Jase was getting way to close to making me feel the same. And it fucking hurt.
I stiffened as he kissed along my thigh, pressing my head back into the pillow as he glanced up at me. “Don’t. Please don’t.”
Regret filled his eyes and he nodded, shedding his shirt and undoing his jeans. He pushed my thighs apart, lowering himself between them.
His lips brushed my cheek. “I’m sorry I drugged you. I thought it would help.”
Before I could ask what he meant, he filled me with one smooth thrust. The shock of pain and pleasure gave me an escape from the moment of weakness. My body didn’t give a fuck where that exquisite stimulation was coming from. Emotions didn’t matter. All that mattered was movement, the weight of him holding me down, and the slick glide of his length driving in deeper, harder, over and over again.
He tipped his head to one side, baring his throat, and I accepted the invite. His skin was slick with sweat, salty as I opened my mouth against his neck, tonguing that thick, pulsing vein. As my fangs pierced his flesh, he let out a low growl, bringing his hands to my hips, fucking me harder as though to distract himself from the slice of pain.
Cyrus climbed onto the bed behind Jase, pressing his hand to the base of his spine to hold him still. He slammed into Jase so hard my fangs tore loose from Jase’s throat and I had to quickly cover the wound with my mouth to keep him from bleeding out. I closed the wound with my tongue, raking my fingers into his hair and bringing his lips to mine.
He was forced into me at a brutal pace, but my body welcomed the violent pleasure. This I could take, but the way he tensed made it clear he’d never been used so roughly.
I shouldn’t give a damn if he suffered, but I’d been in his place, with no control over what happened to me. Not that I had any control now, but at least I wasn’t completely in the dark. He was. And, if he was lucky, he’d continue to be once we were done with him.
Tightening my body around him drew a soft moan from his lips. His forehead met mine and he shifted his hips to put some pressure on my clit every time he filled me. My lips parted as agony and ecstasy flowed together like molten lava, spilling over me in an orgasm that had me screaming, tears blinding me as I rode it out to the end, bucking against him until he joined me with a strangled shout.
Slamming into him one last time, Cyrus released a breathless laugh, dragging Jase up with one arm barred across his chest, pulling him off me as he kissed the other man. “I enjoyed you very much. Are you certain you don’t want to keep him, Lydia? Say the word and he’s yours. Pets should have their own toys, don’t you think?”
Careful to keep my expression neutral, I slid off the bed, grabbing my clothes. My legs were shaky, and every inch of me was sore, but I’d gotten in the habit of recovering quickly.
And, right now, Jase’s life depended on it.
“I already have a toy.” I lifted my shoulders, glancing over at Jase as Cyrus let him fall to the bed. “Do you really think Rosali will let me keep another?”
Lips thinning, Cyrus nodded slowly. “That’s a very good point. Besides, you’re not going anywhere, are you, my boy?”
I bite hard into my cheek to keep from wincing at the casual endearment. I might have bought Jase some time, but not much.
Jase pulled up his jeans, lowering his gaze, showing the first hint of fear. “No. I’ll be here.”
“Excellent.” Cyrus adjusted his own clothes, smoothing his hair back, then holding his hand out to me, smiling when I stepped up to his side and let him lace his fingers with mine. “A shame we have to leave so soon, but we’ll see you again soon, Jase.”
Swallowing hard, Jase looked up, forcing a smile. “I can’t wait.”
Good answer. I followed Cyrus, grabbing my jacket before stepping outside, shrugging it on as we headed down the street, only letting myself relax when we’d gotten a few blocks away from Jase’s apartment.
I hoped Jase would pack up all his shit in the morning and get the fuck out of dodge. For some reason, I couldn’t believe he’d ever done this before. He’d drugged me, and might have drugged others, but I doubted it. Somehow, he’d known I wasn’t here by choice. He’d done the only thing he could to help.
I might be fooling myself. Maybe I was tired of seeing monsters everywhere I looked. Either way, wanting him dead had quickly lost its appeal.
A shame, because for the first time in so long, I’d felt good. Like I had some power.
Nothing but another illusion. That power would never be mine unless I let myself become one of the monsters. That I hadn’t meant I wasn’t completely lost.
But I was getting there.
Chapter Ten
My cell. A place where I couldn’t pretend I was free, or that I ever would be again. A place I should hate with every fiber of my being.
But returning was a relief. A strange sense of calm came over me as I turned to face Cyrus before crossing the threshold. I held still as he brushed my cheek with his fingers.
“You’ve gotten better at hiding your thoughts from me, pet.” He tilted his head slightly, as though curious, rather than angry. “But you aren’t pulling away from me. You seem…relaxed.”
I considered my answer carefully. “I…I wasn’t expecting to ever be let out of my cage. To see the sky, to taste my favorite foods, to see people who aren’t…aren’t part of this.”
“You can have it all, Lydia.” He brought his lips to mine in an undemanding kiss that was more unnerving than anything he’d done so far. “Now you’ve seen how much better things can be when you don’t fight me.”
Brow raised, I grinned at him. “You’d get bored of me if I never fought back.”
He smirked and inclined his head. “This is true.”
“I know who I belong to.” I flicked the collar of his fancy shirt, licking my bottom lip. “Isn’t that what you want?”
Framing my jaw with his hand, Cyrus leaned in close. “Careful, pet. If you make this too easy, I might believe you’re toying with me. You are mine. But I don’t think you know that yet.”
My eyes narrowed. “And here I was, thinking we were playing nice.”
“We are.” He patted my cheek, stepping back and reaching for the door. “But it would be cruel of me to let you think you have me fooled. You’re not tame. Yet. But you will be.”
The door shut and the lock clicked. I pressed my eyes closed, folding my arms over my breasts, inhaling roughly as my stomach turned. Cyrus hadn’t been satisfied by a single thing I said, those were just words. My reaction to him had changed. My skin didn’t crawl when he touched me and he could tell.
Like an abused dog returned to their owner, soaking in any kindness because the only alternative was suffering even more. If I had a choice, I would kill Cyrus. Without hesitation.
But I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t escape, couldn’t kill him, couldn’t do anything without putting Alrik at risk. Which meant this was my life. This and nothing else, no matter how desperately I clung to the hope that there’d be some kind of miracle and I’d find a way out.
“Come here.”
I jumped at the clink of chains, spinning around and staring at Elah as he sat up on the bed. I’d completely forgotten he was here. How fucked up was that? The only person who still gave a damn about me and he’d slipped my mind.
His lips curved and he reached out his free arm, wrapping it around me when I threw myself against him.
“Shh.” He stroked my back, kissing my hair when I choked out a sob. “Don’t do that, Lydia. Don’t let this cage become all you have left. Don’t let him become your savior.”
“I’m trying not to.” I pressed my face to his bare chest, hating that I couldn’t hear his heart beat. His skin was so cold. “But I should have asked him to give you more blood. Fuck, what’s wrong with me?”
“You’re overwhelmed and scared and you should be.” Elah laid back on the bed, bringing me with him. He stared up at the ceiling as he idly ran his fingers through my hair. “I can
’t protect you from him. I can’t even prepare you for what he’ll do next, because I have no fucking clue. Just…just stay alive. Don’t let him break you.”
I shook my head, turning to my side, using his shoulder as a pillow as I roughly dried my stupid tears with my fists. “He’s not trying to, which is freaking me out. Being tortured was easier. I’m good with pain.”
“Torturing you won’t break you. He knows that.”
“So he’s gonna try candlelit dinners and walks in the park?” I snickered, glancing up at him, my brow furrowing when he frowned at me. “What?”
He inhaled slowly, then gave my hair a little tug. “Think, Lydia. Where did he bring you?”
“My favorite restaurant. One I used to go to with…” I ground my teeth, refusing to think about him again. “It was nice. He was nice. Still the psycho we all know and love. He wasn’t even putting on an act. It was…”
“Normal.” Elah’s brow arched at my nod. “If that didn’t scare you a little, I’d be worried.”
“What does it matter? Do I hate that this is my life now? Of course! But hating it won’t change anything.”
“The Lydia I once knew would consider this you breaking.” Elah sighed, closing his eyes as though he was worn out. “You’ve been here longer than I have, but I’m already starting to forget what it was like to be anywhere else. This weak thing I’ve become disgusts me, but I was more once. And so were you.”
I pushed up on my elbow, staring down at him. Elah couldn’t talk like this. He couldn’t forget.
But seeing him, laying on the dirty mattress, a grey cast to his pale skin, deep lines around his eyes and his lips, how could I blame him while I was sitting here, healthy and whole, bitching about how hard things were? I looked down at his hand, trapped in that ugly metal glove, the veins in his wrist around it like lines of black ink drawn under his flesh. He hadn’t healed from anything done to him. His suffering made everything I complained about seem pathetic.
Cupping his cheek in my hand, I met his dark grey eyes. “You remember, Elah. One of us has to.”
He huffed out a laugh. “You know, my life was rather dull before I met you. Hunting things, killing them…it gets old. But I was like a machine, built for one task. My training didn’t allow for much fun.”
“Is that why you never stuck around long?” My eyes drifted shut as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Being around me was too much fun?”
“Mmm, that and I was determined not to fall in love with you.” He traced his finger along my jaw. “I failed.”
My throat tightened. “I loved you too, but I was so confused because Daederich was everything to me. How could I be lucky enough to have both of you? But I don’t think he minded as much as he pretended to.” I opened my eyes, refusing to let myself get so lost in the memories that I forgot what I knew about him now. “I guess how he feels isn’t important anymore.”
Elah shook his head. “Let’s not go there.”
“Agreed.”
“Good. Because I was thinking about the last time we were alone. You’d bought all kinds of treats for this kid we saved. Daederich was bringing the boy back to his family, and you had this big bowl of ice cream and fruit and sprinkles, covered in chocolate sauce. You were staring at it, like you knew you couldn’t eat it all, but if you took one bite you might not be able to resist.” He licked his lips, as though remembering the treat himself. “I wanted to throw it out, but you looked so cute, I couldn’t lecture you like I normally would.”
I pictured his face, all stern hunter, softening as he’d come up beside me, staring at the sundae like it was a complicated puzzle he’d help me solve. “You offered to let me have one bite, then take it away so I wouldn’t be tempted to have another.”
He grinned. “And you told me only if I had one too.”
“You’d never had ice cream. I still can’t believe it.” I’d laughed so hard when he’d shoved the first bite in his mouth, like he planned to get it over with quickly. His eyes went wide and he licked the spoon, glaring at me when I’d pulled the bowl away. “Three bites later and I had to dump the rest. You looked ready to fight me for it.”
“I was, but then you kissed me and I could taste the chocolate on your lips. The strawberries on your tongue. You were fucking delicious.” He raked his fingers into my hair, rising up to claim my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he sat up, knowing we couldn’t have more than this, but needing to lose myself in the moment.
This was the Elah I remembered. The strong hunter who’d experienced so much for the first time with me, showing me I could be strong and still full of wonder and excitement. He was sexy and sarcastic, playful at the strangest times, deadly and powerful, all the things I’d needed him to be. He was still that man. I still felt safe in his arms.
He ended the kiss too soon, holding me away from him with a firm grip on my shoulders, but I didn’t object. This wasn’t the ice cream. Indulging wouldn’t make us a little sick. Cyrus would kill Elah without a second thought.
If Elah stopped caring about the risk, I’d be terrified. And I couldn’t be the strong one this time.
He was right. Cyrus had managed to break me a little.
But Elah was here to put me back together. Much like Daederich once had. Only, he’d done it with a story, because I’d had no memories to look back on.
“Damn it!” I pushed away from Elah, shaking my head. “No matter how much I try, I can’t get him out of my head. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Elah folded his arms behind his head and let his eyes drift shut. “But keep trying to convince yourself Daederich is the enemy. Let me know how that works for you.”
It doesn’t! But letting Daederich—fuck, I couldn’t even force myself to keep calling him Joe—hold his place in my heart was more dangerous than being relaxed around Cyrus. Daederich could do so much damage without even trying.
I slammed my fist into my thigh. “Why aren’t you convinced? What more does he have to do to you?”
“Besides whatever it takes to keep us both alive?” Elah shrugged, not opening his eyes as I continued to glare at him. He let out a dry laugh. “Guess he could get us out of here. Then I’d know for sure he’s the big bad.”
“Oh fuck you. The only one he’s going to save is himself.”
“Uh huh.”
Damn him, he had no intention of seeing Daederich for who he really was. I wished I could share his blind faith, but how when Daederich always held some power, even in chains. Every time I closed my eyes I saw him using Elah, like he’d used me. While Elah and I had been passed around like broken toys, he’d remained untouched. How did that happen, every goddamn time, if Cyrus didn’t know Daederich would cooperate, whatever the cost?
Removing my jacket, I huffed and plunked down on the bed next to Elah. He scooted over as much as he could with his metal glove still attached to a chain on the wall and patted the bed beside him. I curled up and let him pull me close, even though I was still mad at him.
My anger didn’t last long. His hold on me tightened as the door opened. Heavy footsteps approached the bed.
“No!” Elah tried to push me behind him, but strong hands wrapped around my arms before I could even turn my head, dragging me off the bed. “Leave her alone, Rosali. You want to fucking play with someone? I’m right here, bitch.”
The sweetness of Rosali’s laugh filled the room, shivering down my spine like splintered nails on chalkboard. “And you’ll still be here when I get back. You didn’t expect me to let her enjoy the whole night, did you?”
I shook my hair from my face, twisting my arms in the steel grip of her guard. He wrenched my arms back further and I hissed at the sharp pain in my shoulders. “You think I enjoyed myself? With Cyrus? Are you fucking crazy?”
Her palm connected with my cheek and my head snapped back. Blood filled my mouth and I choked it back as she took hold of my chin. “Careful, Lydia. Cyrus won’t let me kill you,
but there’s not much he can do if it’s an accident, right?”
“If you’re going to kill me, get it over with.”
“Really?” She cocked her head, her cute face pink with excitement. “Oh, I really want to! Maybe he’ll give me the little boy, since he won’t need him anymore. He’s leaving him alone for you, I know he is. If I could find him, he wouldn’t be spoiling any of our fun anymore, but Cyrus won’t tell me.” She pouted, glancing up at her guard. “Isn’t he mean?”
The guard cleared his throat. “The last man who answered that question is dead.”
“Well yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t answer. I like you.” Rosali made a dismissive motion with her hand. “Whatever. Now I’m bored. Cyrus gave Lydia his present. Now let’s show her mine.”
Elah growled and lunged at her, but the second guard slammed him into the wall, holding him there as the first guard forced me into the hall, Rosali following close behind. They brought me to a room only a few doors away and my blood went cold. There was only one thing in the room.
“Please… Rosali, please…” I choked back the words, shaking my head, not sure if begging would do any good. If she saw me panic, she’d enjoy this even more. But I couldn’t help digging the heels of my boots into the cement floor as the guard bodily forced me into the room. “Don’t do this. Don’t. Get Cyrus, he won’t let you—”
“Shh… Cyrus isn’t here, silly.” Rosali stepped in front of me, holding up her hand for her guard to wait. “You’re scared. Fuck, you’re pretty when you’re scared. You weren’t scared when you came after me. Just a stupid little girl with a gun, thinking she was so tough.”
“I’m sorry.” Tears blinded me. I twisted my body, crying out as my shoulder popped. The guard’s hold didn’t lessen. I was trapped. “I don’t remember, Rosali. I’m not that girl anymore.”
Rosali smoothed my hair away from my face. “I know. But that’s good. That girl wouldn’t have survived what I’m about to do to you.”
The End (Deadly Captive Book 3) Page 11
