumbler as I broke the lock.
“The fuck, dude?!” Tom stood up from the toilet, his pants around his ankles. “In case you hadn't noticed, occupied!”
“You’re...”
“On the shitter? Yes. Learn to fucking knock, oh, and eyes up here. Don’t be thinking that just because the world is fucked, you can go sneaking peeks at my junk."
“But you’re...”
“Seeing if it all still works. It ain’t a spectator sport.”
He kicked the door shut in my face. It refused to latch and slid back open an inch or so. “You fucking broke it, asshole.” The door shut again and I could hear the sound of the trashcan sliding across the floor to brace it.
What the hell was going on?
Sounds from outside my apartment caught my ear – footsteps racing up the stairs and, even more prominently, the sound of voices arguing ... female voices.
I was split between the front door of my apartment and the bathroom, indecision completely freezing me in place as my mind tried to comprehend what I’d just seen – my roommate Tom as he had been before Vehron snapped his neck. He was human again, or maybe a really solid looking ghost. I had no fucking clue.
I was totally gobsmacked. Someone might as well have walked in and showed me a birth certificate that listed Sally as my mother and Sheila my twin sister. I don’t think my reaction would have been any less.
“Go back downstairs.”
“No fucking way.”
“I’m with Meg.”
“I’m the high mentor of this coven and I say...”
“This isn’t the fucking Army, Christy. You can’t pull rank like that, especially since he just got up and waltzed out in the middle of the ceremony.”
Christy and her sisters. The plot thickened.
The argument outside broke the standoff in my mind. There was no other egress from the bathroom, unless one counted th
e toilet, and if whatever was in there could do that, then I really wanted no fucking part of it. I stalked to the front door and opened it upon the trio of arguing witches. Veronica was the only one of the coven not in sight.
“Can I help you ladies?” I asked pleasantly. “Because the weirdest thing just happened.”
Christy pushed her way past me. “Is he here?”
“Why, whoever do you mean? You wouldn’t happen to be talking about my best friend, the one who only yesterday was still dead and possessing a plastic doll, would you?”
“Action figure!” Tom shouted from the bathroom.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Christy walked over and pounded on the door. “Come out. We need to make sure you’re stable.”
“Hey, babe,” he replied from the other side. “You should get in here. You wouldn’t believe what’s working.”
She glanced back at us, a look of embarrassment on her face, before turning to the door again. “Seriously?” she hissed.
I glanced at Meg and Kelly, both of whom looked extremely uncomfortable. “This isn’t a dream, is it?” Meg gave a single shake of her head. “A hallucination, maybe?”
“It’s hard to explain,” she replied.
“You’re telling me,” Kelly said. “I was down there and I still don’t know what the fuck we were think... oof!” She trailed off abruptly as Meg elbowed her in the side.
The sound of the door opening behind me caught my ear and I turned to see Tom, thankfully with his pants up, step out. Christy grabbed him by the hand and began dragging him toward the door.
“I’m fine, babe. I mean it.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” she snapped. “This is sensitive magic. You can’t just...”
“Leave without explaining what’s going on?” I finished for her. “Yeah, I’d say that’s accurate.”
“Out of the way.”
The Tome of Bill (Book 8): The Last Coven Page 9
