“He marked you.” He looked up at me, his face a mask of fury and despair. His eyes gleamed gold, the irises gone wolflike. Against my skin, I felt human fingernails elongate into claws. “He fucking marked you!” The words escaped as an inhuman snarl. Caleb shoved away from me. Fur burst from his skin and his face elongated into a fanged muzzle. It was nothing like the shift he’d shown me before. This was savage and uncontrolled. It looked broken and… wrong.
He doubled over as he backed away from me, a vicious snarl tearing from his throat.
“Caleb—”
He crashed into the table, sending one of the chairs flying, and fell to the floor. When he hit the ground, he was fully in wolf form. He lunged to his feet, eyes wild and rolling. He didn’t look like Caleb anymore. There was no sign of the man I knew gleaming in those feral eyes. He snarled, and it turned into a shrill, hair-raising howl that seemed to reverberate inside my head like a scream.
Was he still in there? Was he still Caleb?
The big wolf surged towards the door, throwing his body against it so hard the walls rattled. The door didn’t budge. He raked his claws over it and then threw himself at it again, and again. He was going to break the door down, and I was going to be left here with no heat and no protection. I had to risk getting close to him.
Hugging the wall, I crept to towards the door while Caleb’s silver wolf thrashed and snarled. Staying as far away as I could, I reached out and twisted the handle. The door popped open, and Caleb shoved through it, disappearing into the woods. I could hear his crazed howling for a long time. Other wolves nearby joined the chorus until I was surrounded by their eerie, ululating cries.
I slammed the door shut and clapped my hands over my ears, sinking to the floor. The coldness that had been slowly fading from my bones snapped back with a vengeance. Curling in on myself, I stayed that way for long minutes, heart pounding, body trembling, sick with fear.
After several minutes—or hours, I had no way of knowing—I drew my trembling hands away from my ears. Outside, everything was quiet. The sun was getting low, sending long shadows through the forest surrounding the cabin. Letting out a shaky breath, I got to my feet. I went to my bag and dug around until I found my compact mirror. Sitting at a kitchen chair, I propped my leg up and angled the mirror to try and see what Caleb had seen.
There—high on the inside of my thigh—was a stark white scar, shaped like a human bite, with deep punctures where the eyeteeth were. The mirror slipped from my nerveless fingers and fell to the floor. Glass tinkled as it shattered.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
When the door opened, the sun had set, and I was sitting in the pitch dark, knees drawn to my chest, trembling from the cold.
“Grace?” Caleb’s voice was cautious as he stepped inside. Of course it was. I’d been marked by a vampire. Obviously that was really, really bad, or Caleb wouldn’t have freaked out and run away.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice like gravel. “I didn’t know.”
Caleb made a distressed noise. “Gracie, no.” I sensed his body approaching me, crouching in front of me. “Don’t apologize.” His hand cupped my cheek and it was so warm I flinched away. Caleb drew in a sharp breath. “You’re like ice.”
He moved away from me and I heard the ladder creak. A second later, he was back, wrapping the bed’s queen size comforter around me. He moved away again, and the heat register made a heavy clunk as he cranked up the thermostat. A second later, a lamp clicked and soft light filled the cabin.
“Have you eaten?” Caleb asked, moving to look at the pot on the stovetop. It’d been simmering the whole time he was gone. How long had he been gone? Was it burnt beyond recognition?
“I’m not hungry,” I said. My voice sounded like a ghost’s.
Caleb turned the burner off and came back to me. Something crunched under his foot and he swore. “What the—glass? What happened?” He bent to pick up the shattered compact.
“I was trying to see it…”
Caleb’s face clouded. He looked down, staring at the shards of glass.
“I’m sorry I left you alone,” he said in a low voice. “I… I haven’t lost control to the wolf in a long time.” He stood up and brought the broken glass to the garbage.
“What’s going to happen to me now?” I asked, shaking so hard my teeth were chattering.
Caleb came back and flipped the comforter open. He picked me up and his skin burned like fire. I hissed and recoiled, but there was no escaping his strength. He wrapped the comforter around us both, and sank into the chair, holding me against his chest.
“The same thing that was always going to happen,” he said, tightening his arms around me as I twisted away from the inferno of his touch. “You’re going to stay here while we hunt down the strigoi. Once we destroy him, you and I can go back to The Spruce—but I’m hoping that won’t be for too long.”
My heart seemed to stop. He wants me to leave.
“I’ve been thinking about buying George Prouse’s old place,” Caleb continued. “It’s just outside of Longtooth, upriver a bit. Maybe this is too soon to ask, but whenever you feel ready, I hope you’ll move in with me.”
I blinked. “What?”
Caleb scrubbed a hand over his face. “I knew it was too soon. Forget I asked. I’ll wait a normal amount of time and ask you then.” He paused thoughtfully. “What would a normal amount of time be, do you think?”
“You don’t want me to leave?”
Caleb looked at me as if I’d turned into a tap-dancing frog. “Haven’t I been pretty clear about wanting you to stay?”
“I’m… I’m not turning into a vampire?”
Caleb’s face fell. “Is that what you thought? Fuck, Grace, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I left you.” He clutched me tightly to him, dropping his forehead to rest against mine. “No, honey, you’re human. You’re staying human.”
“Why were you so angry then? Why’d you shift? Why’d you run away?”
Caleb cupped my cheek, stroking his hand over my skin. Slowly, his warmth leeched into me, thawing the brittle cold. “I am the wolf, and the wolf is me, but sometimes, we have different ideas about how to handle things. When I saw the mark on you, the wolf got so angry, he needed to find and kill that fucking strigoi. I couldn’t hold him back.” He let out a weak laugh. “I haven’t lost control like that since I was a kid.”
“Oh.” Warmth flooded into me. I relaxed against Caleb’s hold. “Is it dangerous when the wolf takes over?” I asked.
“Never to you,” Caleb said fervently. “You never need to fear me. Man or wolf, Grace, I would never do anything to hurt you.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Except run off like a lunatic, apparently. I must’ve gone about ten miles before I managed to get control back.”
We sat in silence, huddled together, not moving, not speaking. The snapping cold vanished from my bones, my heart steadied, and the trembling eased from my limbs. My stomach suddenly growled, breaking the contemplative quiet. Caleb lifted his head, a small smile tugging one corner of his mouth.
“I might be hungry now,” I said.
“Stay here.” He set me on the chair and went to fix bowls for us both. He returned to the table and sat across from me, watching intently as I ate.
“What does the mark mean?” I asked.
Caleb paused, picking his words. “It’s a way of claiming you. It keeps other strigoi from feeding on you. It marks you as… his mate.”
I froze, spoon halfway to my mouth.
“They can feed without leaving scars. But the victims they want to turn—to make like them—they put a claim mark on them.”
“His mate? Like his… wife?”
“In a way. Although, in general, a woman has to consent to marriage before she becomes a wife. With strigoi, they can just take you.”
“So he… took me? Am I…” I shook my head. I didn’t know what I was asking. All I knew was that I was afraid.
“He didn’t take you. The claim is only sol
idified when he changes you—makes you strigoi, too. But you’re human, and alive. Once we kill him, the mark will go away.”
“What happens if he changes me?”
“He won’t,” Caleb snarled. He cleared his throat, relaxed his shoulders. “He won’t,” he said more gently. “But for people who are marked and then changed, they’re bound to their strigoi sire like a slave.”
“Are they all evil? If I was turned would I become evil?”
His hand clenched on his spoon. He clearly had to stop himself from telling me that I was never going to be turned. “There are myths about strigoi who live off animal blood instead of human, but I don’t know how much stock can be put in them.”
“There are myths about werewolves,” I said, “And I used to think there was no stock in them.”
Caleb smiled. “True.”
“So if I were turned, there’s a chance I wouldn’t be evil.”
“You won’t turn!” Caleb’s words turned into an inhuman growl. Black claws shot from his fingertips. He closed his eyes, bracing his hand flat on the table. Slowly, the claws receded. He took a steadying breath and opened his eyes. His irises were still wolfish gold. “If I run off again, Grace, it’s just to murder a strigoi—not because of anything you did, okay?”
I nodded, eyes wide. “Is this normal, or should we call someone for help? Should Anna take a look at you?”
Caleb smiled wryly. “It’s not normal, but it’s not something a healer can fix. What is, is embarrassing. A grown man, losing to his wolf…” He shook his head at himself and took another bite of stew.
“So adults never lose control?”
“I wouldn’t say never. Arthur wolfed out every time Natasha went into labor. Wade famously wolfed in front of tourists when his daughter called to tell him she was pregnant. Happened right in the post office. That took some… creative explaining. Margaret was livid.” Caleb chuckled. He thought for a moment, his expression sobering. “After my dad left, my mom was stuck in her wolfskin for nearly a month.”
I reached out and laid my hand on his, still pressed flat to the table. It wasn’t lost on me that each and every one of those cases was over someone they loved. And Caleb’s wolf had taken over… for me. I lifted my eyes to his. The wolf was still looking out of his eyes, golden and feral. But all that ferocity was not because of me. It was for me.
I closed my hand around his and stood up, tugging him with me.
“Where are we going?” he asked, dropping his spoon into his bowl as he rose from his chair.
“To bed.”
“Are you sure?” he asked gently. “You’ve had a rough—”
I swung back to face him and pulled his head down to mine, silencing him with a kiss. “Let’s show your wolf why he needs to leave the man with me.” I kissed him again, long and deep and hard.
When we broke apart, Caleb’s breath was a little ragged. “Grace,” he breathed my name, and I loved the way it came out as reverently as a prayer.
We climbed up to the bed and surged together like a crashing wave. I let go of all the fear, all the worry, all the doubt, and lost myself in the feel of Caleb—in the strength of him holding me, in the warmth of him surrounding me, in the pleasure of him touching me. I put my heart into my flesh and gave it over to him. And when we spun into obliterating climax, I never lost the anchor that tethered me to him.
We lay in each other’s arms, drowsy and content. I wanted to stay like this forever. I never wanted to leave him.
I loved him.
The realization hit me like a thunderclap. I sat bolt upright.
I loved him.
“Grace?” Caleb asked, instantly alert.
How long had I loved him? Since we first slept together? Since the first time he kissed me? Or had it started even before that—when I thought he hated me. Because even then, he was safe and reliable and principled. He’d defended me from his own family—his pack—when Isaac had slobbered on me at the Blue Moose. He’d checked on me when he found me crying in my truck, even though he thought I was a nuisance. He’d tried to be kind to me after I confessed why I’d moved to Alaska, even though he still hadn’t trusted me. Caleb might not be the nicest man in the world, but he was a good man. He was steady and kind and he made me laugh, and I even enjoyed bickering with him.
And Caleb wasn’t the only one I loved. I loved Margaret and Natasha and Jess and Wade. I loved the Valley for its beauty, for its serenity, and I loved the people who lived here. God, I think I even loved that ornery asshole, Harry Lance.
“Grace?” Caleb leaned over me, worried now, trying to get me to look at him.
I lifted my gaze to his. “I love you,” I said simply.
The feral golden glow came back into his eyes and his expression turned fierce, but before he could speak, I doubled over. Warmth exploded through my chest. It was more than the delicious heat of Caleb’s touch. This came from inside me, and it burst outward like a supernova, filling me with glowing contentment, a feeling of total safety. I gasped, disoriented, but Caleb was there, holding onto me. And when the overwhelming headiness cleared, the warm glow remained. I looked up at Caleb in wonder.
“Grace,” he said, voice full of wonder. “You’re here.”
Outside, a chorus of howls filled the air—and with some strange innate sense that I’d never noticed before, I knew exactly who they were. Maxim Freeman. Jess Taaltsiyh. Connor Ankkonisdoy. And then that sense expanded outward, and I felt all of them—a warm, comforting presence. Like Caleb had told me, they weren’t in my head. I couldn’t speak to them, feel their feelings, or hear their thoughts. It was more like the subtle awareness of your family’s presence in different rooms of the house. Except this family was huge, and the “house” was spread across miles.
The ecstatic howls died away outside, and the awareness of the pack faded to the back of my mind, and then it was just me and Caleb, alone in each other’s arms.
“I love you,” I told him again, just because I could.
He pulled me tightly against him, crushing his mouth against mine. “I love you,” he said against my lips. “God, I love you.” His mouth moved to my throat, trailing hot kisses to the curve where my shoulder met my neck. “I want to claim you, Grace.” He bit down gently. “But there’s no going back. Will you take my claim?”
I stiffened. “A bite… to claim?”
Caleb froze. He pulled back carefully. “It’s nothing like the strigoi. A wolf’s claim is about love, not ownership. The mark wouldn’t last if you didn’t accept it.”
I relaxed against him. “Will it leave a permanent mark?”
“Yes. It’s very permanent, Grace. If I claim you, if you accept my claim, there’ll never be anyone else for me.”
I let out a small breath. “That’s a big risk.”
“I want to take it.” He held my gaze, searching my eyes for the sign he wanted.
“Not yet,” I said softly.
The light dimmed in his eyes. “I understand,” he said, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling. “It’s too much, too soon.”
“That’s not it,” I said, cupping his jaw, making him turn and look me in the eye. “I plan to accept your claim, Caleb Kinoyit.”
The gleam rekindled in his eyes.
“But not until Alex is no longer a threat.”
Caleb frowned. “Why? Do you still have some kind of feelings—”
“No! No. I stopped having feelings for him long before I left him. And then after I left—when he wouldn’t let me leave—the only feelings that remained were hatred and fear. I only have feelings for you.” I leaned in and kissed him softly. “But if you take this permanent step with me, and then something happens to me—”
A snarl wrenched from Caleb’s throat. His eyes flashed pure gold and fur broke out over his body. He shook his head hard, holding me tight to him. The fur receded back to human skin. He blinked, and his eyes looked mostly human. “Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said gruffly. “I
’ll die before—”
I pressed my hand over his mouth. “No you won’t. If nothing can happen to me, then nothing can happen to you either, understand?”
His gaze burned into mine and he nodded.
“When all of this is over—when we can go back to normal life without looking over our shoulders all the time—I’ll accept your claim.”
“And I’ll accept yours,” Caleb said.
“Mine? I’m not wolf-kin.”
“You’re pack. You can claim your mate.”
“How?”
“Same as I do it. With a bite.”
I stared at him, a slow smile tugging at my lips. The idea of biting him, marking him as mine, had such a primitive appeal. The urge to do it right that instant was almost overwhelming.
“You feel it now?” Caleb asked with a knowing grin.
I nodded, not quite able to speak.
“Still think you can wait?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
His grin only widened.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
After that, every time we had sex, the compulsion to bite my claim into his skin accompanied every orgasm. Kisses somehow always turned into bites—each one a little harder than the next, until I had to step away from him entirely, or lose control and put my mark on him right then and there.
In the mornings, Caleb shifted into his wolfskin and ran tracks with the others while I sat in the cabin and knitted or read. In the evenings, Caleb and I ate and talked and made love so often the insides of my thighs were getting chafed. Jess showed up one afternoon with more food sent by Natasha. Caleb and I had to hastily dress and when she stepped inside the cabin her nose wrinkled and she looked at us both with knowing dismay.
“You could’ve just told me to leave it outside the door,” she said.
I flushed bright red, but Caleb just laughed.
Despite the happiness of being with Caleb, the spectre of Alex was omnipresent, and his continued evasion was like the winding gear on a jack-in-the-box. Eventually, something had to give, and the tension was becoming unbearable.
Cold Hearted: An Alaskan Werewolf Romance Page 23
