She held up her cell phone that I hadn’t noticed before and waved it across my face. “I was able to get reception here and just got off the phone with Finn.”
“Okay,” I said, starting to worry for her. “Is everything fine with you two?”
She nodded, but then let out a little sniffle. Lexi wasn’t much for tears, so she was starting to freak me out a bit. Since the three of us lived together, we all had our place. Autumn was the emotional core while Lexi was the one for practicality. Crying didn’t fix any problems was Lexi’s motto. My role as the devil’s advocate was a little more complex and seemed to be evolving.
“Yes. Finn is good. It’s not that…” Lexi trailed off and looked over my shoulder back at Autumn. She swallowed and I could see her tampering down on whatever had her upset. Her jaw tightened and she squared her shoulders. “Thomas is going to do a TV interview in two days.”
“What?” I gasped.
She nodded, not staggered by my shocked reaction. “I know. Maybe he planned it purposely knowing Blake and Autumn would be out of the country.”
I followed Lexi’s gaze to Autumn and Delia. “Does Autumn know? Or Delia?”
“I don’t think so. Autumn would’ve told us and I’d hope Delia would give us a heads up if she knew about it. As far as I’m aware, she hasn’t talked to her father in months.”
I bit down on my lip as I mulled over what a catastrophe in the making the news meant for Autumn’s bachelorette party. “So, basically he’s capitalizing on Blake and Autumn’s wedding. Christ, hasn’t Thomas put them through enough?”
“Finn saw a commercial for the TV spot and said it sounds like he wants to share his side of the story.” Lexi said with clear distaste in her voice. “More like he wants to ruin what should be the happiest day of Autumn’s life.”
“We can’t tell her,” I said abruptly.
“Really?”
“What good will it do to tell her? She’s going to find out as soon as we get back to the states. Why not let her have fun without worrying about what that prick is going to say about her and Blake?”
Lexi crossed her arms over her chest. “But what about Delia and Blake? He’s their father…”
“Blake’s stepfather,” I corrected automatically. “And I don’t think he even considers him that anymore. But maybe we should tell him. Get his opinion on whether Autumn and Delia should know or not.” Moreover, Blake could absolve us both of the responsibility of having to decide if Autumn should be privy to the fact her personal business was about to be broadcast on a national level.
My fluttery feelings about Cole had vanished. Dread and nausea caused my stomach to churn. Why now? Thomas Bridges had never told his warped version of events publicly. Was he dead set on stopping the wedding? Maybe he had prematurely assumed Autumn was a phase for Blake that his stepson would eventually grow out of. Only proved how far removed Thomas was from reality. From the second I saw Autumn and Blake cross paths, I knew he was the only one for her.
“Maybe Thomas wants to apologize. He’s ready to admit his guilt as a way to make amends before the wedding,” she said in a hopeful voice.
“If he wants to give them something for their wedding, he should buy some china off their bridal registry, not dredge up the past. Autumn was sexually assaulted by him in high school and has been surrounded by a media circus since then. Not even a truckload of Hallmark apology cards would be sufficient.” I wished Thomas were within reach, so I could wring his neck myself. I never met him, but he’d been a phantom haunting our group for years.
“We better head back over before Autumn suspects something is up,” Lexi suggested as we both got lost in thought over how to prevent Thomas from messing up Autumn’s life even more.
On the other hand, Delia was a wild card. For a long time, she'd remained loyal to her father and believed his twisted tale of a teen seductress who'd cried rape. Although she had little to no contact with her dad in the past year, I hoped she wouldn’t switch alliances after hearing his side of the story.
I nodded my head. “No matter what happens, Autumn will be fine. She’s handled everything life has thrown at her with more grace than I could ever have.”
I could take lessons from Autumn. She was poised, kind and gracious, even to people who didn’t deserve it. Her big heart was probably her biggest flaw. She had even mentioned inviting Blake’s mother to the wedding, which was completely bananas in my mind. His mom had hated Autumn for years, blamed her for tearing apart Blake’s family. But once his mother realized Blake and Autumn were a packaged deal, she’d been contrite and eager to please. She loved Blake too much to risk losing him for good. Autumn seemed open to giving his mother a second chance. My opinion differed vastly. In my mind, once a psycho bitch, always a psycho bitch.
“Drama, drama, drama,” I said through clenched teeth as we both turned to walk back to our beach chairs. “I thought we could get some perks once our best friend got engaged to a pro football player. Instead we have to play sentinel against the media and deal with his dick friends.”
“Speaking of, what’s up with you and Justin? I saw your face when Delia said he was meeting us in Barbados. Your skin turned green and you looked like you just sucked a lemon,” Lexi said, slowing her pace down.
I felt a flush in my cheeks. “He rubs me the wrong way, that’s all. I met him at that gala thing in Baltimore we went to with Autumn. The last time I saw him was months ago when Blake and his teammates were staying in Atlantic City.”
Lexi stopped in her tracks and stared at me. She blinked at me as I shifted from side to side. Her mouth suddenly made a surprised “o” shape as if she had finally solved a mental puzzle. “You mean the Atlantic City trip where we got back and you broke things off with Cole?”
“Justin is not the reason Cole and I aren’t together,” I said through gritted teeth. “I told you why we ended things.”
“Casey, you’re one of my best friends and I can tell when you’re lying. You get all twitchy and quiet. And you’re the kind of person that never shuts up. Did you and Justin…?”
I coughed and looked down at the sand. Couldn’t Lexi sense I was trying not to reflect on my brief but traumatic time with Justin? Bad enough, I would have to see him in a few days. Did she have to force me to conjure up his infuriatingly perfect face? Justin had it all: killer body, perfect coiffed blond hair, dazzling green eyes. He could have anyone. But to my great misfortune, he had decided he wanted me.
“Fine,” I hissed at her. “Justin and I had sex in Atlantic City and that’s the reason Cole and I broke up. Can you leave it alone now?” My defensiveness was automatic. Admitting my sins out loud didn’t make me feel better. It only dredged up the awful feelings tied to that night.
Lexi’s brown eyes appeared wounded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I know I fucked up something great, Lexi. And I didn’t want to hear about what a terrible person I am for cheating on the one guy I thought was my soulmate,” I said with tears in my voice. I swiped at my eyes angrily.
“Casey, I’m not your priest. I’m your friend. I would want to help you through your breakup. This whole time you never gave me a hint that you felt so strongly about Cole,” she said.
“Yes, well I’m more of an enigma than everyone thinks,” I said sarcastically, steadfastly maintaining my guard.
Lexi frowned at me. “So, what went down with you and Justin?”
I shook my head vehemently. “I don’t want to get into it right now.” Lexi opened up her mouth to argue, but I placed a hand up to quiet her. “I’ll tell you all about it soon, but we are in probably the most beautiful place I ever seen in my life. Let’s just pretend assholes like Justin don’t exist here.”
After a split second’s hesitation, Lexi nodded her head in agreement. I could tell she wanted the whole sordid story. Her intentions were benign—Lexi was a natural born fixer. Put a problem in front of her and she wouldn’t stop until it was resolved to her upmost sati
sfaction.
I was the runner. Sadly, my time for running was almost out. There was no place to run anymore. The truth was going to come out one way or another. And all my regrets would blow up fantastically in my face.
Chapter Eight
Six Months Earlier…
“Why do you have to go with your friends to Atlantic City? Wouldn’t you just rather stay here in bed?” Cole sighed into my ear. I went to move to a sitting position, but he wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me back into bed.
Snuggling comfortably under his arms, I rested my head against his bare chest. He felt warm and smelled heavenly. He was low-maintenance in the bathroom, using only soap and deodorant, but the simple combination made his scent deliciously masculine. I felt like I honestly could remain content staying intertwined with him forever.
“I wish you could come,” I said quietly, using my forefinger to trace a line down his torso until I neared his waistband.
“I know. Dumb band practice and work. Once I get a sweet-ass record deal, I can just put an album out each year and spend the rest of the time as your man candy,” he said.
My laughter was light-hearted. I was a different Casey with Cole. I floated in a cloud way above the earth. “I love that plan.”
“Well, I hope you come back from Atlantic City as a big winner. I’ll give you fifty dollars to put on red for me,” he said into my hair.
“Ugh, I hate gambling. It pains me to part with money. To depend on luck for one’s happiness is a fool’s errand,” I said in a mock profound voice. “Read that in a fortune cookie once.”
I could feel the rumble of Cole’s laughter through his chest. “I love that you take advice from a fortune cookie.” His voice started as joking, but turned serious. “I know we met last year, but these past couple of months have been eye opening. I feel like I’m getting to know you better than anyone else.”
I patted him away playfully. The sincerity in his voice was making me uneasy. I hadn’t done serious in a long time. Everything seemed to be happening way too fast and I was trying to let my brain catch up to my heart. I’d made so many mistakes before with men and I never trusted my judgment when it came to the opposite sex. I had a lot of regrets in my past: one-night stands with men I didn’t even end up liking the next morning, drunken hookups with horny frat boys who couldn't care less about me, relationships that revolved around sex instead of love.
My restlessness came from wanting Cole more than I ever thought possible. I was terrified of allowing myself to be completely vulnerable with a man who could possibly wake up one morning and decide he wanted something I couldn’t give him.
“That’s because most girls haven’t even been in your life long enough to gather souvenirs.”
“Souvenirs?”
“Yeah, you know like undershirts, boxers, your previously chewed bubble gum.” I smiled balefully at the disgusted sound he made in the back of his throat. “Don’t worry, I’ve been secretly collecting so I can sell it all on eBay once you’re famous.”
Before he could answer, a loud knock shook his bedroom door, rattling the hinges. “Hey asswipe, quit plowing Casey’s field and let’s go. Levi and Rain are waiting!” Evan shouted through the door.
“I’m coming!” Cole snapped back.
“You better be after how damn long you’ve been in that room,” he called back and I could hear his barking laughter as he walked away from the locked door.
“Ugh, you really need to move. We need more privacy. I’m really tired of having to muffle my screams during sex,” I complained.
My words were an obvious invitation. Cole palmed my naked breast, before moving his lips to cover mine. My heart went instantly into overdrive. His kiss was teasing and playful. I thought we were both spent from the sex we just had, but he was gearing me up for round two. The intensity never subsided when we were together, I only wanted more and more. Between slow, sensual kisses, he said, “Maybe we should move somewhere together. Then you can scream as much as you want.”
I gasped at his words as well as how his fingertips brushed over my sensitive nipples. My back arched as he applied just the right amount of pressure. I managed, “Wouldn’t that be crazy fast?”
His scruff nuzzled my neck as he spoke. “We’re not exactly strangers, Casey. And I’m not saying right away, but you’ll be graduating after next semester and will need an off-campus apartment for grad school. I see us together then and for a long time after then.”
“You can?” I whispered, my deepest desires so delicate at the moment.
“Yes. I want you as my future. My mom told my brothers and me this story once…” He trailed off and as he pulled away I saw uncertainty creep into his expression. I took his hand in mine to encourage him to continue. Cole struggled to be expressive. His steelworker dad was a hardened man who had kept everything bottled inside. No one in his family knew he'd struggled with depression until it was too late.
He smiled down at our hands although his voice sounded strained. “Anyway, she told us that there was one sure way to discover if we found our tesoro.” At my unspoken question, he elaborated, “Tesoro means a treasure in Italian. She said we should kiss a girl for one minute without stopping. No touching, groping, or other funny business as she called it. After that minute, you’ll know for sure if she’s the one. Because if we were looking for more or felt like we were just going through the motions, then she wasn’t right for us.”
“And…?”
“And you’re my tesoro,” he said softly.
I brushed my thumb across his soft and smooth lips. “I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me before,” I said, feeling choked up. “You were my undiscovered treasure for so long. I thought I knew who you were and what you were after, but I was so wrong. And I regret every time I told you no. Because I missed out on having this with you.”
Evan started knocking again, but Cole ignored him. He had me on my back and rained down kisses all over my face and neck. As his fingers slipped below the covers and found my opening, I understood we were both going to be late for our evening plans.
But I didn’t have a care in the world. I had him and I was finally ready to give him all of me. Not only my body, but also my heart. My body I’d been all to ready to hand over from the second we kissed, but my heart had been a different story. My heart was safely guarded with what I thought was impenetrable security measures. Little did I know that Cole had the combo in his back pocket from the moment we'd met.
***
“Hey, what are you lost in thought about?”
Cole’s tone from my memories was much different. The old version of Cole had a soft hypnotizing lilt to his voice. Cole’s voice had changed: harder with a distrustful quality. My heart hurt to think of what type of irreparable damage I had inflicted upon him. If only he could look inside of my heart and know that if I could go back to change things, I would in a heartbeat. My intentions were never to ruin us, but because of who I was, I had anyway.
“Nothing just tired. Guess all the traveling has finally caught up with me,” I said quietly. After returning to the ship and setting sail for the next island, we had decided on a group dinner with the men. After dinner, we headed to the outside decks to enjoy the gentle ocean breeze. I had drifted away from everyone to stare morosely out into the ocean.
I ran a hand through my hair, knowing the curls were too tight to tame, and frizzing whether I wanted them to or not. I hoped I had the fetching windblown look and not appear like I stuck my finger in a socket. My white skirt billowed up from time to time and I smoothed it flat against my thighs.
Surprisingly, Cole took the chair next to mine and leaned back comfortably. “Do you know this is the first time I’ve been out of the country?”
I nodded and smiled at him. “Your mom never wanted to travel?” I sidestepped mentioning his dad. Cole opened up to me eventually about his dad’s depression and suicide, but it took him a long time. I wasn’t his girlfriend anymor
e and I probably lost the right to mention his father. My father was a non-entity in my life, but at least I had the assurance he was living and breathing somewhere out in the world, continuously striving to make his millions.
“No, she would only want to travel back to the ‘old country,’” he said using air quotes. “Once Trojan Jedi gets signed, my brother and I are going to book a trip with her to Sicily.”
I grinned at him. “Three momma’s boys, I love it.”
“She spoiled us…” he laughed and gave a helpless shrug. “Who am I kidding? She still spoils us. It would be nice to turn it around for a change.”
“You will,” I said, whole-heartedly believed his band would be on the radio one day soon. “Last time I consulted my magic eight-ball, signs pointed to many upcoming world tours for Trojan Jedi.”
He eyeballed me quietly. I used to be able to read Cole—know exactly what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. I didn’t have that same faith in our connection any longer. He looked out at the water as he asked, “What about you? Travel a lot with your parents?”
I held back my snort. “No. My mom’s husbands never wanted me to come along and my father is a workaholic that rarely leaves the city.” I clasped my hands on my lap as I thought back to my childhood. “When my mother married husband number three, she sent me to stay with my dad for a week while she honeymooned. He promised to take some time off and we’d see all the New York tourist traps together. Instead, he hired a nanny for the week and had her schlep me around the city.”
The deck was dimly lit, but I could see Cole’s eyebrows pull together in distaste. “That’s pretty shitty. That must have done a number on you.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. I believe in the concept of personal responsibility. Any bad choices I made in my life are mine to own up to, not my parents.” My voice turned fierce. “I did make a terrible choice by cheating on you and I’m sorry. I’m starting to believe I never told you enough how sorry I am and how much I regret what happened in Atlantic City.”
The Ex Trials (Falling for Autumn #3) Page 6
