by Cheryl Bolen
But a minute later, he heard the distant trill slowly growing louder. The little thrush had returned. It perched on the edge of the garden wall, chattering away as though it had never been held prisoner. Perhaps Helen was like the thrush…needed to be kept caged for a time before he would release her, and maybe then she would return to him.
Gareth was twenty-seven and sole owner of a vast estate, but life had left him little to hope for. He’d lost his parents long ago, and his wife to childbirth when he was only twenty. He’d been a fool to marry so young, but he and Clarissa had been childhood sweethearts. After Clarissa and the babe had died, he sought ways to fill the bleak void in his heart that grew larger with each passing year. He gambled, drank—everything a man of leisure could afford—and still could not find peace. His restlessness had reared its ugly head when he had challenged Martin Banks to a duel.
Either he would lose the duel or be executed for killing Banks in an illegal duel. It should have ended tonight, but he’d been confounded by Helen. He’d been moved by her courage to take her brother’s place. Like the songbird, she affected him deeply…in ways he had not begun to fully understand. He had to have her, had to hear her song in the whisper of his name, the sighs full of ecstasy, and the laugh of triumph from his own lips as he claimed her. She was a creature of sunlight, spirit, and innocence, and he craved her like he’d never craved anything in his life. He was a bastard to use her for his pleasure because her brother owed him. But damned if he didn’t still desire her with a wild and unbridled hunger he hadn’t felt since he’d last held his wife in his arms. He would have been lucky to recapture just one bit of that feeling again, but with Helen, it flooded through him, a tidal wave he could not stop, nor did he wish to.
When her crying stopped, and Gareth could hear no more sounds from her room, he headed toward his own bedchamber. Mary appeared at his side. She was a wizened woman in her early fifties and had been with Gareth’s family since Gareth’s mother was a bride.
“Might I have a word, Master Gareth?” she asked gravely, her voice low and disapproving. While Gareth had no interest in being lectured like a naughty schoolboy, he did not dare refuse her the right to chastise him for his wrongdoing. He had practically abducted the poor girl, after all.
“Yes Mary,” he leaned heavily against the frame of the doorway to his own chambers.
“I know it has been awhile since you’ve had a woman in this house. Might I advise sending to Bath for gowns that suit her? It would not be proper for her to wear Mrs. Fairfax’s clothes.”
This remark astounded him. Did Mary think he’d brought home a bit of muslin? Not a woman worthy of compassion? He caught himself suddenly astonished that he’d wished to defend Helen’s character. How had she wormed her way into his heart so quickly?
“I’m afraid I don’t take your meaning,” he growled at Mary, daring her to make another remark against Helen. After everything that had happened to her—most of it his fault—he felt protective of her.
Mary blinked, then narrowed her eyes with annoyance. “I meant no offense to the young lady by saying she was not good enough to wear Mrs. Fairfax’s clothes, sir…rather I meant that she is a great deal taller than Lady Clarissa was, and her fairer hair and skin require a much different color in gowns, not to mention fashion has changed in the last seven years. If you would permit me, I will send for a better wardrobe for her tomorrow morning.” Mary lifted her chin, crossing her arms with an annoyed expression, as if expecting him to growl again.
Gareth relaxed considerably. “Yes, do what you see fit. I care not for fashion, but if it would make her happy…” He trailed off, surprised that he was thinking of what would please Helen when at first she’d only been an object brought here to please him. It seemed he’d been quite moved by her tears.
“Do you wish for me to take a look at your injury?” Mary’s eyes dropped to his bloodied arm.
He gave a short jerk of his head. “’Tis only a scratch. Miss Banks took it upon herself to shoot me.”
“Shoot you?” His housekeeper’s voice rose an octave. “And what, pray tell, were you doing to her that warranted such a reaction?”
He flashed her a weary, yet still charming grin. “Well, that’s the thing. I challenged her brother to a duel, and she showed up dressed like him and took his place. She shot me, accidentally, I think, before I realized she wasn’t a man.”
“Well, if you think you’re well enough…” She was still eyeing the wound with worry. “I think I’ll send for the doctor tomorrow and have him look it over in any case. Goodnight, sir.” Mary curtsied, the corners of her mouth twitching so slightly he wondered if he’d imagined it before she left him to his thoughts and he readied for bed.
He stripped off his bloodied shirt and poured some water into his basin. The wound was superficial. The bullet had barely grazed him. He chuckled softly as he recalled Helen’s wide, horrified eyes as she ran to help him in the field. Her first time to fire a pistol and she had managed to graze him—not bad for a woman.
And what a woman she was. She was truly beautiful with her soft, yielding lips of a green girl, the swell of perfect breasts, and the curve of a slender waist out to her wider hips. Just made for his hands.
God…it has been too long since I’ve had a woman. Gareth almost moaned. Among the many vices he’d acquired since his wife’s death, seduction of other women hadn’t been one of them. He hadn’t the will or desire to bed any woman he’d come across in the last seven years. Yet, the mere thought of Helen beneath him in his bed, golden waves of hair rippling out around her in rays of condensed sunlight, made him shake with desire. What pleasure he would have when he took her that first time. Her sheath would squeeze him tight as a fist, and he knew the pleasure would be beyond compare. It had taken every bit of restraint he possessed to do no more than bring her to climax with his hand. His cock tightened in his breeches, shoving hard against the buttons.
He would have to control himself. She was a virgin. He had no doubt of that, not after he’d kissed her in the drawing room. She had been dewy-eyed with the innocent desire of an untouched maiden, yet she’d responded with a sensual hunger that marked her for a future as a great lover to a lucky man. She would learn just how good it felt to have him deep inside her while his lips drank from the sweetness of her mouth. Perhaps, he might at last find the pleasure he sought, after having had it torn from him seven years ago.
Gareth finished cleaning his shoulder and dressed the wound with a light bandage. As he settled into his own bed, he expected to dream of Helen and how he would seduce her come morning.
Instead, his dreams were haunted by the caged thrush and its fight for freedom, trilling a sad song into the murky depths of his unconsciousness.
*
Helen woke well rested and refreshed, so much so that she almost forgot the troubles from earlier that morning. But the moment her eyes took in the foreign bed lit by sunlight, she remembered where she was. Helen slid out from under the covers to stand, the wood floor cool beneath her bare feet. She washed her face in the water basin and went to the armoire to see what clothes she might find. As much as she had enjoyed the freedom of her brother’s attire, it was not wise to put it on again.
She needed a clear mind to deal with Gareth. She faced this truth with the light of day heavy upon her. The bargain they’d struck early in the morning had to be undone. Surely he would realize that after his temper had cooled and he’d rested. There was no need to keep her here, not when he could have his pick of the ladies of Bath.
Pressing her fingers to her lips, she could swear she still felt his kiss. Her memories of the early morning were merely exaggerated dreams. What they’d done together, the way they’d embraced, touched…it hadn’t been that deliciously wonderful had it? Yes, that was a dream, no doubt spurred on by her anxiety of the situation.
The only thing left for her to do was decide how to tell Gareth she meant to break the bargain they’d struck and convince him to let h
er return home. Excuses would have to be made in order to hide where she’d been. Perhaps she could say she was ill and stayed at a friend’s house… But what friend did she have who would reinforce the lie? It was unlikely that would happen, and that wasn’t her only problem. She would have to find a reputable means of repaying Martin’s debts. In order to do that, she must return to Bath immediately, and she would not do it garbed in men’s clothing. Her family’s name was already shamed enough by Martin’s gambling debts, she could not add to it.
The armoire was full of dresses, each lovely yet simple. The cuts and styles were a few years out of date, but the stitching and fabrics were far finer than she was used to. She chose a pale cerulean gown that had van-dyked sleeves and a modest neckline. It was too short in the skirts, but Helen didn’t mind. She dressed in a light white chemise, petticoats, and stays and was in the act of donning the gown when her door was unlocked and Mary entered.
“Good morning, Miss Banks. I trust you slept well?” Mary came over to help her dress.
“I did, thank you,” she replied shyly. She’d had to let her ladies’ maid, Olivia, go a few months ago. Servants were far too costly to maintain without money when she and her brother could barely afford to eat. Mary made quick work of letting out the hem of the dress with a small pair of sewing scissors.
“The master has permitted me to send for gowns more suitable to your height and coloring. They’ll be here later today,” Mary said as she gestured for Helen to sit in front of the vanity table.
“I do not wish to inconvenience him,” Helen said, distressed to hear that this might in some way further the great debt between them. Mary shushed her as she brushed Helen’s hair and began to style it.
Mary seemed able to read her thoughts. “It was at my request. He thinks little of the expense, and it is no inconvenience.”
Can I allow him to do this for me? The thought of lovely gowns, a whole pile of them just for her…it was almost too much. And she hated herself for wanting them, even just to look at.
“There now, a vision of loveliness. Do not let the master muss it up,” she warned with a secretive smile. Helen blushed, her skin radiating with the implications of Mary’s warning.
When Helen turned and stared at herself in the mirror, she marveled at the style the housekeeper had chosen. Mary had pulled her locks back loosely into a rippling coil much in the Grecian style. Several loose curls fell against the back of her neck, and a matching cerulean ribbon threaded about her hair held it all in place.
“I did not think anyone save the master woke at such an early hour. The breakfast will not be ready for another hour. Perhaps you would care to see the gardens?” Mary suggested as she ushered Helen out of the bedchamber.
“I’m sure the gardens will be lovely,” she said, but when her stomach rumbled, she blushed in shame.
“Oh dear, come to the kitchens with me and I’ll see you get something into that belly of yours before you go out.” The housekeeper tugged one of her curls playfully, the gesture so warm and fond that Helen blinked back tears. Her mother used to do that—tug a curl and kiss her cheek.
Helen started to protest, but the hunger pains only grew and she didn’t see a point in fighting. Mary ushered her out of the bedchamber and led her towards the kitchens.
Gareth’s house, so haunting and dark at night, was a different creature altogether in the light of day. Sun broke through the many windows, lighting up paintings of pastoral scenes and gardens which decorated the walls. It was as though the house’s inhabitants had wanted to feel they were forever in the gardens, even while inside the walls. And yet, despite its beauty, something felt hollow here. Helen thought of when she’d been a child and she’d found an abandoned nest in the late fall. This house had that same feel…as though it, too, had lost those who’d once dwelt within its walls.
“Mary, has this house always been so lonely?” She knew it was impertinent to ask, but her curiosity demanded an answer.
“The master lost his wife and child seven years ago. He was only a lad then, barely twenty. The house has been quiet since my lady’s passing.” Mary sighed heavily as though it pained her to speak of the loss.
“Mr. Fairfax is only twenty-seven?” She was astounded by this. He did not look old, but his voice, his gaze, his physical presence seemed to her to be so worldly, so experienced. To think, he was only six years her senior. Helen repressed the sudden flare of irritation at his treating her as though she were a mere babe at times. Then her irritation faded in the wake of a tremor at how he’d kissed her in her chamber. Maybe he didn’t think of her as being so young after all.
The kitchens were bustling with busy servants, and Helen lingered in the doorway, afraid to intrude. Mary gathered a couple of cookies and ushered her back into the hallway. Helen took the treats and nibbled on them as she followed the housekeeper to a door at the rear of the house.
“Ah, here we are. The gardens are just beyond. Should you fancy a longer walk, there is a nice meadow outside. But do not stray far. It is easy to get lost. We are quite far from any village.” Mary shoved her gently out the door.
The second Mary was gone, Helen started walking, keeping her pace slow as she finished the last of the cookies and put a hand to her stomach, relishing the satisfied feeling. She had the strangest urge to run, to escape. Knowing Gareth was somewhere close made her feel…vulnerable, exposed. Early that morning, she’d been certain she could handle him and be happy to share his bed. But sleeping had returned her good sense. She wasn’t prepared for a joining with a man, especially not one like Gareth. He’d barge into her heart, steal it away, and leave her body restless for him and his kisses for the rest of her life. A woman simply could not afford that sort of problem, not when she’d likely have to beg on the streets to save what remained of her family.
She paused to cup flowers in her hands and breathe their scent in. But she never forgot for a moment that she should be working up the courage to speak to Gareth and break off their agreement.
He must be up and about somewhere on the estate, if Mary’s words were any evidence. Helen still felt unprepared to see him again. It would be too easy to get lost in the memory of his mouth on hers, his hand stroking between her thighs in that dark, hot place. As though she’d summoned her own demon of passion, the spot between her legs throbbed steadily—insistently—for Gareth’s expert touch.
She finally located the garden’s exit, deciding it might be better to get further away from the house for a while and hoping the fresh air would clear her head.
The exit was a stone archway with a wooden door covered in climbing ivy. Helen dug around the slick ivy leaves to find the handle and cracked the door open. Beyond it, she found a sprawling scene of beautiful land, trees dotting the edges of the rolling meadows, and azure skies stretching to the heavens themselves. As she passed through the archway, she had the strangest sense that she was free of Gareth and the binding of their devil’s bargain. Behind her was the house and his control, ahead of her was only open land. She could go where she wished…
I’m a fool to think he won’t come after me. He would find her, she had no doubt, but the illusion of freedom was something she wouldn’t take for granted, even for so short a time.
Fluffy white shapes dotted a distant sloping hill. They must be sheep. Her heart skipped a beat at the beauty. It reminded her so much of her childhood home, a small cottage, far away from here, which had abutted an estate as grand as this. Surely she had taken a wrong turn outside the garden gate. This had to be paradise, not Gareth’s lands.
Damn Martin and his gambling. If only he’d controlled himself. I’d never have ended up here, seen this place, or kissed Gareth.
Helen was halfway through the meadow when it occurred to her that she ought to seek shelter in the trees where he could not see her, if she wished to have her moment alone to clear her head. Given that Gareth had locked her in her room last night, he might think she intended to escape if he saw her in the m
eadow.
She changed direction, walking parallel to the house as she headed toward the nearest copse of trees. She turned back once more, pausing to see the house one last time before she left. The soft snap of twigs and the brush of cloth made her spin back around. Gareth was lounging against a tree six feet away from her.
“Taking a walk, Helen?” The way he caressed her name made her shiver. He was dressed in tan breeches and a waistcoat of dark navy blue, so at odds with the greens and umber browns of the woods behind him.
“Good Morning, Mr. Fairfax.” She gave a nod of greeting but looked away from his openly admiring gaze. It was all too familiar to the way he’d looked upon her last night when he’d pinned her against the bedpost and… Heat infused her cheeks and flashed beneath the surface of her skin.
He shifted away from the tree he’d been leaning against. “Please, call me Gareth. You are looking well. Blushing suits you.”
“Er… Thank you.” She wasn’t sure if she ought to have thanked him for such a comment, but she did it anyway, trying to maintain a pretense of calm. Her eyes scanned the area on either side of him, trying to determine the best route to get around him. He was blocking her best path.
“I should like to continue my walk...Gareth. Would you let me pass?” She finally summoned the courage to look him in the eye.
It was a mistake.
His eyes burned her, invisible flames flicking over her skin, heating her from the inside out. The throbbing started between her thighs again and she clenched them together, but the pressure only made the throbbing worse.
“And let you run off and get lost? My darling Helen, I’d much rather you stay here so I don’t have to find you later.” The grin of devilish delight playing with his lips was far too charming and far too dangerous. He took a step closer.
