by E. L. James
That’s it.
I have to excuse us from the dinner table. “Shall I give you a tour of the grounds?” I ask Ana, and I don’t give her a chance to answer. Her eyes are luminous and serious as she places her hand in mine.
“Excuse me,” she says to Carrick, and I lead her out of the dining room.
In the kitchen Mia and Mom are clearing up. “I’m going to show Anastasia the backyard,” I announce to my mother, pretending to be cheerful.
Outside, my mood plunges south as my anger surfaces.
Panties. The photographer. Georgia.
We cross the terrace and climb the steps to the lawn. Ana pauses for a moment to admire the view.
Yeah, yeah. Seattle. Lights. Moon. Water.
I continue across the vast lawn toward my parents’ boathouse.
“Stop, please,” Ana pleads.
I do, and glare at her.
“My heels. I need to take my shoes off.”
“Don’t bother,” I growl, and lift her quickly over my shoulder. She squeals in surprise.
Hell. I smack her ass, hard. “Keep your voice down!” I snap, and stride across the lawn.
“Where are we going?” she wails as she bounces on my shoulder.
“Boathouse.”
“Why?”
“I need to be alone with you.”
“What for?”
“Because I’m going to spank and then fuck you.”
“Why?” she whines.
“You know why,” I snap.
“I thought you were an in-the-moment guy?”
“Anastasia, I’m in the moment, trust me.”
Throwing open the boathouse door, I step inside and switch on the light. As the fluorescents ping to life I head upstairs to the snug. There I flip another switch, and halogens illuminate the room.
I slide Ana down my body, glorying in the feel of her, and I set her on her feet. Her hair is dark and untamed, her eyes shining in the glow of the lights, and I know she’s not wearing her panties. I want her. Now.
“Please don’t hit me,” she whispers.
I don’t understand. I stare down at her blankly.
“I don’t want you to spank me, not here, not now. Please don’t.”
But…I gape at her, paralyzed. That’s why we’re here. She lifts her hand, and for a moment I don’t know what she’s going to do. The darkness stirs and twists around my throat, threatening to choke me if she touches me. But she places her fingers on my cheek and gently skims them down to my chin. The darkness melts into oblivion and I close my eyes, feeling her gentle fingertips on me. With her other hand she ruffles my hair, running her fingers through it.
“Ah,” I moan, and I don’t know if it’s from fear or longing. I’m breathless, standing on a precipice. When I open my eyes, she steps forward so her body is flush against mine. She fists both hands in my hair and tugs gently, raising her lips to mine. And I’m watching her do this, like a bystander, not present in my body. I’m a spectator. Our lips touch and I close my eyes as she forces her tongue into my mouth. And it’s the sound of my groan that breaks the spell she’s cast.
Ana.
I wrap my arms around her, kissing her back, releasing two hours of anxiety and tension into our kiss, my tongue possessing her, reconnecting with her. My hands grip her hair and I savor her taste, her tongue, her frame against mine as my body ignites like gasoline.
Fuck.
When I pull away we’re both dragging air into our lungs, her hands clutching my arms. I’m confused. I wanted to spank her. But she’s said no. Like she did at the dinner table. “What are you doing to me?” I ask.
“Kissing you.”
“You said no.”
“What?” She’s bewildered, or maybe she’s forgotten what happened.
“At the dinner table, with your legs.”
“But we were at your parents’ dining table.”
“No one’s ever said no to me before. And it’s so—hot.” And different. I slide my hand around her backside and jolt her against me, trying to regain control.
“You’re mad and turned on because I said no?” Her voice is throaty.
“I’m mad because you never mentioned Georgia to me. I’m mad because you went drinking with that guy who tried to seduce you when you were drunk, and who left you when you were ill with an almost complete stranger. What kind of friend does that? And I’m mad and aroused because you closed your legs on me.”
And you’re not wearing panties.
My fingers inch her dress up her legs. “I want you, and I want you now. And if you’re not going to let me spank you—which you deserve—I’m going to fuck you on the couch, this minute, quickly—for my pleasure, not yours.”
Holding her against me, I see that she’s panting as I slip my hand through her pubic hair and slide my middle finger inside her. I hear a low, sexy hum of appreciation in her throat. She’s so ready.
“This is mine. All mine. Do you understand?” I slip my finger in and out of her, holding her, as her lips part with shock and desire.
“Yes, yours,” she whispers.
Yes. Mine. And I won’t let you forget it, Ana.
I push her down onto the couch, unzip my fly, and lie down on top of her, pinning her beneath me. “Hands on your head,” I growl through clenched teeth. I kneel up and spread my knees, forcing her legs wider. From the inside pocket of my jacket I take out a condom, then discard my jacket on the floor. With my eyes on hers I open the packet and roll it down my eager dick. Ana places her hands on her head, watching me, her eyes glinting with need. As I crawl over her she’s squirming beneath me, her hips rising to tease and greet me.
“We don’t have long. This will be quick, and it’s for me, not you. Do you understand? Don’t come, or I will spank you,” I order, focusing on her dazed wide eyes, and with a swift, hard move I bury myself inside her. She calls out in a welcome and familiar cry of pleasure. I hold her down so she can’t move, and I start to fuck her, consuming her. But greedily she tilts her pelvis, meeting me thrust for thrust, spurring me on.
Oh, Ana. Yes, baby.
She gives it back to me, matching my fervent pace, over and over.
Oh, the feel of her.
And I’m lost. In her. In this. In her scent. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m mad or tense or…
Yessss. I come quickly, losing all reason as I explode inside her. I still. Filling her. Owning her. Reminding her that she’s mine.
Fuck.
That was…
I pull out of her and kneel up.
“Don’t touch yourself.” My voice is hoarse and breathless. “I want you frustrated. That’s what you do to me by not talking to me, by denying me what’s mine.”
She nods, sprawled out beneath me, her dress bunched up around her waist so I can see she’s wide and wet and wanting, and looking every bit the goddess that she is. I stand up, remove the wretched condom and knot it, then dress, picking up my jacket from the floor.
I take a deep breath. I’m calmer now. Much calmer.
Fuck, that was good.
“We’d better get back to the house.”
She sits up, staring at me with dark, inscrutable eyes.
Lord, she’s lovely.
“Here. You may put these on.” From my jacket pocket I fish out her lacy panties and pass them to her. I think she’s trying not to laugh.
Yeah, yeah. Game, set, and match to you, Miss Steele.
“Christian!” Mia yells from the floor below.
Shit.
“Just in time. Christ, she can be really irritating.” But that’s my little sister. Alarmed, I glance at Ana as she slips on her underwear. She scowls at me as she stands to straighten her dress and fixes her hair with her fingers.
“Up here, Mia,” I call. “We
ll, Miss Steele, I feel better for that—but I still want to spank you.”
“I don’t believe I deserve it, Mr. Grey, especially after tolerating your unprovoked attack.” She is crisp and formal.
“Unprovoked? You kissed me.”
“It was attack as the best form of defense.”
“Defense against what?”
“You and your twitchy palm.” She’s trying to suppress a smile.
Mia’s high heels rattle up the stairs.
“But it was tolerable?” I ask.
Ana smirks. “Barely.”
“Oh, there you are!” Mia exclaims, beaming at the two of us. Two minutes earlier and this could have been really awkward.
“I was showing Anastasia around.” I hold out my hand to Ana and she takes it. I want to kiss her knuckles, but I settle for a soft squeeze.
“Kate and Elliot are about to leave. Can you believe those two? They can’t keep their hands off each other.” Mia wrinkles her nose in distaste. “What have you been doing in here?”
“Showing Anastasia my rowing trophies.” With my free hand I wave toward the faux-precious-metal statuettes from my sculling days at Harvard arranged on shelves at the end of the room. “Let’s go say good-bye to Kate and Elliot.”
Mia turns to go and I let Ana precede me, but before we get to the stairs I smack her behind.
She smothers her yelp.
“I will do it again, Anastasia, and soon,” I whisper in her ear, and folding her into my arms, I kiss her hair.
We walk hand in hand across the lawn back to the house while Mia gabbles beside us. It’s a beautiful evening; it’s been a beautiful day. I’m glad Ana’s met my family.
Why haven’t I done this before?
Because I’ve never wanted to.
I squeeze Ana’s hand, and she gives me a shy look and an oh-so-sweet smile. In my other hand I hold her shoes, and at the stone steps I bend down to fasten each of her sandals in turn.
“There,” I announce when I’m done.
“Why, thank you, Mr. Grey,” she says.
“The pleasure is, and was, all mine.”
“I’m well aware of that, Sir,” she teases.
“Oh, you two are sooo sweet!” Mia coos as we head into the kitchen. Ana gives me a sideways look.
Back in the hallway, Kavanagh and Elliot are about to leave. Ana hugs Kate, but then pulls her aside to have a heated private conversation. What the hell is that about? Elliot takes Kavanagh’s arm and my parents wave them off as they climb into Elliot’s pickup.
“We should go, too—you have interviews tomorrow.” We have to drive her back to her new apartment and it’s nearly 11:00.
“We never thought he’d find anyone!” Mia gushes as she hugs Ana, hard.
Oh, for fuck’s sake…
“Take care of yourself, Ana dear,” Grace says, smiling warmly at my girl. I pull Ana to my side.
“Let’s not frighten her away or spoil her with too much affection.”
“Christian, stop teasing,” Grace chastises me in her usual manner.
“Mom.” I give her a quick peck. Thank you for inviting Ana. It’s been a revelation.
Ana says good-bye to my dad, and we head to the Audi, where Taylor waits, holding the rear passenger door open for her.
“Well, it seems my family likes you, too,” I observe when I’ve joined Ana in the back. Her eyes reflect the light from my parents’ porch, but I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Shadows shroud her face as Taylor drives smoothly out onto the road.
I catch her staring at me under the flicker of a street lamp. She’s anxious. Something’s wrong.
“What?” I ask.
She is quiet at first, and when she speaks there’s an emptiness in her voice. “I think that you felt trapped into bringing me to meet your parents. If Elliot hadn’t asked Kate, you’d never have asked me.”
Damn. She doesn’t understand. It was a first for me. I was nervous. Surely she knows by now that if I didn’t want her here, she wouldn’t be here. As we pass from light to shadow under the street lamps, she looks distant and upset.
Grey, this will not do.
“Anastasia, I’m delighted that you’ve met my parents. Why are you so filled with self-doubt? It never ceases to amaze me. You’re such a strong, self-contained young woman, but you have such negative thoughts about yourself. If I hadn’t wanted you to meet them, you wouldn’t be here. Is that how you were feeling the whole time you were there?” I shake my head, reach for her hand, and give it another reassuring squeeze.
She glances nervously at Taylor.
“Don’t worry about Taylor. Talk to me.”
“Yes. I thought that,” she says quietly. “And another thing, I only mentioned Georgia because Kate was talking about Barbados. I haven’t made up my mind.”
“Do you want to go and see your mother?”
“Yes.”
My anxiety surfaces. Does she want out? If she goes to Georgia, her mother might persuade her to find someone more…suitable, someone who, like her mother, believes in romance.
I have an idea. She’s met my folks; I’ve met Ray; perhaps I should meet her mother, the incurable romantic. Charm her.
“Can I come with you?” I ask, knowing that she’ll say no.
“Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she answers, surprised by my question.
“Why not?”
“I was hoping for a break from all this…intensity. To try to think things through.”
Shit. She does want to leave me.
“I’m too intense?”
She laughs. “That’s putting it mildly!”
Damn, I love making her laugh, even if it is at my expense; and I’m relieved she’s kept her sense of humor. Perhaps she doesn’t want to leave me after all. “Are you laughing at me, Miss Steele?” I tease.
“I wouldn’t dare, Mr. Grey.”
“I think you dare, and I think you do laugh at me, frequently.”
“You are quite funny.”
“Funny?”
“Oh yes.”
She’s making fun of me. It’s novel. “Funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?”
“Oh, a lot of one and some of the other.”
“Which way more?”
“I’ll leave you to figure that out.”
I sigh. “I’m not sure if I can figure anything out around you.” My tone is dry. “What do you need to think about in Georgia?”
“Us.”
Fuck. “You said you’d try,” I gently remind her.
“I know.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“Possibly.”
It’s worse than I feared. “Why?”
She stares at me in silence. “Why, Anastasia?” I persist. She shrugs, her mouth turned down, and I hope she’ll find her hand in mine reassuring. “Talk to me. I don’t want to lose you. This last week—”
Has been the best in my life.
“I still want more,” she breathes.
Oh no, not this again. What does she need me to say?
“I know. I’ll try.” I clasp her chin. “For you, Anastasia, I will try.”
I’ve just taken you to meet my parents, for heaven’s sake.
Suddenly she unbuckles her seatbelt, and before I know it she’s scrambled into my lap.
What the hell?
I sit immobile as her arms slip around my head, and her lips find mine, and coax a kiss from me before the darkness has a chance to stir. My hands slide up her back until I’m cradling her head and returning her passion, exploring her sweet, sweet mouth, trying to find answers…Her unexpected affection is utterly disarming. And new. And confusing. I thought she wanted to leave, and now she’s in my lap and turning me on, again.
I’ve never�
��never…Don’t go, Ana.
“Stay with me tonight. If you go away, I won’t see you all week. Please,” I whisper.
“Yes,” she murmurs. “And I’ll try, too. I’ll sign your contract.”
Oh, baby.
“Sign after Georgia. Think about it. Think about it hard.” I want her to do this willingly—I don’t want to force this on her. Well, part of me doesn’t. The rational part.
“I will,” she says, and nestles against me.
This woman has me tied up in knots.
Ironic, Grey.
And I want to laugh because I’m relieved and happy, but I hold her, breathing in her redolent and comforting scent.
“You really should wear your seatbelt,” I scold, but I don’t want her to move. She stays wrapped in my embrace, her body slowly relaxing against mine. The darkness inside me is quiet, contained, and I’m confused by my warring emotions. What do I want out of her? What do I need out of her?
This is not how we should be progressing, but I like her in my arms; I like cradling her like this. I kiss her hair, and lean back and enjoy the ride into Seattle.
Taylor stops outside the entrance to Escala. “We’re home,” I whisper to Ana. I’m reluctant to release her, but I lift her onto her seat. Taylor opens her door and she joins me at the entrance to the building.
A shiver runs through her.
“Why don’t you have a jacket?” I ask as I slip mine off and drape it over her shoulders.
“It’s in my new car,” she says, yawning.
“Tired, Miss Steele?”
“Yes, Mr. Grey. I’ve been prevailed upon in ways I never thought possible today.”
“Well, if you’re really unlucky, I may prevail upon you some more.” If I get lucky.
She leans against the wall of the elevator as we travel up to the penthouse. Under my jacket she looks slim and small and sexy. If she wasn’t wearing her underwear I could take her in here… I reach up and free her lip from her teeth. “One day I will fuck you in this elevator, Anastasia, but right now you’re tired—so I think we should stick to a bed.” I bend down and gently take her bottom lip in my teeth. Her breath catches and she returns the gesture with her teeth and my upper lip.
