Ben gave Avi a skeptical look, and she shrugged. “I said she would get down. I didn’t say she’d stay. I don’t think Dad’s gotten that far in his training.”
“From what I’ve heard, it sounds like your mom’s probably the one teaching her rules.”
“Yeah, Dad’s not really the disciplinarian sort. He gave me suggestions when I was little. Mom gave orders.” Leaning back in her chair, she chided Ben’s yeah, right look. “Hey, you had two siblings, so your chores were probably divided by three. I was an only child, so every night was my night to set the table, help with the dishes, and take out the trash.”
“Poor baby, you had it so tough.”
“I hope you’re more sympathetic to your patients.”
One brow raised, silently asking if she was finished eating, he took the plate she pushed his way, stacked it with his, and carried it to the sink. “Most of them. I have some who are just whiny. They don’t want to go to physical therapy, they don’t want surgery, they don’t want any restrictions on their activities. They just want pain medication, the stronger, the better, so they don’t have to actually do anything to help their condition heal.”
Avi drew her feet onto the seat and wrapped her arms around her knees. “I bet you’re stingy with narcotics.”
“Whatever their problem is, I’ve seen it hundreds of times before. I know what the level of pain is and how much medication is needed to reduce it. When patients want more pills or stronger ones, I send them to our pain management specialist, who won’t give them anything I won’t. So they’re still whiny, but they’re his problem, not mine.”
After putting the leftovers in the refrigerator, he came back to the table, took her hand, and pulled her from the chair. “What do you want to do? Snuggle with Sundance and see what’s on TV or come back to the bedroom, snuggle with me, and forget about TV?”
Such a question didn’t even deserve an answer, she decided as she began tugging him into the direction of the bedroom.
* * *
Ben was somewhere between semi-awake and asleep, his eyes heavy, his thoughts scattered and unformed. Soft noises sounded beside him, kind of a whimper, kind of a wail, underscored by a reassuring hum. He pushed back the sleep, forced his eyes open—one of them, at least—and saw that it was dark in the room except for the light from the living room. Something warm pressed against his back. Avi, he thought and, smiling sleepily, he reached back to pat her hip.
He found a hip, all right, but it wasn’t Avi’s. It was covered with silky fur, and its owner apparently appreciated the touch, because she licked his fingers with a long, raspy tongue. “No dogs on the bed,” he muttered, drying his fingers on the sheet.
“The baby needs to go out.” Avi’s voice was the reassuring hum from a moment ago. She was moving around, no doubt putting back on the clothes he’d had such fun taking off. “I’m going to take her for a short walk.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t need to. We’ll only be gone ten minutes.”
“It’s dark.”
“We’re not afraid of the dark.”
“I’m sure you’re not. I don’t know about Sundance.” He forced himself to sit up and swing his legs to the floor. Stumbling to the dresser, he took out a pair of gym shorts and a T-shirt, dressed awkwardly, and shoved his feet into sandals. A glimpse in the mirror showed his hair was standing on end, but he let it be.
He was slow to start moving. By the time he left the bedroom, Avi and Sundance were standing at the door, the puppy panting with excitement. They hustled down the stairs and out the door, where she paused long enough to stick her nose in the air and sniff, then turned left.
“Have a nice nap?”
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I’m always tired after a day of surgery. All those people waiting on me, staff handing instruments to me…”
“Cutting people open and seeing them bleed would wear me out.”
“Aw, you’ve spent five years in combat zones. I don’t think the sight of blood would faze you.” And she’d probably seen things that would make him sick.
He wouldn’t make the mistake of implying that she shouldn’t stay in a job that required those sacrifices of her. Though he’d never given any real thought to the idea of women in combat, beyond their conversation the night before, the idea of Avi being there…that bothered him. She’d given enough of her time, taken enough risks. Surely the Army needed a Signal instructor more than they did another body to deploy.
“I’ve seen more blood than a legion of vampires,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to see one drop more, not even my own from a nick on my leg while shaving.”
When Sundance tugged hard on the leash, pulling it from her hand, Ben grabbed it, then slipped the loop around his own wrist. “You lost a lot of friends,” he said hesitantly.
They’d covered thirty feet before she nodded. “Too many. People I went through basic training with, people I went through Signal school with, people I met over there and became solid friends with. And George…”
She gave him a sidelong look. “I wish you could have known him. Not as the man your mother left your father for, but just as a person. He was kind and gentle and generous. He was the only CO I ever had who was admired by officers and enlisted alike. He was fair and honest and honorable, and he treated everyone like they mattered. His troops respected him. They would have died for him.”
Ben realized the muscles in his jaw had clenched, and he forcibly relaxed them. One time, exasperated with his refusal to give up the anger he bore toward Patricia and George, Lucy had smacked him hard on the arm and muttered, Oh, for God’s sake, let it go!
He’d rubbed his arm ruefully and said with what, looking back, must have been a pretty good pout, I don’t want to let it go.
What are you? Six? she’d asked scathingly.
Sara and Brianne had set their resentment aside and thought he should, too. They’d been younger, he told himself. They hadn’t seen the full impact of Patricia’s betrayal on their father. Their lives hadn’t undergone as much upheaval as his had.
Maybe they were just more mature. More forgiving. Nothing could bring their dad back. Nothing could put their parents back together. Wasn’t it better to have a mother than no parents at all?
“You loved him a lot,” he said quietly, slowing his steps so Sundance could sniff around a tree.
“Oh, yeah. He was like an uncle, a father figure, a counselor, a mentor. I was lucky to know him.”
For a moment Ben envied her. For thirty years she’d had a father and a father figure, while his father, for all practical purposes, left when Patricia did. He could have had a relationship with George if he hadn’t been so stubborn and pissed off. If he or the girls had given any hint that they wanted Patricia and George in their lives, he was pretty sure their mother would have acted on it. But he hadn’t, so the girls hadn’t, so Patricia hadn’t, and now that chance was gone forever.
“Don’t you think you would have felt different if it had been your mother who ran off and left you and your dad for him?”
Avi slipped her hand into his. “Yeah. It would have made a big difference. But all I can say is, he was the sort of guy who would have been worth forgiving. He was that special.”
Special and gone, like Ben’s dad. Patricia, though, was still here.
Finally, after sniffing the tree this way and that, Sundance did her business. Avi tugged a plastic bag from her pocket and crouched to clean up.
“You know, at some point that becomes fertilizer.”
“It can fertilize Mom and Dad’s yard. Anywhere else, it’s got to be scooped.” She zipped the bag shut, jogged a few yards ahead to toss it into a garbage can, then came back and caught his arm, pulling him and Sundance into a 180-degree arc, back toward the loft.
Above them, lightning flashed, so quick that he would have blamed it on search lights or headlights if he hadn’t seen the sky for the instant it lit up. Avi noticed it,
too. In a none-too-bad voice, she sang, “‘Ooh, and I wish it would rain down.’”
He chose a different tune for his baritone. “‘Here comes the rain again.’”
“‘It’s raining men. Hallelujah!’”
Unable to think of any other rain song at the moment, he used a childhood rhyme instead. “Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day.”
She swatted him, pretending to be scandalized. “No born-and-bred Oklahoman ever wishes rain away.”
“Nah, Mother Nature’s just teasing us. She’ll give us a little lightning, maybe even some thunder. She might even blow that sweet smell our way, but in the end, it’s just another false promise.”
Avi heaved a great sigh. “I’m walking down the street with a pessimist.”
“Nope. Just someone who will believe it’s going to rain when he feels it on his head.” Luck chose just that moment to plop large drops on both of them. The temperature seemed to drop ten degrees in the next instant, and a breeze stirred along the street, scuffing a foam cup over to the curb. Stepping aside a few feet, Ben scooped it up to toss in the next trash can.
“I love walking in the rain,” Avi said as it gathered strength, “but my mom impressed on me every time I asked for a pet that dogs stink and wet dogs stink even more. Unless you can teach the baby to stay before we go back to bed, I’d suggest we make a run for it.”
“Good idea.”
Sundance thought it was a good idea, too, her giant ears flopping one way, her tail wagging the other. She ran right past the door, skidded when he tugged the leash, and came back with her tongue hanging out. As soon as he opened the door, she lunged inside, yanking the leash from his hand, gave herself a mighty shake, then headed up the stairs, leash trailing behind.
Two hours later, he rolled over in his sleep and found her stretched out on his side of the bed, her head on his pillow. He pulled it so he had more of it, but she just scooted closer to reclaim her share.
With the length of Avi’s body warm and soft behind him, he eyed the dog in the dim light. “Get down,” he whispered.
Sundance yawned and snuggled in deeper.
“Come on. No dogs on the bed.”
She gave him no response beyond a solemn blink.
He sighed, knowing when he’d lost. Reaching across Avi, he grabbed the extra pillow, folded it in half so there wasn’t enough for Sundance to share, and settled in again.
“Okay, you can stay,” he whispered. “But only because I like your sister.”
Liked her way more than was healthy. They’d known each other a little more than seventy-two hours, and he was pretty impressed. If she was in Tallgrass to stay, if she wasn’t leaving the state again in less than four weeks, he might even be thinking she could be The One.
But she was leaving, and there was no chance that she could be that one.
No damn chance at all.
* * *
Ben came to Tallgrass after work on Friday evening, and he and Avi went to Luca’s for Italian. She’d expected the restaurant to be busy—Friday night was date night, after all—but they didn’t have to wait and had their choice of courtyard tables. When she glanced around quizzically at the empty tables, their waitress smiled and said the magic words. “High school football. It’s just a scrimmage, but people still want to see how the team looks.”
Avi grinned at Ben as she unfolded her napkin. Teasing him about this one issue was so darn easy. “We should have gone. Maybe I finally could have met Joe.”
The waitress’s eyes lit up as she handed out menus. “Coach Joe is the best. He’s young to be head coach—he’s only thirty-one—but he knows what he’s doing. The team loves him. So do their sisters, their mothers, all the women in town. He’s awfully cute.”
Ben scowled down at his menu, which made Avi’s smile even brighter. “We’ve got mutual friends. I’m gonna beg for an introduction.” In fact, that introduction was scheduled for the next evening. Dinner at Patricia’s. Mom, Dad, and Ben, Lucy, and Joe. Oh, boy.
After giving their drink orders, she tore a roll in half and dipped one edge in the soft butter nestled into the bread basket. “Okay, Doc, so tell me what it is you don’t like about Coach Joe.”
“You know sometimes, how you meet someone and you just know that no matter what, you’re never gonna be best buds?” He shrugged as if that was the only answer there was. “That’s the way it was with Cadore when we met.”
“I know. I’ve met people like that.” She smiled but didn’t let it drop. “And on top of general incompatibility between you and Joe, there were a few little things that just sealed the deal. What were they?”
Ben shifted awkwardly, scowled at the nearby fountain, then shrugged. “Okay. He’s a jock, and a good one, so he’s got a big ego going. He thinks football is the greatest game ever, while I see the damage that shows up later. Do you know how many of my male patients from twelve to seventy-two are there because of football? And I don’t even see the concussion or brain injury patients.”
“So that’s one aspect. Let’s see, for reason number two…He lives next door to Lucy, and they’re good friends. She gets up early to walk with him every day, cooks and bakes and makes candy for him, and they more or less share ownership rights in Norton.”
His gaze narrowed. “I’m not jealous of his friendship with Lucy. When we were together, Lucy was into me. Really. Seriously. And that’s not ego talking. Though he was never thrilled by my friendship with her. I believe he called me Dr. Jerk when she and I were dating.”
“Hm-hm. What else?” She tapped her finger thoughtfully against her chin before asking in a playfully cautious voice, “Were you mean to Norton?”
“I’ve never been mean to an animal.”
Though she believed wholeheartedly in the never-gonna-be-best-buds scenarios, Avi sensed there was more than that at play here, more than sports or Lucy. She thought about dropping the subject, because their time was limited and truth was sometimes painful.
Still, the question slipped out before she realized it. “Was it Patricia?”
A muscle clenched in his jaw just for an instant, his eyes turning shadowy before going blank. “What about her?”
Avi picked up a knife and spread more butter in a thin layer across her roll, then took a bite, making a yumm sound. Setting it down, she wiped her fingers on her napkin, then cautiously said, “I understand he mows her yard and fixes things around the house and does the heavy lifting and the carrying for her. She’s about his mother’s age, and he’s about Brianne’s age, and…” Their friendship sure seemed a surrogate mother/son type to her.
Ben’s jaw clenched again, and a sharp tone came into his voice. “Oh, yeah, he’s a big help to her. He and Lucy treat her better…It’s been a few months. Let me remember how she phrased it. ‘They take better care of me than my own—’ That was as far as she got before she stopped herself.”
“Ouch.” Avi had no doubt it was true, especially at the time the conversation had taken place. Still, the bitterness in his voice showed that, months later, it still touched a nerve deep in Ben’s abandoned heart. If Patricia hadn’t run off, if she hadn’t removed herself from their lives, she wouldn’t have needed someone else’s kids to be there for her because her own would have been. Was he afraid that she’d found it easy to replace him and his sisters? That she loved Joe and Lucy the way she loved her own children?
“You know,” she began gently, “by all accounts, Joe’s a nice guy and a good neighbor. With George deployed, Patricia needed someone like him to help out. Even if you two had been on the best of terms before George died, she couldn’t have called you in Tulsa every time she needed a piece of furniture moved or a high lightbulb replaced.”
He gave her a long steady look before shifting his gaze to the linen napkin, using one finger to crease the fabric against the tablecloth. After a time, he muttered, “She’s not…” That was how long it took him to think better of the words and close his mouth.
“She�
�s not his mother,” Avi said softly. “He’s not her son. They know that, Ben, trust me. She loves Joe and Lucy, but not in the way she loves you and your sisters. They’re friends. You’re family. No one gets to take your place.”
His dark eyes intense, he dropped the napkin and reached for her hand. “No one but George.”
Avi shook her head. “He didn’t take your place. Given the chance, he would have been the best stepfather in the history of stepfathers, but he never would have given a thought to trying to replace you three.”
He considered it grimly. Was he persuaded? she wondered. After a moment, he changed the subject without giving her a hint, his mood noticeably lighter. “So your parents are coming home tomorrow.”
“Yep. They’ll be in around two. Your mom has invited us all over for dinner. She wants them to meet you.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“She’s also invited Lucy and Joe.”
“Damn. And with your parents home and me staying at Patricia’s, I can’t even get a reward if I’m good.” He pressed a kiss to her palm. “I’ll probably need some incentive tonight to behave tomorrow.”
“Won’t Patricia notice if you don’t come home?”
“She won’t care if I wander in late, like three, four in the morning.”
Avi smiled at the thought of sharing her bed with him. It was surprising how quickly she’d gotten used to that, to snuggling close and hearing his breathing, to reaching out and touching him. She would miss it when she was gone. Would miss him.
The waitress served their salads and refreshed their drinks. Picking up his fork, Ben returned to the subject. “Tell me about your parents.”
She chewed a bite of crispy lettuce dressed with a vinaigrette good enough to sip from a spoon. “My mom doesn’t like dogs, but Dad does, so she bought him Sundance. She does like people, which is why she worked in human resources for twenty-some years. I was eleven years old the first I heard them argue, and it scared me half to death. I’m still waiting for the second argument.”
A Promise of Forever Page 13
