by Maisey Yates
“True enough.”
At least he had found a way to talk to Selena again. At least, they’d had a moment of connecting. A moment where the weirdness of the kiss hadn’t been the only thing between them. They had a history. She’d known him as a college kid, out of step with the privileged people he was surrounded by, determined to use that opportunity to make something of himself. She’d known him as a newlywed, a new father, a grieving man. A newly single man.
Selena was one of the most important people in his life.
“I know you think you’re the captain,” she said softly. “Just like I know you don’t like tea.”
A jolt went down his spine. “What?”
“You don’t like tea.”
“I...know. I didn’t think you knew. You serve it to me all the time.”
“And you never say anything.”
“My mama would have slapped me upside the head,” he said.
He didn’t talk about her much, and for good reason, really. WillaMae McCoy was a hard, brittle woman who had definite ideas about right and wrong, until it came to the men she shacked up with and the bottle of liquor she liked best to dull the heartache of losing them.
“Really?” Selena asked.
“Yes. She was big on ‘Yes, ma’am,’ ‘No, ma’am.’ Good posture and holding the door open for a lady. And I certainly wouldn’t have been allowed to turn down a cup of tea.”
“Even if you didn’t like it?”
He lifted a shoulder. “Manners.”
“Well. Don’t do that with me. You can always tell me.”
Finally, they arrived at Will’s family ranch, the place decked out for a big party. The lights were all on inside the house and he could make out a faint glow coming from behind the place.
And just as he had told Selena, most of the men were in jeans and button-up shirts, wearing white or black cowboy hats. It was Texas. There was no call to put on a tie. Though some of the men wore bolos.
“You okay?” he asked. Because lost in all the strangeness of the past few days, lost in the revelation that Will and Selena had married for reasons other than love, had been the fact that Will was her ex-husband. And it was possible that—even though they had actually gotten married for the trust fund—she was still hurt by the entire thing.
She hadn’t said she wasn’t, and she had spent all these years avoiding Will. Seeing as she’d gone to his funeral, she’d imagined she’d missed the chance to ever connect with him again.
But look how that had turned out.
“I’m fine,” she said, forcing a smile. “It’s a good thing,” she said. “Getting to see Will. I’m glad that I got this chance.”
“All right,” he said.
Without thinking, he rounded to her side of the car and opened the door for her, taking her hand and helping her out of the vehicle.
Then they walked into the party together. He placed his hand low on her back as he guided her through the front door of the massive ranch house. She whipped around to look at him, her eyes wide.
He removed his hand from her back. He hadn’t even thought about it, how possessive a move it was. He had just done it. Because it had felt reasonable and right at the time.
He could tell by the expression on her face that it had actually been neither.
He stuffed his hand in his pocket.
The housekeeper greeted them and then ushered them out into the yard, where Cora Lee was waiting, greeting them with open arms and kisses on both cheeks.
When she pulled away, Knox had that sense again that she was the kind of woman you didn’t want to cross. Sweet as pie, but there might be a razor blade buried in the filling.
Or at least, if there needed to be one, there would be.
“So good of you to come,” she drawled.
“Of course,” Selena said. “I’m just thrilled that Will is okay.”
“So are we all, sugar,” she said.
They moved back through the party and Selena shivered. He fought the urge to put his arm around her again. Obviously, she wasn’t having that. Clearly, she was not open to him touching her. In spite of the fact that they had been friends for years.
It was that kiss.
And as he stood there, conscious of the newfound boundaries drawn in their relationship, he asked himself if he regretted that kiss.
No, sir. He sure as hell did not.
Because it had woken up some things inside of him he hadn’t thought would ever wake up again.
And those thoughts put his mind back at the place it had been while he was getting ready for the party. He wasn’t sure how he was going to move forward.
But maybe the desire for anonymous sex would come next.
He damn sure hoped so. Because relationships... Marriage. None of that was ever happening again.
And that, he realized, standing there in this crowded, loud Texas party with country music blaring over the speakers, was the real tragedy.
He had reached the point that so many people idealized. He had crawled out of the gutter, bloodied his knuckles getting there. He’d found love. He’d gotten married. He’d had a child.
And it had all come crashing down around him.
He knew what it looked like to achieve those things, and he knew what it looked like standing on the other side of losing them.
They were nothing but heartbreak and rubble.
He didn’t want them again. He just couldn’t do it.
He took a step away from Selena. He was not going to touch her again. That much was certain.
Six
Selena felt Knox’s withdrawal.
Although he had taken only a slight step to the side, she could sense that something had changed.
His eyes were distant. And he looked a lot more like the sad, wounded man she had first seen after his daughter’s funeral than he looked like the friend she’d reminisced with in the car about their nerdy college life.
She started to say something, but he spotted someone they both knew from college and gave her a cursory hand gesture before walking away.
She felt deflated.
She knew she was acting a bit twitchy. But damn, Knox looked handsome in that outfit. In those jeans that hugged his muscular thighs and ass. And that hard place between those muscular thighs that she had felt pressed up against her body just the other day.
The cowboy hat. Oh, the cowboy hat always made her swoon. Cowboys weren’t her type. If they were, she would have her pick. She lived in Texas.
No, sadly Knox was her type. And that had always been her tragedy.
She was brooding, and pretty darned openly, too, when her friend Scarlett McKittrick spotted her from across the lawn and headed her way. Scarlett being Scarlett, she bounded across the lawn, her eyes sparkling with determination in the dim light. She was like a caffeinated pixie, which was generally what Selena liked about her, but also part of why she’d been avoiding Scarlett since Knox had come to town. She didn’t want her friend to grill her on why he was hanging around, or to start asking questions about what was happening between them. She’d end up telling Scarlett everything and confessing she wanted Knox. She just didn’t want to have that conversation.
It made her feel a little guilty since Scarlett’s adoption of her son had just been finalized and she knew Scarlett might feel like the baby was why Selena wasn’t hanging around as much. But that wasn’t the reason. She and Scarlett had been friends for years, even though the bond wasn’t as intense as the one Selena shared with Knox, which was unsurprising, since Selena didn’t secretly harbor fantasies about making out with Scarlett.
“Hi,” Selena said, trying to sound bright.
“Hi, yourself,” Scarlett said, her eyes assessing Selena in her overly perceptive manner. “I have escaped by myself for the evening, so I’m feeling good.” S
he ran her hand through her short hair and grinned. “Thanks for asking.”
“Sorry,” Selena said. “I’m a terrible friend.”
Scarlett waved a hand. “Yeah. A bit. But I’ll live. What’s happening with you and Knox?” The subject change nearly gave Selena whiplash.
“Nothing,” Selena said, lying through her teeth.
“He seems... I mean, I haven’t seen him since.”
“I know,” Selena said. “He’s made himself scarce.”
Scarlett bumped her with an elbow. “So have you recently.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been dealing with all the stuff with Will. And Knox came to stay at my house after the funeral that wasn’t and he hasn’t exactly left.”
Scarlett’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
“Yes,” she said. “Don’t go thinking weird ideas about it. There’s nothing weird.”
“If you say so. But he looked... He doesn’t look good, Selena.”
She took a deep breath of the warm night air, catching hints of whiskey and wildflowers, mingling with smoke from a campfire. “I know. He’s not the same. But how could he be?”
“Yeah. I guess if he was, you’d be forced to think he was pretty callous. Or in denial.”
Selena shook her head. “Well, I can say he’s not in denial. He’s pretty firmly rooted in reality.”
Except for that kiss. That kiss had been a moment outside of reality. And it had been glorious.
“Anyway,” Selena said, “he’s feeling paranoid because of everything with Will. I mean, someone faked Will’s death. And someone wanted me and everyone else at that memorial service. It’s weird. And it is nice to have Knox here just in case anything goes down.”
“Yeah. I questioned the wisdom of having a party tonight, even though the only people Cora Lee invited were those of us at the service when Will walked in. But also, it’s Texas, and at least eight percent of the people here have a sidearm, so anyone who tried to cause trouble would end up on the wrong side of a shoot-out.”
“No kidding.”
“Hey,” Scarlett said, obviously ready for a new topic. “When are you guys coming out to Paradise Farms? Or if you’d rather do something different, the ranch next door to mine is doing a thing where you can go glamping.”
Selena blinked. “I’m sorry—what?”
“You know—” Scarlett waved her hand around “—glamorous camping.”
“I don’t know anything about that. Mostly because I don’t know anything about camping, Scarlett. As you well know.”
“It’s not like regular camping. Yes, you ride horses, and go on one of the long trails that takes two full days to complete, and there’s an overnight checkpoint. But the food that’s included is amazing and the tent that’s set up is a really, really nice tent, luxurious even.”
“I...I don’t know.” The idea of being alone with Knox on an abandoned trail, riding horses, sleeping under the stars—or under the canvas top of a very nice tent—all seemed a little bit...fraught. And by fraught, she meant it turned her on, which was probably a very bad thing considering their situation.
“Well, think about it. It’d be a great way to take a break from all the drama here in town. The invitation is open. Because it’s new, the schedule is really vacant. And I know they’d be happy to have testimonials from both of you. You can come out to Paradise Farms and use my horses. Right now, people are bringing their own to ride the trail.”
Selena tried to smile and not look like she was pondering Knox and close quarters too hard. “I’ll think about it.”
“Do that.” Scarlett grinned. “And text me. I’m dying at home buried under diapers and things. Babies are a lot of work.”
“Okay. I promise.”
Scarlett shifted. “Okay. Well, do text me. And...if anything...comes up. If you need to talk about anything. Please remember that you can call me.”
“I will. Promise.”
That left Selena standing alone as Scarlett went off to talk to someone else. She tapped her fingers together, and a passing waiter thrust a jar of what she assumed was moonshine into her empty hands.
She leaned forward, sniffing gingerly, then drew her head back, wrinkling her nose.
“I’m surprised you came.”
She turned to see Will Sanders, her ex-husband—sort of. They hadn’t spoken in so long it was weird to have him here next to her, talking to her. And it also made the years feel like they had melted away. Like there had been no fight. No stupid marriage. No accusations. Like greed and money—her greed—had never come between them.
“Yeah,” she said, “fancy meeting you here. Especially since I thought you were dead.”
“I would’ve thought you were pretty psyched about my demise, gingersnap.”
“I’ve never understood that nickname. I’m not a redhead.”
He winked, but it was different somehow than it had been. “No, but you’re spicy with a bit of bite.”
“Right. I guess I bit you a time or two.” But not the way she’d bitten Knox. Not the way Knox thought she might have bitten Will. Her mind was terminally in a gutter right now.
“Yeah. But that’s water under the bridge. A lot is thrown into perspective when you’ve been through what I have.” She examined him for the first time. The hard line of his jaw, the slightly sharper glint to his eyes. He was not the same man he’d been. That much was certain. She could make out faint scarring on his face and wondered how much surgery he’d had to have to get himself put back together. She’d heard someone mention that Will had been in a boating accident in Mexico and left for dead. He’d been recovering and trying to make his way home all this time.
She wondered if there was anything that could put his soul back together.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “And that was so easy to say it makes me seriously question why I didn’t do it earlier.”
“I know why you didn’t do it earlier. Because you were angry. Because you were scared. It’s fine, Selena. I’m not the kind of guy you need in your life anyway.”
“Oh, I know,” she said. “But it would be nice to be on speaking terms with you.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” he said.
“You did not hurt me,” she said, making a scoffing sound.
“I thought that was why you got so angry at me. Because you were in love with me.”
In spite of herself, in spite of the absurdity of the situation, Selena let out a crack of laughter. “Will Sanders, you thought I was in love with you?”
“Yes.”
“You are so full of it!” she all but exploded. And for some reason, she felt lighter than she had in days. Weeks. Years. “I was not in love with you.”
“You asked me to marry you to help you get your trust fund. And then you got mad at me...”
“Because I thought our friendship was too good to be true, Will. I didn’t have it the easiest growing up. I didn’t have people in my life I could trust. I trusted you. And when Rich planted that seed of doubt...”
Everything in Will’s body went hard like granite. Right down to his expression and the line of his mouth. “Right. Well. Rich has a lot to answer for.”
“I just...” She tapped the side of the jar. “I wanted so badly to believe that what we had was real friendship. I guess maybe that wasn’t super common for you with women, but it meant something to me.”
“So—” he frowned “—you weren’t in love with me?”
She laughed. “No.”
“Then why did you ask me to marry you? You could have just as easily asked Knox. Did I win a coin toss?”
Unbidden, her gaze drifted across the expanse of lawn, and her eyes found Knox. Effortlessly. Easily. Her eyes always went right to him.
“I see,” he said, far too perceptive. Old Will would never have been so perceptive. “W
ell, this does make a few things clearer.”
“I’m sorry I was such a terrible friend,” she said. “I’m sorry I let my issues drive us apart. And I’m sorry I listened to Rich when you had never given me a reason to mistrust you. You would make a horrible gold digger, Will, and I see that now.”
“Yeah, well, nothing like dying and coming back to life to make people think better of you,” he commented. “Of course...the thing with my life at the moment is I can’t have it back.”
“What?”
“Someone has been living it for me, Selena. I didn’t write you that letter. I didn’t write letters to anyone.”
“Will...” She stared at him, at the changes in his face. “What happened, Will?”
“Not talking about that yet,” he said, his voice tight. “I don’t know what’s actually going on and until then...until then I’m just keeping watch on everything.”
Silence settled between them, and Selena swallowed hard and nodded. “Well...well, I’m glad you’re okay. And I’m really glad you’re not dead.”
Suddenly he smiled, and she thought she saw a glimpse of the Will she’d once known. “You know, when this is over I think I’m going to start a line of greeting cards. The Awkwardly Interrupted Funeral line. So glad you’re not dead. Hey, you rose from the grave and it’s not even Easter.”
“That sounds great,” she responded, laughing.
Well, at least one relationship in her life wasn’t a total mess.
“I have to make the rounds. As a reanimated corpse, I’m extremely popular.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and winked again. It seemed a little try hard at that point, but she could understand.
Will’s life couldn’t be totally normal at the moment, all things considered.
“Great,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips.
She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at who was attending the party. She caught sight of Will’s stepbrother Jesse Navarro, who was always a dark and sullen presence. Selena didn’t know him personally, but she knew of him. She had moved to Royal after college, lured by Will’s tales of it as some sort of promised land.
