“So what did you do?” Kathy asked.
“I knew I had to end it with him. Stop it before the word love was spoken.”
Elise looked away and squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears. “I made all these decisions before we finished the herb garden. It was so cute. Very simple with its little gravel paths and the birdbath in the middle. We had such a good time doing it! He and I went to the nurseries to buy the plants. We had glorious, wonderful, divine days of laughter while riding around in Diego’s old truck. There was no AC, and the wind whipped in through the open windows. We’d arrive at a nursery sweating and happy.”
Elise took a moment to calm herself. “We enjoyed each other. That’s my highest compliment. We never ran out of things to talk about, and we slipped in and out of Spanish and English until it seemed like we had our own language.”
She looked at them. “Everything was fun. It was all so easy. I’d never had that with Kent. With him, a dynamic was set up when we were children. He was the older one, and therefore smarter, more knowledgeable, and infinitely wiser. I was the little girl who looked up at him in adoration—and kept her mouth shut.”
“But you and Alejandro were equals,” Kathy said.
“Yes. We agreed on fundamentals, things like...” She put her hands up. “I don’t know how to explain it, but we were the same.”
“I know what you mean,” Olivia said. “Kit and I were like that. Every idea one of us had, the other one liked it.”
“Exactly! We’d go into a nursery, separate, and twenty minutes later we’d meet and both of us would have a wagon full of the same plants. Diego got sick of us. One time he tried to stick his nose into what we were doing. He said we needed to plant some red flowers around the border. I told him no, that I wanted blue. Later, Alejandro said he’d told his brother the exact same thing. Diego threw up his hands and said we were both crazy.”
Elise looked away. “It was all too good. Too perfect, too wonderful. And I realized that I had to stop it.”
“While you still could,” Olivia said.
“Yes. When the garden was finished, we looked at each other and I knew he was thinking what I was. What was our next project to do together? But I’d already decided what I had to do.”
“And that was?” Kathy asked.
“To end it in a way that there would be no mistaking what I meant.” Her voice lowered. “I was horrible. I was a monster. I was...”
Olivia squeezed her hand. “Tell us.”
“I said, ‘Thank heavens that is finally done. Now I can do something worthwhile. See you around, Alejandro.’ Then I turned my back on him and walked away.”
“How long did you cry?” Olivia asked.
“Off and on for a week. I tried to give my attention to Kent. I asked him out on a date. Cooked for him. Tried to entice him into sex.”
“While you imagined being with Alejandro?” Kathy suggested.
“I wanted to do that, but in bed, Kent was so fast that I didn’t like to think that’s how Alejandro would be.”
“Is this when the red bikini and the binoculars came into play?” Olivia asked.
“Yes. I wouldn’t allow myself to be near him, but I watched him from behind the curtains. I saw his muscles play against each other, saw him spray himself with water.”
“I assumed he knew you were watching,” Olivia said.
“Oh yes. He weeded the flower beds in my line of sight twice a day. And I began swimming.” Elise gave a one-sided smile. “In a tiny bikini. Not a string really, but close to it. And to make sure I looked good, I went to the gym every morning. I’d seen Alejandro looking at my legs so I did a lot of legwork.”
“And he watched you?” Olivia asked.
“Yes. There’s a big hedge that surrounds my parents’ pool, and one day when he came around it, I was sitting on the end of the diving board. I pretended I didn’t see him. I’ve always been good in the water so I stood up, walked to the end, ran down the board, and did a perfect swan. I swam to the other side of the pool and got out. I looked to the opening in the hedge but he was gone.”
“You’re cruel.” Kathy’s smile showed her delight.
“Young lovers are cruel to each other,” Olivia said.
“Did you two spend the rest of the summer pining over each other?” Kathy asked.
“No. Our separation ended when Kent and I had a fight. It was at the last of the summer and the air was growing cool. I was feeling very sorry for myself. I was a martyr. I felt that I’d given up everything for Kent, but I hadn’t received much in return. I’d begged him to please, please go away with me for a couple of weeks. Just the two of us, but he said he was too busy to leave.”
“Too busy with his other family,” Olivia said. “Been there, done that—except I certainly never begged Alan to spend more time with me.”
“And I never asked Ray to go away with me.” Kathy shuddered at the thought. “He needs lots of action, lots of people. Go on. What happened?”
For a moment, Elise and Olivia stared at her. This wasn’t the impression that Ray had given them. He had insinuated that Kathy wanted to be near her husband every minute of every day.
“What happened?” Kathy repeated.
“I blew up,” Elise said. “Maybe it was because I knew that in a few days Alejandro was returning to Mexico. Diego didn’t need him in the winter, so Alejandro was going home.”
“You might never see him again,” Olivia said.
“That’s what was bothering me. I may have met a man I could love, but he might leave my life forever.”
“Could love?” Kathy said. “Sounds to me like you were heart and soul gone to him.”
“Maybe,” Elise said, “but nothing had changed. I thought about jumping in bed with him, but if I did that, I was afraid that later, after he left, I’d be in even more pain.”
“Some pain is bearable,” Olivia said. “And I think you could have lived with that one.”
Elise nodded. “After all that’s happened and what I know now, I deeply and truly wish I’d sat on his face.”
Kathy’s and Olivia’s laughs deepened and it cleared the air of misery. “So what did you do?” Kathy asked.
“I got angry at Kent and said that he’d spent the whole summer working and I never saw him.”
“And his reply?” Olivia asked.
“He gave me a very hard look and asked me what had happened to make me so needy.”
“Yeow! A bit too close to home,” Kathy said.
“It was. I wanted to scream at him that I’d given up the love of my life for him and he was accusing me of being ‘needy’?”
“And you were,” Olivia said.
“Deeply so, but Kent did nothing to help me. He went off to work that day in anger. And that afternoon, he sent me a text. He said he was bringing home a dozen people for dinner and I was to serve something ‘special.’”
“Punishment,” Olivia said. “Plain, old-fashioned punishment. He’s the grown-up and you’re the little girl and you’re not to make demands on him.”
“You’re right. Yet all I wanted was his arms around me...and comfort. I think that if he’d given me that, then things could have healed between us. But he did nothing.” Elise took a breath. “I went outside, sat down on my little patio, and started crying. I think I was realizing how bad my marriage really was. I don’t think I was loud, but Alejandro heard me.”
Olivia and Kathy were smiling. “The arms you needed.”
“He didn’t touch me. He sat down on the end of the chaise and listened. When he heard about the dinner, he said, ‘Will you let Diego and me fix this?’ All I could do was nod.”
“They made dinner, didn’t they?” Kathy said.
“Yes. All the men who worked for Diego were his relatives and they’d all helped his mother. They took ove
r my kitchen like they were professional chefs.”
“What did they make?” Kathy asked.
“Chicken cordon bleu.”
“I’ve made that,” Olivia said. “Flattened chicken fillets rolled around ham and cheese.”
“I had the chicken breasts in my freezer and while Alejandro thawed them in the microwave, Diego gave a grocery order to the men. We were soon chopping and stirring and tasting.”
“What about you and Alejandro?” Olivia asked.
Elise smiled. “It was like the barren months had never happened. It turned out that he was the cook. Diego was the manager. He told the men to set the table and get out serving bowls. Alejandro and I were at the stove and I followed his directions. It was...” She closed her eyes for a moment. “It was wonderful. All of us were working together and I was part of it. I got shouted at in two languages for doing things wrong—and each time, Alejandro told them in English to back off.”
“Because we have the best curse words,” Kathy said.
“And he can use them!” Elise smiled. “Fifteen minutes before Kent and the guests were to arrive, Alejandro told me to go get dressed for dinner. I was a mess and said I didn’t have enough time. He said that even one minute was more than enough time to make myself into the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Awwwww,” Kathy and Olivia said.
“And he told me to wear red—but more of it than I usually did. Meaning—”
“Your tiny red bikini,” Olivia said. “I like your Alejandro.”
“Me too,” Kathy agreed.
“The dinner party was lovely and delicious. I was in such a good mood that I was an excellent hostess. I entertained and fed them and made sure their wineglasses stayed full.”
“I’m curious as to how Kent reacted to this,” Olivia said.
“He didn’t like it. He was barely above a sulk all evening. And whenever anyone gave me a compliment, he made a snide remark, hinting that I was usually inept. He made it clear that what I’d pulled off that evening was quite unusual for me.”
“Any guest comments?”
Elise smiled. “Oh yes. They took my side. One of the women cut Kent a couple of times. She and I clinked glasses across the table. It was a magical evening.”
“All because of Alejandro,” Kathy said.
“That summer, every laugh, every good happening, was given to me by him.”
Olivia and Kathy looked at each other, then back at Elise. “Was that the last time you saw him before he left the country?”
“Oh no,” Elise said with a grimace. “The next day I managed to make him so angry I thought he was never going to speak to me again—or me him.”
“Anybody want more wine?” Kathy asked. “We may need it because I want to hear every word of this story.”
“Fill ’er up,” Olivia said. They leaned back to listen.
Chapter Ten
As she made dinner, Elise kept looking at the little shopping bag. Kent was going to be very angry when he saw the bill. So far, she hadn’t come up with a plausible explanation. She didn’t think “I wanted to thank one of the gardeners for being so nice to me” would calm him down. She could almost hear him. He’d talk in that kind, patient voice. He was a wise guru and was teaching her about life. “Elise,” he’d say, “you do not buy a five-thousand-dollar gold watch for the gardener. A tip of, say, fifty dollars would be more than sufficient.”
As he lectured, his voice would rise. He’d tell her how she didn’t understand the value of money because she’d never had to earn it. “Everything has always been given to you. My parents and I have had to work for what we have.”
This is where Elise would have to bite her tongue to keep quiet. Her father was the moneymaker. He had an eye for a deal. When he got married, he was aware that his wife was a package deal with her best friend and her husband. Since the foursome got along well, it hadn’t been a burden.
It was Elise’s mother who insisted her new husband give a job to their friends. “So we can buy big houses next door to each other.” Kent’s father was dubbed an executive vice president and put in charge of... Well, no one was sure of what exactly. But he was paid well and the two men were good friends.
Whenever Kent brought up what a hardworking family his was, Elise knew she couldn’t say anything. To stand up to him with the truth made Kent go into a rage—then leave. One time he stayed away for three days.
Tonight she was preparing his favorite meal: meat loaf and mashed potatoes. For all his illustrious ancestry and an Ivy League education, his tastes tended toward the ordinary. Kent’s idea of a good time was a football game and buffalo wings.
She took the meat loaf out of the oven just as she heard his car drive up. She grabbed the shopping bag and shoved it under the pot holders in the towel drawer.
He entered, frowning, and Elise went to him to kiss him hello. “Don’t start on me. I’m not in the mood.”
She stepped away. He’d been this way since the dinner party. Angry, sullen, and as though he was deep in thought about something.
In the past, she would have tried to coax him out of his bad mood, but tonight she didn’t feel like doing that. She went to the kitchen, made herself a plate, then went outside to sit on the little patio to eat alone.
Where was Alejandro? she wondered. In just a few more days, he’d leave to return to his own country. Would he fall in love with some beautiful girl with black hair and a red rose behind her ear? Would he return in the spring or stay there? If Diego had his way, by this time next year, Alejandro would have a new bride and a baby on the way.
She could hear Kent inside the house as he opened drawers and slammed them. He wasn’t used to having to serve himself.
“I have to do something about my life,” she whispered. “Really and truly do something.” Before she was married, she thought that by this time she’d have a child to care for. She’d be one of those dedicated mothers who arranged playdates. She’d be head of the PTA and make sure the other mothers showed up when they were supposed to. She’d—
There were tears running down her cheeks. No children; no job; a husband who could barely stand her. Yet she was constantly being told that she had “everything.”
That night she slept in the second bedroom. She had a fantasy that Kent would come to her and apologize for being “such a beast.” Then he’d make love to her. And in the morning some deep intuition would tell her that she was pregnant.
But he didn’t so much as tap on the door. The next morning she stayed in the room until she heard him leave. He was going to be away for the night and he banged his overnight case against the door frame. It was the first time that she hadn’t packed for him.
When the house was quiet, she left the room and dressed carefully. She put on dark linen pants, a white blouse, and ballet flats. She got the little shopping bag out of the drawer and opened it.
Inside was a gold Cartier watch. It was simple but elegant. When she’d seen it in the shop window, she thought it was like Alejandro. He may seem like an ordinary man, but to her, he was pure gold. She knew she had to give it to him. Something to remember her by. When he wore it, she wanted him to think of her, to close his eyes and remember the laughter they’d shared. Digging together, sitting in her closet while she tossed clothes at his feet, being at the nurseries and pulling wagons full of plants. She wanted to give him something so beautiful that he never forgot her. Even if he married someone else and she never saw him again, she wanted a tiny bit of her heart to be his.
When she left the house with the box bulging in her pocket, she didn’t have to look far for him. He always seemed to stay nearby. In case she fell apart again and was crying? He’d run to rescue her?
First, she went to Diego and invited them to her house at three for a thank-you party.
She didn’t want to keep them after five
so they could go home on time.
Diego said they’d be there but he looked cautious, as though he thought she was up to something—which she was. Elise wanted more time with Alejandro. As much time as she could get.
Finally, she went to Alejandro. “Hi,” she said. He stopped shoveling mulch and smiled at her.
She hadn’t seen him since the dinner party, the night they’d all had so much fun. The night Kent had sulked like a spoiled child. The night that Elise had not played her role of being less than he was.
She looked around to make sure they were alone. “I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me. The party went very well.”
“They liked the food?”
“Very much.”
She sat down on the grass near him and watched as he went back to work. The sun hit his golden-toned skin, glistening off the coal black of his hair.
After a while, he stopped shoveling and turned to her. He didn’t say anything but there was such longing in his eyes that it made her breath catch.
She wanted to go to him, slide into his arms, and never let go. But her whole life of doing what she should and not what she wanted to held her back.
He saw what she was thinking, gave a nod, then he put his shovel into the mulch and withdrew a scoop.
Elise got up and went to stand by him. “I know you’re leaving soon.” She stepped closer. “My Spanish teacher and her grandchildren—mostly the kids—taught me how to cook some Mexican dishes. I told Diego that he and the men are invited to a little party at my house today. At three. Is that all right?”
He put down his shovel and faced her. “Of course. That’s very kind of you.”
His voice was so formal, so distant that it felt as though he’d already left. “I wanted to give you a gift, something special. From me.”
His eyebrows drew together. “A gift?”
She pulled the box out of her pocket and handed it to him.
Taking it, he frowned deeper. He opened the box, barely glanced inside, closed the lid, then shoved it back into her hands. With his shoulders straight, he swiftly walked away from her.
As You Wish Page 12
