“Let’s get one thing clear,” he sneers. “Charlie and I are about to become real close. So my suggestion to you is to find a new circle of friends. Or one of these days someone might see that picture of yours.”
“I was seventeen, and you drugged me,” I hiss.
He rocks back on his heels, still smiling his smug-ass grin. “Really? An NFL quarterback with more pussy than I can handle is drugging some teenage cunt? I don’t think anyone is going to believe that. Isn’t that why you didn’t go to the police? Because you knew no one would buy your story?” He leans so close I can smell the onions and beef on his breath. I turn my face to the side. “Rethink your options. You leave or I humiliate you and take away your kid. Leave or your friend Nick is going to have a real tough year. I’m his coach. He’s barely out of his rookie year. The franchise could easily look for a new quarterback if he doesn’t pan out.”
He reaches out, and I flinch. He tweaks me on the nose. “It’s all in your trashy hands, Elaina. What are you going to do?”
He tucks his hands in his pockets and walks off whistling. It takes three tries before I can get my door open, my hands are shaking so bad.
Chapter Fifteen
Lainey
I somehow manage to get home without an accident. Cass senses something went wrong and sits quietly in the back seat which only makes me feel worse. I hurriedly park and lift her into my arms. I hug her to me even though she’s getting too big for me to carry. Chip’s threats were all about me, but the attack felt directed at Cass, as if her very being offends him.
“Mommy, your phone is talking to you.” My daughter pokes me as I carry her into the apartment.
“I know it is, baby.” The darn thing has been going off since I pulled out of the parking lot at Nick and Charlie’s place.
“Is it Unca Nick?”
Lord love a duck. My girl has already fallen for Nick Jackson. What a disaster. “It’s probably Charlie.”
“I like her.”
“She likes you.” Everyone does, but the dirty rotten snake.
“That other man is a bad man. We should stay away. We won’t walk with strangers. We won’t talk with strangers. We stay away from strangers. Stranger danger!” Cass warbles.
Out of the mouth of babes, I think, and set her down on the carpet. “Can you color a bit while I check my messages?”
“Mhmm,” my sweet girl hums. She digs out her coloring supplies and spreads out on the coffee table. The book falls open to the page that she and Nick were working on. I’ll give him credit. He’s far more patient with her than I ever imagined he could be. At one time, I might’ve allowed myself to spin a few fantasies about a life as Mrs. Nick Jackson. If I hadn’t met Chip. that is.
I pull out my phone and scan the messages. I read Charlie’s first.
Charlie: I’m so sorry for tonight! I didn’t know he was coming. Call me.
Charlie: I’m sorry!
Charlie: I hope everything is okay.
Charlie: We love you.
I send off a quick reply. We’re okay. It’s no big deal.
Which is a lie. It’s a very big deal. I want to run away right now, although I’m not sure where I’d go. Momma’s still up to her neck caring for grandma, and even if she wasn’t, I can’t expose Cass to such an unwelcoming environment. I suppose I could go back to San Antonio. The thought makes me sick. We were building such a good life here. I earned more working for Charlie than I’d ever imagined possible, plus, the work felt good—like I was doing something worthwhile, something Cass would be proud of when she got older.
But I can’t stay. Not with Chip breathing down my shoulder. I was so naïve before, thinking Chip wouldn’t come back to Dallas because he’d be too embarrassed after being traded away. Of course, he’d come back. He was a Texas native. They always come home.
My phone buzzes in my hands again. I flick the screen open and see the unread text from Nick. I don’t want to read it. Nick’s part of this unrealistic fantasy I concocted for myself. For a moment there, I allowed myself to conjure up a whole future where we’d go to the park every week. I’d sit in the stands wearing his uniform number. Cass would grow up with a daddy who’d color with her and wear her homemade daisy crowns.
Only a dumb girl would dream those dreams. I shut those out, leave the message unread, and go to my daughter. Cass beams at me when I settle beside her.
“Here you go, Mommy. You can color this page. Isn’t it pretty? Unca Nick did this.”
“It’s real nice, honey. You remember when Mommy worked down by the river? You liked it there.”
“Uh huh.”
“Mrs. Garrison babysat you at night. She had a lot of fun games, didn’t she?”
Cass wrinkles her nose. “She smelled bad. I like the way Unca Nick smells.”
Who doesn’t like how he smells? “Maybe I’ll buy Mrs. Garrison a bottle of Nick’s cologne.”
“I like Unca Nick’s hugs better. Plus, he’ll take me to the playground. Mrs. Garrison’s too old for that. She says her joints are shot.”
“Honey, we might have to give up Unca Nick and go see Mrs. Garrison again.”
Case sets down her crayon and glares at me. “Mommy. I’ve got to feed the fish. If I don’t go over and feed them, they’ll die. Don’t you know anything?”
“Nick can feed his own fish.”
“They’re not his fish. They’re mine. He gave them to me. He said I could name them. I have to feed them!” Cass’s voice is getting dangerously high.
“I swear to you that Nick will feed the fish and they will not die.”
“You don’t know that.” Cass jumps up. “You’re going to kill my fish. Don’t kill my fish, Mommy. Promise me you won’t kill my fish!”
“Baby, no one’s killing your fish. I’m just saying—”
“You said I didn’t do anything bad! You said I didn’t ‘barass you!” she wails.
“You didn’t, honey. You didn’t do anything bad or wrong. You were perfect.” I reach out and try to wipe her tears away, but she jerks out of my grip and runs off into her bedroom.
This is going about as bad as I expected. I drag a hand over my face. Maybe if I return Chip’s money, he’ll back off. I’ve spent some of it, but most of it is still in a savings account. How do I go about contacting him, though? I deleted his contact information two years ago. I could call his mom, which would be super awkward, but even worse would be hanging around the Mustang facility like a jockey junkie. I’ll have to wait until Chip comes into Stacks again and hope he doesn’t follow through on his threats when he sees me.
Cass’s sobs seep through the walls, sending my anxiety spiraling. With a heavy sigh, I lever myself off the floor and head toward her room. I don’t know what I can say to her. I’d give a lot to go to my room and cry myself to sleep, too.
A knock at the door halts my steps. Is it Chip? Did he follow me home? I fumble for my purse. I can write him a check right now. I can solve this problem. Cass will stop crying. I’ll stop being afraid. I hurry to the door and wrench it open. “Chip, I—”
“Hi, Lainey.” Charlie’s bright face appears on the other side.
“Oh.” Relief and disappointment wash over me in a rush, leaving me weak. I lean against the door for support. “Hey, Charlotte.”
“You were expecting Chip Peters?” She’s both surprised and suspicious.
I’m not sure if it’s my fear or my loneliness that pushes the unwise words out, but when I open my mouth to deny it, a confession tumbles forth. “He’s Cass’s father but he hates us. He paid me money to leave Dallas before and told me not to come back, but here I am.”
Charlie’s jaw drops.
Immediately, the consequences of my words seize me. Flustered, I try to shut the door. “I’m sorry. I’m tired and staying dumb things. Forget I said anything. I’ve got it all under control.”
“I can hear Cass crying from the stairs,” my friend points out.
“She’s five. She’s mad if
she doesn’t get to wear her sandals to school instead of tennis shoes,” I snap.
“Who wouldn’t be mad about that? I like sandals myself.” Charlie pushes her way inside. “Hey, Cassidy. Charlie’s here.”
My daughter motors out of her room and throws her tearful self into Charlie’s arms. “Charlie! Charlie! We’re ’bandoning you! My fish are going to die! Don’t let my fishies die!”
“We’re not abandoning anyone. We’re just…” I flounder for the right words, but I don’t know what those are. I feel like I’m breaking every promise I ever made to my girl and that makes me feel about two inches high.
Charlie rubs my daughter’s shoulders. “The fish are going to be alright. Nick’s a big boy. He can take care of them.”
“But they’re my fishies!” Cass stomps her foot. “I’m supposed to feed them.”
Charlie throws me an apologetic look. “Don’t worry. I’ll get Nick to fix this.”
“No. Cass is my girl.” I pull up my metaphorical panties and go to my daughter. It takes some effort to peel her away from Charlotte’s arms. “Honey, listen. You know how Mama goes to work at the restaurant and you go to work at school? And how at school, you have chores that you have to do because you’re an important part of your classroom?”
She cries but nods anyway.
“Nick has his own responsibilities, and feeding those fish is one of those. That’s part of his job, and just like you can’t ask anyone else to clean the erasers, he can’t really have you feed the fish.” I wipe her tears. Her sobs have quieted down to sniffles.
“B-b-but he wants my help.”
I throw her a bone. “You can help by reminding him to feed the fish.”
“Really?” She perks up immediately at this.
I shouldn’t allow this. I need to cut off all contact with Nick or else the yearning I have for him will grow so big I won’t be able to keep it in a box anymore. It’s such a bad idea, but when I see the smile that spreads across my daughter’s face as she absorbs this idea, I find myself nodding. “Yes. You can use my phone and text him once a day when the fish need to be fed.”
She jumps out of my arms and claps her hands together. “Yay! Yay! Yay!”
“Text me too,” Charlie demands.
“I will! I’ll text you, too, Charlie!” My daughter throws her tiny arms around Charlie’s neck. The two cling to each other until I pry them apart.
“Cass, Mama and Charlie need to talk for a minute. Why don’t you go watch Backyardigans?”
“Okay!” The girl happily skips away, forgetting all about the trauma of the fish and being yelled at by Chip.
Once I hear the television turn on, I turn to Charlie. “Please forget anything I said at the door.”
“I can’t.” Charlotte comes over to sit next to me on the floor. “I can’t because I need you here. Nick needs you. I don’t know what Chip said and you don’t need to tell me, but I can help you. We—Nick and I—can help you. I wasn’t lying when I said I came from money.”
I stare down at my lap where her hands cover mine. On three of her fingers, Charlie’s wearing delicate diamond-encrusted rings. Her nails are perfectly shaped and polished. Her hands are soft, without callouses. Two weeks ago, she took me to get my first manicure. I don’t doubt that she has money, but Chip played professional football for eight years. He wrote out a check for a hundred grand like he was paying a utility bill. Besides, I don’t want to tell Charlie my past. It’s too dark and too shameful.
“It’s not all about the money.” It’s a matter of what kind of public humiliation do I want to go through. What do I want Cass to know when she grows up? “Chip…is embarrassed by me and by Cassidy. We’re his mistakes. I guess when he sees us, it reminds him that he grew up in a small town, from a family that wasn’t really well off.”
“Well, fuck him,” Charlie fumes.
“That was my mistake in the first place.”
Charlie blinks in surprise and then bursts out laughing. I join in because, hell, I’m tired of being sad and scared. “I won’t run off—at least not without saying something to you first. If there’s something you can do to help, I’ll ask, but I think this is something I need to solve by myself.”
She looks like she wants to protest, but I’ve made up my mind. I need to confront Chip by myself and find out exactly what he wants. If it’s money, maybe I do swallow my pride and go to Charlotte. If it’s something else, then there’s no need to involve any of my friends.
“I have my own problems,” Charlie confesses. “Nate is back stateside. I have to fly to San Diego and I’m afraid I’m going to run into him. At least don’t leave before I get back. Okay? I’ll need you when I get back.”
“Nick told me at the park. I was going to tell you but there was the thing with Chip and I forgot. Sorry about that.”
Charlie makes a face. “It’s always bros before hoes.”
I snicker. “Since when are you a ho?”
“Classy broad doesn’t rhyme with anything decent.”
“How about bros before foes?”
“Are we at war? I suppose we are,” she answers her own question. “The Jackson boys are over here.” She draws a line in the carpet. “And we should be over here.” She points to a spot on the other side of the line.
“This is what I’ve been saying all along but you kept throwing me at Nick!” I exclaim.
Charlie gives me a pouty look that makes me think of Cassidy. “Because I love you and I love him and I think you’d be adorable together but you two won’t cooperate.”
Instead of a witty retort, an admission slips out before I can stop it. “I wish I could.”
Charlie grabs my hand. “Me, too, sister. Me, too.”
We sit there in silence as Cass’ cartoon plays in the background. Charlie and I are two totally different people. She’s rich. I’m poor. She’s a woman with a caring family. I’m a single mom without much of a support network. Yet, we’re both afraid—of taking chances, falling in love.
I squeeze her hand in return. I suppose one of us needs to set an example for the other and take a risk.
Chapter Sixteen
Nick
“Where is she?” my brother demands.
“I had a great day, thanks for asking.” I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear. One of these days I need to figure out how a Bluetooth headset works, but I guess that’s not today. I pop open the tiny trunk to my Porsche and toss my gym bag inside. It bounces against the plastic aquarium I bought for Cassidy. Since she’s not allowed to come over and feed my fish every day—which is bullshit—we’ve agreed that she would feed her plastic fish at the same time I fed my real ones. That way we’d feel like we were taking care of my fish together.
“I’m desperate,” my brother says. “I was going to come to Texas, but apparently, she’s here in San Diego, but she’s hiding.”
“I don’t know where she is.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and think back to our conversation this morning. She’d told me she had to go on a business trip and she’d be back in a few days, but she did not mention where she was going.
“How can you not know where she is?” My brother rages.
“Because she’s an adult woman and I don’t keep track of her.” Whereas, I generally know where Lainey is, at all times. Right now, she should be at Stacks. I climb into the Porsche and zip out of the player lot over to the bar. Sure enough, her dull gray Honda is sitting in the back.
“Who would know?”
My gaze drifts back to the Honda. “Lainey.” She and Charlotte are attached at the hip.
“Then get the information from her,” my brother orders. “She probably has the address on her phone. Take the device and send me the details.”
“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” I roll my eyes even if Nate can’t see me.
“Please. I need your help.”
I slow to a halt and pull the expensive machinery to the curb. Nate’s almost never asked me for help. He loathes a
dmitting he needs anyone. “Are you serious about making things right with Charlotte?”
“I told you I was.”
“Yeah, but you’ve sat on your dick for nearly ten years so forgive me if I wasn’t confident before.”
A short silence falls as Nate takes in my terse words. “I really am sorry for hurting everyone,” he says quietly.
A knot in my chest that I hadn’t realized existed unfurls. It occurs to me that I’d held a low level grudge against my brother for a long time because every day he was gone, Charlotte’s hurts deepened. She’s my sister in every way but blood and it pained me to see her suffer, particularly after all she’d gone through as a teen. Plus, if she and Nate couldn’t make it, what did it mean for the rest of us fools? That said, who am I to stand in the way of true love? “Fine, but give me a day.”
“Thanks, brother. Love you.” He hangs up. He had a mission and now that it’s successful, he’s moving on to the next step in his plan.
I’d laugh but maybe that’s what I need to do with Lainey. Create a game plan and then execute it, because currently I’m getting nothing but a cold shoulder. As I contemplate this, Lainey’s Honda speeds by me. It must be a sign. I put the sports car in gear and gun the engine, following her home.
“Nick, what are you doing?” she asks when she sees me step out of my car.
Fuck, she’s beautiful. Every time I see her in the flesh, I’m struck anew at how glorious she is even in her Stacks’ uniform of black slacks and black silk shirt. I force my feet to move to the trunk. I pop it open and grab the bag, glad to have something in my hands to prevent me from attacking her.
“I brought a fish present for Cass.”
Her eyes narrow suspiciously. “I’m not telling you where Charlie is.”
Damn. Busted. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I bought this plastic aquarium for Cass. She’s expecting it.”
“You’re a menace.”
“A menace bearing gifts.”
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