by Joanna Blake
"Kicked in the head?"
He smirked at me.
"It happens. Have you been around horses much? Or goats?"
"Yes, I had a horse growing up. I can ride, though I've never mucked a stable."
"We do more mucking than riding. Though we do need to exercise the horses. That will come in handy."
"I'm willing to learn to do whatever is needed."
"Good. We grow our own food. And we have several rescued cows, goats and chickens that provide milk and eggs. Of course, you need to keep the roosters away."
"The roosters?"
He nodded.
"They are disposed of by farmers who just want the hens for the eggs. We rescue more roosters than anything. That's why we need so much land. They will fight if they get too close. The roosters man, they are vicious. You won't sleep too late around here. Believe me, I've tried."
He pushed open the gate and I scooped up my bag and followed him inside. A dirt road led up a hill covered with trees. We were a few miles from the small town where the bus had left me. I was bone tired.
And I'd never felt more alive in my life.
Except when I was with Nick.
Nothing could really compare to the freedom I'd felt when I was with him. The sheer exhilaration. The excitement. The passion.
Oh yes, especially the passion.
But I wasn't allowed to think about him. Only for a little while. Only once it was late and the lights were out. Then I let myself remember.
"I'm Al."
"Rosie."
"Yeah, I caught that."
I smiled. He smiled back. Maybe this would be a good place after all.
"How many volunteers do you have?"
"Just a handful. Most of us are lifers. What about you?"
I was looking around, checking out my new home as we walked into a clearing. At least, I hoped this would be my new home.
"I have worked with a few charities, but more in the organization phase. I'm eager to get my hands dirty."
He grinned at me.
"That's exactly what we need. More hands, the dirtier the better. Come on, let me introduce you to everyone."
He climbed the steps to a porch of a ramshackle old house next to a barn.
I nodded and centered myself. I was ready.
"Sure. Let's go."
Chapter Nineteen
Nicholas
"Yooo hoo!"
I was helping my mother in the kitchen when we heard the voice coming from the front patio. I recognized Kelley's voice. I glanced at mom, wiping my hands on a dish towel.
"That's my business partner."
My mother raised her eyebrows, saying nothing. She was thrilled that I was out of the escort business. But she had doubts about everything else.
And she was not amused about the whole Rosie situation.
In her words 'I should never have left a woman who might have been carrying my child."
She had a point there. And my mother's opinion carried a lot of weight with me. Especially considering what our own father had done. Brought her to this country and then left her as soon as it got too hard.
Of course, I would never do that to Rosie. I not-so-secretly hoped that she was pregnant. That she would call.
That she would need me.
"Hey Kell."
Kelley stood outside the apartment, holding up a stack of magazines. She had a crazy, ear to ear grin on her face.
"I know our meeting was for tomorrow. But I had to come over when I saw these."
I stepped back, inviting her inside. I made the introductions and Kelley, as usual, made herself at home.
"You didn't tell me she was famous."
"What are you talking about?"
"You look hot in print, Nick. Not that I would have recognized you if I hadn't caught her name."
"Who?"
"Rosie, of course."
I stared at her.
"What did you say?"
"The barefoot Duchess? Well, she's not a Duchess, not yet anyway. But she's in line for the title."
She tossed the magazines on the kitchen island. I froze, my eyes glued to the pages. It was us. Rosie and I. On vacation. In London. In each other's arms.
"Rosie... Oh no."
My heart started beating like a drum. She'd done it. Rebecca had actually done it. She'd leaked the photos to the press. And apparently, she'd made sure they knew that I'd been hired.
The articles made it sound like she needed to pay a man to sleep with her. Which was ridiculous. Even in the casual shots her beauty was unmistakable. But still, it looked bad.
I closed my eyes, wishing I could see her. Hold her. Tell her it was going to be alright.
"Apparently she's in hiding."
"Who, Rosie?"
She nodded, popping a mint into her mouth.
"Yeah no one has seen her in weeks. Have you heard from her Nick?"
I shook my head.
"I'm sure her family has her on lockdown."
"They are the ones who reported her as missing."
Now I was starting to really worry. Rosie wouldn't do something stupid would she? I shook my head. No. I was not going down that road. Besides, she wasn't the type who gave up easily. Or cared what people thought.
"She probably joined the Peace Corps or something"
Kelley rolled her eyes.
"She sounds like a paragon."
I frowned, staring at the gaudy magazine covers.
"She is."
Kelly put her elbows on the table and grinned at me. My mother meanwhile was reading the magazine. But I knew she was listening. She never missed a trick.
"I know how you can make some money. And get the girl."
"How?"
"Give a tell-all interview. And really, tell it all."
"I would never do that to Rosie."
"What if you tell the truth? About that cousin of hers who hired you? It might turn the tables. And it's not like this could get worse for Rosalie."
I stared at her, my wheels spinning. I would be confirming the story. But I could get even with Rebecca in the process. And maybe, just maybe, it would reflect well on Rosalie. And get the word out about her charities and causes.
And I could tell her I loved her.
One last time.
"I'll do it."
"Nico!"
My mother had opened her mouth at last. She was scowling at me. Kelley watched us like she was watching a tennis match, her eyes darting back and forth between us.
"Mom. I have a chance to do the right thing. For her."
"They don't know your name. You will shame yourself."
"I already did."
She crossed her arms across her ample bosom.
"How?"
"When I let this happen to her. I didn't mean to. If I can do anything- anything to make it better, I have to."
She stared at me, her dark eyes probing. Finally, she nodded.
"You always take care of the woman. I just hope someday you find one who wants to take care of you."
"I did mom. I just need to prove to her that I deserve it."
Rosalie
I used the small shovel to turn the compost heaps one by one. We did this once a week during the warm season. Later, I would fill a wheel barrow with the ripest heap and work it into the soil of our vegetable garden. In the five weeks I'd been here, I'd taken over that duty almost exclusively.
I'd also set up beehives around the extensive property. It had been owned by Julio's wealthy grandfather and passed down only a few years ago. Now he was doing something with the land. Something he believed in.
It was crazy and disorganized, but I loved it.
Lisa popped her head around the corner. She was a student from Canada who'd come to Spain for work study and never left. I had a suspicion she was in love with Julio but if so, she never said a word about it. She was funny and kind.
She was my friend. A real friend, too. I knew the difference now. I'd grown up a lot since
learning what Rebecca had done. It was still confusing to think that she had hated me all those years while being nice to my face. But I knew it had more to do with her character than mine.
"Tea break?"
I smiled and headed to the porch where the communal tea was being served. Of course, it wasn't English tea. It was a weak sun brewed tea, but the fresh mint leaves and citrus slices made it taste wonderful and refreshing.
Peter, Albert, Melanie and Lisa were already up there, cooling off. They'd taken me in, fed me, given me a bed and a purpose. No questions asked.
Of course, eventually, I had told them the truth. At this point they all knew the sordid story of my escape from London and high society. Lisa and Melanie had high fived me and told me I was brave and 'bad ass.'
That still made me smile. Me, a bad ass. It sounded like something Nick would say.
I could think of him now without crying. He hadn't meant to hurt me. I knew that now.
I was almost certain that he had genuinely cared about me in the end, no matter how it had started. I still felt a pang of loneliness when I thought of him. But I wished him well.
I hoped he was working towards something, like I was.
I knew he didn't want to be with me. It hurt. But I was glad he had decided to start over. I liked to think of him on the beach in California, or cooking for his Mom and sister.
Maybe someday... I would see him again. I wondered what that would be like. If I would feel excited, or scared, or if I would have to fight the urge to throw myself into his arms.
It was probably not going to happen. So there was no point in dreaming about it.
I was sipping my tea when Julio walked up with a strange look on his face. He carried a bundle of mail along with an open box. I didn't even look up for the daily mail ritual. Nobody knew I was here. Nobody was sending me mail.
I hadn't even turned my phone on in days.
But Julio was starting at me, standing at the head of the rough wood table.
"My sister sent me a care package. She thought you might want to see this."
His sister Marta was a frequent visitor. She was still in college, and so funny. She always wanted to style my hair and bring me clothes. It wasn't necessary. The horses and pigs didn't care what I looked like.
But I let her have her fun. It wasn't hurting anyone. And I liked her.
Another friend. I had six now. More than I'd had my entire life.
"What is it?"
"I think you better read it."
He put something in front of me. It was a magazine. I stared at it, blinking. It was a picture of Nico. There was a small picture of me in a little box to the side. The title read 'Interview with an escort.'
I stared at it, a terrible feeling welling up inside me. It was hurt and anger. It was breakfast.
I was going to throw up.
"Oh no."
"What is it Rosie?"
"Excuse me."
I slapped my hand over my mouth and ran to the back of the barn. I barely made it around the corner before my breakfast exploded from my mouth. Like clockwork, I seemed to puke right before lunch. And then I was immediately hungry again.
"Where is she going?"
"She's puking again."
"Shit, does she have a stomach bug?"
"No stupid, she's preggo."
I stopped puking long enough to shout back at them.
"I can hear you!"
I heard them laughing and smiled. Then the last of my food came up. Just like that, the nausea disappeared.
I knew she was right.
I was definitely pregnant.
I'd suspected for weeks but I'd only just told Lisa and Mel that I was expecting. I knew on some level that I should be freaking out. Instead I was glad. I might not have Nico. I never really did. But I would have our child. And I could give it all the love I had lost when Nico went back to California.
He left me. I had to remember that. Even if he'd thought I would never forgive him for lying, he never really gave me a chance to. He'd cut and run.
And now he had gone one step further. He had made our relationship public, apparently including the gory details. The hurt of it made me dizzy.
When I came back to the table Lisa was reading the article. Nico's handsome face seemed to be staring at me. And right through me. I turned away.
"I need to get back to work. Throw that out when you're done with it."
Lisa held up a finger.
"Just a second."
She cleared her throat dramatically and read.
"I never met anyone like her. Lady Rosalie wants to make the world a better place. She sees the best in everyone, even someone like me. Because of her I quit being an escort. I only wish I could tell her I love her one more time."
I sat down with a thud.
"What?"
She smiled at me.
"Oh Rosie, this is so romantic!"
I sipped my tea as Lisa read bits and pieces of the article to me. He blasted Rebecca, making her sound like a monster. He made the social scene in London sound superficial and despicable. He even gave some tips for men on how to please a woman.
Those were met with loud whoops from around the table.
My cheeks were burning. But I didn't stop her from reading. Because most of all, Nico talked about me.
He said he didn't deserve me. He said he had never been in love before. He said he was torn apart by the agony of deceiving me.
He said he loved me. Over and over again.
And he told them that he gave Rebecca's money to the bees.
I couldn't help it.
I started crying.
"Hey Rosie, maybe you should give this guy another chance."
I swallowed back the tears.
"I don't know why he's saying all that. He hasn't even called me."
Lisa smiled.
"How do you know? You never turn your phone on. Besides, he should probably know he's going to be a daddy. This article is three weeks old, if you didn't notice."
She was right. I should have told him about the baby. I was just getting used to the idea.
"Well, go on then! Call him!"
I nodded. Then I slowly walked inside and pulled my phone out of the trunk beside my bed.
Chapter Twenty
Nicholas
She'd texted me back. After weeks of waiting, hoping she'd seen the article, praying. I'd finally given in and texted her. I had to know how she was. After a few days I'd started calling. Leaving her long winded messages. Short ones too.
That I was sorry. That I loved her. That I knew I didn't deserve it but I needed to know that she was okay.
Meanwhile, I threw myself into work, running my food truck with an almost unreasonable amount of success. It was a hit. A big hit. And now it was in Kelley and Mark's hands. I'd left them to run it. Maybe permanently.
Because Rosie was pregnant.
And if she would let me stay, I would go wherever she was. Anywhere. The North fucking Pole.
Of course, Southern Spain sounded a whole lot more pleasant.
I had no expectations of what it would be like. What she would be like. We had both been changed by this. I'd been changed profoundly. If she would let me be near here, that would be enough.
It had to be.
I would just have to learn to keep my hands off of her. That would be my penance. I knew it would be the hardest thing I ever did.
I had leased a car at the airport. A long-term rental. I hoped I would need it.
I drove deeper and deeper into the countryside, passing a small town. It was bright and cheerful with a town square. I could almost smell the ocean through the window. I could see why Rosie would love this place.
It was fresh, natural, beautiful. Just like she was.
I saw a hand painted sign up ahead for the Farm Sanctuary. I was glad she had found some like minded people to work with. Even if she had fallen in love with one of them.
I knew that was a distinct
possibility.
Who could resist Rosie? I hadn't been able to. And I had been as closed off as they come. Forget looking for love, I hadn't even believed it existed. It was one of the hazards of the job. I had thought that if love existed, there wouldn't be so many lonely people in the world.
I had been so, so wrong.
I got out to open the gate and pulled the car through. I closed the gate behind me. It was a good thing too, because a rooster with a puffed up chest was strutting this way. I watched him, thinking about how I'd once been like that.
Proudly male. Arrogant. Selfish.
Those days were long gone.
Now I was coming begging.
I drove slowly up the dirt road, on the lookout for more stray roosters. God knows what else they had wandering around here. As I pulled up to the house, I could see horses in a field, along with cows and pigs in separate pens. Something that looked like a baby goat was scampering around the yard freely.
I got out and looked around. I turned slowly in a circle, my heart in my throat. The second I saw her, my whole body tensed me. A slender figure was bent over in a small garden just past the barn. I recognized her, just from the way she held herself.
Even bent over in the dirt, she looked like a queen.
"Rosie."
She stood up slowly, staring at me. She was hot, dirty and sweaty. She had a handkerchief over her hair, with curls escaping her braid and a smudge across one cheek. Her jeans were dusty and her shirt was wrinkled. A tiny roundness around her stomach was the only sign of impending motherhood.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. But in a good way, if that made any sense. A love punch.
Not that anything made sense when it came to Rosie.
Why she would like me. How quickly I had fallen for her. Her kindness in allowing me to come and see her after all this time.
The list was endless. But the only thing that mattered were the two things that I knew.
She was keeping the baby.
And she was letting me be a part of the baby's life.
Beyond that, she had made no promises. She's only listened. And I had talked.
Now that I was here, all my words dried up.
