She didn’t say anything for a while. We each just sat staring at our screens, drinking our drinks, contemplating if I was indeed going as crazy as I felt I was. Well, at least that was what I was contemplating.
“I call bullshit on that explanation,” she finally said. “You would know if it were an animal watching you. You would hear them, or see their eyes or something. He was probably trying to calm you down.” Jos took another drink and tapped her finger on her chin in contemplation. “Or he was being a dick by disregarding you. Could it be a neighbor? Maybe you have a peeping Tom or some creepy teenager watching you through his bedroom window.” Sometimes it was so hard to keep up with her train of thought.
“No, he wasn’t being a dick. You know how oblivious Dan is when he’s in his own headspace. And nope, we don’t have any neighbors within sight. It’s pretty remote up here. Although the idea someone is creeping around and watching me is even scarier than a wild animal watching me or it being all in my head.” I shivered, looking around and rubbing the goose bumps that rose up on my arms.
“Oh, stop. There’s no one there right now, silly. You’d have felt it. You’re just getting weirded out by our conversation,” she scolded, and then went quiet as a look crossed her face.
I recognized that look. It meant an idea was brewing. It was never good when she got it. It usually led to us embarking on “adventures” which ended in me hurt or scared and telling her I was never trusting her harebrained ideas again. “No, no, no. You can stop right there with whatever idea just popped into your twisted little mind, Josephine Mae Davis. The last time you gave me that look, I ended up with a broken foot and nearly got arrested!”
“Hey, it could’ve worked! I didn’t know the rocks were so slippery. Or that your top would come undone as you fell. Or that there was a family with kids within view. Man, will you ever forgive me and let it go?” she asked in a huff, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Nope, never. My foot still hurts on really cold days.”
“Yeah, but it was kind of worth it, right?”
I groaned in response, taking a drink. I knew there was no use in me trying to argue with her. And it had been kind of worth it at the time.
“Anyway, I know exactly what it is!” she nearly shouted, excited by her theory.
“And what would that be? An android or something?” I asked, unable to suppress my snarky retort.
“No, but it actually isn’t a half-bad idea. But it’s really wet where you live, so that doesn’t really make any logical sense. It’s a ghost. You have a ghost following you around.”
“Seriously, Jos? A ghost makes more logical sense to you than an android? Also, I’m pretty sure androids are waterproof. A ghost? This is the last time I confide in you about anything like this. Pfft, a fucking ghost,” I murmured to myself, taking the last sip of my drink.
“What? It’s possible! Just you wait. When you find you are living with a hot ghost, you can let me know, and I’ll make sure a pottery wheel is delivered, and I won’t even say I told you so.”
At this point, she couldn’t contain her laughter. My shoulders began to shake, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer either. Before I knew it, we were both laughing hysterically, tears streaming down my face.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened with Jason? I want the full, honest truth. Not this dramatic retelling you try to pass off as the truth. I’m sure it’s spicy enough without needing embellishment, knowing you.”
“I’ve pretty much just finished off this entire bottle of wine on my own, and your stuff is so much more fun to talk about. Can we just skip my shit for now?”
“Nope, no way. You’ve intrigued me, and I am sick of focusing on myself. Talk.”
“Fine, but you are getting the super-condensed version of it. It’s really not interesting anyway. Remember I had that seminar I needed to teach? Oh, wait, no, you don’t, because you’ve been MIA, bitch!” she began, going off on a tangent.
I was used to reining her back in and leading her back to the conversation we were supposed to be having. “Yeah. I’m sorry, okay? Now, back to the seminar.”
“Oh. So yeah, I was supposed to teach it, and there were probably a good hundred people signed up, which is the biggest group I’ve been scheduled for.”
“Okay,” I said as I gave her the gesture to hurry it along. It was useless, Jos would tell the story at her pace.
She rolled her eyes before continuing, “So I asked Veronica to help me. She agreed, but then texted me a couple of hours before it started saying she was sick, food poisoning or something.”
“Uh-huh. What does this have to do with Jason?”
“I’m getting to it, will you please stop interrupting?” She shook her head at me in exasperation. “I’d tried to make plans with Jason for after the seminar, but he had some important meeting he needed to prep for. So I show up at the studio only to find out there had been a small electrical fire and everything was soaked when the sprinklers went off. We had to cancel the seminar.”
“Holy shit, Jos! Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, no one was injured and the damage to the studio was minor,” she said, waving her hand to brush off my concerns. “Anyway, I figured I’d surprise Jason with some dessert and hang out for a bit since it was still really early.”
She stopped and poured herself the last of the wine, swirling it around in her glass. She normally wasn’t one to stall, but I had an idea where this was going, so I let her.
“Well, he’d given me a key to his place a couple of weeks earlier. I know it was kinda quick, but he assured me he was serious about us. He must have forgotten I had the key. I entered and he wasn’t in the living room, but I heard noises coming from the bedroom. I decided to surprise him, so I stripped down naked in the living room and threw open the bedroom door saying I had dessert and was dessert.”
I laughed out loud at the move that screamed Jos. “What happened?”
“Well, it would’ve been pretty epic if I hadn’t walked in on him and Veronica sixty-nining. Wanna know the worst part of it?” I couldn’t hold in my gasp, but Jos kept right on going.
“There is something worse than walking in on your friend and boyfriend simultaneously rounding third base?”
She sniffle-laughed, and it was heartbreaking to see her so upset over the douche. It took a lot to upset or rattle her.
“The worst part was when they both looked up, he smiled and asked me to join them! And Veronica just looked at me and shrugged, like, why not? I mean seriously, who the fuck does that?”
“Your douchey ex? What did you do? You didn’t call me from jail, so it wasn’t anything too crazy, right?”
“I did what any normal person in my position would do. I dumped my dessert over the custom suit hanging on his closet door and let him know she’d just tested positive for herpes a month ago. It was a lie, as far as I know, but the look on his face was priceless. I don’t know if he was more pissed about the thousands he would have to spend to replace that suit or potential exposure to genital sores.”
“Wow. I don’t think I would’ve had the forethought to do anything more than walk out. And Veronica? That was beyond a cunty thing to do to a friend. I’m sorry, babe, it just fucking sucks. See, it’s times like these where I wish I could just drive over with booze and hugs.”
I hated being so far away while she was going through all this. She deserved to have me there with her to hug her and get her wasted on wine and ice cream and popcorn while watching old movies.
“I’ll be fine. I really liked him, but it wasn’t like I was full-blown in love yet. Anyway, you telling me about your ghostly suitor when he finally makes his appearance will make up for all this drama,” she said as she smiled and brushed a tear away. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her.
“What if it’s a woman?” I asked, laughing with her at the silliness of the whole thing.
Eight
I was standing on my balcony, leaning on the r
ailing, looking at the trees and water below me. It was that fleeting time of day where it wasn’t quite daytime and wasn’t quite dusk, but you could feel the change in the air. It was misting so heavily it was almost drizzling.
I thought I saw someone at the water’s edge. A slight form dressed in white. It wasn’t a child, but they almost looked too small to be an adult. I watched as they leaned over to touch the water.
They must have lost their balance because all of a sudden, they began to slip. It was so hard to see though, I didn’t trust my eyes, but I leaned forward and started shouting, shouting until my voice was hoarse. I pushed myself away from the balcony edge so I could run down and help.
In my haste, I tripped. Next thing I knew, I was falling over the edge of the balcony. I opened my mouth to scream, but I had no voice left, even if I could get a sound to make it past the absolute terror paralyzing me.
I flailed my arms.
I tried to remember what lay directly beneath the part of the balcony I had fallen over. Was it soft grass or was I destined to leave a broken body on the paver stones below? Just as I thought the ground was upon me, I was caught up quick and tight. I opened my eyes and cautiously looked around to see what had been my salvation.
The first thing I made eye contact with was a beautiful, expressive pair of green eyes. I gasped as butterflies rioted in my stomach at the same time this intense feeling of comfort came over me. I was tucked firmly in the man’s arms, and he was holding me like he was about to carry me over the threshold. I breathed in deeply, leaned my head back slightly, and took in his face.
It was the same man who had been in the dream I had before. It all finally clicked in my head, though my body had been clued into this fact the minute he touched me. I somehow knew this man, intimately and soul-deep.
Before I could move or say anything, he leaned his head toward mine and whispered in my ear in an impossibly deep, soothing voice, “I’ve got you. You’re here with me now.”
The man pulled back and I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, his lips were only a breath away from mine, and my insides swooped and freefell, as though I was on a roller coaster.
Just as our lips made light contact, I jerked awake.
I placed my hand on my heaving chest as I tried to get my breathing to calm down. I didn’t know how a dream could affect me this way, but it was becoming a frequent occurrence since moving to the island.
Some nights I had no recollection of the details, but the vivid, stirring emotions took hours to dissipate. The few I did remember were all different, but this same man always appeared.
Dan stirred beside me, stretching and groaning.
“Everything okay, babe?” he mumbled in his gravely, sleep-filled voice.
“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. It was just a dream.”
“Then come here.”
I lay back down and let him pull my back to his front, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. He fell back asleep pretty much instantaneously, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t shake the feeling the dream brought out.
After over an hour of tossing and turning, I decided to get up and do something to try to distract myself. I went downstairs to make myself a cup of tea and grabbed my notebook and pencil. I curled up in the comfy armchair and stared outside.
It was so dark and misty I couldn’t see anything. I doodled and drank my tea, trying to think of something, anything other than the dream.
I closed my eyes, resting my head on the back of the chair. My thoughts drifted to the things Jos and I had discussed, the other things bothering me.
Something had to change. I needed to change. Somehow, I’d allowed myself to become a hermit up here on this hill. I had to start getting out, exploring, making friends.
A couple of months was more than enough time to get adjusted to a new place. Now it was time to start living. I decided that in the morning I would venture out and explore the island more.
I finally felt my body start to relax when a slight breeze moved past me, even though all the doors and windows were closed. Then came the sensation of fingertips brushing over my hand, followed closely by that scent.
Before I could stop myself, I inhaled deeply. I really loved that damn smell. The sensation that someone was standing close to me, watching me? Yeah, I did not enjoy the feeling. Dan’s joke about it being a ghost and being haunted slammed right back in my mind.
“Hello?” I called out in almost a whisper. “Is anyone there?”
There was no response. I looked through all the windows in the room to see if I could see anyone or anything out there. Nothing. The scent was already starting to dissipate.
“I’m seriously losing it, aren’t I? Talking to ghosts.” I laughed to myself, shaking my head. I decided to head back to bed.
As my foot hit the first stair, the scent washed back over me with renewed strength, and again something whispered across the palm of my hand and down my fingers. I shivered, my skin instantly covered in goose bumps.
“Hello?”
Again, I got no response, so I headed the rest of the way upstairs. I usually only bought into logic. Try as I might, I could not seem to find a reasonable explanation for any of this that made sense and felt right in my heart.
But ghosts? There was no way. I know some people believed they existed, but I was not one of them. No, there was obviously some explanation I was missing right now, but I was certain it would come to me eventually.
* * *
This day was already making me its bitch.
I couldn’t stop the thought from going through my head as I dragged my body downstairs and into the kitchen. I considered turning around and heading right back to bed. I had missed too much sleep the night before and ended up sleeping in, causing me to miss watching Dan get ready for work.
It had become a nice morning ritual I loved and needed since it was really the only time we got to spend together now. His work had picked up, not slowed down.
The project was a couple of months in, and the planning phase would be complete this week. I hoped it meant he would be around a little more, but if experience had taught me anything, especially recently, I knew not to get my hopes up too much.
I made my way down to the coffee pot knowing today called for something stronger than my usual tea. There was a note right next to the pot from Dan, letting me know he hoped I got to sleep in, and that he loved and missed me. I smiled as I traced my fingertips along his bold, clear writing.
I went about making my coffee, had breakfast standing at the counter flipping through a magazine, and turned back to grab the note from Dan. I had a box I kept little things like this in.
For some reason, the note wasn’t next to the coffee pot where I had left it, and I spent the next fifteen minutes tearing the kitchen apart trying to find it. It was gone, had disappeared into thin air. I was a little sad about it but figured it would turn up later, and even if it didn’t, it wasn’t the biggest deal.
Until I found it in my notebook at the coffee shop.
* * *
“How was your day, babe?” Dan headed to the couch with our beers while I trailed him with our dinner plates.
“It was great. I got out of the house and I really like it here so far. Strangely enough, it kinda already feels like home.”
I paused to take a bite and shrugged, then looked up and smiled at him. Dan returned the smile and we both sat in slightly awkward silence as we ate our dinners. I suddenly remembered the note from earlier.
“Sweetie, I saw your note this morning. Did you happen to write two of them?” I asked, aware as it came out of my mouth how silly it sounded.
“Two notes? You mean two different ones? Are you talking about the note I left near the coffee pot this morning?”
“Yeah. But no, I mean two of the same.”
I could tell by his questions he had not, in fact, written more than one version of the note.
“Why would I do tha
t?”
“I don’t know. I saw the one you left at the coffee pot but it was gone when I went to put it away a few minutes later.”
“Okay, but I don’t get why that would make you think I wrote two of the same note, Ros.”
I bit back my exasperation, knowing it wouldn’t get us anywhere. “Because I tore up the kitchen looking for it with no luck. Then I found it tucked in a notebook I hadn’t even touched this morning when I was at the coffee shop!”
I’d done a terrible job of hiding my frustration, which was reinforced by the incredulous quirk of Dan’s eyebrow.
The more I tried to explain, the more confused I became. If he hadn’t written two of them and I hadn’t moved the note, I had no idea how it had ended up in the notebook.
“Strange. I don’t know, babe. I only wrote the one.”
“Hmmm. I guess it’s not important. How was your day? Any new developments on the project?” I was eager to change the subject and get the focus off of me.
“We’re having some issues and I’ve been spending more time at the island facility during the day. If we’re going to fix this without falling behind, it’s going to take some long days and me staying overnight just makes more sense.”
He continued to talk and tell me what little he could, but I found myself drifting off, trying not to drown in the frustration and discontent surging inside me. I knew this was his career, and while I would never interfere, with each setback it became harder to believe him when he said that our marriage came first.
* * *
Two days later I woke up alone again. This was quickly becoming routine, and I hated it. I missed watching him get ready in the morning. I missed the intimacy of the sweet, small shared moments.
The loss of what I had started getting used to left me feeling lonely and sad. As I began getting ready for the day, considering what I wanted to do, I padded down to the kitchen.
Through the Mist Page 5
