“Uh-huh. You’ve been seeing a lot of her. You can’t deny this is different for you.”
No, he couldn’t. He shrugged. “Yeah. So what? Hayden’s different.”
“You mean that in a good way, right?” Marco frowned.
“Fuck, yeah.”
“Okay, good, ’cause I was gonna have to punch you if you insulted her.”
Beck eyed his buddy. “You’re defending her?”
“I like her.”
Beck narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”
Marco laughed and slapped his shoulder. “You’re fucking jealous! This is hilarious.”
“It really is.” Cade grinned. “Don’t get your dick in a knot.”
“I really don’t like you thinking about my dick.”
“I think about it all the time.”
Marco choked on a laugh.
“Because you wish yours was as big as mine.” Beck smiled knowingly.
“Enough talking about your dicks,” Marco said. “Back to Hayden.”
“Hayden likes my dick too.”
“Jesus. I thought you said ‘Hayden licks my dick.’”
Beck grinned. “Yeah, I’m not gonna share intimate details with you assholes. I’m outta here. See you tomorrow.”
He drove to Kimchi to pick up food, then headed over to Hayden’s place, arriving at the same time she did. Christ. It was seven o’clock and she was just getting home from work.
He waited on the sidewalk for her to meet up with him, the bag of food under one arm. He smiled watching her walk toward him. She’d actually changed up how she dressed, although she’d mentioned she had a big meeting that morning with a foundation that might enter into a funding partnership with Vanguard Corp. She looked professional but sexy, her suit a fitted one with a snug pencil skirt and small jacket with three-quarter sleeves. “Hey, gorgeous.” He slid a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a long, sweet kiss. “How was your day?”
“Shitty.”
He blinked, quickly taking in the tension in her face and the droop of her lips. She turned and walked toward the complex. Even though he was concerned, he couldn’t help but admire her ass in the snug skirt. She stopped to pick up her mail, not bothering to look at it, and entered the condo.
Beck followed her in. “Why shitty, babe? What happened?”
“Let’s eat first.” She advanced into her kitchen.
Beck set the bag on the counter and turned to the cupboard where her plates were. He opened it and his eyes fell on the plastic child’s plate with the divisions to keep food from touching. The first time he’d seen that he’d laughed, but Hayden had been so mortified that he’d seen her secret plate, he’d hastened to reassure her that he thought it was cute. And it was. Everyone had their own little quirks.
He turned with two regular plates in his hand to see Hayden pulling containers out of the bag. “What is this?” she asked.
“Korean.” He set the plates on the counter. “Gyoza. Dakgangjeong. Yaki udon.”
She nodded, seeming distracted. He got the feeling she didn’t give a shit what kind of food he’d brought. They dished it out onto the plates.
“Want some water?” Beck stepped over to her fridge, comfortable in her kitchen.
“Yes. Please.”
He grabbed two bottles and they moved into the living room to eat on the couch, as they had so often.
He wanted to know more about what was obviously bothering her, but when they were settled, she said, “Tell me about your day.”
“Well. We finally sat down with Danny and Sid today to talk about our food.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah. Sid is going to step things up a bit, try making some fresher things from scratch.”
She nodded absently, using chopsticks to lift a bite of the spicy Dakgangjeong.
“So we talked about changing the menu. He’s going to come up with some ideas.” Beck grimaced. “I’m not sure he’s really got the skills, but we all agree we should at least give him a shot.”
“I suppose.” She lifted her water bottle to her lips to drink. “What else did you do today?”
“Had a meeting at the Trident Foundation.” He dropped his gaze to his food. He hadn’t really talked much about the foundation to her.
“That’s the organization that you do the skydiving for, right?”
“Right. I do some other volunteer stuff for them as well.”
She seemed to be barely paying attention to what he was saying. She set down her half-eaten plate of food and picked up the water bottle again.
Beck talked more as he ate. Hayden played with her hair and rubbed her face. Finally, he said, “Okay, baby, enough fidgeting. What’s going on?”
She lifted her chin and licked her lips. “We didn’t get the funding grant from NHI.”
His stomach dropped. “Oh no. Well, shit.”
“Yeah.” She swallowed. “Exactly. Well, shit.” She sighed. “It’s pretty disappointing.”
“But you were doing another presentation today, right? How’d that go?”
“It went fine. But I thought the NHI one went fine too. We won’t know about this one for a few weeks.”
“Ah, hell. I knew something big was bugging you. C’mere, baby.” He set down his plate and reached for her.
She shook her head and pushed away from him. “No.”
He went very still and his eyebrows rose. “What’s wrong?”
She closed her eyes briefly, her lips tight. “We can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what? Eat Korean food?”
She looked like she was going to cry. “No! This.” She waved a hand back and forth between them. “Us.”
His head went kind of cloudy and he shook it. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” She gripped her plastic water bottle. “I mean we can’t see each other anymore.”
“Huh?” His jaw dropped. He sure as hell hadn’t expected this. “Why not?”
“Because I need to focus on work!” She met his gaze, anguish in her eyes. “I let everyone down by not getting that grant. Now we could be in trouble. I can’t let that happen again. I told you…you know what my goals are. You know how important this is to me. I can’t be running around having sex all over the place and…and…doing crazy things.”
“Crazy things? Baby, all we’ve done is had some fun. Everyone’s entitled to have fun sometimes. That doesn’t mean you’re not dedicated to your goals.”
“It takes time away from them. And with Aunt Gina needing help lately…I can’t do it anymore. I have to help look after them, and I have to commit to my research and my goals. So I can’t see you again.”
He stared at her. “That’s bullshit.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Don’t make this harder than it is.”
“If it’s so hard, why are you doing it?”
“I just explained it all to you!”
He shook his head, trying to make sense of it. Yes, he understood her commitment. He didn’t just understand it, he admired it. He supported her in it. He wanted her to succeed as much as she did. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a life. He thought he’d shown her the importance of balance.
Maybe not.
He frowned. “How much was the grant for?”
“Ten million dollars.”
“Bah. I’ll write you a fucking check for that.”
She scowled, shaking her head. “This is serious, Beck.”
“I’m serious. I’m dead fucking serious.” He leaned forward. “It’ll take me a few days, but I’ll get you that money.”
She gaped at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Okay, listen. I never told you this, but I have money.”
She continued to stare at him.
“I told you about my family.”
“Yes…”
“My grandpa left me some money when he died. I invested it and it’s done pretty well. I can easily give you ten million dolla
rs.”
She gave him an openmouthed stare. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“I’m not kidding. Come on, Hayden. Take the money. Take some pressure off yourself. Let yourself live life a little. There’s no reason we can’t keep seeing each other.”
He felt like he was begging, but dammit, he had no shame when it came to her. He hadn’t known her long, but there was no fucking way he was letting her shut him out of her life. They were good together. Maybe it was just intense sexual chemistry, but what was wrong with that?
She jumped to her feet, her hands in fists, her body stiff. “I can’t take ten million dollars from you!” she shrieked. “Are you insane?”
He frowned and stood too. “No, I’m not insane. I’m trying to help here.”
Her look of incredulity was almost funny. Maybe he should have dropped this knowledge on her a little sooner. But whatever. He tried one of his most charming smiles. “Come on, baby. It’s all good.”
“It’s not good!” She unfisted her hands and splayed her fingers out in front of her. “I can’t believe this! First, I still don’t know if you’re making up some far-fetched story, but if you’re not, I can’t believe you never told me this, and Jesus Christ, Beck, you can’t just give away ten million dollars! And I can’t take it! Just so we can continue having crazy jungle sex in more positions than I knew existed.”
Any other time he would have laughed at that, but her wrath was so genuine he didn’t even crack a smile.
“That makes me feel like an extremely high-priced prostitute,” she snapped. “Ten million dollars, wow!”
Now anger rose in him in a hot surge. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. That’s ridiculous.”
“Just go, Beck. Please.”
“No.” Annoyance sharpened his voice. “Calm down, Hayden, Jesus—”
“Please.” Her breath quickened and her face flushed and she stalked over to the door and flung it open. “Just leave. This isn’t going to work for us. I can’t just waste my life having fun.”
What the fuck? What the fucking fuck? Waste her life?
He swallowed hard, hearing the things his parents had said about how he was wasting his life. Yeah. He wasn’t worth the trouble.
He stared at Hayden, heat pouring through his body. His own hands clenched and unclenched. For a moment it felt like the first time he’d jumped out of an airplane—poised on the edge, terrified and shaking, convinced he was about to die. But he had to do it. He had to jump.
He swallowed. And walked out.
Chapter 21
Hayden thought her chest was going to explode, her heart was racing so fast and hard. Her whole body trembled as she slammed and locked the door, then stumbled into her living room and fell facedown onto the couch. She pressed her hot cheek onto the cool leather and squeezed her eyes shut. Oh God. Oh God.
What had just happened?
Oh hell, she’d known it was going to be difficult to tell Beck they had to end things, but she never in a million—or ten million, ha!—years expected what had happened.
He had ten million dollars to just hand over? That could not be real.
But Beck wasn’t a liar. She hadn’t known him long, but there was no way a man with his integrity and honor and strength would lie.
But if it was true, it made her feel…Hell, she didn’t even know how she felt. She drummed her feet onto the couch and groaned.
Yes, it had felt insulting. That he thought he could buy her time. That he could just write a check and she’d be there anytime he wanted to try some new sex position. Or let him lick tequila off her body. Or…or let him help her with her aunt and uncle.
Shit.
She also felt betrayed. Because he hadn’t told her. Not that it mattered. She didn’t care who his family was or how much money they had. But it was part of him…part of who he was…and he hadn’t told her.
She didn’t know why that hurt. They’d both been clear that they were just having fun. She’d shared some stuff with him she didn’t tell a lot of people—like her parents’ cancer diagnoses, her own fears that she would get cancer too, her aunt and uncle’s situation, the way she’d been made fun of as a geeky kid. He’d told her about losing his brother and how his parents had shut him out and how much that had hurt him. Maybe knowing those things about each other had made her believe that there was actually more to their relationship than just fun.
But there wasn’t. And now it was done.
She flipped over on the couch and stared up at the ceiling.
It was what she wanted. She needed to focus on work. She had to seriously regroup and figure out a new strategy for funding, and that was going take a lot of time and energy. Aunt Gina was getting better, although it was more and more obvious she’d never be as mobile and functional as she had been before she’d fallen. But Hayden would be there to help them like they’d helped her. And she’d make some time for Carrie, who was feeling a little neglected with all the time she’d been spending with Beck.
It would all be okay.
—
Beck’s phone ringing in the middle of the night took a while to register in his sleep- and alcohol-muddled brain. He fumbled around in bed, managed to swing his legs over the side, and stumbled over to the dresser, where the phone was charging. He peered at the screen through gritty eyes. He’d drank a shit ton of tequila last night. His mouth was dry and his head pounded.
It was his mom. He frowned and answered the call. “Mother? What’s going on? Why are you calling in the middle of the night?”
“Beck. It’s your father.” She hesitated. “He’s in the hospital. He’s had a heart attack.”
Beck’s head jerked back and he gripped the edge of the desk. “What? Is he okay?”
“He’s alive. He’s not exactly okay. It happened last night. I called an ambulance and they took him to the hospital. They’re giving him medications and they’re going to do some tests, maybe do angioplasty.”
“Christ.” His stomach swooped. He wasn’t close to his father, but still…it was his father.
“Would you come home?” his mother asked, her voice unusually hesitant. “We think he’s going to make it, but…”
He closed his eyes. “Yeah. I’ll come home. I’ll see when I can get a flight. I’ll let you know.”
“Thank you, Beck.”
He ended the call and let his chin fall to his chest. Jesus. His father wasn’t even that old, only sixty-one. His own heart raced, thinking about the possibility that his father could die.
Nah. The old bastard was tough.
He sucked in a deep breath and left the bedroom to go sit at his computer in the den. He stared blankly at the screen for a few minutes, thoughts and worries running through his mind. Then he gave his head a shake and started searching for flights to Boston. He found one leaving at eight-thirty in the morning. What time was it? He glanced at the bottom corner of the monitor. Three forty-five. He blew out a breath and booked the flight. It wasn’t even a direct flight; with one stop he wouldn’t arrive in Boston until six-thirty in the evening. Shit. But after more searching, he couldn’t find a seat on a direct flight at all. This was the best he could do.
He’d need to let Cade and Marco know. They’d have to give some of the bartenders extra shifts, but otherwise they should be able to manage a few days without him. He’d call them from the airport—no need to interrupt their sleep right now.
He returned to his bedroom. He set the alarm on his phone for six o’clock and crawled back into bed in the hopes of getting a couple more hours sleep.
Yeah, that didn’t happen. Instead he lay in the dark, thinking about his dad, about his mother—how was she handling this? She was a tough cookie too, never letting emotion show, making sure she always maintained a perfect, elegant façade, but she’d sounded uncharacteristically shaken. He thought about Whitcomb Industries and what would happen if his dad was out for a while. They had a big executive management team; they’d all step up and cover for him. And he t
hought about Hayden. Guess there was no point in letting her know he was going away.
He thought he’d drowned all his anger in tequila last night, but apparently not, as his gut tightened again. But what was he even angry about? That she wouldn’t take his money? Yeah, that was it.
Fuck it. He threw back the covers. Sleep wasn’t going to happen. He showered and packed some things and drove to the airport, arriving way early, but what the hell. There was always a bar open in an airport and he needed another drink.
He called his mom and let her know his plans, and found out what hospital Dad was in. She offered to send a car to the airport to pick him up. Normally, he would have refused, but what the hell, it would just make things easier, so he agreed.
He ordered another drink.
His thoughts went back to Hayden.
He wasn’t mad because she’d turned down his money. He was mad because she was dumping him. He rubbed at the ache in his chest. Fuck. She was crazy. She was willing to sacrifice way too much for her career. He knew it was more than a career to her, it was a mission, but still. What he’d told her was true—she deserved to have a life.
And he wanted it to be with him.
Fuck. He slid down farther into the chair and tilted his head back. He’d tried to tell himself it was all just having fun, introducing his uptight little professor to new experiences, letting her experience all the passion and heat she kept hidden under tidy shirts and plain beige bras. But it had become much more than that. He didn’t only want her sexy body in his bed, he wanted all of her in his life. Surprising him with her sense of humor, charming him with her quirks and lists and need to plan ahead. He was totally falling for her.
And she’d kicked his ass out of her condo and her life. He scrubbed his hands over his face, his throat dry and scratchy.
Yeah, he’d been more miserable in his life. Hell Week, rolling wet in the sand until his skin was being abraded everyfuckingwhere, including his dick and balls. His time in Afghanistan, so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open, so freezing he couldn’t feel his feet. The rescue mission in the Indian Ocean when he’d spent hours in the fucking frigid water before climbing up the side of an oil tanker that had been seized by rebel gunmen. His current hangover headache and uneasy stomach were mild compared to those experiences. His mental toughness had got him through those situations, but it was failing him now. What the fuck? Why did he feel like all the air and light had been sucked out of his life?
Body Shot (Last Shot) Page 21
