“Ignored a lot, as in how?” Samantha questioned, her voice soft.
“Gwen’s highs and lows for one. She’d be happy one day and then dark and angry the next.” Back and forth, I brushed my thumb over Samantha’s shoulder, the contact soothing. “Even though she didn’t want to admit it – she’d caused the situation we were in – she was miserable with me no matter how hard she tried to fight it. She gradually slipped into a downward spiral as time went on.
“I didn’t help her much. I contributed to her depression. If I was home, I was spending every free moment I had with Linc. I also spent a lot of time with Maggie. Maybe that’s what finally sent her over the edge. I didn’t give her much attention.”
“Maggie?”
There was a note in Samantha’s voice that was alarming – it was agonized and deeply wounded.
“Yes, Maggie,” I repeated. “Yeah, I couldn’t be with her, but she was still my best friend. Up until she moved to London, we saw each other multiple times a week. I saw Lyric and Paul a lot, too.”
Samantha rolled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, hanging her head.
I pushed myself up on an elbow and studied her. “Samantha?”
Her voice came out small. “I saw you with her.”
“I’m sorry?” I questioned, baffled.
“In London – I saw you with her.” Heartbreak was woven through her voice. “It was earlier in the day, before I ran into you at the club with Lyric. I was across the street from the two of you.”
Floored, I could only stare at her back.
“It literally devastated me, Ben. The way you looked at her, there was so much love in your eyes. Why do you think I was at the bar where Lyric and I met?” Her laugh chilled me. “I was drinkin’ my sorrows away.”
“Baby girl-”
“Do you know that you never told me that Maggie was Gwen’s sister? All this time – stupid of me, I know – I just thought she was a friend of yours. I never put two and two together. It took meetin’ Gwen to realize it. They really are identical.”
My stomach bottomed out.
I never told her?
I stood and walked to the other side of the bed. Light spilled into the room from the hallway, illuminating her face. Tears trickled down each of her cheeks.
Fuck.
I was such a bastard.
I knelt in front of her and took her face in my hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that. I never set out to intentionally not tell you. I guess it never came up.”
Storms waged in her eyes. “It came up, Ben. It came up when you told me what Gwen did to you. It came up this mornin’ when you looked at the picture of her daughter with sadness.”
My head rocked back. “I didn’t look at Madeline in sadness.”
She jabbed a finger into my chest. “Yes, you did.”
“Samantha, I was happy for them.”
“It was when you repeated the baby’s name – you were saddened by it.”
Oh, shit.
She was right.
But not in the way she thought.
Before I could tell her that, she whispered, “You still love her, don’t you? You’re still in love with Maggie.”
My silly, beautiful Samantha.
I shuffled between her knees, brushing her hair from both sides of her face. Samantha pushed at my arms, trying to dislodge herself from my hold, but I wasn’t having it. I clutched her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.
“Do I love her? Yes.” Tears and hurt welled in Samantha’s eyes, but she needed to hear all I had to say. “I’ll always love her, but as my friend, sweetheart. I love her like you love your family. I haven’t loved her in any other way than that for a long time.”
Her voice quaked. “Then why?”
“Why did I look sad today?” Samantha nodded. “Because, even though I don’t love her like that, things happen, memories come up, and it reminds me of a time long ago, a time when life was uncomplicated.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
How can I explain this?
“Do you ever look back at memories with your ex and remember the good times?” I questioned, hoping she’d see my point. “Even though you aren’t together, there had to be happy moments that are sometimes bittersweet.”
She bit her lip, reluctantly nodding.
“That’s all it was for me. Maggie and I ended sixteen years ago. Yeah, I have fond memories, but they’re only memories. Maggie is only a memory to me.”
I scooted closer to her, snaking an arm around her waist, and closed the gap between us. Her nipples pebbled against my chest, but I ignored the sensation. “I could never love her like that because she isn’t you. You are the only woman I love, Samantha. No one else.”
Stunned eyes glistened with more tears. “What?” she wheezed. “But…how?”
Entertained by her reaction, I whispered, “You need to keep up, baby girl. Meeting you was fated – we’ve known that for some time.” My fingers ghosted over her features. “Do you not see it every time I look at you? Because I feel it. I feel it all the way down to here.” I covered her hand and brought it to my chest, right over my heart. “You’ve given me everything I could ever want and things I didn’t even know existed. You’ve changed me, Samantha. I love you, all of you.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been open with you. At first, it was for me. I needed time to sort it out, and I was afraid you wouldn’t want me if you knew the amount of baggage that came with me. Then, as time went on, I didn’t want you to think any less of me.”
“Shut up,” she demanded, surprising me.
“What?”
“I said shut up.”
Then she launched herself at me.
Chapter 29
Samantha
Letting out a loud oomph, Ben landed flat on his back with me on top of him. I attacked his lips with mine, infusing all of my happiness into our kiss. Laughing, he opened his mouth for me, meeting my tongue with just as much enthusiasm.
My hands were everywhere – in his hair, cupping his jaw, kneading his shoulders and neck. I wanted to sink into him, mold myself to him forever. My fervor wasn’t from his declaration alone; it was because he was letting me in finally. Even though I hurt for him and everything he’d been through, I was overjoyed, blissful beyond belief.
Ben flipped me onto my back, the hardwood cold and abrasive against my bare skin. He pushed up on his forearms and stared down at me, his eyes glittering. “Does that mean you love me?”
My smile was as wide as Texas. “Like you didn’t know already.”
He flattened himself against me, his mouth only a breath away. “I’d love to hear it from your lips, though.”
I wrapped my limbs around him, my arms around his neck and my legs around his thighs, needing to get as close as possible. “I love you, Benjamin Rhodes.”
Love and heat flooded his gaze. “I love you too, Samantha.”
“If you don’t take me to bed and make love to me, I’m gonna be pissed,” I quipped, grinding against him. He was already hard and pressed against my core.
“I might be able to do that,” he murmured, then licked my bottom lip.
“Mmmm,” I groaned. “That might better be a definitely.”
He nipped my jaw. “That sassy mouth.”
“Or we can do it here,” I offered, thrusting my hips upward.
Ben pushed up on his hands, the muscles of his arms straining next to my head. He was a mouthwatering sight above me.
“The ground isn’t an ideal place, sweetheart.”
I shrugged, not caring. “True.”
“Plus, this occasion calls for a bed.” Ben hopped to his feet, his cock bobbing, and held out a hand. “Come on.”
Slipping my fingers in his, I let him haul me to my feet. His large hands encircled my waist, and together, we fell into bed. Ben maneuvered us until my head was on the pillow and he was between my thighs again.
I stared up at my beau
tiful man as peace settled into my very soul. “No teasin’ tonight. I just need you…all of you,” I murmured, my words quiet and full of meaning.
Fingers brushed up my sides as he licked my throat. “You have all of me, Samantha.”
Goosebumps prickled my skin. “I do, don’t I?”
His chest vibrated against my nipples as he laughed. “You have a comeback for everything.”
“Who, me?” I whispered sweetly, but it was cut off, and a mewl fell from my lips as his cock brushed against my clit.
“Now it’s your turn to shut up,” he warned, resting on his haunches.
He gripped my thighs and hauled me down the bed, closer to him. With a thumb on my clit making measured passes, he slowly guided himself into me. My back tensed as he stretched me. He hadn’t prepared me like he normally did, so it burned. But it was a good burn – the pleasure-pain a decadent combination.
“Ben,” I whispered on a sigh.
Clutching my throat, he leaned over me, his back arching so that he could lick the valley between my breasts. He penetrated me deeper, the angle sublime.
I held his forearm and moved with him, the motions leisure and steady. The depth behind his eyes as he watched touched me somewhere deep, somewhere profound.
It was plain to see now – Ben loved me. Witnessing it in front of me, I knew that he never looked at Maggie that day with love. This was love. I was his world, his every sunrise and every sunset.
I was everything to Ben.
Tears stung my eyes and then slowly seeped out the corners, wetting my hair. As he noticed them, Ben’s face gentled and a look of reverence came over him. He kissed the corner of my eyes and licked the tears away.
“Honey,” I whimpered, moved.
His grip around my throat tightened, and then he slammed into me. My back bowed off the bed in surprise, and I keened loudly. The headboard hit the wall as his thrusts increased potency, just as overcome as I was.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.” I said the words back between gasps, my core tightening around him.
“Hold your tits up for me,” he demanded.
My clit tingled at the severe edge in his voice.
Cupping both breasts, I offered them to him. He never stopped driving into me as he took a peak into his mouth and laved it with his tongue. The sensation of his hand around my throat and his mouth at my breast caused my breath to shudder.
“God,” I moaned. “More.”
He sucked harder.
“Yes,” I whimpered.
Ben swiveled his hips, allowing his pelvis to graze my clit. Euphoria sparked my nerve endings.
I could no longer keep from touching him.
I had to touch him.
Releasing my breasts, I explored, rediscovering every glorious inch of his defined back. I sunk my fingers into the meaty flesh of his ass, forcing him to hammer into me harder.
“Christ, baby girl,” he grated. “So greedy.”
“Greedy for you,” I murmured, panting, and gave him a wicked smile.
Ben shoved his hands under my ass and picked me up. He rolled over and sat with his back against the headboard, never breaking our connection.
“Show me how much,” he dared, with a cocky smile tilting his lips.
I pushed myself up on my knees, only keeping the tip inside. “You sure?” I challenged.
“Show me how much you love me, Samantha.”
Swoon.
I could do that and so much more.
I drove down on him, wrenching a guttural sound from his throat. Undulating my hips, I rode him fast and hard. Ben kneaded my breasts and tweaked my nipples. Our eyes remained locked and held firm as we got swept away.
Sweat misted our skin, the smooth glide of friction adding another layer of sensations to the already potent mix. I felt my orgasm brewing inside me, spinning and whirling like a vortex.
“Get there, baby girl,” Ben coaxed. The veins in his temple protruded as he held in his release, waiting for me. “I can feel you – you’re close.”
My head fell back, the intoxicating combination astronomical.
“Eyes,” he growled, pinching my nipple harder.
I dipped my chin and pressed my lips against his, our breaths intermingling, but my eyes were on Ben’s as our tongues dueled, battling for supremacy.
Ben reached between us and found my hardened bundle of nerves. Like my nipples, he manipulated it with two fingers.
“Ahhh,” I screamed, and the vortex exploded outward, demolishing both of us like a tsunami.
“Samantha,” Ben breathed, following me into paradise.
And it was paradise.
We’d never orgasmed simultaneously before. It was indescribable. There was nothing like experiencing bliss together, as one.
Beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
∞
Cuddled closely to my back, Ben spooned me from behind. Fingertips skimmed up and down my side, both of us lost in a state of peace.
So much had changed since yesterday, and I found myself content for the first time in a long time. All was right in my world with Ben in Bliss.
I thought back to everything he said tonight, and I was positive he was right.
We’re fated.
Whether we were fated to meet in Bliss or London, no matter what happened, we would have found each other eventually. We were right where God meant for us to be. I found a true comfort in that. It gave me faith that we’d overcome every obstacle in our path.
However, there were still things that needed to be said, and I needed answers. Ben might have told me about his father, but he never finished his story about Gwen. If I was to face her again, I needed every scrap of information so that I wasn’t blindsided. For Linc and Ben, I needed to be strong.
“I have questions,” I whispered into the darkness. The cracked door was behind us, offering little light on this side of the room.
Ben let out a deep breath. “Do I have to answer tonight?”
He sounded so dejected, I almost caved.
Almost.
“Ben, if Gwen shows up tomorrow, I need to be prepared,” I explained, keeping my words light.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
“My sentiments, exactly. I don’t want to talk about your ex-wife while we’re in bed.”
“Can we never use the word wife when it doesn’t pertain to you while we’re in bed?” he countered.
Warmth erupted inside me, filling me to the brim.
“I can do that,” I allowed, grinning.
Ben kissed the underside of my ear. “Good.”
“I’m not gonna be swayed, Ben. I need you to tell me everythin’.”
He exhaled again. “God, I hate talking about that bitch.”
“So do I,” I concurred. “Especially now that I’ve met her.”
To distract him, I wiggled my ass against him.
Ben groaned. “If you do that, there will be no more talking tonight.”
I stilled.
He had a very good point.
“Thought so,” he murmured, tasting my shoulder.
“Get on with it.”
His breath fanned my neck as he asked, “Can I give you the condensed version?”
“As long as you don’t leave out any important facts, I’m happy.”
“Where was I?” he questioned, unsure.
“You quit your job with your dad, and that’s when you and Gwen started tryin’ to work things out.”
“Right. That part.” He paused, collecting himself, and then began. “It was okay for a while. Like I told you before, we started living a somewhat normal life. Maybe the fact that she finally had me set her off, but she went from attentive and catering to disturbed.
“Jealousy started getting the best of her. The spectacles she’d make at my school and later, at the hospital, were downright embarrassing.” I felt his head shake from side to side. “She’d check my phone and stalk any woma
n that text or called me, even if it was something as simple as a school or work related question. There would be screaming matches in the hallways where I worked. Before that, she’d show up on campus, making scenes. She brought Linc with her at times, letting him witness everything. Hell, she even had Linc convinced I continued to cheat on her.”
Holy shit, she’s demented.
That would definitely drive a wedge between father and son.
Who does that?
“Then I found multiple prescriptions around the house for Vicodin. She’d been taking care of Linc while she was high. After I’d confronted her, she promised to stop. By that point, it was already too late. No matter how many times she promised, it never stopped her.
“I’m a doctor, Samantha. I understand the severity of addictions. I’ve seen it for years in my mother. When Gwen started falling apart, as her husband I thought it was up to me to save her. I was unhappy, sure, but how was I supposed to leave my wife while she was sick? I refused to be my father and ignore it. So, I did everything I could to help her.”
I wanted to wrap my arms around him and rock him from side to side.
How can one person be so selfless?
It made me all the more grateful that he entrusted me with his love.
“She went to rehab five times while we were married. First, it was just for the Vicodin, but then she started drinking. Excessively drinking. Her father, since he’s a judge – he’s not the best man in the world either – was able to make two DUI’s disappear. Luckily, Linc was never in the car for those. Didn’t matter to me; I forced her to check herself into rehab after each occurrence.”
“That’s…ridiculous,” I whispered.
And I thought what he’d experienced before was crazy. This woman had put him through the ringer.
“She is that,” Ben agreed, then continued his story. “I finally called it quits one night when I came home to find her wasted. Her pills were lying out, and there were open containers everywhere. On top of that, Linc had a friend over. I was packing her bag, about to send her to rehab again, when she proceeded to tell me that Linc wasn’t mine. Imagine the shock I felt when she told me she’d slept with my father.”
Fated Bliss (The Bliss Series Book 2) Page 35
