Cockpit

by Joanna Blake

  It wasn't her face.

  Yeah, I'd had just about enough.

  "Maybe you haven't heard, jackass, but she's off the market."

  He barely spared me a glance. He was too busy pulling on his drink and oogling my woman. I felt the urge to beat his ass ratchet up a notch.

  "Oh yeah? Says who?"

  I stared at him.

  "She does."

  He finished his beer and turned back to Margie. His voice was dripping with sarcasm as he sneered. "I'll take another one, honey." He used the same term of endearment she had. He didn't know that Margie only talked like that when she hated you.

  If she actually liked you, she was salty as fuck.

  She just nodded and he turned away, back to watching Jenny. This time I didn't mind so much though.

  Because he didn't see Margie spit in it.

  Feldon walked in with a few of his buddies. I took another beer from Marge, who refused to let me buy myself drinks anymore. The woman had a big heart, even if she cursed like a sailor.

  "Jagger!"

  I nodded to Feldon and lifted my beer. I looked around but the meat puppet had slithered off thankfully. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that neither he or Jenny were in the room.

  "Motherfucker."

  Jenny

  ✈

  I was bent over in the stock room, sorting empties into a case. As soon as I filled one up, I added it to the stack by the back door. Then I started on the next.

  "You shouldn't lift that. Too heavy for you, cutie."

  I twisted, looking behind me. Clyde stood there, his eyes looking glazed over. I got a chill, wondering why I hadn't noticed how damn creepy he was.

  His head was tilted in a way that made it very obvious he'd been trying to get the best view of my ass. He was craning his neck, practically upside down. I turned back to what I was doing, ignoring the feeling of his eyes on me.

  I still had work to do.

  "You shouldn't be back here, Davis. No customers."

  I felt him behind me, an instant before his hands closed over my ass. For a second I was shocked. Then a fury unlike any I had ever known flashed through me.

  The fuckwit had no idea what he'd just done.

  I twisted, still in a crouch. Then I brought my arms together to wrap one hand over the fist. Then I swung up.

  Kinda like I was playing volleyball.

  I was pretty sure I heard a crunch as my fist connected with his sac. I jumped back, already wanting to wash my hands. I didn't want to touch him at all, even though it was satisfying to watch the stupefied look on his face turn into a grimace of pain.

  I was too angry to be satisfied with that though. I wanted to punch his stupid face. His stupid, furious face. His normally placid features twisted into something ugly as he snarled at me.

  "Fucking bitch!"

  "You shouldn't have touched me, Davis. Now get out."

  He stood up, clearly still in pain. He loomed over me. He was big. Suddenly, I felt like I might be in trouble.

  Big, bad trouble.

  "Fuck no. Not until you lick my sac and make it feel better."

  "You're disgusting!"

  "And you're a cheap tramp!"

  He grabbed me and I flailed, trying to twist away from him. I started to panic as his hands closed over my arms. He was too strong. His hands were all over me as I struggled. I cursed, realizing I was going to have to scream for help. I didn't have my damn pepper spray or my taser.

  He was fucking lucky about that. I'd really like to tase his balls.

  I screamed but he covered my mouth. No one was coming to help me. He couldn't do this. Couldn't get away with this-

  "Guess I could just fuck you and leave you with another illegitimate baby, you whore."

  I hadn't seen Jagger come into the stockroom. But I saw his face as he grabbed Davis's shoulder and yanked him off me. I'd never seen Jagger's face like that. It was a mask of cold, hard fury.

  Relief mingled with panic as the two huge men faced each other. I was suddenly afraid again. I knew that look on Jagger's face.

  Things were about to get ugly.

  Jagger paused and flashed a look at me. He wasn't waiting for Davis to steady himself. He was waiting for me to get out of the way. I stumbled backwards, leaning against the shelves by the back door.

  Then all hell broke loose.

  Jagger's fists started flying, so fast they were almost a blur. He'd inadvertently given Davis time to recover but it wasn't enough to even the odds. Davis wasn't as fast as Jagger and he definitely wasn't as pissed off.

  And then it happened.

  Jagger flipped the switch to combat mode. He was practically vibrating with his anger less than a minute before. But now he had an incredible control of himself.

  My boyfriend's fists were a blur as he pummeled Davis, forcing him backwards. I got out of the way in a hurry, darting across the room to the other corner. Jagger was so calm that he actually turned and looked at me, mid-punch.

  "You okay?"

  Davis's head had snapped back. But he saw his opening and took it. I screamed but it was too late.

  "Look out!"

  Davis had sucker punched him. Jagger's whole body turned with the punch, going with the momentum to minimize the damage. But I knew it was going to leave a mark.

  With a roar Clyde jumped on him but Jagger was ready. They wrestled, knocking over boxes left and right. Davis broke free and they circled each other, both of them wary. They had each other's measure now. It was almost an even match.

  Almost.

  But Jagger was just a little bit crazier than Davis. A little bit stronger too. And he'd seen more action. He knew how to handle himself in a high-pressure situation.

  Davis on the other hand, was a weak bellied jackass.

  He hit Davis again and again, punctuating the hits with ground out words. Davis was in a defensive position now, unable to do anything but try and block the punches.

  He wasn't being too successful at that either.

  "Never."

  Jagger's fist hit his gut.

  "Touch."

  Jagger's elbow snapped Davis' chin up.

  "Her."

  He pulled his fist back and drove it straight into Davis' nose.

  "Again!"

  We all heard the crunch. Davis bent forward, covering his face as blood gushed out of his badly broken nose. He was squealing like a pig.

  Jagger grabbed him by the collar and forcibly carried him to the back door. I opened the heavy metal door and Jagger tossed him through it. Davis landed on his side, still covering his face with his hands. He stared up at us, sprawled on the ground by the dumpster.

  "You broke my nose, you bastard!"

  Jagger leaned out the door, spitting blood inches from Davis's prone body.

  "Good."

  He wiped his lip off and smiled coldly.

  "If you see her out, cross the street. Don't speak her name. Don't even look at her."

  His voice was cold and his look unflinching. If I were Davis, I'd be peeing my pants right about now. Actually, Davis looked like he might.

  "Next time I won't be so nice."

  Then he looked at me. I watched as Jagger slammed the door and locked it. I ran into his arms and he held me tight, kissing my hair. Then he pushed me away, looking carefully at my face.

  "Are you alright, Jenny?"

  "Yes. I'm fine. Are you alright?"

  He ignored my question, running his hand over my face. Like he was making sure I was real.

  "Did he hurt you?"

  "He just... pawed at me a little bit."

  "I wanted to kill that bastard for touching you. I really did."

  He crushed me against his chest again. I felt so safe. So protected.

  So loved.

  Then Jagger stumbled on his feet. I cursed, realizing he was in worse shape than he'd let on. He'd won the fight, but he'd taken a lot of hits in the process. He was hurt.

  I helped him sit on
a case of beer and looked him over.

  "Did you ride?"

  He shook his head and pointed at his boots.

  "Nope. I used my feet."

  I rolled my eyes. He was loopy alright. At least he wasn't feeling any pain. Not yet, anyway.

  "Come on champ, I'll take you home."

  Margie's eyes were wide as we came out of the stockroom. Jagger was leaning on me. Not hard, but he was weaving around a bit.

  "Sorry Margie. There's a mess in the back."

  She leaned on the bar.

  "You take out the trash, Jagger?"

  He nodded and she smiled big and wide.

  "Don't you worry about a thing then. You two go on home."

  She tossed him a cold bottle of beer and he caught it.

  "For your cheek."

  He toasted her and held it against his face as we stumbled out and into the cool night air.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jagger

  ✈

  I watched Jenny as she organized her supplies on the kitchen counter. I was sitting on a stool, slowly bleeding onto the linoleum. She looked so beautiful, so precious to me. Even though the scuffle with Davis had messed up her hair and torn the shoulder of her shirt.

  The thought of what he'd tried to do made me sick. It made me see red. It made the pain far away, a minor concern.

  Something else was bothering me though. Something Davis had said to her when he thought they were alone. It was fuzzy but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

  "What did he mean?"

  "What?"

  I winced as she dabbed peroxide on my swollen cheek. He'd split it with that sucker punch, just a little. Just enough to leave a scar. That thing he'd said was itching at the back of my mind though.

  It hadn't made any sense at all. I stared at her, feeling like I was looking through carnival glass at a stranger. Something wasn't right.

  "Davis. What did he mean about giving you a baby?"

  She looked at me. Then she went back to what she was doing.

  "He's disgusting. I can't believe I used to think he was a nice guy."

  "Yes, but Jenny. What did he mean? He said another baby. Didn't he?"

  "What do you think he meant? He was being a pig."

  I just looked at her, waiting. She finished cleaning my cheek and leaned back. She bit her lip, suddenly looking very, very nervous.

  "Jenny? What is it?"

  She took a deep breath, then got some antibiotic ointment and a gauze bandage. She applied it and taped the soft white square to my cheek.

  "I don't need all that."

  "Just leave it on tonight. Please?"

  I nodded and waited. I was waiting for her to tell me the truth, though I was already starting to suspect it. I needed to hear it from her though. The picture was coming into focus. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. How blind.

  Jenny wouldn't look at me while she started to clean up. But at last she started to talk.

  "I'm not a babysitter."

  My voice was thick. From emotion or being punch drunk, I couldn't say.

  "What do you mean?"

  She exhaled and looked at me. She looked nervous. She was afraid to tell me.

  "I have a kid, Jagger. Hallie is mine."

  I nodded. It made sense. It explained why she'd waited to go to school. And the wistful way she talked about going back to college someday. It explained her ferocious work ethic.

  And why her father had asked me if I liked kids.

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  She was staring at the floor, the wall, anywhere but at me.

  "At first I thought you would run. That we were just having fun, and that if I told you, it would ruin it."

  She looked at me.

  "Everything I'd heard about you. Everything I thought you were. I thought that was the last thing you would want."

  I swallowed, getting a very strange feeling in the pit of my belly.

  "I won't run. I don't care who you were with before. As long as you're with me, now."

  She looked away and I knew- I knew before she even said anything that she was about to crush me.

  And then she did.

  Her eyes were shining as she lifted them to mine.

  "That's just the thing, Jagger. I wasn't with anyone else."

  I stared at her, uncomprehending.

  Then I got it. I got it. I closed me eyes, one thought running through my head over and over again.

  "You mean-"

  "You're her daddy."

  I was a father. Me. The wildest fixed-wing pilot to serve in a decade. The never-settling-down type. The eternal bachelor.

  I was a daddy.

  The first thing I felt was happiness. Pure, shining and bright. Jenny and I had a baby. Together.

  Then it hit me. She hadn't told me. The kid was - what - almost a year old? I'd missed out on all of that time. I hadn't gotten the chance to be there for her.

  For either one of them.

  "What the fuck, Jenny?"

  "I'm sorry Jagger. I... didn't expect to fall in love with you."

  "You should have told me! Right fucking away!"

  I stood up and started pacing. I was furious. How could she keep this from me? I could have come home for the birth of our child. I could have been involved. But- she hadn't wanted me.

  So I'd missed everything.

  She was wringing her hands, fighting back tears. I'd never seen her so upset. I'd never seen her be anything but strong.

  Normally, I would comfort her. But right now, I didn't fucking care. I was too angry.

  And what she said next made me so angry I couldn't even look at her.

  "You don't have to- do anything. I don't expect you to support her- or us. I never wanted to make you feel responsible. It was my choice to... keep her."

  I forced my breathing to slow down. I felt like I was in combat, my heart was racing that fast. I was so angry that I took a step away from her, afraid to be too close.

  If she touched me, I knew I would shatter.

  "Are you shitting me? I'm not responsible? For my own child?"

  She took a step towards me, reaching out with her hand.

  "You could be- if you wanted to. I was always going to tell you, Jagger. I just-"

  "You have a lot of fucking nerve, Jenny."

  "I- what?"

  Jenny

  ✈

  "You kept her from me. Even after I told you I didn't have a family."

  Jagger was staring at me with clear cold eyes. He'd been confused at first. Then upset.

  Now he was full on furious.

  No, he was past furious. He looked at me like I was a stranger. Like he hated me.

  "You kept my daughter from me."

  "If I thought you would have wanted her- or us- I would have-"

  "Shut up!"

  He held his head in his hands, leaning against the wall. I could see he was trying to wrap his head around it. Trying to calm himself down.

  "I don't understand. Are you saying that you want her? You want our little girl?"

  He didn't look at me when he nodded.

  "Yeah, Jenny. I fucking want our little girl."

  He looked at me and I took a step back from the withering ice in his gaze.

  "But I'm not sure I want you."

  My jaw dropped.

  "Because I didn't tell you?"

  "You lied to me. You lied to me and you used me."

  "Please Jagger... let me explain. Let me-"

  I reached out to touch him but he flinched away.

  "No! I can't talk to you. I can't even look at you."

  "Why?"

  The word was torn out of my chest, leaving a huge gaping hole full of pain. He laughed bitterly, still leaning his hands on the wall.

  "You truly believed I would abandon a child. After what happened to me. After everything I told you."

  He looked at me then. And I knew it. I felt it in my gut.

  I'd lost him.
/>   "You don't know me at all, Jenny."

  I gripped the kitchen counter, wishing that this was a dream. A dream I could wake up from. But it wasn't. I'd hidden from the truth and now it was here, destroying everything in its path.

  Destroying us.

  "I tried to tell you! So many times!"

  "You should have tried harder."

  I choked back a sob. I would not cry. Not when it turned out he did want our little girl. I'd been so stupid. So wrong.

  And now I was losing him.

  "You can see her anytime you want, Jagger. I would never- never try to keep you from..."

  But I had. I had deprived him of the chance to prove me wrong. To watch her grow up.

  To love her.

  He was watching me coldly. A bitter smile was on his lips. As if he knew what I was thinking.

  "I think you should leave."

  I nodded jerkily, grabbing my purse and walking towards the door on wooden legs. He watched me go then he followed me out onto the street. I realized that in his twisted way, he was being a gentleman. For the last time ever, he was walking me home.

  The whole way across the base, I was fighting back tears. Trying to hide them. But I shouldn't have worried. He never came close enough to see me cry.

  He walked half a block behind me. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked up my front path. He stood there in the street, looking broken.

  I wanted to hold him. To tell him I was sorry. I wanted to beg for his forgiveness.

  Instead, I put my key in the lock, and turned it.

  When I looked back, he was gone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jagger

  ✈

  I stared at the ceiling, thanking God that it was the weekend. Not that I had a lot to be grateful for. Not after I'd thought I found someone who loved me as much as I loved her.

  What a joke.

  She saw me as a playboy. Someone to pass the time with. Someone for fun.

  Meanwhile, I'd been planning to spend the rest of my life with her.

  I rubbed my face. I would have to see her. If I was going to be in the kid's life.

  Not the kid. A daughter. My daughter.

  Hallie...

  I closed my eyes, trying to pull up every time I'd seen her. I'd thought she was a remarkably pretty child. No surprise there, considering the gene's Jenny had passed down to her.