by Maisey Yates
“Yes, you certainly do,” he said.
She always had. From going to school, starting her own business, marrying Will when it had seemed like such a crazy thing to do. They had still been at Harvard at the time, and he hadn’t seen the damned point in rushing anything.
But she had been determined. And when Selena Jacobs was determined, there was no stopping her.
“I’ll drive,” she said.
He reached out and snatched the keys from her hand. “I’ll drive.”
“It’s my truck,” she protested.
He paused, leaning down toward her, ignoring the tightening feeling in his stomach. And lower. “And I’m the man, baby.”
She laughed in his face. He deserved it, he had to admit. But he was still fucking driving.
“That does not mean you get to drive.”
“In this case it does,” he said, jerking open the passenger-side door and holding it for her.
She gave him the evil eye, but got into the truck, sitting primly and waiting for him to close the door.
He rounded to the driver’s side and got in, looking down at the cup holders, both of which contained two partly finished smoothies of indeterminate age. “Really?” he asked, looking down at the cups.
“I have a housekeeper,” she said. “Not a truck keeper.”
He grunted. “Now, where am I going?”
“You should have let me drive,” she said, leaning toward him. And suddenly, it felt like high school. Being in the cab of the truck with a girl who made it difficult to breathe, knowing what he wanted to do next and knowing that he probably couldn’t.
Except back then, he would have done the ill-advised thing. The dick-motivated thing. Because back then he didn’t think too far ahead.
Well, except for two things. Getting the grades he needed for a scholarship to Harvard and getting laid.
Those things were a lot more compatible than people might realize. And the bad-boy facade made it easy to hide the fact that he was on a specific academic track. Which had been good, in his estimation. Because if he had failed and ended up pumping gas, no one would have been the wiser. No one would have known that he’d had a different dream. That he’d wanted anything at all beyond the small Texas town he had grown up in.
Fortunately, Harvard had worked out.
He had become a success, as far as everyone was concerned.
He wondered how they talked about him in Royal now. Probably a cautionary tale. Evidence of the fact that at the end of the day not even money could protect you from the harsh realities of life.
That you bled and hurt and died like everyone else.
All in all, it wasn’t exactly the legend he had hoped to create for himself.
After Eleanor’s funeral, someone had told him that you couldn’t have everything. He had punched that person in the face.
“Just head that way,” she said, waving her hand, clearly not too bothered with being specific in her directions.
He drove across the flat, bumpy property until he saw a shed in the distance, a small building that clearly predated the house by the river. He wondered if it had been the original home.
“Is this it?” he asked.
“If I were driving, you wouldn’t have to ask.”
“You are a prickly little cuss,” he said, pulling up to the outbuilding and putting the truck in Park.
“It’s good for the pores,” she said, sniffing.
“So it’s not all your magic Clarity skin care?”
“That works, too, but you know, a healthy lifestyle complements all skin-care regimens,” she said, sounding arch. Then she smiled broadly, all white teeth and golden skin, looking every inch the savvy spokeswoman that she was.
“Question,” he said as they got out of the truck.
“Possible answer,” she quipped as the two of them walked to the shed.
“Why skin-care products? Is that your passion?”
“Why organic food?” she shot back.
“That’s an easy answer,” he returned. “That mom-and-pop place I used to go to for deli food when I had a late-night study session was doing crazy business. And it didn’t make any sense to me why. When they wanted to retire, I ended up talking to the owner about the business. And how good food, health food, was an expanding market. I mean, I didn’t care that it was healthy—I was in my early twenties. I just liked the macaroni and cheese. I didn’t care that it was from a locally sourced dairy. So when the opportunity came to buy the shop, I took it. It was a risky business, and I knew it. It could have gone either way. But it ended up growing. And growing. And before I knew it, I owned a chain of grocery stores. And it became a billion-dollar industry. All because I liked the macaroni and cheese.”
They got out of the truck, slamming the doors in tandem. He looked around at the scenery. He could see why Selena had bought the place. It was quiet. Remote, like his ranch in Wyoming. There was something to be said for that. For being able to go off grid. For being able to get some quiet.
“Now you,” he said, prompting her.
She wrinkled her nose, twisting her lips to one side. “I guess it’s similar for me. I knew I wanted a business that was mine. I knew I wanted to do something that was under my control. And I did a lot of research about profit margins and low overhead start-up. You know I got a business degree, and I also took all of that chemistry. Just as a minor. The two things are compatible. Skin care and chemistry. And like you said, natural organic products were on the upswing.”
“So you’re not particularly passionate about skin care.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I find that you can easily become passionate about a great many different things. I love having my own money. I love controlling my life. I really like the fact that what I do empowers women in some regard. Skin care is not a necessity, but it’s nice. When you feel good about yourself, I think you can do more with your life. Mostly, my passion is in the success.” She smiled. “I feel like you can relate to that.”
He wasn’t sure. Things had changed for him so dramatically over the past few years. “Once you make a certain amount of money, though,” he said, flinging the doors to the shed open, “it really is just more money.”
“More security,” she said. “All of this has to go.” She waved a hand around as if it was a magic wand that might make the items disappear.
He looked down at her and smiled. She was such an imperious little thing. Sometimes he could definitely tell she had come from a wealthy family, a privileged background. She gave an order, and she expected to be followed. Or maybe that was just Selena.
“Not necessarily,” he said, the words coming out a lot more heavily than he’d intended as he picked up what he thought might be part of an old rocking chair.
“I’m sorry” came Selena’s muted reply. “I wasn’t thinking when I said that.”
“I wasn’t thinking of the past either,” he said. “It’s just that money doesn’t let you control the whole world, Selena. That’s a fact.”
“Well, my father sure thinks it does. And he thought he could use it to control me.” She cleared her throat. “That was why... It was why I had to marry Will.”
Those words hit him square in the chest, almost like one of the large stacks had fallen square on him. “What do you mean you had to marry him?”
“I just... My grandfather died my freshman year. Do you remember that?”
“Of course I remember that. You were distraught.”
She sucked in a deep breath. “He was the only person who ever believed in me, Knox. He was the only person who acted like I could do something. Be something. I loved him. So much. He was also definitely an antique. And there was a trust fund. A trust fund that was set aside for me, but I couldn’t access it until I was twenty-five, which was when he figured I would be an adult. Really.”
&
nbsp; “Twenty-five? That seems...”
“Or I could have gotten married.” She looked up at him then, her eyes full of meaning. “Which is what I did.”
Her meaning hit him with the force of a slap. He was in shock. And the way he responded to that feeling was by getting mad. He growled and walked out of the shed, heading toward the pickup and flinging the piece of chair into the truck bed. Then he stalked back inside and picked up something else, didn’t matter particularly to him what it was. “So you had to marry him because you needed the money?” he asked finally, his heart pounding so hard he was sure it would gallop out of his chest.
All this time he’d thought she’d fallen in love with Will. And that had truly put her off-limits, even after the marriage ended. She had chosen another man when Knox was right there. There wasn’t a stronger way to telegraph disinterest.
Their friendship had been too important, way too important, to act on any attraction on his end. Particularly when she’d made it clear how she felt when she’d married Will.
Except she hadn’t loved Will. Hadn’t wanted him.
“Yes,” she said. “I remember that you thought it was crazy when we got married. When we didn’t just live together. Well, that was why.”
“You didn’t tell me,” he said, his tone fierce and a hell of a lot angrier than he’d intended it to be. “I’m supposed to be your best friend, Selena, and you didn’t tell me what was happening?”
“You had your own stuff, Knox. You were dealing with school. And you were on a scholarship to be there. I didn’t want to do anything that would interfere with your grades. And that included bringing you into my drama.”
“I was your best friend,” he reiterated. “I’ve always taken your drama. That’s how it works. How the hell could you underestimate me like that?” He shook his head. “No wonder the two of you got divorced. You married because of a trust fund.”
“I don’t want to rehash the past with you,” she snarled, picking up a bicycle tire and stomping out of the shed. “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what happened between me and Will. Not now. The marriage ended, end of story. It was definitely a bad idea. Don’t you think I know that? We divorced. It completely ruined our friendship.”
“Why?”
“Are you and Cassandra friends?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “But as you have pointed out several times, my marriage to Cassandra was not the same as your marriage to Will. So let’s not pretend now. Why did it ruin your friendship with Will?”
She bristled visibly. “Because of Rich Lowell.”
“That guy who used to follow Will around? The tool with the massive crush on you?”
“That tool only got interested in me when he thought Will was. And after we married he said some things to me... They didn’t seem completely far-fetched. He asked me why Will would suddenly want me when...when he didn’t before. He implied Will only wanted my money. Of course, Rich didn’t know the details of the trust fund, he only knew I came from a wealthy family, but he made me question... Why would Will agree to marry me only to help me get my trust fund? It was so hard for me to believe he was doing it because he was my friend. That he was doing it because he cared about me. I couldn’t imagine anyone doing that.
“When you grow up the way I did... When you have to walk on eggshells around your father, you kind of fold in on yourself. And you focus on surviving. That was what I did. I became this creature who only knew how to scrabble forward. I was selfish, and I couldn’t imagine anyone not being selfish. So when Rich asked me those questions...it just seemed more likely that Will wanted something from me than that he actually wanted to help me. I got mad at Will. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him. That if he thought he was getting any of my money he was completely insane.” She laughed, the sound watery. “You know, that’s why it was extra hilarious that he left me that inheritance. I mean, I guess he didn’t. Because he wasn’t dead. Because he didn’t even really write the letter.”
Knox had some sympathy for her. He truly did. Because he could remember Selena as she had been. It had been so hard for her to trust. So difficult for her to believe anyone wanted anything for her that wasn’t a benefit to themselves.
For a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, knowing Selena had been somewhat eye-opening. He’d discovered that people who lived on the other side of the poverty line still had problems. They could be half-feral. They could be insecure. They could have real, serious life-and-death problems. He had always imagined that if he had money he could buy off all of life’s bullshit. Meeting Selena had been his first realization that wasn’t the case.
But even with the sympathy he felt, there was anger. So much damned anger. Because he hadn’t deserved to be lied to for the better part of the last decade. She had never told him any of the truth, and he couldn’t quite stomach that.
The nature of her relationship with Will had always been a secret from him.
He whirled around to face her and she squeaked, taking three steps backward, her shoulder blades butting against the side of the shed.
“You lied to me,” he said.
“Well,” she shot back, her acerbic tone reminding him of the past. “I didn’t realize all of my baggage affected your daily life to this degree, Knox.”
“You know it doesn’t,” he said.
“So why are you acting like it does? Why are you acting like it matters at all? It doesn’t. It’s ancient history. If I’m not upset about it anymore, then why are you?”
“Obviously, you and Will are upset about it, or the two of you would still speak to each other.”
“The rift in our friendship has nothing to do with our divorce. It has everything to do with the fact that I accused him of being a gold digger.” She sighed heavily. “You can imagine he was not thrilled with that. He pointed out that he didn’t need money, of course. And I said being from rich parents didn’t mean you didn’t need money. I was exhibit A.”
“I understand why that would bother him, but he couldn’t forgive you for that? Will was not the kind of guy who took himself that seriously back then, and I can’t imagine he’s changed all that much in the years since.”
She grimaced. “I never asked him to.”
“You never asked him to forgive you?” he asked, incredulous. “Even though you accused him of something when he was trying to help you?”
She made a sound that was halfway between a growl and a squeak. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you so defensive about it?”
“Why are you acting like this? You’re pissed because I didn’t talk to you?”
“Because you didn’t trust me,” he said, moving nearer to her.
She shrank back slightly, turning her head. And her reaction just about sent him over the edge. He knew she’d had a rough past, but that was a long time ago. And he was not her father. He didn’t use physical threats to intimidate women, and he had damn sure never done it to her.
He had been nothing but careful with her. And she had lied to him all these years about her feelings for Will. She hadn’t trusted Knox back then. And she was acting like he might do something to hurt her now, when he was here because he wanted to make sure that she was safe and protected.
He reached out, gripping her chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look up at him. “Don’t act like that,” he said, his voice hard. “Don’t look at me like I’m a damn stranger.”
She tilted her chin up, her expression defiant. And then the wind picked up and he caught that sweet smell that spoke Selena to him. Lavender and the Texas breeze, and why the hell that should affect him, he didn’t know. But it did.
“Then don’t act like a stranger,” she said.
His blood reached the boiling point then, and before he knew what he was doing, he had leaned in closer, his nose scant inches from her
s. “I’m not acting like one,” he said, his voice rough. “But I’m about to.”
She had never really wanted Will. She had never chosen Will over Knox.
That changed things.
And then he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.
Five
Knox was kissing her.
She was sure she was dreaming. Except it was nothing like one of her typical dreams. In those fantasies—which she had always been quite ashamed of—they were always having some nice moment, and then he would capture her lips gently with his before pulling her into his warm, comforting embrace.
In those fantasies, he always looked at her with his lovely gray eyes, and they would soften with warmth and affection before he would lean in.
In this reality, his gray eyes had been hard. He had not been smiling at her. And his lips were... This was not a sweet foray over the line of friendship. No. This was some kind of barbarous conquering of her mouth by his.
This was an invasion. And there were no questions being asked. He was still holding her chin, the impression of his thumb digging into her skin as he tugged down and opened her mouth wide, angling his head and dipping his tongue deep. Sliding it against hers. And she wanted to pull away. She wanted to be angry. Wanted to be indignant.
Because he was angry at her, and he’d been yelling at her. And she was angry at him. He had no right to question her when he had no real idea of what she had lived through. No real idea of what she’d been trying to escape.
Not when he had no idea that the reason she hadn’t told him the truth wasn’t because she didn’t trust him, but because she didn’t trust herself. Because what she had really wanted to do, even back then, was ask Knox to marry her. But she had known, deep down inside, that with him, a marriage could never be fake. That with him, she would always want everything. And his friendship was so special, she had never wanted to risk it.
Her feelings for him had always been big. Somehow, she had known instinctively that if she made him her husband it would be easy for him to become everything. As painful as it had been, as suspicious and horrible as she’d behaved with Will over their friendship...
