But this apprehensive and fear filled morning she started to paint the guest room down the hall before he woke up. When he saw her on his way to the bathroom, he quickly washed up and came to help. She appreciated the help. There were spots at the top of the window that she couldn’t reach to tape so he did it.
This was going to be the blue room; the walls were going to be white, but the accents were cobalt blue. She was in the middle of freehand painting a rose on the cobalt trim of the window.
“So.” Tim looked down at her from where he stood on the step stool. He was touching up the trim on the top of the windows, making certain that none of the blue got onto the wall, with a small paint brush. “I have to treat you to a date night for taking me and Griff into your home.” He said.
“Oh, you don’t have to.” Kassie shook her head.
“I’d enjoy it. I really enjoyed the last one.” He smiled down at her.
Kassie bit her lip. “I’ll think about it.”
“Know what I think?”
“What?” She dipped her small brush into the plastic cup of white paint she held, trying not to look at him.
“I think that you’re a real sweetheart but you try to put up this wall.” He said softly.
“Doesn’t everyone put up walls?” She asked.
“Yes, but most of us allow people behind those walls.” He said gently.
Kassie lowered her head. “Yeah well, when you grow up the way I did letting people in isn’t something that comes easily.” She said bitterly.
He looked down at her, hearing the deep anger in her voice. Tim wondered what happened to her when she was a girl.
“What was wrong with how you grew up?” He asked.
Her head snapped up. Was he judging her? He probably thought she was some spoiled brat who thought she never got her way and thought her life was so horrible. He had no clue how she lived.
“How did you grow up? Little white house with a picket fence and a golden retriever?” She asked.
“More like a rundown apartment in Chicago with my two older brothers. My folks are anthropologists. They were always traveling so my oldest brother raised us until he got married, then Tyler and I moved in with my grandparents. But those six years living with my brother were tough. He wasn’t very smart with money. My folks would send money once a month and he would pay the rent but not always the bills. He would buy a little food to tie us over and take the rest of the money for himself, not thinking about the fact that Tyler and I had to get to school or needed clothes or even medicine. My grandparents lived in the house I live in now. They thought we were doing alright until Tyler finally broke after Dale got married, dropped out of college and moved his wife into the already cramped apartment,” He said looking down at her.
“Me and Tyler moved here with my grandparents, I finished junior high and high school and went to Florida for college. When I found out my grandparents were selling their house, I took all the money I had and bought it from them. Even though it’s mine they still regard it as their house. It had been for forty three years of their now fifty-five year marriage. Everyone has a story, Kass. What’s yours?”
Kassie didn’t talk about her life. It was, in her opinion, depressing to rehash all of the events that had scarred her, for there were many.
For a moment silence held in the room and he thought she wouldn’t answer him.
“My dad left when I was twelve, he took my little brother Benjamin with him, leaving me and my mom. A year later, my mom married a pedophile who tried to rape me in our basement while I was doing my laundry. I was fourteen. When I told her what he did, he denied it and said I was trying to steal from him. He had money and mom didn’t want to lose her meal ticket so I was expendable.” Kassie said.
Tim stepped down off the stool staring at her.
“But here’s the kicker, two months before mom kicked me out, my father called me, acting like he really cared about me. I was trying so hard to get away from Warren, and I was trapped. My dad stayed in contact with me for about a month and I told him how I didn’t trust Warren.” She shook her bangs out of her eyes and sighed. “God, I prayed that he would take me away like he did Benny, but he didn’t want me. He said I’d be fine and then just stopped calling. So there I was, stuck in a house with a perverted stepfather and a careless mother.” She said softly as she twirled the brush around in the paint.
“I think being kicked out was a saving grace because I learned how to take care of myself and how to survive. Maybe God knew I wouldn’t survive with my father’s elitist family either. I got a job as a cashier and slept in friends homes, boarding rooms and a few times in abandoned houses.”
“What happened to your parents?” He asked gently.
“Well my stepfather eventually told my mother the truth when he thought he had terminal cancer. It turned out his test was mixed up with someone else’s but it was too late, he’d told her. I thought I would finally get some justice . . . no dice. She is still married to him by the way and blamed me for not telling her what was happening when I actually did tell her a million times what he was trying to do to me.” Kassie sighed.
Tim felt awful for her. What kind of mother kicks their kid out of the house and stays with their child’s abuser?
“When my illustrations started appearing in books and Monroe started to become more and more famous my mom and dad came out of nowhere trying to make amends. I rejected them the way they rejected me and I try very hard not to speak to them.” Kassie said.
Tim stared at her, suddenly understanding why she cried when she was alone, why she looked so miserable sometimes. He didn’t blame her for feeling that way; her life had been shitty.
“You did a good job pulling your ass out of the fire.” He said.
Kassie turned away so that he didn’t see her tears.
He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder, holding Kassie tight. “I have a new respect for you.” He said.
“Thank you.” Kassie sighed, turning in his arms and putting her head on his chest. He smelled so good that she just inhaled his cologne in light soft breaths. He squeezed her and ran his hands up and down her back soothingly.
They stayed like that for a while. Tim held her until she felt like she was all right.
*****
His hold felt like it lasted through the rest of the day even after he let her go and even while she prepared dinner, she felt him around her.
“Well how long is it going to be?” Tim asked walking into the kitchen where Kassie was slicing lettuce and tomatoes for their sandwiches. “Are you kidding me?” He said loudly. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Yeah ok.” He turned off his phone and tossed it onto the counter angrily.
“Possibly an extra day until the lights get turned back on.” He said angrily. “And now with this new storm coming that’ll probably be even longer.”
“Your service is on?” She checked her phone but her service was still off.
“Yeah.” He said. “It never went off. I think my company is different from yours. Touch-talk Mobile?”
“No, MWS Worldwide.” She put her phone aside. “You don’t want to be with me?” Kassie asked giving him a playful pout.
“Yeah don’t try to make me feel badly.” He said smiling. “All of my food is going bad.”
“I’ll teach you a trick I did when I was homeless.” She said softly.
He stared at her a moment. “Ok.”
“I have a metal garbage can in my garage. I haven’t used it yet so you’re welcome to it.” She said. “Fill the bottom of the can with clean snow, put some of your food in, and cover it with a few inches of snow. Do another layer of food, cover that with about two inches of snow. Keep doing it until you reach to about five inches from the top then pack it in with snow and put the lid on the can. Pile snow up around the sides of the can until it’s about half way up, make sure you store it by the garage in a shady spot.”
&nb
sp; “You did that when you were homeless?” He asked.
“Well when I lived in that abandoned house. I didn’t have a garbage can, I just dug out a spot in the snow. But I would buy a piece of meat; you know stuff that’s on sale or close to overdue. It had to last me for a while, so in the winter I’d cut off pieces and store the rest in the snow, that’s how I survived.” Kassie said.
Tim stared at her for a moment.
“So did you ever street fight for cash?” He asked teasingly.
She giggled shaking her head.
“No but I had to punch a guy in the dick for groping me while I was asleep.” Kassie said eating a piece of lettuce.
“Oh Kassie.” He looked heartbroken.
She waved off his sympathy and smiled, “It made me who I am and that’s how I’m able to survive even the worst things. Doesn’t mean I don’t break sometimes but I pull it together and keep it moving.” She said.
“I keep seeing you as my little Nat. I’d kill Nora if she did that to Natalie.”
“My dad claimed he didn’t know but how could you not know your child is missing somewhere.” Kassie said. “He just didn’t care. He had the child that he cared about and that was it until I made something of myself.”
“I’m sure that’s not it.” Tim said but he wasn’t sure. He would know if Nat was missing and he would be searching for her until he found her.
“Of course it is. You said yourself that Nat’s your world. You would call to check on her every now and again wouldn’t you? My dad never bothered until I was rich, then he tried to play the doting father. No one wants to know you until you have something to offer them. I’ve always felt unloved and I guess I always will until someone loves me just because I giggle at all of his stupid jokes, or take care of him when he’s sick, or smile and kiss him just because. I’ll either get that some way, somehow or I’ll become the crazy cat lady of the neighborhood.”
“Kass.” He said walking to her and slipping his arm over her shoulder. She leaned into him a little and enjoyed the warmth of his embrace. She had to admit she was getting used to these hugs. “I can’t see you as the crazy cat woman.”
“Thank you.”
“I think it’ll be dogs.” He teased.
“Oh shut it.” Kassie giggled.
They laughed together. It made her feel so much better having someone to laugh with other than Rosie.
He brushed his lips along her jaw before kissing her cheek.
“As long as I’m over there you’ll never be alone.” He whispered in her ear and she knew he meant it. It felt like it meant it and that made her so happy.
*****
Kassie bought her knees to her chest staring out on the darkened neighborhood, pink with the snowy night. She was sitting on the window seat in his room waiting for him because he asked her to. The new cushions on all of the window seats in the house were soft and comfortable. She needed it, the back of her thighs were on fire from all of the work they did in the cobalt room today.
Tim had the battery operated lantern she’d given him on and it made the room bright blue. Many of the neighbors had the same laser blue lights shining in their homes and it gave the neighborhood an almost ghostly glow.
“Ok,” Tim said walking into the room with his arms full. He had taken a shower after he came in from refilling the generator. “Generator’s full and the furnace is on fifty two for the night.” He said. “I brought up some snacks so that we can watch movies. I have some zombie flicks, action flicks, and some rom-com’s.” He dumped the armful of junk food he bought from his house onto the bed and Kassie smiled at him.
“You’re letting me hang with you guys tonight?”
“Sure.” He said breezily. “You get to be in the cool room.”
She giggled, then sobered up quickly,
“No zombies. I don’t like them.” She said softly.
He walked over sitting beside her, “Me neither, at least not at night, in a mostly dark house . . . on a mostly dark street.” Tim said.
Kassie looked out the window. It did look very eerie out there tonight but she doubted if a zombie could make it through winter here.
“A hundred and thirty years ago, when most of these houses in this town were built, this is what this it probably looked like every night.” Kassie said. “Candlelit rooms and of course there were no cars. But it was quiet like this and still and romantic.”
He smiled at her. “No wonder there were so many families with ten or fifteen kids back then.” He said softly. “What else was there to do in the dark?”
“Tiiiim.” Kassie said disgusted.
“Wait till you get married again. What do you think you and your husband are going to be doing when those kids are sleep and the lights are off? I can guarantee you won’t be looking at the ceiling and if that is all he does with you, you better be worried because he’s either gay or cheating.” Tim said standing. “At least that’s how Nat got here. Midsummer black out and Nora wearing a tee shirt to bed because of the heat.”
“Really?” She said disgustedly. But honestly it gave her all types of erotic images.
Tim laughed.
“Come on, I have that movie that women always seem to like with the chick that’s in all of those romantic movies.” He said making her laugh.
*****
Sitting in the dark with Griff curled up on her feet, eating junk food with Tim, Kassie felt carefree. Even watching one of Monroe’s action flicks didn’t have the negative effect on her that she’d once thought it would. As a matter of fact, she felt very little in the way of remorse or pain.
The ease with which she and Tim had established their friendship was a delightful surprise. Of course she didn’t know what would happen when the lights came back on, but for tonight, she would just enjoy Tim’s company.
*****
They fell asleep earlier than either of them had anticipated. A day of painting had taken its toll. Kassie awoke at four; the room was almost dark except for the dulling blue light of the lantern. She sighed looking at the ceiling, suddenly realizing how warm she was next to Tim. Kassie looked down at her body seeing the floral print quilt that he’d wrapped her up in, snuggly around her body.
She looked over at him, even though he was snoring loudly into his pillow and his glasses were askew, he was handsome and she really wanted to stay curled up next to him and wake him with kisses. She quietly removed the blanket before she gave in to that impulse and slipped out of bed, quickly regretting that decision. The one thing she hated about hardwood floors was that in the winter they were freezing cold! Kassie spread the quilt over him and Griffin, who was snoring in tandem with his owner and crept across the room turning off the lantern as she tiptoed to the door. Tim snorted when one of the floor boards creaked under her weight.
“Hey.” Tim called out softly behind her. Kassie looked back at him and smiled. “Where are you going?” He asked.
“To my room.”
“But you were warm.” He patted where she was sleeping, beckoning her to come back and it was so tempting. The kissing idea sprang back into her head with full force and she tried to force it away.
“I can’t sleep here.” Kassie said, her voice sounding weak with temptation. She really wanted to sleep with him.
“Ok.” He sat up on his elbows, looking at her, dark hair falling over his brow. “You know, you were the first woman to sleep beside me that I wasn’t doing dirty things with.”He grinned at her devilishly, making her giggle.
“You’re crazy. Goodnight.”
“Good morning.” He said softly.
She walked out and closed the door gently. She exhaled hard and shook her head. It was starting to get a little hard to resist him.
Tim lay back looking at the ceiling. He wanted her, needed her. His desire was starting to make itself known in a way he couldn’t push aside anymore. Sure she was a little quirky and really hardnosed at times but now that he knew why, he could understand her behavior. They played off
each other in a way that he’d never experienced. The only one that came close to her was Nora. But once Kassie opened up to him, inviting him to stay when she really didn’t have to, he got to see a side of her that he doubted many had seen. She was sweet, warm, and so melancholy that he wanted to make her happy.
Tim pulled her blanket over him; it was still warm against his cheek.
“Aww fuck.” He growled. It smelled so good, like cupcakes and he felt himself stirring. Tim rolled his eyes, rolling on his side but didn’t push the warm sweet scented blanket off. He just drifted back to sleep.
*~*~*~*
Chapter 17
He awoke to the smell of bacon and sighed blissfully. Tim grabbed his watch off the side table and put on his glasses. It was ten and blindingly bright outside like the sun was bouncing off the white snow. He laid there a moment and stared at the ceiling. The blanket still smelled like her and it made him want her more.
Griffin barked loudly breaking his thoughts and Kassie screamed. Tim jumped out of bed running out of the room and racing downstairs to find Griffin chasing Kassie through the living and dining room. The dog tagged her with his paws then lowered at her feet. Kassie threw her head back and laughed before digging into her pocket and giving him a treat. She cooed at him scratching his head and Griff licked her face, his tail wagging so fast Tim thought it would snap off.
“I’m starting to think he’s cheating on me with you.” He said softly.
“Everything’s better with a little brown sugar.” Kassie said jokingly.
“Ain’t that right.” He murmured and walked into the kitchen.
Kassie kissed Griffin’s head, and followed Tim with Griff trotting behind her.
“So what are you going to do today?” He asked.
“I was supposed to go to Chicago today but that was canceled. So I’m running out to see if the bakery is open and then I’m coming back to shovel my yard out and get some work done.”
“I’ll get started for you.” He said pouring himself some coffee and started out of the kitchen then stopped and turned to her. “By the way, I really enjoyed sharing a bed with you last night.”
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