by JL Paul
“I can figure out a way to stay with you tonight,” I whispered hoarsely.
He chuckled and kissed me. “I think they’d notice when you don’t return to school—especially because you left with four guys.”
“Fine,” I mumbled, jutting my lower lip.
He squeezed me to his side as he kissed the top of my head. “You ready to go?”
“Jake, can we just stay here, order room service and watch a movie?” I asked, loving the brilliant idea that just came to me. He eyed me suspiciously. “I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
His face relaxed, and he pressed his lips to my temple. “You don’t have to keep your hands totally to yourself. But if you’d rather hang out here with me, then yeah, we’ll do that.”
We ordered food, and I ate every bite under Jake’s watchful eye, then flipped through the pay-per-view movie menu until we found something we both liked. Jake propped up the pillows near the headboard and I snuggled into his arms, resting my cheek on his chest, as we watched the movie.
All too soon, 9:30 approached and Jake held my coat for me. “You have to be back by ten, and I don’t want you to be late.”
I reluctantly allowed Jake to help me with my coat and escort me to my car. “I don’t think I’ll get to see you until after the tour ends in three weeks.”
My heart fell.
“And then what?” I whispered.
He held my chin while a slow smile spread across his face. “Then I’ll be in Chicago for a while, and I’d like it if you came and spent a weekend with me. I want you to meet my dad and my sister.”
My heart flew to the moon and back.
“I’d like that,” I said.
He dipped his head and pressed his lips to mine. I grabbed his jacket as my eyes fluttered shut.
“Goodnight, Iz,” he whispered, pecking me on the cheek. “Be good and call me if you need anything.”
I drove back to school, convincing the tears in my eyes not to fall—I’d see him soon. After I checked in with Admin, I trudged back to my room and gasped as I stood in the doorway.
“Hey, Bella,” Cammy said from her position on my bed. Annie looked up and smiled, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl between them. She turned her attention back to the movie and left me speechless.
To use my newly acquired, still developing potty mouth, what the hell?
Chapter Eighteen
“Um…” I stammered, closing the door, my befuddled mind trying to grasp the scene before me. “What’s up?”
“We thought we’d watch a movie,” Annie said, eyes on the TV. “Want to join us?”
“Sure,” I shrugged, still too freaked out to do much else. I hung up my coat and dragged my desk chair next to the bed. They were watching Prisoner of Azkaban, which was one of my favorites, and it was nearly over. I sat quietly as the melodramatic scene played out before my eyes, though I hardly took heed. I tried to gauge their moods; read their body language. They had the pillows propped against the headboard, giant bowl of popcorn between them. Their legs were stretched out on the bed and crossed at the ankles.
When the credits rolled across the screen, Annie turned the television off and faced me.
“I’m really sorry I didn’t realize what was going on with you, Bella.”
I jumped to my feet and shook my head, my ponytail swinging left and right. “No, Annie. Don’t you dare reconcile with me out of pity. I said some awful things and treated you both like crap. I don’t deserve an easy forgiveness.”
Annie crawled off the bed and stood in front of me. “Maybe, but we certainly didn’t do much when you were with Lance and partying too much. We’re to blame also.”
“I am responsible for my own actions. I realize how stupid I was and how I let Lance talk me into stuff,” I said as I hung my head. “You tried to tell me but I didn’t listen.”
“Yes, you are responsible for your own actions. But any good friend would have tried harder.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Oh, stop it,” Cammy ordered. She crept to the end of the bed and glared at us both. “Stop it right now. We’re all to blame so can we just apologize and forgive each other?”
Annie and I both gazed at each other and nodded. Smiling, Cammy clapped before springing from the bed to hug us both. “Oh, this is so much better!”
We let go of each other and all started talking at once. Annie laughed and pushed me to my bed. She yanked Cammy down next to her on the other one. “Tell us what happened.”
I took a deep breath and explained to them about the parties and Thanksgiving break when I spent the night at Lance’s. I told them about the hotel room and how he broke up with me because I wouldn’t sleep with him.
“Oh, Bella,” Cammy cried. “I’m so sorry.”
I stood so I could pace. “I screwed a lot of things up, I know. I’ve been paying for it, let me tell you, but I want to fix things with us. That’s so very important.”
“We’ll be all right,” Annie promised. “We’ll get there.”
“Of course we will,” Cammy agreed. “Now tell us how you and Jake hooked up!”
I sank back to my bed with a goofy sort of smile plastered to my face. I explained how lonely I was during Christmas break and about Krysti’s phone call. I told them how I drove and drove, ending up on the hill and finally decided to go to Jake. I blushed when I spoke about how he held me and let me cry. I ended my story with how I met the others and my New Year’s Eve kiss.
Annie’s smile was wider than the Grand Canyon. “Didn’t I tell you he wanted you?”
I cracked a grin. “Maybe you were right.” My smile slipped as I told them about all the time I’d spent with him and what happened tonight.
“And it’s frustrating, even though I know he’s right. So I have to wait three weeks until I get to see him again. And I don’t know how I’ll get through it. I mean, it’s awful enough trying to sleep at night because I miss him being here.” I exhaled and slumped my shoulders. Annie and Cammy exchanged a glance. “What?”
“You got it bad,” Annie teased.
“Got what bad?” I asked, totally confused.
“Think about it,” Cammy said. “You two were good friends for a while. When you finally got it together, the sparks were really flying. You can’t stand to be away from him. You think about him all the time, and you totally miss him.”
My jaw fell to the floor as I stared at their smug faces. Oxygen fled my body and my hands flew to my throat. My heart beat tripled as my eyes felt as though they’d jump out of the sockets.
“I love him, don’t I?”
“Sounds like it,” Annie said.
Panic seized me. “But it’s too soon, right?”
“I hate to bring this up, but didn’t you think you were in love with Lance after a short period of time?” Annie asked.
I waved her away. “That wasn’t real. Jake is.” I got up to pace in front of them. “What do I do?”
“Sit back and enjoy it,” Cammy suggested.
“But shouldn’t I tell him?”
Annie laughed and hugged me. “Our sweet Bella is back!”
I edged back and tapped my foot. “You didn’t answer my question!”
“Bella,” Annie began, placing her hands on my shoulders. “When you’re ready and you think the time is right, you’ll tell him.”
Just wonderful. That meant I’d blurt it out at the most inappropriate moment.
***
School, for the most part, was better that week. People still whispered behind their hands when I walked past but no one harassed me like they had those two horrible weeks I’d endured on my own. And now I had Annie and Cammy by my side.
A few people approached me and asked me questions about Jake and the others. I tried to be as polite as possible but couldn’t bring myself to be friendly. These were the same people who’d shunned me and laughed when I tripped and joined in on the insults. I didn’t think I owed them anything.
Lanc
e and his group treated me coldly—like I didn’t exist. That was perfectly fine with me as I wanted nothing more to do with them. The twins still smirked and whispered a little too loudly what a loser I was, but I didn’t care. The only thing I felt that made me a loser was the desperate way I’d wanted to fit in—the way I wanted to belong to their little clique.
Play practice continued, and things were coming along swimmingly. The sets were nearly constructed, costumes were sewn, and everyone was learning their lines. I had mine down already. When you’re a social outcast, you do whatever it takes to make time go by faster.
Jake and I talked just about every night. When we didn’t speak on the phone, we’d email or send text messages. I was desperate to show him that we could make this work even though we were separated. And each time I spoke to him on the phone, my heart would beat so erratically, I just knew he could hear it on his end. I was smitten—totally head over heels. Problem was, did he feel the same? I knew he cared and really liked me, and that was enough for now. I didn’t want to screw things up and scare him away.
The college tour was winding down, and we had a four day weekend a week after that. Jake asked me to spend that weekend with him. He wanted me to meet his family, and that sent a shiver of panic up my spine. I did want to be with him, and I also wanted to meet his family, but I was nervous all the same. Would they like me? Would they approve? I was hardly a movie star, like Monique. I knew Greta, Jake’s sister, was the same age as me. I imagined her being far more sophisticated than I, but I couldn’t imagine her as a snob. She was Jake’s sister, after all.
I discussed my extended weekend plans with my mother. I knew she wouldn’t mind, seeing as she was sort of a free spirit. But she surprised me when she insisted that I bring Jake home that Thursday night so she and my dad could meet him. That was terrifying. I had to screw up my courage to ask Jake but when I did, he agreed.
Valentine’s Day was fast approaching which set me off into another fit of panic. I had no idea what to get him. I’d never had a real boyfriend before on this pesky, over-rated, commercial holiday. Well, except in third grade when Tommy Carrol gave me a homemade valentine and a lizard from his brother’s collection. Talk about true love. I wonder why we ever broke up.
“We’ll go shopping this weekend,” Cammy reassured me. Although she didn’t have a steady boyfriend, she still had plenty of admirers and lots of ideas.
Annie had a pile of loot for Zach and smacked my hand every time I tried to paw through it. All I wanted to do was see if Jake would like any of it so I could run out and buy the same thing.
“Be original,” Annie chastised.
So we hit the mall in Portfield exactly one week before V-Day. We nicknamed Valentine’s Day V-Day because the girls were tired of me calling it VD. I thought it was quite clever myself, because I heard some of the girls at school carrying on about their V-Day plans—blushing in my stall in the bathroom—and I was certain they might contract an STD. Annie and Cammy told me that was disgusting. It was, I agreed, but it was also funny. They have no sense of humor.
We walked around the mall for an hour, me growing more and more frustrated. Annie spotted a lingerie store and dragged me inside kicking and screaming. My face was scorching, and I prayed no one from school would see me.
Racks and racks of bras, panties and nighties with red and pink hearts lined the front of the store. I gawked at them, wondering who would want to wear such things.
“This is hilarious,” Annie giggled. I turned to find her standing near a V-Day display. I peeked over her shoulder and gasped.
“What is that stuff?” I whispered, glancing left and right.
“It’s hot oil massage,” she said with a shrug. “You warm it in your hands and rub it on your lover’s back. It’s supposed to be relaxing.”
“Is that stuff even legal?” I demanded, eyes so wide they dried out in a second.
Cammy wandered over and took the bottle from Annie’s hands. “Oh, my parents have some of this stuff. I saw it in their bathroom.
“Ew. Thanks for that,” I muttered in disgust and hurried away. I didn’t want to get caught looking at stuff like that. And I wasn’t going to let Annie even attempt to talk me into buying it, either.
“Jake would think it’s funny,” Annie called out to me.
“No, you would think it’s funny how embarrassed I would be,” I said, eyes narrowed, daring her to challenge me. She shrugged and set it back on the shelf.
“Oh how adorable!” I heard Cammy exclaim from somewhere in the store. My heart pounded as I closed my eyes and groaned. What now?
I pushed through the racks and found her standing near a bin of stuffed bears. She held a fluffy white one to her chest. She smiled at me and held it up for my inspection. It was dressed in a t-shirt, holding a guitar and had a red, white and blue bandana on its head, just like Jake wore in one of his videos.
I grabbed it skeptically and frowned. “There’s nothing…you know…embarrassing on this thing, is there?”
“No,” Cammy said as she took it from me. She pointed at the t-shirt. “Did you read it? Isn’t it adorable?”
The black shirt had big red letters that spelled out ‘You Rock My World.’ It was very cheesy, to say the least, but also strangely perfect. I had to buy it for him. It would give Ronnie something to tease him about.
“I found something else,” Annie said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She held up a slinky red nightie with spaghetti straps. “I bet Jake would love this.”
I gaped like a fish, struggling for breath, face turning the same shade as the nightie. “That would never fit him!” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Do you know something about Jake that you’re not telling me?”
“No,” Annie laughed. “It’s not for him to wear, you idiot, it’s for you to wear for him.”
My mouth formed a perfect O as I gawked at the offending thing. “I…oh no…Annie! I can’t wear that! I…we’ve never…” I stuttered. I tried to snatch it from her hands but she moved it out of my reach.
“If you don’t buy it, I will, and I’ll send it to him.”
I knew she’d do it. I knew she’d have no qualms whatsoever. She had his cell number, and all she had to do was call and ask him where to send it.
With a sigh, I yanked it out of her hands. “Fine, I’ll buy the stupid thing.”
I hid it carefully and hurried to the counter before Annie could find something else embarrassing for me to buy. I paid with cash, even though I did have a credit card. My parents kept track of my statements and I definitely didn’t want a charge from this place on the bill.
We finished shopping, grabbed some junk food and headed back to school where we vegged in our room. Annie had moved back in, though we sort of rotated so we all stayed in the same room. I wanted to call Jake, but a glance at the clock told me that he was on stage and a voice message just wasn’t enough for me tonight.
I didn’t know how long I’d been dozing when my cell rang. I squinted at the clock; it was close to one in the morning, and answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Hey, angel, did I wake you?” Jake asked.
A smile flew to my face and a soft sigh escaped my lips. “Hi, Jake. No, you didn’t wake me.” I yawned and he chuckled. “Where are you?”
“Texas. Our manager booked another lame after party, and I’m trying to sneak out so I can go back to my room.” I could hear voices behind him including a woman’s loud laughter.
“Make sure those women know you’re taken,” I ordered in a firm, sleepy tone.
“Don’t worry, Iz,” Jake laughed. “I’ll fight them off.” I snorted and his tone softened. “I mean it, angel, don’t worry. You’re the only one I want.”
“Okay,” I squeaked, my heart flipping over and over.
“Everything still going well?” he asked.
“Yeah. We went shopping today. It was interesting.”
“I bet,” he laughed. “I’m glad things are
going good with you three again. It makes me feel a lot better knowing you’re not alone.”
“Me, too,” I agreed as I yawned again. Loudly.
“Get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow from the bus. We’re hitting the road again in the morning. Only a couple more shows, and I’ll be back in Chicago.”
“Will do. Be safe.”
“Night, angel.”
I sighed happily as I ended the call.
“You’re so smitten,” Annie mumbled in the dark.
“I know.” I closed my eyes, Jake in my head and a smile on my face.
***
The next week at school was nothing short of pure torture. Everywhere I went, girls were going on and on about what they hoped their boyfriends, crushes, secret admirers or stalkers were going to get them. They chattered excitedly about romantic dinners and bouquets of flowers. It was enough to gag me.
I’d mailed the bear and a card I’d gotten for Jake to an address outside of Chicago. I wasn’t sure if the address he gave me belonged to his dad or to one of the guys. I didn’t much care as long as Jake was the one who opened it and not someone else. I didn’t send him the nightie, of course, but it was still a little embarrassing.
Valentine’s Day dawned snowy and windy. It was a perfect day to stay snuggled under the comforter and not jump out of bed, and since it was a Saturday, that was what I’d intended to do. I’d always considered V-Day to be a stupid holiday made up so people would spend all their money on flowers, candy and cards. But this year, I really wanted to be with Jake somewhere, anywhere, I didn’t care. I hated being stuck at school while he was in a bus across country. Since there was no possible way I could be with him, I just wanted to sleep the entire day away. He wasn’t kidding when he said it would be hard.
“Get up, Bella,” Annie yelled, tugging on my pillow. I held it tighter and rolled over, away from her. “I mean it! Come on, let’s go eat.”
