"Tell me more about his cock." I laugh. Of course that's the one body part she wants to hear about.
"It's big. Not overly so but more than the average Joe. It's not super long but bigger in width. It hits just the right spots without even trying."
"How is he in bed?" God if someone heard our conversation they'd probably wonder why the fuck we are talking about it in public. I guess maybe we should have gotten our food to go instead of eating here at the Italian restaurant.
"Nothing compares. It's so out of this world. He likes it rough, soft, deep, slow, fast. He's amazing at it all. I think maybe he wrote the book on sex because he is that good."
"Dreamy." Deb sighs while looking off into dreamland. I throw a piece of my bread at her to stop her fantasizing about Brad in front of me.
"Alright, alright. I'll stop dreaming of Brad's ass. Just so you know you are one lucky bitch."
"I know." I smile. However, the more I think about it the more I realize just how true those words are. Now I just need to pray my luck doesn't run out.
...And I'll leave my
heart wide open
I will love
and have no fear...
-Brad Paisley, When I get where I'm going
Chapter 8
"Everything will be fine. I promise you my parents will be happy with the news." I wring my hands in my lap as we drive over to Brad's parent's house. I haven't seen them since before Brad came waltzing into my house two weeks ago. I have been too scared about what they would say and think of me going from being engaged to Sean to dating Brad. Would they hate me? Would they think I am tarnishing their son's memory by being with his brother so soon after his death? I couldn't bear to lose them over this but I know it is a possibility.
"How do you know? What if they hate me? Maybe they will think we jumped into this too soon. They will probably think I never loved Sean. Oh, my god! What if this causes a rift between you and them? Oh, I don't want to be the reason for you guys fighting. Maybe we should just turn back around. We don't have to tell them right now. We can wait like, I don't know, five years from now to say something." Brad smiles and I my heart stops before starting again. His smile is a beautiful sight. I love seeing him happy like this.
"So you are planning to be with me for at least the next five years?" Oh, this man is so frustrating. Of course, that would be the words he latches onto out of all my worries.
"Shut up. I just mean that this can wait. It doesn't have to be today that we tell them."
"You want to be with me forever. I knew it." He laughs and I know I've lost him. I huff in my seat as I cross my arms and look out the passenger window.
"I'm regretting my decision to be with you right now." I mumble jokingly.
"Awe, baby. You know you love me. I'm just glad you finally realized I am not going anywhere."
"Hey. I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to." Brad reaches across to grab hold of my hand and slides his fingers between mine before pulling them over to press a kiss to the top of it. "Everything will be fine. You'll see." I wish I had his confidence but I'm trembling on the inside. I hope he is right and that I am just worrying over nothing.
By the time we reach his parents house, my nerves have settled some and I wait for the moment that will either shatter my relationship with his parents or bring us closer.
The porch lights are already on as the sun is only moments away from setting and leaving us in the darkness of night. The orange and pink streaking across the sky is so gorgeous it has me wishing I had a camera to capture its beauty and save it forever.
"I am so glad you guys could make it tonight. It has been too long since we have all sat together for dinner as a family. Please, come in, come in. I have missed you guys so much." Cathy grabs me in a tight embrace and tears threaten to spill over. She has been an amazing mother figure and I hope that after our news she will still want me in their life. It would crush me if she couldn't accept Brad and I as a couple.
"Dinner is almost ready. Be a dear and set the table." She motions to Brad and he smirks at me as he goes about setting the table while his mother takes me to the sitting room.
"How have you been, Lainey? I'm sure things have been tough but Brad has told me that you two have been spending a lot of time together. I am so glad that you two have each other."
"I've been good. Keeping busy just trying to work through everything day by day." She nods and I know she does the same. I couldn't imagine losing a child and I feel sorry that they have had to go through such tragedy. No parent should ever have to bury a child.
"Yes, I know how that is. We have been doing the same here." I so badly want to give her comfort but I too, am still mourning Sean.
Is this the moment I should let her know of my relationship with Brad? I feel like I should fill the brief silence between us as we both think back to the reason why we have to push through each day.
"Where is dad?" I ask. Ever since they took me in when my grandmother died, I had started calling them mom and dad. They practically are my parents after caring for me as their own, it just felt natural.
"Oh, he is in the garage. Probably working on that damn motorcycle of his. One day he is going to get himself killed on that thing." Cathy shakes her head but I know she loves it just as much as Robert. They used to take rides along the coast every weekend just to spend time together. She said it was relaxing and freeing with the wind blowing in her hair and smelling the salty ocean breeze.
Since Sean died, she hasn't been on the bike since. Something about not wanting to have something happen and she miss out on our lives. I think she is just worried that something will take her away from Brad and she wont be able to see him find a girl to marry and have grandbabies. Losing Sean has somehow scared her when it comes to living life to the fullest. She doesn't want to do anything that could harm her. As far as I know of, she hasn't even left the house. She just stays home cleaning and cooking. The only exception is when she has to shop for food.
Robert has always loved his bike and every weekend before he rides, he makes sure to check everything on it to be sure nothing goes wrong. I wonder how he is taking to Cathy's refusal to ride with him along the coast.
"Help me get dinner on the table?" Cathy asks distractedly. I look over to see Brad leaning against the wall watching the exchange with a somber face. I know he is worried for his mom after what he just over heard.
"Sure." I answer back. I am even more nervous now knowing that she isn't doing as well as I originally thought with the death of Sean.
Cathy rubs Brad's arm as she walks past him with a small, sad smile and I go to follow suit but he grabs my wrist stopping me from going further.
"Lainey, she needs this news now more than ever. She also needs us to be here for her helping her through this. I didn't realize just how bad things had gotten. Dad didn't say anything to me about it. Just that mom prefers to stay at home."
"Yeah, he told me the same thing. After today, we need to try to get her out more. It's not healthy for her to wallow like this."
"Go help her get out dinner and I'll go get my dad." I nod as he pulls me into a tight embrace kissing the top of my head. I close my eyes, needing the comfort he can give me. I hope that the news we give them of Brad and I being together will help them with moving forward. Maybe this will give them something to look forward to and take the focus off their loss.
Maybe our mistakes are
what make our fate
-Carrie Bradshaw
Chapter 9
"Robert, how are you?" I hug Brad's dad as he comes into the dinning room.
"I'm doing well. How are you Lainey?" The grease from working on his motorcycle stains his hands, face, and clothes. It makes me smile remembering Brad when he came in from working on his motorcycle just last week. Like father like son. Both are so similar in build and mannerisms that they could almost pass as twins with Robert looking only slightly older. He aged really well and I know Brad will b
e the same as he grows old.
"Doing good. You know how it goes." He nods and pulls Brad into a tight hug and slapping his back in a manly gesture.
"How are you son?"
"Same as I was last week." He laughs deep and throaty. I love hearing his laugh and the more we spend time together the more often I get to hear it. I had hardly ever seen him even smile before he came storming back into my life.
"Robert! Go clean up and change for dinner. I will not have grease stains all over my furniture or at the dinner table." Cathy chastises him.
"Yes dear." He winks with a smirk, same as Brads, before heading back to his room and starting the shower.
"He's as bad as a child. What would he do without me?" Cathy shakes her head with a small grin on her face. She loves him dearly and I could only hope to aspire to have a love like theirs.
"Probably whatever he wants." Brad mumbles and I smack him on the shoulder for his comment. "What?" he asks innocently.
"That was rude." I try not to laugh because I know he is only joking.
"I'm joking."
"You're father should be done shortly so go ahead and have a seat and we will get started." Cathy smiles and I know she heard his comment but chose to ignore it.
We gather our food on our plates and just before we say thanks Robert takes a seat at the head of the table looking freshly cleaned and happier than before.
"Mmm. Smells good, Cathy." We all nod our heads before he begins grace.
"Thank you God, for gracing us with this wonderful meal and for keeping my family safe from the evils of this world. Please take care of my son while he is up in heaven. We thank you, Amen." We all say in unison and begin to eat our food quietly. At the mention of Sean, I know our hearts are heavy and we all are still coming to terms with the loss.
"Mom, dad? Lainey and I have some news." I panic, worried about what they will think or say to what Brad is about to tell them. "We have recently started dating and would love your support in this." Brad pauses and grabs my hand underneath the table squeezing it in comfort and reassurance. "I love her and I always have. This thing between us is serious even if she isn't willing to admit it yet. But we wanted to let you know." I hadn't stopped staring at him through his entire speech. I am nervous to see the look on their faces. I would hate to see their disapproval.
"Lainey?" Cathy's quiet voice has me turning to face her. There are tears glistening on her lashes and I am not sure if they are tears of joy, pain, or something else. "Do you love my son?"
Such a loaded question. How do I answer this? We just barely started dating. I just lost my fiancé a few short months ago. It's hard to imagine that I could love someone in such a short amount of time but this isn't just anyone. This is Brad. The same boy who is now all man, whom I have loved since high school.
"Yes. I love him very much." I want to cry because it hurts to say and yet it feels so right. It hurts because I feel it is too soon and yet if feels so right because it has been a long time coming.
You can't fight your feelings towards someone just as you can't fight what fate has planned for your future or anyone else's for that matter. It is just something that happens and either you embrace the feelings or you try to lock them up and pray you forget about them.
I tried that already. I tried to forget my feelings for Brad when I was with Sean. It worked for a little while. Whenever I saw Brad during the family holidays my heart would always race and those feelings would fight to the surface but I would push them down and tell myself I didn't care.
Now I want nothing more than to embrace them. I want to love him more than life. I know that my love for him could consume me completely and that is a scary thought. I can't tell this to any of them though. I'm not ready. I'm not sure I ever will be. As I told Brad before, I fear I will lose him eventually. But just as much as I fear losing him, I fear not taking a chance.
"I always knew there was something between you two. The way you looked at each other whenever you were in the same room. I just wasn't sure what it was."
"It's been a long time coming. I almost lost her once. This time I won't let her go." He says while looking into my eyes to show me he means every word.
"Did Sean know?" I hesitate. I never told Sean of my feelings and I am afraid they will look at me as if I deceived him.
"He knew I loved her." I never knew Sean knew about Brad's feelings for me but I am honestly not surprised. I am however, surprised he didn't mention it to me. It has me hesitating to answer.
"He didn't know my feelings. I didn't keep them from him but he never asked and I never said. I didn't think it mattered when I was with him and Brad wasn't around."
"He would be happy to know you are both happy." I nod and stare down at my plate. I feel horrible for hiding this from Sean but telling Cathy and Robert has also lifted the weight I was carrying. I guess Brad was right in me not needing to worry.
"I hope that he would be. I would never have intentionally hurt him. You have to know that."
"Oh Lainey, we know you wouldn't have done anything to hurt Sean. You can't help whom the heart wants. You just have to know what you're willing to give up to make yourself happy."
"You're right. I am so glad you guys are ok with this. I was worried you wouldn't be."
"We are just happy both of our boys found someone to love that loved them back. That's all we ever wanted for our boys was their happiness and Sean died a happy man."
Cathy and I let the tears flow while the guys give us our space. I needed this. Their support means everything to me and I am so happy they are happy with our relationship.
"We scared the boys off." Cathy wipes her tears with her napkin before laughing and causing a chuckle from me. "Come on dear. Let's go find out what they are up to." I nod and follow her out to the back yard where the guys are relaxed and talking about cars and motorcycles.
I sit and listen, feeling content to just be here.
The true adventurer goes forth
aimless and uncalculating to meet
and greet unknown fate
-O. Henry
Chapter 10
Brad has decided to take me out on a weekend trip. He said not to pack anything that he has everything covered but I worry, as I ride on the back of his bike, just where he plans to take me where I won't need any of my clothes.
It is too loud to try to talk over the roar of the Harley so I just hang on tight with my arms wrapped around his waist and let the wind blow through my hair and just be. Since we have been dating, I've taken short rides around town on the back of his bike but never a trip on the open road with nothing to slow us down. It’s exhilarating. I can see why Cathy has always loved to be on the back of Roberts' bike just cruising every Sunday. I hope that she lets go of her fear and lives again doing what she has always loved. It saddens me that she let what happened to Sean effect her and cause her to fear stepping out of her own home.
As we cruise through the winding mountain road, I'm curious what kind of weekend we will have. Brad pulls in to the little grocery store parking lot up ahead. Cutting the engine, he removes his helmet and climbs off the bike before helping me remove mine from my head then helping me off so I don't fall or tip the bike over. My hair is sweaty and sticking to my scalp and I worry I look like a wet mop. Removing the hair tie from my wrist, I throw my hair into a half hazard bun and stretch my legs from the long ride.
"I just need to grab a few things but I already have the cabin stocked with food and our clothes."
"When did you manage to do all that?" I ask confused. He chuckles before answering.
"While you were at work yesterday I made a trip up here to drop off our stuff and put food in the cabin. I figured since I was already heading this way for business I'd hit two birds with one stone." I nod. That makes sense. Brad works for a company that delivers parts to mechanic shops. Whatever it is they need, he finds and delivers all over the southern part of California. I worry for his safety because some of the places he
has been known to deliver to are in areas with shady people lurking about but I trust he can take care of himself. I have to because if not, I would worry myself to death.
The store is pretty much empty except for two customers who have seen better days, the cute teenage girl operating the register, and a nerdy stock boy about the same age as her.
We grab a few small things such as a bottle of wine, some chocolate syrup, and a small tub of ice cream. I bet he has plans for those and a shiver races over me in anticipation. As we stand in line, the two customers lurking about are in front of us with a small basket of random supplies. Something about them gives me the creeps and Brads presence makes me feel safe just being next to him.
I lean against Brad while we wait for the cashier to ring up the customers purchases not really paying attention and just enjoying the feeling of being in Brad's arms. When he tenses, I wonder what it is that has brought this on. I am about to say something when the customer pulls out a gun and points it at the frightened girl.
"Give me the fucking money or I'll fucking kill you." I want to scream and run far away but we don't move away except for Brad pulling me behind him. I want to tell him to make a run for it but I can't get the words to form. This is it. This was the moment I have feared. I am going to lose Brad the same way I lost Sean but this time I will bear witness to him being taken from me.
The girl trembles as she starts to hit buttons on the register to open it up. "Hurry the fuck up bitch." The man with the gun is filthy from head to toe as if he rolled in the dirt and hasn't showered for a month on top of it while his partner is only slightly cleaner. The man with the gun is shaking like he's nervous but is determined to make it through this. The other one seems to be a look out as he watches through the windows of the store. I haven't seen the stock boy and I wonder if maybe he is hiding somewhere and calling the police. I hope so because we may need someone here in case this guy decides to go postal and shoot someone just because.
Fate (Fate Unexpected, #1) Page 4
