Luka finally agreed and all but collapsed into his chamber.
Despite knowing it was futile, I tried to get Stella to slather some more renewal gel on me and call it good. She cocked her head and pointed at the next med chamber, injector brandished like a weapon. The doctor that usually ran this medical unit had given up on helping and just watched her with open-mouthed shock.
I held up my hands. “Fine, fine. Just get me minimally healed, you don’t need to worry about the scarring.”
“Do I tell you how to do your job?” she growled.
“Yes, as a matter of fact. All the time.”
“Get in the med chamber before I forget that I like you,” she said with a scowl. “You have until I’m done here, then I’m sedating you.” She turned to Valentin. “If you want to help, cut off the base layer she’s wearing.” She handed him a pair of scissors, then closed the privacy curtain around Luka’s chamber and disappeared from view.
Valentin helped me up onto the med chamber’s bed, then wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” he murmured. “For a while there…”
He trailed off, but I knew exactly what he meant. There for a while, our survival was pretty iffy.
I hugged him back, even though it made my arm burn. “Same to you. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m out. I already made Ari promise to sit on you if you try anything dangerous.”
He pulled back. “Does that sound like me?”
“Yes.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m going to be here until you’re okay, so don’t worry about me.”
“I will always worry about you,” I whispered. “I love you.”
A tender smile touched his mouth. “I love you, too.” He waggled his eyebrows and held up the scissors. “Now let’s get you naked.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next couple of days passed in a blur. Soteras’s troops had captured all of the traitor’s ships, and then the entire Quint fleet had disappeared as quickly as they’d appeared. Imogen had been released from medical after a day and a half in a med chamber. And true to form, she’d spent ten minutes berating me for leaving her behind. Eddie had returned from Koan with Ardia.
And through it all, I barely saw Valentin because he was in constant meetings, both with the leadership of CP57 and with his advisors back home. Even Chairwoman Soteras had reached out for a meeting. I hoped Valentin planned to grill her on how Adams had gotten access to so many Quint ships.
Valentin and I both needed to return home soon, but I kept putting off the conversation because I didn’t know when I’d get to see him again. The peace talks were accelerating, which was good news, but it meant he was buried in work.
And sometimes, in the quiet moments, I wondered if Adams truly was dead, or if I’d just tricked myself into believing it. I’d never had this worry after a kill contract, but I’d also never had so much riding on the outcome. When I’d confessed my worry to Ari, she’d sent me a photo she’d taken with her armor’s camera.
Adams was completely and irrevocably dead.
I was celebrating that fact with a glass of Valentin’s whisky when he surprised me by arriving early. We’d returned to the rooms I’d rented, even though Sawya had offered to put us up in their tower in Block 1.
We’d politely declined. At least here we had some illusion of privacy.
“Everything okay?” I asked when Valentin sank onto the sofa next to me.
He sighed and poured himself a splash of whisky. “I have to return to Koan.”
I knew it was bound to happen soon, but hearing it still stole my breath. I sipped my drink and gathered my thoughts.
He turned and met my eyes. Quietly, he said, “Come with me.”
I wanted to. I wanted to so much. But I had my own responsibilities. And while they were not as vast as his, they were no less important. I shook my head. “I can’t. I’ve been away from Arx for too long already. I need to check in, especially because the most trusted members of my advisory council are here with me.”
He sighed again, deeply. “I was afraid you’d say that, but I selfishly hoped I was wrong.”
“Before, you said you’d be willing to discuss splitting our time between Arx and Koan. Is that still something you’d consider?”
“Yes, but with the treaty negotiations starting in earnest, I need to spend the majority of my time in Koan, and that’s not fair to you. Maybe we could spend our weekends together and swap cities every weekend until things quiet down. I know it’s not ideal, but—”
I set my glass aside and pressed my lips to his. He groaned and pulled me closer. The slide of his tongue against mine sent shivers all the way to my toes. I lost myself in the simple pleasure of kissing.
By the time he pulled back, we were both breathing hard.
“We will make it work,” I said. “We each have things that need to be taken care of, so weekends are a good place to start. And it’s only a single tunnel transit between the two cities. If we spend a night together here or there, no one will be the wiser.”
His eyes lit, and he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. “I do enjoy the way your brain works.”
“And then, once the war is over, we can make some more permanent decisions, if I’m still queen.”
“What do you mean?” he demanded. “Why wouldn’t you be?”
I smiled softly at his outrage. “While I’ll always try to put the Rogue Coalition first, I’m no longer impartial. My people made me queen, and they deserve to know what’s going on. I’m going to hold a vote to see if they want to appoint a new leader.”
He looked at me in shock. “You would step aside?”
“I would. It would hurt, and I would feel a little lost afterwards, but my people have been through enough. I don’t want to add to their hurt. I would do my best to steer them toward a good successor, but ultimately, the decision is up to them.”
“What do you think they’ll do?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I dropped my eyes and asked the question I secretly worried about. “Will you be disappointed if I’m no longer a queen?”
Valentin thought about his answer for a long moment. “I would be disappointed for you,” he said at last, “because you enjoy it and you’re good at it. Otherwise, I could not care less. I love you, not your title. And, selfishly, it would be far easier for us to be together if you weren’t queen, but I will never ask you to give up something you love just to make my life easier.”
His expression turned wistful and haunted. “Sometimes I wish that Father hadn’t altered the succession,” he admitted. “I know it’s awful of me, because the war would likely continue under Nikolas’s rule, but part of me still wishes I could walk away. So, no, I won’t mind if you aren’t a queen.”
“You wouldn’t walk away if you people still needed you,” I murmured.
He sighed. “No, I wouldn’t, which is why I’d never ask you to give up being queen.”
“You say the nicest things,” I murmured. “When do you need to leave?”
“Soon. The ship arrived this morning, so it’s ready to go.”
“Then you probably need to pack. I’ll help. Let’s start in our bedroom.”
“I already—” He bit off the rest of what he was going to say when he caught my significant look. “Yes,” he amended hastily, “that is an excellent idea.”
I laughed. “I thought you’d see it that way.”
Valentin stood at the door of his ship’s docking tunnel. It wasn’t his personal ship because he didn’t trust anyone else to fly Korax. This ship was small and sleek, designed to ferry passengers with limited cargo between systems. It was berthed next to Ardia.
Luka stood next to the hatch, conversing quietly with Imogen.
Valentin lingered, and I let him because I didn’t want him to go any more than he did. Once he disappeared into the ship, I likely wouldn’t see him in person for almost a week. Maybe more if some new disaster befell eit
her of us—which, with the way things had gone recently, wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility.
“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered. “I’ll visit you this weekend.”
My heart twisted. I’d expected it to be difficult, but I hadn’t expected it to be this difficult. Every cell shouted that I shouldn’t let him go. “I’ll look forward to it. Get the treaty hammered out while Soteras is willing to talk because I’ll be a wreck if we have to keep doing this for a year.”
Valentin chuckled without humor. “You and me both.”
I kissed him, slow and deep, focusing on the pleasure and not the coming pain. When I reluctantly drew away, Valentin’s hands clenched against my back before he released me. “I’ll see you soon,” I vowed.
He swallowed and nodded wordlessly, then turned and entered the docking tunnel with Luka without a backward glance. I understood. I pivoted away before I had to watch him disappear. It wasn’t forever, but it still hurt.
Ari watched me with a sympathetic expression. “Ready to go?”
“No,” I admitted, “but I suppose it’s time anyway.” We’d already packed everything on our ships, and Ari had sent her Rogue Coalition ship back to Arx ahead of us. She, Stella, and Imogen would ride along with me in Ardia. Eddie was waiting for us to launch, then he, too, would return to Arx in his ship.
I hadn’t told any of them that I planned to let the people vote on my future. I needed to let at least Ari and Stella know before I approached the entire council. Their reaction would guide my path forward.
Imogen bumped her shoulder against mine. “The weekend isn’t so far away,” she said gently.
Ari’s mouth curved into a teasing grin. “Are you hoping that a scowling, ice-capped mountain shows up along with the emperor?”
Imogen didn’t even try to hide her smile as she dipped her chin in agreement.
“How do you handle it?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “My family is in the transport business, and then I joined the military, so I’m used to people I care about coming and going. You make the most of your time together, and while the partings are painful, they make the homecomings sweeter. And Koan and Arx aren’t exactly that far apart. If you get lonely, you can just pop over for dinner.”
Ari narrowed her eyes. “And why do I get the feeling that you’ll happily volunteer to accompany our queen on these hypothetical little jaunts?”
Imogen gave an exaggerated sigh. “If I must, then I must.”
We all broke into laughter and some of my sadness melted away. It was likely their plan all along, but I didn’t begrudge them. I was lucky to have such good friends.
“Thank you,” I murmured. Then I turned toward Ardia’s docking tunnel. “Let’s go before Stella decides to rearrange medical on my brand-new ship.”
Ari laughed. “It might be too late.”
We boarded the ship—with medical still in one piece, thankfully—and headed to the bridge. Ari and Stella, who’d only caught a glimpse while on our way to Implacable, whistled in appreciation. “You weren’t kidding about this ship being nice,” Ari said. “You need to lock the emperor down.”
“About that,” I said, then stalled out.
Stella raised her eyebrows. “Do you have something to share with the class?”
“Valentin and I are going to try to make a relationship work.”
All three of them rolled their eyes. “I hate to break it to you,” Stella said drily, “but that’s not exactly news.”
“I’m going to hold a referendum to see if the people want to appoint a new leader.”
Stunned silence fell.
Imogen recovered first. “What?”
“The Rogue Coalition doesn’t get a say in my relationship, but they do get a say in who leads them. I will understand if my relationship with a foreign sovereign makes people uneasy.”
“You’ll be wasting your time,” Ari said. “No one will ask you to leave.”
“You’re hardly an impartial judge,” I said with a gentle smile.
“Are you going to sell us out to Kos or Quint?” she persisted. When I shook my head, she nodded. “Hold the vote, if it’ll make you feel better, but don’t be surprised when the outcome is wildly in your favor.”
“Once the war is over, Valentin and I plan to split time between Koan and Arx. The people deserve someone who can devote all of their time to the job.” I looked at the three of them. “I don’t suppose…”
“Not even for all of the chocolate in the universe,” Stella muttered. Ari and Imogen silently agreed.
That was the problem. Most of the people who wanted the job shouldn’t have it, and the perfect candidates didn’t want it at all. I hadn’t really wanted it, either, but my rusty conscience had groaned to life, and the responsibility slowly fell on my shoulders. Still, I’d fucked it up plenty in the early days.
“Think about it,” I said as I slid into the captain’s chair. “I’d feel better about stepping aside if I knew that I was leaving our people in good hands.”
“You will be,” Ari said. “Yours.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Arx had weathered my absence with barely a ripple. My entire council, including the three elected officials, had agreed with Ari that a vote was unnecessary, but I pushed for one anyway. I wanted the people to have their voices heard.
The referendum was just to see if people wanted a new leader—selecting that leader would come later. Because it was a single-issue vote and all of my citizens could vote remotely from wherever they were, the date was set for two weeks after we returned from CP57.
I recorded a video stating my case: I was in a relationship with Valentin Kos, which impacted my impartiality. Once the war was over, I planned to split time between Arx and Koan. I would always put the Rogue Coalition first, but I would understand if people wanted new leadership. If a simple majority passed the referendum, then I would start the process of electing a new leader.
Never mind that the Rogue Coalition was young enough that electing someone new had never been done before.
I asked Valentin’s permission before making our relationship public, and he enthusiastically agreed. That should’ve made me suspicious, but I was just glad to be able to release the video and call it done.
For two weeks, I was headline news in both the Rogue Coalition and the Kos Empire, much to my embarrassment and Valentin’s eternal delight.
He and I were starting to get the hang of a long-distance relationship. The first weekend, he came to Arx, and then I joined him in Koan for the second. It wasn’t ideal, but we made it work—especially because we’d each snuck over for a mid-week dinner and sleepover during the week.
But today was election day, and it wasn’t anywhere near a weekend. I missed Valentin. We’d chatted earlier, and I’d assured him that I was fine.
I’d lied.
I had blocked myself from checking the results, which were tallied in real-time but weren’t released to the public until after the voting day closed. Instead, I stalked through Arx, trying to keep my mind off the vote—and thinking about nothing else. Everyone gave me a wide berth, and I couldn’t decide if it was because they were guilty about voting me out or because I couldn’t stop scowling. Maybe both.
Ari found me prowling through the dark half of the market. The market had grown on the former base’s parade grounds, and it was the largest gathering space we had. Panels overhead mimicked the sky, but we only kept the front half on because we didn’t need the whole space.
In the lit half, a few solid buildings—like the bakery—had sprung up, but most of the smaller stalls leaned against one another, built with whatever materials the builder could scavenge. The narrow pathways in the unlit half let me prowl around without feeling like I was under a microscope.
“Hiding?” Ari asked with a smile.
My scowl bounced right off her, so I kept walking.
She fell into step beside me. “Do you want to know how you’re doing?”
<
br /> I sighed. “Do you think I’d be hiding if I wanted to know?”
“You’re worrying for nothing. Election day is half over and nearly three-quarters of people have already voted. Unless every future vote is in favor of changing leadership, you’re easily in the clear.”
That didn’t bring the relief I thought it would. My feelings were a jumble, but I couldn’t help but ask, “Is it close?”
“No. If the current ratio continues, you’ll coast through with over 80 percent approval. People are happy, and it’s thanks to you. They trust you to look out for them.”
My brain, being how it was, immediately jumped to the 20 percent who were unhappy.
Ari glanced at me. “Nope,” she said with a pointed look. “You’re not going to focus on negatives. You’re winning by a landslide.”
She knew me too well.
“I thought I’d be relieved, and I am, but I’m also…” I trailed off. I wasn’t sure what I was, exactly.
“Disappointed?” Ari asked gently.
I stopped walking and sighed. “Something like that. And worried. Being queen makes it harder for Valentin and me to be together, but I care about all of the Rogue Coalition’s citizens, and don’t want to leave. It’s a mess.”
“You’ll figure it out.” She waved a hand. “And if worse comes to worst, make some imperial proclamations or something.”
I grinned. “I see. You just want me to be murdered in my sleep by Valentin’s angry citizens.”
“A few assassination attempts will only spice things up,” she said with an exaggerated wink.
I broke into laughter, as she’d intended, and it was exactly what I’d needed. “Thank you,” I said when I could talk again.
Her smile was kind. “Someone has to look after you. Speaking of, where’s Valentin?”
“He had a lot of important meetings today. It seems like now that Adams is out of the picture, Chairwoman Soteras is moving forward with negotiations. Or maybe she captured more traitors than I thought at CP57. Either way, I assured Valentin that I was fine and told him not to come.”
The Queen’s Triumph (Rogue Queen) Page 18
