His mate was pressed against the doors of his quarters, trembling with need in his arms, seemingly unable to speak. Long moments of silence passed between them as he matched her breathing, matched her emotions, and waited for her to act.
When she didn’t speak or move at all, even when he kissed her repeatedly, Dorian started imagining himself tearing off her clothes with his bare hands. And something in him said that not only could he do it, but that he would do it if Gwen didn’t comply with his request soon.
Then he thought of what Gwen would say later if he ripped off her clothing. He thought of how upset she had been over the one negative comment about her under garments and uniform. Thinking of her wish to visually share her body only with him restored a tiny shred of control, which he vowed to use for her.
Breathing deeply, he unfastened and unzipped her uniform pants with hands that trembled in their eagerness. He was relieved beyond measure when Gwen stirred from her stupor at last and pushed them down until they fell around her ankles. They came the rest of the way off when he lifted her behind her knees and moved between her smooth, firm thighs. His hands slid up to cup her rounded rear when she hooked her legs around him.
“Hold on to me. Arms around my neck,” Dorian ordered, groaning his approval loudly when Gwen compliantly did as she was asked because it freed his hands. He pushed his own pants down and breeched her body before his pants even hit the floor. When she called out and embraced him more tightly, he stilled, suddenly unsure that he’d been reading her arousal level correctly.
“Did I go too fast and hurt you?” Dorian demanded, his body trembling with holding back.
“No—I…I just can’t believe it’s like this again after the seven or eight times we did this last night,” Gwen said.
“Why? Do you not want me?” Dorian asked in dismay.
“No—of course I want you. But maybe I want to make the moves once in a while, be on top, take control of what we’re doing,” Gwen complained.
“I am willing to let you be my leader in your work. I would gladly walk into battle by your side because I respect you as a warrior. But this—this living desire is the essence of my need for you, Gwen Jet. What I want—need—is for you to give in to it, give in to me,” Dorian demanded, his voice gravelly rough as his body flexed with the urge to move forward.
“I can’t accommodate all your macho urges, Zade. I don’t give in to anyone,” Gwen said, squirming as she tried to get him to move inside her and ease the ache she had for him.
Dorian leaned in and sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. It was all he could reach in their current position. And he had no patience to carry her to the bed. That would have to wait until later.
“What would convince you to make me your one exception for surrendering yourself, Commander Jet?” he asked, thrusting hard once and sending her up the door, feeling validated when Gwen called out in pleasure.
“Not able…not going…Dorian,” she called again, thinking her mate had definitely improved on his endurance, so much so that he’d gone too far in the opposite extreme. He was harder inside her than any male she could remember.
“Not what, Gwen? Not enough yet? How about this then?” he demanded, repeating the single motion with more strength and then stopping her hard on the surface behind her back, holding firm while she struggled on him. With every struggle she made, he pushed her a bit harder against the wall, holding her in place, not letting her move.
“Dorian…please,” Gwen begged
“If my actions can’t convince you, how about I tell you that I need you as much as I need to breathe?” he whispered. “Concede your will to me. If you don’t, I’ll just have to keep you locked in the room.”
“Damn you, Zade,” she said, the curse sounding like a whimper no matter what she did.
Moving smoothly in and out of her at last, Dorian let himself ride the desire her body felt for him, intensely enjoying her surrender to what they were doing whether she verbally admitted it or not.
“You’re such a controlling bastard,” she said tightly, leaning in to bite his bottom lip and return the torture.
He stopped moving then, making her hover on the edge of pleasure that he refused to let her have. She was so incredibly beautiful. Her resistance just added an edge to a passion that he could never seem to quench for long with her.
“Now you must beg me to pleasure you,” Dorian ordered when she freed his mouth.
“I don’t think so,” Gwen said on a laugh, moaning into his shoulder as she squeezed her legs tighter around him. “Finish this.”
“No,” he said, gritting his teeth. “I have watched you, Commander. You control all other males on the Liberator. I need to be the exception. I am your mate. Concede to me.”
Gwen threw back her head, hitting the door with it as she groaned and shook against him. “I’m three seconds from calling you vile names you’re definitely not going to like.”
His laughter at her threat had him moving inside her even though he tried not to do so. He almost lost it when he felt her start to throb with spasms around his hardness, her climax imminent.
“I promise not to tell anyone, Sweet Joy. Never will I brag of conquering you. I just need to hear you beg me,” Dorian explained. “Sarinnea said it was not evil of me to desire it, but rather just what a Siren male needs from his mate.”
Gwen called out loudly at his withholding, the sound guttural with her longing. “Damn you. Okay—please end this torture. Raging fires of Helios, I’m begging you…”
Her words ignited him, had him pulling her off the door and leaning back with her impaled on him. The vibration he sent into her made her scream, and he let the sound of her surprise echo off the walls of the room as he absorbed her violent climax and let it fuel his lust.
Then when his mate melted into his arms in true surrender, Dorian walked to the bed with her still connected to him, falling on top of her and moving like liquid inside her, focusing the energy that remained.
“No more,” she said, her head rolling from side to side. “I can’t, Zade. Please—no more.”
Ignoring her, he buried his face into her fragrant throat, letting whatever it was ruling him to have its way. “This pleasure is for you, for you alone. I am for you alone. Do you hear me, Gwen Jet? Do you understand what it is to be my mate?”
“Yes—Dorian, yes. Please…please, I don’t think I can…” her body arched and lifted his from the bed as the excruciating pleasure bordering on pain wracked her body, even as he continued to move inside her, driving her past any limit she tried to enforce.
She was crying and pleading and begging and trying to hold him to her as he kept moving and whispering his encouragement. Then his chest chakra opened, pouring out his compassion on her in a flood that followed the physical pleasure he found inside her at last. His adoration rolled over her until she could feel it coating her with the pure emotion he felt for her in that moment.
Gwen wept in relief. He was not anything like she’d imagined, but was everything she could imagine ever needing. Dorian Zade truly was the only male in her life that she’d ever given control to, but it was because he loved her so much that she had no choice.
Or at least, this version of Dorian loved her this much. The other one had had as many doubts as she did. And it was getting harder and harder to remember that the male in her arms was not his full self.
“Sweet Joy, I honor your surrender to what is between us,” Dorian whispered. “I honor your submission to meeting my needs. Thank you for letting me be your exception.”
Gwen could only nod while the tears streamed, only hold him close as realization after realization swept over her. The male body so insistent on pleasuring hers might not be doing what he was doing so adamantly if he truly remembered her and all their issues.
They had a complicated history. They had fought, avoided each other, and fought some more. They’d hurt each other, healed each other, and rescued each other.
As much as
Gwen secretly liked the Siren male who seemed so content to spend his days pleasing her, she had to help Zade be his whole self again soon. And she had to do it before she fell any more in love with the version now lying satisfied at last on top of her.
If their mating was going to be real, she needed to know what it was like to be with the version of Dorian Zade that had mated her in the first place. Even if it meant she might lose the first and only true contentment she’d ever found in her life.
***
“Synar can’t seriously be thinking about sending her,” Chiang said, slamming the toolbox on the bench and sliding it back into its storage garage.
“Why are you still working in Engineering? You were supposed to be transferring your duties to Ensign Lofgren,” Gwen said sharply.
“Ensign Lofgren is still passing along his duties—Commander,” Chiang said, using her title almost as an insult. He lifted the next toolbox and slammed it hard into the next storage garage. The sound of metal meeting metal matched his mood.
“You and Synar seem to think you can move us all around like we were pieces in a game while you do other things. And quit changing the subject. Boca is not going back to Lotharius as bait.”
Gwen was about to blast him for insubordination when her intuition kicked in and a wave of worry coming off him blasted her instead. Though Boca had not accepted the Greggor male as her mate, Chiang had accepted her—at least subconsciously—and all the responsibility and caring that went along with doing so.
“I know you’re worried about her suffering more, but Boca is the only choice, and she’s agreed to do it. That’s why I came to see you. You’re my pick to go with her. No one else is going to look out for her like you will. We both know that—and why,” Gwen said. “Plus I can’t see you allowing her pain controller to be installed into anyone else. You and I both know you’re not going to let another male control your—”
Chiang raised a warning hand to stop Gwen from using the term. It was hard enough to think it. He didn’t want to hear the word. “Boca refuses to acknowledge our connection. There is nothing more I can do.”
“Been with any females lately, Chiang?” Gwen chided, crossing her arms. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. You see, one of the odd things I got from Zade was the ability to read everyone’s sex life—or lack of one.”
“Stay out of my business,” Chiang demanded.
“I can’t. Boca is going, and someone is going with her. That’s already a done deal,” Gwen said, crossing her arms and bracing for more of a fight.
“You’re asking me to put Boca’s controller in my hand and shock her to prove it works. I broke the damn Xendrin collar off her when it shocked her because I wasn’t calm enough to just turn it off. How in the raging fires of Helios do you expect me to do what you suggest?” Chiang demanded.
Gwen ran a restless hand over her hair. “I don’t know. Maybe you can’t. But I’ll tell you quite honestly that Jurek is going to be able to shock her to save the life of that abducted female and the others who will eventually be rescued. And Boca is going to let someone do it. The only question is who.”
Chiang gripped the edge of the table until the metal started to give in his hands. He made himself ease up because he didn’t want to leave imprints.
“I’m moving to Medical,” he said morosely, changing the subject. “Since I outrank the senior medics, I’m now in charge of the whole blasted area.”
“I know you’re upset about that as well. And I’d like to talk about your job change, but there’s still more about Boca that I have to tell you,” Gwen said.
Chiang sighed and raised a hand in concession. “Speak then and get it all out. I will try to hear the rest, but don’t expect me to be calm.”
“Ania and I are going to train Boca to fight better, but after the mission. . .” Gwen ran a hand through her hair again.
Just say it, she told herself. He’s your friend and he needs to know.
“Boca has put in a request to go into the Peace Alliance academy on Rylen. Synar is granting her ensign status for her service on this mission since she’s already proved her skills during the rescue from Terris Rein. When she finishes the academy in a year, Boca will come out as a Lieutenant and probably take a commissioned slot on a ship—probably not the Liberator though, unless we have an opening when she’s ready.”
Chiang lifted his chin to look wildly around the docking bay at the two shuttles he’d spent years helping service in addition to the rest of the Liberator. Everything catching his gaze looked normal at first glance, but it wasn’t. It had been his place of hiding for a long time, but he no longer saw it with the same eyes.
Now Chiang was panicked because Boca was intending to leave the Liberator for good. It didn’t surprise him, but it put a hole in his gut. A hole that he didn’t want. Caring about her life choices was wasted energy because she refused to recognize his connection to her. It wasn’t like he wanted to need her. He just couldn’t help himself.
“You know I can’t stop her from leaving,” Chiang admitted, the words as painful to say as they were to think. His emotions were scraped raw, his head and both his hearts hurting. His spirit was already grieving.
“No—you can’t keep Boca from doing what she feels she has to do,” Gwen agreed, crossing her arms and bracing her feet. “Chiang, she fights with all she is. That female has a warrior spirit. I’m not just saying that to make this sound better. It would suit me better to lie and say I was worried myself because I don’t like to see you hurting. But that’s not the truth. She’s a damn warrior on the inside. I’m sorry only because I see it bothers you.”
Chiang nodded and turned back to the bench. Once again in his life he had no choice about his own destiny, much less the ability to change Boca’s.
“Your sympathy does not change the truth, Commander. Nor does it resolve your dilemma about the mission. Let me think about your request for two time revolutions. I’ll give you my answer about going with her shortly.”
“Synar wants to see us all after the evening meal anyway. Just be prepared with your answer then,” Gwen said. She reached out and squeezed his arm in support. “Here’s one concession I can make because of our friendship. I’ve seen Boca Ador’s desire for you, Chiang. She’s not just denying you when she refuses your connection. She’s denying herself as well. And she fights that just as fiercely as she did those guards that threatened the shuttle on Terris Rein.”
“This I have already discovered for myself. So are you stepping into the role of counselor while your mate can’t?” Chiang chided.
Gwen pointed a finger at him. “I’d say something vicious and scathing right now, but I’m too exhausted. Zade’s not letting me sleep.”
Chiang laughed at her honesty. Raging fires of Helios—he missed the volatile female and her black and white views of everything, which were always simple and direct. Even if they were naïve at times.
“Life was incredibly simple before our mates came along. I miss the simple pleasure of being with you,” he said. “It was enjoyable, and then I got on with my life. You gave me contentment.”
“Well I…ah hell, I can’t lie, Chiang. I can barely remember what it was like with you now. You have no idea what Zade is capable of when he’s motivated. I mean everyone warned me about Sirens, but still—” she stopped when she saw Chiang laughing again.
“He’s a Siren. I know how he is. You’re completely ruined for normal males now,” Chiang said.
Gwen crossed her arms. “That’s very insulting, but also might be true,” she declared boldly.
Chiang shook his head as the alarm went off on her wrist unit. “Got another meeting?”
“Yes—one I can’t be late for,” Gwen said, turning to jog away, not wanting to keep Zade waiting long. When she was late for their “meetings,” he made her beg. She really hated that, and worse—he could always tell when she was faking it. Lying only made him hold out longer.
***
D
orian was waiting in the doorway of their quarters—his quarters—that were larger than hers for reasons he did not understand since she outranked him. Studying her anxious expression as she walked briskly towards him, he fought the urge to laugh. She walked by him and into the room without pausing, already working on the fasteners of her shirt before he’d even closed the door.
Instead of being so pleased, he probably should have been ashamed that he had to grab her hands to stop her from undressing, but that noble reaction eluded him as well. Again, he wanted to laugh when she was startled. Then she frowned and looked disappointed when he quickly fastened her shirt back up.
Emotion choked him that such a female wanted him, conceded to him, and was willing to see to his needs as well as the hundreds of other responsibilities she tended on the Liberator. But strange things had been happening to him all day. Tiny snippets leaking through the walls in his mind were keeping him from seeing clearly. He needed her help.
“Later we will seek our pleasure, Sweet Joy. I have another need at this moment. I remembered something significant today,” he said. “Can you take me to a place Sarinnea called the ‘meditation room’?”
Nodding, she stepped into him for a hug, matching their mating cords. Then she backed up and took his hand.
“You created it as a private counseling place. It looks like a training room but feels like a temple. It’s just down the hall from your quarters,” she said, wondering if all his memories were just going to come back on their own.
The walk was short, and Gwen stopped in front of the door of the room. “It’s voice activated for you, but hand recognition should also work.”
Dorian waved a hand over the sensor, putting his other hand out to open the door when he heard the familiar click. Inside was exactly what he had seen in his vision.
“I remembered this room today,” he said quietly, walking forward. “I saw it clearly in my head and somehow knew this place was on the ship. I verified its existence with Sarinnea. I almost called you when it popped into my mind, but figured it best to wait until our arranged meeting time.”
The Siren's Call (Fantasy, Science Fiction, Romance) (FORCED TO SERVE) Page 17
