by Andrew Elgin
The very lack of knowledge obviously gave room for wild speculation. But, more importantly for our purposes, it also allowed the government to be attacked, ridiculed and, eventually, largely ignored. For it was the government which had harnessed the dreams of the people into something tangible. When that failed to deliver, the people turned against the creator of those hopes, the deliverer of their now failed dreams.
And what do people do when their original dream is shown to be impotent? They create a new one. Therefore, from looking to the stars as the way to prove themselves, they turned downwards and inwards, to the earth and to themselves, for their deliverance."
Chapter Thirty-Two
They had been there some time. Javin could not tell how long. Meldren, however, was more certain and said they were now well into autumn. It had been another warm day and now even Javin could tell the days were shortening by the way the shadows moved along the walls. It was late in the day, or early evening, depending on how tired you felt.
Meldren held her head tenderly as she sat on the doorstep of their home.
"Is it painful still?" asked Javin as he wiped his hands dry and came to join her. Nobody else was out enjoying the last of the cooling day. But, to the two of them, it was still delightfully warm.
"Mmmmm," said Meldren, creasing her face against the pain. "It was a busy day again. I think I am able to be all right if I have some spare time to myself. But, when it's busy..." Her voice tailed off. She had found what she thought was the perfect way to pass her days here; cooking in a place near the water's edge for fishermen coming and going and the occasional townsfolk who wanted someone else to feed them. Both Javin and she had eaten there once and she had asked the owner, Orland; a gentle, thin man with a bald head and large hands, if he wanted some help. The trouble was, she found that her ability to see colors was still just as potent and just as liable to make her feel sick. The fact that Arlen hadn't affected her was, she had said, because they hadn't stayed long and she had had plenty of other things on her mind.
Javin thought that was the truth of it and sang her to health whenever she needed it. He sat beside her now and listened to the slight discordancies he heard in Meldren. Then, gently, he heard the notes needed to bring back her song, pure and clear, and fed them into her. As ever, his sprite on his neck moved in time and seemed to add some rhythm or harmonics to his song, although he could never tell for sure. He watched as she sat up straighter and took a deep breath.
She leaned into him and slipped a kiss onto his cheek. "Thank you, again. And again. What would I be like if not for you?" She gave a happy sigh. "Oh, I forgot to ask. What did you do today? Anything interesting?"
"No, just one sprained ankle. The rest of the time, I lazed around in the sun eating and waiting for you to come home and cook me something." He smiled at her. She was doing something she had always wanted to do and he was doing something he had never thought of doing; being a healer. Abalan, the only other healer in Littlehaven, was getting old and had welcomed Javin's idea that the two of them helped the town. Javin was nearer the hills and Abalan nearer the sea. People could choose between them now. Javin did not tell about his real talent and used songs to heal, although he held his hands on the people, or gave them herbs. He knew it was the songs he heard that were really doing the work.
"I really do think that you are pushing yourself too hard to be amongst people," Javin said. "I know that it can be healed, but the point is, should it always have to be healed?"
Meldren sighed a little. "You're right. But. It's not just the colors mingling in my head. It's the songs, the sounds that go with them. I don't know if you have noticed, but it's like there's no way to turn either of them off. And the combination is...what's a good way of saying it? It's tiring."
"Maybe you're right. I am listening for the songs, remember. So I'm not in the same position as you. What if it's not just having been with Harmony, though? What if it's to do with our sprites? After all, She did say they were Her way of contacting us."
"So we leave them off? Assuming they want to stay off, that is." Meldren stroked hers. It wriggled slightly, adjusting its position as if it was responding to the conversation in some way. "I'd have to leave mine off all day. I've never been that long without it. I'm not sure I really want to be, either. I'm used to it now. Besides, people come to see it. They expect it. And it's comfortable."
They sat in silence as the shadows lengthened around them, finally moving indoors. As they were about to step inside, Meldren turned to Javin and said, "This isn't exactly how I thought it would be." It was more thoughtful than angry or upset. "But, then again, maybe I didn't really know what I thought it would be."
"Do you regret leaving the dogs behind?"
Meldren thought for a moment before shaking her head. "Not really." She indicated their home. "They were never inside, didn't really stay in any one place very long. I don't think they would have liked being here, especially as they would not have had a job anymore. So, no. I think we did the right thing for them. And for us." A small sadness flickered across her face. "It was hard at the time."
"And now?" Javin asked.
"Now? Now this is a different type of hard."
The next few days were easier ones, for both of them. With fewer customers because of the storms out at sea bringing cooler, wetter weather, she had less to cope with and came home tired but happier. Javin saw only a very few patients and spent most of his time, when he wasn't worrying about Meldren, collecting plants and preparing herbal remedies. He took to listening in on her song and catching the dissonance before it built up. He told her about it one evening after she had walked home, carrying a leaf-wrapped parcel.
"I thought there was something going on, but I didn't really know what it was. It was...easier." She beamed at him. "Thank you for taking care of me."
"You don't mind my doing that; spying on you like that?" Javin was unsure of how he felt about it. On the one hand, he was helping her. On the other, he was prying inside her. He was relieved she accepted the help.
"I don't call it spying. I call it caring! And to show my thanks properly, I will cook you something I learned about today. It's a fish called...actually, I don't know what it's called, but it's long and thin and tastes wonderful. Or it will do by the time I've finished with it." She brandished the parcel. "It's in here."
She was as good as her word, and Javin was very appreciative, finally pushing away the remains with a huge sigh of thanks.
They sat in companionable silence in the afterglow of the food.
"Maybe," said Javin, tentatively, "maybe, we shouldn't be here. All these people..." He let the sentence dangle, unfinished.
Meldren was gazing off into the distance. "We did say that we could choose what we wanted to do. And then we chose this. Which," she said, reaching out to touch Javin, "I have not regretted at all. I did what I said I wanted to do. I learned to cook. I have my very own oven! And you? You became a healer. There's nothing in what we do which ties us to one place. There will always be food to cook, and there will always be healing needed." She shrugged.
"But...," added Javin, letting the word hang there. "Do you want always to be moving from one place to another?" He looked around him. "I like having a home. I like this place. And yet, here we are talking, thinking about what to do, where to go and how to live. It's like nothing's really changed, has it?"
Meldren cleared the table, poured some juice out for them both and then came and sat on Javin's lap.
"Well, the deecees don't work anymore, so that's a change. But I know what you mean. I know things have changed. A lot. But, you're right about one thing. I don't want to keep moving." She rested her chin on the top of his head. "But I also don't want to have so many people around all the time."
"I wonder what happened to Lisick and Gerant and Bellis," mused Javin. "If the deecees don't work, what do they do?" He shook his head clear of those thoughts to focus on the here and now. "I sometimes wonder about hearing thes
e songs." Javin hugged Meldren closer to him. "Yes, it's wonderful. Yes, it's a privilege. But how does that really help us? You hear the songs of people and they're mixed up with the colors and it hurts you. Me? I hear the songs I need to heal people. But that's just like another talent, another way of healing." He kissed her neck. "I don't know what I was expecting, after Harmony. But I don't think I was expecting this."
Meldren snuggled down to bury her head against his neck. "I know what you mean. I thought our lives would be, I don't know, amazing? Strange? And, to others, they would probably look like that. But living them, being inside our lives, it's not what I thought it would be."
"So what do we do about it?" asked Javin, brushing stray strands of Meldren's hair from his face.
"Ah! Good question. What do we do about it?"
"I do seem to recall that Harmony said She would always hear us. Didn't She say that?"
Meldren agreed with a murmur.
"Wouldn't that mean that She's hearing us right now? We're adding this question, this problem into the song She hears because we're saying it out loud, together. So wouldn't that mean that She's going to help in some fashion?"
Meldren sat up a little, the better to look at Javin. "She might. But what if we're meant to solve this ourselves? We can't always have Her solve our problems, can we?"
"It's not really our problem, though, is it? The songs and the colors together, the difficulty of living with this many people...that wasn't our choice."
Meldren frowned as she looked more closely at Javin. "Are you saying that you have problems being amongst all these people? Why didn't you say so?"
Javin face said 'lets not make a big thing out of this'. But Meldren was not about to let it go. "How is it a problem for you? It's not fair to make this all about poor little me, you know."
"It's not so obvious as what happens to you." He paused, trying to find a way to describe it. "I spend a lot more time here on my own. And, it seems like I've become more sensitive to songs as a result. Not the songs of the plants and the house, what I call Harmony's natural sounds. They are clear and I love listening to them when I can. But, when someone comes here to see me, or I am asked to go to another home, it's like everything becomes louder and louder and I can't stop hearing it. I can't hear you in the middle of all that noise. It's painful. For a short time, it makes a sharp pain in my head. I can always bring it back to where I can cope with it. But," he nodded, "it does hurt."
"And it's been like that ever since we arrived?"
"Well, that's the thing. I think it's getting worse. It wasn't a problem to begin with. It's hard to say for sure, because I don't see as many people as you. I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. But, with you and your pain, well, that's why I said about going somewhere else."
Meldren got up from his lap and kissed him on his forehead. "If it's true that She hears us, understands what we're thinking, talking about, I suppose She will let us know, don't you? After all, what good would having these little sprites be otherwise?"
"Maybe you're right. Just saying it out loud does alter the song. I know that." He took a sip of his juice. "I hope that She doesn't bounce into our heads so hard that it hurts, that's all."
Later that night, Javin woke up and was immediately wide awake although he had no idea why. He couldn't sense anything around which might have caused him to wake up. The moonlight, still an enjoyable sight for him, was streaming in through the window, glowing high enough up on the wall opposite to indicate moonrise. He had a sudden urge to go outside and look at the moon.
Moving carefully to avoid waking Meldren, his bare feet made no noise as he reached the door. Grimacing against the slight creaking of the door, he opened it just enough to slip through. He realized, once outside, that, because the moon was low on the horizon, he would have to find a better vantage point. About to turn and go to the hill they had first climbed on their arrival, he realized that if Meldren woke up to find him gone, she might be concerned. She would be able to hear his song, no doubt, but he stopped and decided to go back and wake her. Together, they would watch the moon. That decision made him feel better.
A short while later, with Meldren still bleary from sleep, they walked hand in hand up the hill outside of the village. At the top, they both turned to take in the view.
"Why are we here?" whispered Meldren.
"I was awake and I wanted to see the moon and then I thought you would like to see it as well."
Giving a huge yawn, she said, "You do realize we can see the moon from our bed?"
Javin looked puzzled. "I know that. But, somehow, this was more important. It just felt...right."
The moon was still only slightly above the horizon and ascending slowly. The rippling of the waves way out from the shore was captivating. This was the first time either of them had witnessed the play of moonlight on the water and the way it created a twinkling path there. They sat, arms around each other's shoulders, Meldren's head resting on Javin, silently enjoying it all.
As they watched, so the moonlight's path shifted slowly and it seemed to lead directly in front of them to that distant island they had first seen as a blue haze. The moon's pale light made the island look darker against the sky and the glittering pinpoints on the water seemed to lead their eyes straight to it. The moon climbed higher, but the pathway did not move. It remained, leading to the island where now the tops of its distant hills seemed to catch the moonlight. The effect was as if the island had been painted with strokes of light on a dark canvas.
The two watchers gradually sat up straighter, their attention now given entirely to that distant island. Still the moon climbed and still the shining pathway never moved away from it and the highlights of the island became sharper and grew in number.
Javin leaned in towards Meldren and whispered, "Can you hear it? That new song?"
She nodded, still staring at the view. "It's drowning out everything else. But it sounds so...welcoming?"
Javin gave a gentle, quiet laugh. "Well, I suppose that answers the question about Harmony hearing us." He pointed. "I think that island out there, that's the answer."
"It's better than a dream and it's better than feeling like I've been hit by a rock." Meldren held her hand up to her sprite. "Thank you," she whispered to it, brushing its head gently with one finger. "Thank you."
Preparing to leave was easy. They had accumulated few possessions and those they did have fitted into their two satchels again. Javin went to see Abalan to tell him he was leaving and to give him the herbs he had collected. Abalan was philosophical about it, realizing that there was nothing he could do to hold Javin in Littlehaven.
In the meantime, they discovered that the island was called The Sleeper, because it had looked, to the first settlers there, as though some giant had lain down, and all they could see was a series of hills which they took to represent the side of the head, the shoulders and the hips. It was a two-day journey to reach it. Apparently, it also took four days to sail round it and a day to walk across it, but nobody they found had actually done those things. Nobody had bothered to settle there because Littlehaven had the better harbor. The Sleeper was a place nobody bothered with and was, therefore, perfect for their needs.
One day, not so very long after seeing the moonlight on The Sleeper from the top of the hill, Javin and Meldren stepped aboard a boat whose skipper had been persuaded to take them. They cast off, catching the light breeze which stiffened as they left the cover of the land. The day was bright but the wind was cold, making them shiver as they stood in the bow, facing their new home.
Meldren dug out a blanket from her satchel and threw it across her shoulders, holding one end out for Javin to duck under. She shivered a little. "This feels good to do. And I'm glad we're doing it."
Javin was quiet.
"Are you feeling all right?" Meldren asked, noting his pale face.
"I was wondering why we didn't sing ourselves to the island. This is the first time I've been on a boat. And
this ocean is big and I wish the boat would stay still, that's all. I'm trying to hear something other than this huge song right now."
She smiled and hugged him closer. "Big, brave man! You'll be fine."
There was silence between them for a while as they watched the island ahead. Meldren pointed with her chin at their destination. "Do you think we'll be able to live the way we want to on it?"
"I hope so," was the quiet reply.
Another silence before Meldren spoke again. "And what about Harmony? Do you think She will come into our lives again and change them again?"
Javin didn't answer at first. When he did, it was slow and thoughtful. "As long as we're here, She will hear us. But whether She will leave us alone from now on, that I'm not so sure about. As long as we can hear Her, as long as that connection exists, I don't think we're ever going to have our lives entirely to ourselves."
Meldren considered that for a moment. Then she smiled at nothing in particular. "Good," was all she said.
The sun shone on them. They were not capable of hearing the song it hurled across the vastness of space to the other suns, the other galaxies. This sun, their sun, sang of a new note that had been added. A seed note. It sang of the new melody that tiny note was developing into. It sang that the melody was being added to the symphony of the universe. And the new melody, the new songs it would be creating, were songs of Harmony.
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