Autumn was a sexy newly divorced brunette. She wasn’t looking for anything serious and neither was he so they were perfect.
“Daddy, how is the sad lady that lives next door to you?” Natalie asked.
Tim scrutinized his daughter through narrowed eyes, ‘This kid is psychic!’
Nat asked him about Kassie from time to time, never forgetting their exchange from the summer before. Whenever she came to the house, he would catch her watching Kassie, as if working up the courage to say hi. To her credit, Kassie always waved or stopped to speak to Natalie whenever she saw the child.
“Who is this neighbor anyway?” Nora asked as she retrieved the car keys from her purse and gave them to her husband Bruce.
“Kassie Lawton.”
Nora looked at him wide eyed.
“Kassie Lawton?” Natalie shouted, grabbing her father’s arm. “Kassie Lawton!” She screeched jumping up and down, “She told me her name was Kassie but . . . WOW!”
“Uh yeah.” Tim looked at his daughter with a mixture of amusement and concern. “What’s the big deal?”
“She’s the illustrator for the books we used to read to Nat when she was a little girl.” Nora said. “You know that story ‘Brown bird in the big sycamore’. Remember? The pictures were always so cute.”
Tim looked at the two of them like they were crazy and Bruce laughed.
“We read a thousand books to this kid when she was little.”
“Daaadddyyyy!” Natalie groaned, rolling her eyes at Tim.
Norah had to laugh too. “You’ll remember when you see them.”
“She was married to Monroe Evans and apparently the guy was a bit of a player, so she left him.” Bruce chimed in.
Tim looked at Bruce with raised eyebrows.
“Bathroom reading, man,” Bruce said with an uncomfortable smirk. “Bathroom reading.”
“Sure.” Tim threw him a look and Nora cracked up.
“Think she’d sign my books?” Natalie asked, totally ignoring the grownup conversation, lost in Natalie land.
“Sure, if she doesn’t eat you first.” He said. The image of Natalie dressed like Gretel skipping up the path to Kassie’s house illuminated by lightening, rain and wind, popped into his head.
Tim looked at Nora and Bruce, “Monroe Evans huh?”
“Yup.” Nora said.
“Wow.”
“They lived in Chicago because that’s where they met and went to college. But once he hit it big, the cheating started. One woman he was cheating with described, in total detail, the color of their bedroom, the sheets on their bed and even the color of the shower tiles in their bathroom.” Bruce recited the information as if he were reading the article to them. “She was heartbroken . . . according to sources that is.”
Tim looked at Bruce disgustedly and Nora laughed.
Bruce shrugged, “What? So I read Breakin’ Up magazine, is that a crime?
“I read that she threw every single thing he owned out in the hallway of their apartment building and hired a security guard in case he tried to get back in.” Nora added.
No wonder she was such a bitch when she moved in, Tim thought.
“Now I feel bad for fighting with her and refusing to take her packages from the mailman the other day.”
“Daddy!” Natalie gasped.
“You were mean to her?” Nora couldn’t remember him being mean to anyone. Tim was really a very sweet guy.
“She frustrates me.” Tim defended. “And it’d be so much easier to take her nastiness if she was ugly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nora asked putting a hand on her hip. Tim looked at her remembering how much of a feminist she was.
“I mean sometimes ugly makes you mean, it’s a fact.” It wasn’t really and they all knew it. “If her face looked like a foot I could understand her bitterness just a smidge more.” He reasoned with an innocent face, all the while watching Nora’s indignation rise with inner glee.
“That is so sexist!” She shot angrily.
“How is it sexist? You think I hooked up with you because I loved your brain?” He asked. “Nora you were a college hippie who smelled like patchouli, wore sandals . . . with not the best looking feet in the world let me say, and took offense to everything people said to you if it had sexual “undertones”. You didn’t shave anything but your head because you said hair was a token of one’s beauty and you didn’t want to be a sex symbol.”
Nora stared at him in disbelief.
“But you came to our women’s group meetings!” She sputtered.
Tim covered Natalie’s ears.
“I was trying to get in your pants.” He told her. “No offense Bruce.”
“None taken.” Bruce said with a chuckle. He looked on the verge of wetting his own pants. He loved the back and forth that Nora and Tim had, it was often very funny to watch but never got to the point where they were cursing each other out. Bruce knew Tim was just trying to get Nora’s hackles up and that on some level Nora knew it too.
“God, you’re a pig!” Norah threw over her shoulder as she turned and stormed off.
Bruce gave Tim an amused smirk behind Nora’s back and it made Tim snicker a bit. He kissed Natalie’s head.
“Bye sweetie.”
“Bye-Bye Bruce.” She said smiling as he sprinted after his wife.
“Bye mommy.” Natalie called after her mother.
Nora turned giving Tim the evil eye before blowing a kiss to her daughter.
“Bye baby. Have fun with daddy.” Nora called back.
Natalie took Tim’s hand again.
“Think she’d sign all of my books.”
“You can take them over and see, but I’m not going with you.” He looked down at his daughter. “You might have a better chance on your own; she only likes me a little.”
They walked out to the parking lot. It, like the lobby, was full of parents standing around chatting. Bruce honked at them as he and Nora drove past.
*****
Kassie stared down at the image she had just sketched, a cluster of almond flowers in bloom. It was the last picture in her book and sketching it had been somewhat cathartic. The other illustrations for her book were stacked in her portfolio, waiting to be dropped off with Rosie in Chicago tomorrow.
This book had been a culmination of dreams for her. For one, she had always wanted to write children’s books. Kassie truly believed that a mind was the easiest to mold, for good, when they were young. She wanted to fill children’s imaginations with the best, most comforting images and thoughts. Though she had never been given that, she wanted kids to have that. She wanted them to have the escape that she never had.
Second, and most painful, her book was supposed to be a gift to her own child. Kassie sighed wistfully. She was thinking about her lost child more and more lately. The child that she thought would solidify her relationship with Monroe was not to be. When she had miscarried Kassie had thought there was no greater pain, only to be proven wrong by Monroe’s adultery and the end of her marriage.
Kassie was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a few moments to realize that her phone was ringing. Frowning, she answered it without looking first.
“Kassie’s phone.” She answered with forced cheer.
“Hey Kass.” The deep baritone of her ex flowed seductively through the line and Kassie sighed; ‘Speak of the Devil!’ There was a time when that voice filled her with longing and set her heart to fluttering. Now she could barely stand to hear it. She wondered how he got her number and was more than sure it was one of their mutual friends who had given it to him. They had been such an attractive and tight knit couple that there were still many amongst their friends who believed that she and Monroe would get back together someday.
“First, why are you calling me? And second, when you hang up this phone, lose my number.”
“Kassie I just-,”
“Want to annoy me?” She asked. “Make my life miserable because I finally got s
mart enough to kick you out of it?”
“No Kassie. Come on, you know that we were best friends. I haven’t felt the same without you. I miss you.” He said.
Kassie closed her eyes. They had been really good friends at one time and she missed it a little bit too, but not enough to be his doormat again.
“You wanted to share your fucking bed with every girl who smiled and showed you her breast! I left so you could “live your life without some chick holding you back”, isn’t that what you said?” She asked.
“Kass I understand you’re pissed at me, hell I’m pissed at me, but I don’t want us to not be able to talk again.”
“I’m talking to you right now aren’t I?” She snapped. “So hear this. We will never be best friends again. I will get to a place in myself where I can be around you again without feeling angry and betrayed, but it isn’t now.” Kassie fought for all she was worth to keep from crying.
“I know Kass. I know . . . I just miss you. I miss what we had. I know that I’m the reason it ended but I couldn’t see what I had when I had it. I didn’t realize what I had when I had you. I wanted to be single but I wanted to have you and I know that’s not how it works.” He said. Kassie didn’t say a word; she wasn’t going to say anything. He lost her because of his own pigginess. She wouldn’t correct him. “Listen, I’m ending my engagement. But when I do I was hoping we could see each other, maybe have dinner and talk things over.”
Kassie scoffed at him. ‘Same asshole!’
“Are you insane Monroe?” She asked quietly. “I can’t trust you an ounce. If you think I’m going to go back to your lying cheating ass again-,”
“Kassie-,”
“Our baby!” Kassie said loudly and with such agony that he didn’t speak. “Our baby, that I thought would make our marriage strong again, died while you were out having sex with another woman. Is that what a husband does? If it was me, Monroe, you would have called me every name in the book and kept me just for torture. You would have tortured me with it day and night relentlessly until I left or begged your forgiveness on my knees. I didn’t do that to you, I refused to do that to you. At least I let go.”
“Kassie I’m sorry. God, you’ll never realize how sorry I am.” His voice shook remorsefully and a part of her realized that he had lost the baby too. She wondered if it, maybe, had affected him in any way.
“I want to believe you Monroe. I really do, but it’s too late.” She sniffled. She’d tried not to cry but it was a losing battle, the feelings were still so strong. “I would have taken you back, before the miscarriage, because I loved you that much, or I was just that stupid, who knows. But after losing my baby, something inside me changed, my feelings for you changed . . . Don’t call me again Monroe. Every time I hear your voice all I can think of is excruciating pain.”
She hung up, placing the phone down on her desk quietly. Kassie sat there for God knows how long, staring at the wall with silent tears streaming down her face.
*****
Timothy reached over to close the blinds, freezing in his shoes when he saw Kassie across the way. She sat behind her desk, staring at the wall as if dazed and Tim could have sworn she was crying. From the living room he could hear Natalie and Griff wrestling around. The happy barking and laughter were a striking contrast to the scene of misery before him. She looked so sad that it broke his heart. Now he understood a little better why that sadness had disturbed Natalie so much.
Tim closed the blinds, not wanting her to know he had witnessed her private moment. He wondered what was making her so miserable. She was beautiful, wealthy and had a brilliant career. She was alone for the most part, but Kassie seemed to have a very active social life judging from the friends who came in and out of her home constantly. Still, that was a huge house to be all alone in every night.
Nat ran into the den with Griffin right on her heels. He stopped on a dime right beside her.
“Can I have cookies?” She asked.
“Yeah, but no chocolate for him, only the plain oatmeal ones.”
The two tore out of the room and Tim called behind them, “Only two cookies for both of you!” Natalie’s groan was his answer.
For a moment, Tim stood there staring at his violin. He almost felt like going over and seeing if she was ok. But he wondered how receptive she was be to him being anywhere near her.
Kassie wasn’t feeling work anymore and decided to call it a night. She had been a bit hungry but lost her appetite with that phone call. Instead, she went upstairs to the beach room and decided to do a little more work on it before heading to bed.
*~*~*~*
Chapter 10
On these fall days that were cool and sunny, Kassie stayed in the yard. She’d rake up leaves, plant bulbs for the next year or sit in a lounge chair on her patio, watching the geese fly over her house. She had lived such a busy and tumultuous life with Monroe in Chicago, that sometimes she had forgotten that there was such a thing as peace. But here in her own little sanctuary, Kassie couldn’t imagine giving up her new life and going back to the old one.
The worst part about living in herself imposed exile was that no one was there to distract her from thinking about her life. No one was there to talk to when she needed. Kassie existed in a bubble of insecurity and sadness. Sure there were pockets of happiness and her friends were the best, most supportive friends any girl could ask for, but honestly, she was lonely.
Kassie had not gone out with a man since Nick and she had no intention of doing so either. Every time she even thought about dating, she would cringe inside. Honestly, she was having a hard time trusting her own judgment. Kassie had come to the conclusion that she would have to live in celibacy because she would never give any one the chance to hurt her again.
Men had ruined her life. Every man, from the father who had walked out on her when she was nine, to the pedophilic step father who tried his best to take away her innocence and up to Monroe who took her love and threw it away like garbage. Every man she had ever loved had played a part in ruining her life.
Reclining on her patio, sipping her tea, Kassie was startled as something streaked across her yard. Standing quickly, she was pleasantly surprised to see Griffin running from one end of her yard to the next. The dog rolled around on her grass before jumping up and running off again. He dropped a little red squirrel on the grass and Kassie ran to pick it up, tossing it into the air where he promptly jumped and caught it. Griff trotted back to where Kassie stood laughing at him and plopped himself down in front of her.
“Hey Crazy.” She said kneeling down to pet him. She had come to start calling the silly dog “Crazy” since it seemed to suit him and, oddly, he answered to it. He ran away again, rolling around with the toy then running back to her and dropping it at her feet. He put his paws in her thighs and nudged her hand with his head as if to say ‘Go on, you know you want to.’ Kassie giggled and gave him what he wanted, ‘I wonder if Tim would let his dog live with me on the weekends.’ She mused jokingly.
*****
Tim looked out seeing Griffin in her yard and quickly ran out of the house. He just didn’t trust her after what she said about poisoning his dog. Granted that was a year ago but he was still wary of her. As he ran out though, he heard her talking to Griffin and stopped to listen; he crept closer. Kassie was kneeling next to the dog, scratching behind his ears affectionately.
“You’re a pretty boy aren’t you? You’re a pretty, pretty boy.” She cooed softly. For his part, Griffin lay there like a log. ‘Traitorous mutt. For God’s sake the woman threatened to kill you!’ Tim thought to himself. If Griff’s life depended on his running away from Kassie at that moment, the dog would be a goner. He kept listening, his ears not believing what they were hearing as she lavished Griffin with affection.
“Kassie’s going to have to buy you some more treats isn’t she? You’re almost out.”
His mouth dropped open. ‘So! That’s why he came in smelling like processed foods sometimes, he’s bee
n consorting with the enemy all this time! Tim smirked to himself. Hell, if I was Griff, I’d consort with her too. He shook his head and chuckled softly. This chick was something else. He wanted to jump over that fence and take a picture of her laughing and smiling with his dog. Just to show the neighbors that she really could be nice.
“Griffin!” He called, looking around and pretending he just ran into the yard. Kassie jumped to her feet, looking a little guilty and Griffin picked up his toy, walking innocently to Tim. ‘Yeah right pal tell it to the judge.’ Tim glared at the dog as he slunk back into their yard.
Kassie stared at Tim admiringly a bit. There was something about him that was all too tempting. She looked away when he turned his attention back on her, her expression a little chagrined and he smiled inwardly. Yup, she was checking him out. Awesome! Cause he had been checking her out for a year.
He was wearing his glasses today. His clothes were so relaxed and slightly nerdy yet sexy. He wore simple khaki shorts, and a red tee shirt with Wolf pack and Beers written on it in white lettering. Kassie almost laughed because he was far and away from looking like a typical ladies man. But then she remembered some of the women she had seen coming from his house and realized she might be wrong. Besides, looking at him this close brought home to her how handsome he was. Suddenly, she couldn’t take her eyes off him.
Kassie swallowed. “I, I’m sorry. I must have left my gate open.”
“No problem, I should have kept a better eye on him.”
She turned and walked back to her house. Tim couldn’t take his eyes off her delicious bottom, quietly praying,
“Please God, give me that for Christmas.” He turned and walked out of her yard.
*****
Kassie’s convertible pulled into the yard fast enough to make Tim’s heart stop. She was a fast driver sometimes, but usually she would peel out or in only at night when the streets were empty. He and Griff were just returning from a long walk as she was getting out of her car, her arms laden with packages.
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