Sophie stared at her, not quite sure what to say. Had she heard Rina correctly? Did she say she was in love with me? It didn’t make any sense she pondered, bewildered.
When she still didn’t say anything, Rina continued, “I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. In fact, I was going to tell you the first night we went camping, the night you met David.”
Sophie continued to gape.
“Obviously, I wasn’t able to tell you then so I’ve been waiting for you,” Rina finished slowly.
Sophie pulled back her hand, as though she’d been stung. “You’ve been waiting for me? What are you talking about?” Sophie knew she sounded insensitive but at the same time couldn’t believe Rina was serious. Her mouth still open, she waited for Rina to tell her it was a joke, but when she didn’t, Sophie continued softly, “Rina, I’m not gay. You know that. I don’t understand where this has come from.” She stopped, realizing for the second time since their friendship began, that Rina was going to cry.
She wanted to kick herself for her lack of compassion.
“Rina,” she said, taking Rina’s hand back, “Thank you for loving me.” She looked into Rina’s eyes, hoping she saw she meant every word. “Your friendship is important to me. I’d be lost without you, and I love you, too. I’m not in love with you, though, and I never will be. I’m sorry,” Sophie finished, wishing in some ways she were different. Without a doubt, she knew Rina would always be there for her, would always look out for her. Sexually, though, it wasn’t an option.
Shaking Rina’s hands, she clamored, “Say something. Blink if you can hear me. Please.” Rina’s face looked frozen in time, like she’d left her body for another planet. “Rina?” She called again.
She watched the life come back into her best friends’ eyes, as she blinked her understanding.
Without warning, Rina started laughing. It was a deep, hearty laugh. The kind that comes after someone said something hysterical. She couldn’t remember Rina laughing this way before, and it was contagious. She knew this was serious, knew Rina was probably trying to avoid the situation, but after a while, she couldn’t help herself any longer and started laughing, too.
Several minutes later, they both stopped, the experience leaving her feeling incredibly lifted. Rina reached over and hugged her tightly. Sophie returned it happily.
“Oh, Rina, are you—?”
Rina interrupted her. “You don’t need to apologize or say anything else. I’m the one who’s sorry. Let’s forget the last several minutes ever happened. Okay?” Rina reached for the tissue box on the coffee table.
Sophie watched her intently as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. This was a big moment in their relationship, and she didn’t want to ruin it or hurt her dearest friend.
When Rina was finished, Sophie clarified. “Rina, are you sure you don’t want to talk about this? I mean, you in love with me, that’s a big deal.”
“Really, hon, as soon as I said the words, I regretted them.”
Sophie pouted a little. “Why?”
“Oh, honey, not because I don’t think you’re wonderful. You are. It’s only, I realized I’m in love with you the way a mother loves her child or a sibling loves her sibling. That’s all, dear.”
“Are you sure?” Sophie asked earnestly.
“Yes, I’m sure.” Then abruptly changing the subject, Rina continued, “Now about the lawyer. The sooner you call him, the better, I think. He’s obviously a busy man and you’ll want to get the paperwork started as quickly as possible.”
Sophie sat back, unable to believe the quickness with which her friend switched channels. To appease her friend, though, she said, “Of course, I’ll call him in the morning.”
#
Sophie decided to wait until she was back in her hotel room to check her phone messages. She stopped at the grocery store to pick up more sleeping pills, deodorant and a few other items she’d forgotten from the house.
While she shopped, she contemplated the evening with Rina.
Although she’d seemed fine, Sophie sensed she wasn’t.
Feigning fatigue, she left immediately after their bizarre conversation, sensing Rina wanted to be alone. She hoped Rina was all right. Their relationship was important to her.
David was on her mind, as well. Images of what he might be doing kept pecking their way in. By the time she’d arrived at her hotel, her head pounded. She knew his anger would lead to fury and worse. That alone frightened her.
Once inside her room, she placed the grocery items on her bed and turned on her phone. Its irritating beep informed her she had voice messages. She also noticed she had four missed calls. Not terrible, she thought, shrugging. Maybe Rina was right. Maybe the situation would be fine.
After listening to the messages, though, she realized her worst fears were correct, and maybe even worse than she’d first expected.
Chapter 5
“Hello, hon,” Rina offered, knocking on Sophie’s classroom door. “Are you ready for your first day as a teacher?”
Trying to look happy Sophie answered, “Yes, I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”
“Are you sure? Because you look like you’re going to pass out." Rina walked in, sitting across the desk from her.
Sophie had already decided if she broke away from David she would need Rina’s help. Taking a deep breath she started, “David called me last night; four times. At least I know for sure three calls were from him.”
“What about the other phone call, why don’t you know for sure?”
Tentatively, Sophie answered, “It was a male voice which sounded a little like David, but the number was unavailable. Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“Did he say anything?”
Sophie swallowed nervously, “He shouted, ‘You’re dead Sophie,’ before he hung up.” Those words had repeated themselves over and over in her mind all night and again all morning. Saying the words out loud caused the hollow pit in her stomach to fill with fear. Feeling lightheaded, she thought she would pass out until Rina came to her aid.
“Hang in there, hon,” Rina twittered sharply, coming around to the other side of the desk and putting an arm on hers. “You’re going to be . . .”
“Don’t say it again, okay? I’m not going to be fine. David doesn’t just say things, he means them. He’s going to kill me, I know it.” She glared up at Rina, daring her to disagree.
“Sweetie, first take a drink.” Rina picked up a bottle of water from her desk and handed it to her.
Gratefully, she drank it all.
Pulling over a chair, Rina sat next to her. “Now, listen to me. David is a scary man, in more ways than one. I know. I get it,” Rina agreed, putting a hand up to stave off the interruption on Sophie’s lips. “I have to tell you, I think he’s only trying to frighten you. More importantly, are you sure the last phone call was from him? I mean, really, hon, what if it was just a prank call which coincidentally came on the same night you stood David up?”
Sophie wasn’t convinced, and to make matters worse, she sensed Rina wasn’t either. She knew Rina was worried too. “I know you’re trying to be supportive but, and I think you’ll agree, you have no idea what he’s going to do, do you?”
“No, I don’t, but it takes a sick person to actually kill someone. Do you think he’s screwed up enough to kill you?”
“I hope not, but then I had no idea he’d be an abusive, controlling husband either.” A breakdown was imminent, growing inside like an uncontrolled tumor. She knew it would reveal itself soon, and wondered when.
I’ve got to be strong, she told herself desperately. The words ‘be strong’ having become her ritual mantra she tried to focus on them. Seeing Rina at a loss for words didn’t help her feel better either.
“Look, I wouldn’t have thought he would stick a knife to my neck, but he’s been getting progressively worse these last several months. I’m petrified.”
“Sweetie,” Rina began.
Sophie interrupted, “Yo
u have no idea what it’s like to wake up every morning, knowing your entire day will be scrutinized, knowing one wrong move will send David into a fit of rage. He yells, throws things and has even forced me to do things . . . I can’t go on. Some things are better left unsaid.”
“You’re right,” Rina consoled tenderly. “I had no idea it was that awful between you two. Honestly, I tried not to think about it. I was afraid I’d try to kill the bastard if I knew too much.”
“I need you to at least pretend you understand how hard this is for me, getting a job and leaving David like this. A part of me wants to take my money and run, far away. It would be easier, I think,” Sophie said. She didn’t want her inner hysteria to appear but there it was. She’d spoken aloud what she’d been thinking since the phone calls last night. She wanted to run.
“Honey, I don’t think it would be easier to run. You’d always be wondering where he was or if he’d found you. This way, you’re facing him head on.”
“I appreciate your support. You know I rely on you for good advice and under different circumstances I’d accept your words without question. This time though, my gut is telling me to run, and run far. Rina, you’re the only person holding here and, no offense, but I wonder if that’s enough.
“Excuse me. I didn’t realize you were in here Rina.” Phillip faltered, stepping into the classroom. Turning around, he started to leave. “I’ll come back later.”
“Phillip, it’s kind of you to check on Sophie her first day of class. I knew I could count on you to help out the new teacher,” Rina stated coyly, winking at Sophie.
Sophie stifled a laugh. In spite of her fear and uneasiness, Rina still made her smile.
Phillip looked from Rina to Sophie, a smirk on his face. “You know me, Mr. Helpful.”
“I’ll be sure to put a gold star in your file under Assists fellow faculty.”
“Great. I’ll expect to see it at my next review.” He flashed a quick, genuine smile and left.
“See you, Phillip.” Rina laughed before turning back to Sophie, her demeanor serious again.
Sophie was stunned at Rina’s quick mood changes. She wondered if Rina shouldn’t have been an actress instead of a Vice Principal.
“He’s a great guy, that one. It’s too bad about his life. He’s going through kind of a rough time, too.”
“Oh?” Sophie mumbled, interested in hearing more, but not sure she had the stamina.
“You’re going to make it through this, sweetie. Trust me. Now, why don’t you call your lawyer? You have just enough time before your students arrive.” Rina glanced at the clock on the wall. “There are still a few problems I need to get handled this morning. I’ll see you later.” Rina stood and walked over to the door. Before leaving, she said, “Let’s meet for lunch. I want to know how your first day is going and find out if we have any Picasso’s or Monet’s among us.”
Sophie gave a brief smile of affirmation. There was another matter she wanted to talk to Rina about. “Rina?”
Poking her head back in, Rina answered, “Yes, dear?”
“About last night, what you and I talked about? Are we good?”
Rina smirked like she couldn’t believe she’d bothered to bring it up. “Whatever happened last night is forgotten,” she said and was gone.
Sophie shrugged hoping Rina meant it. She seemed like she did. I guess that’s one less worry. Sighing, she pulled Mr. Wodden’s card out of her bag and dialed his number.
"I'd like to speak with Mr. Wodden please." Sophie noticed tiny beads of perspiration building at her hairline and on her forehead.
"May I tell him who's calling?" the woman on the other end asked.
"This is Mrs. Berkeley."
"One moment please," the woman responded, putting her on hold.
After several minutes on hold, however, her resolve was all but gone and she was about to hang up when a gruff voice came on the line,
"This is Mr. Wodden. How may I help you?"
Startled, Sophie answered, "Yes, um, a friend of mine gave me your card. She said you handle divorces and I guess I need one."
She heard the gruff voice chuckle, a low baritone, before he returned, "If you're only guessing you need a divorce, perhaps you should call back when you're sure."
She didn’t quite know what to say.
"Are you there, Mrs. Berkeley?"
"Yes," she replied flatly.
"Was that a yes, you need a divorce, or yes, you're still on the line?"
"Both," she said automatically, then regained some composure and repeated more firmly, "Yes, I want a divorce. Can you help me?"
"Of course I can, Mrs. Berkeley. Why don't you come over to my office at five o'clock tonight and we'll get started."
"So soon?
"I had a last minute appointment cancellation. They’re going to give it another go, which leaves me time to see you."
"Okay, I can be there at five.”
"Good. Five o'clock then. I'll let my secretary give you directions. Hold on Mrs. Berkeley until she picks up."
The secretary came back on the line and gave directions.
Sophie hung up in a hurry. Her stomach churned. Barely making it into the bathroom, she ran into the first stall and threw up. After splashing water on her face, she arrived back in her classroom just as the bell rang.
Time for class, she thought, still feeling queasy.
#
Mr. Wodden's office was small but cozy. At the moment, Sophie sat on a soft, camel-colored leather chair flipping magazine pages.
The receptionist said, “He’ll be another few minutes.”
The waiting room looked like a personal library with books from floor to ceiling. There were a couple of coffee tables, some side tables with lamps on them and a ceiling fan swirling above. The sofas and chairs were all different colors yet somehow matched the room perfectly. Comfortable, and safe.
The intercom buzzed at the secretary’s desk.
Sophie watched the heavyset, jolly- looking, older woman with white, curly hair talk into the receiver, hang up, pull out a file, then stand and look directly at her.
"Mr. Wodden will see you now," she said, removing her oval, silver, reading glasses and setting them on the desk. "Follow me, please."
Sophie stood and followed the woman, spellbound by her bouncy curls.
"Here you go." She smiled, opening the door, gesturing to walk in ahead of her. Swiftly the woman followed handing a file to the man sitting behind a huge desk, his back to her.
"Have a seat, Mrs. Berkeley," he insisted deeply, not turning around to face her.
"I'll be done in a moment."
Sophie anxiously looked around his office but there wasn't much to see except a few certificates hanging at different angles on the walls. The ceiling lights were blaring down on her reminding Sophie of what an interrogation area might be like. She noticed the vast contrast between his personal office space and the reception area. Where his office was cold, the reception area was full of warmth.
Mr. Wodden swung around, a bright smile on his face.
Blinding, she thought. His teeth are really white. She sensed she would like him, though.
"Mrs. Berkeley." he started, sticking out his slender hand, “It's nice to meet you." His bright brown eyes shimmered with kindness.
She was surprised by his appearance. Because of his gruff voice, she expected a tall, bigger man, and he was exactly the opposite. He looked like he was only about five foot four and didn’t look like he weighed more than one hundred fifty pounds. The huge difference between what she thought he'd look like and what he was reminded her of the wizard from The Wizard of Oz. Although his face looked young, he had salt and pepper hair and a thick mustache that swallowed his top lip.
She noticed he waited patiently, with his hand outstretched, so Sophie put her hand in his and he shook it vigorously.
"It's nice to meet you, too," she said in a small voice.
"Have a seat," he offered, taking
his.
Sitting, she waited for him to lead the way, "The first thing I need to know is if this divorce has been agreed upon by both you and your husband."
"No, it hasn't, and I don't think my husband is going to take it very well either," she rushed. I’ve got to calm down, she vowed, taking a deep breath. She waited while he wrote something down.
He made a guttural noise before he continued, “Do you feel you’re in danger?"
She watched him closely, wondering how much to tell him. Making her decision, she lied, “No, I don't," and hoped she sounded convincing.
Immediately Mr. Wodden put down his pen and clasped his hands together as though waiting for her to elaborate.
Floundering nervously, Sophie picked at a nonexistent piece of lint from her pants.
“Mrs. Berkeley,” he questioned, after a few seconds.
“I can handle him.” Sophie responded firmly.
He waited another brief moment before picking up the papers in front of him and eyeing her speculatively asked, “Would you like me to have the divorce papers delivered to your husband for you? It wouldn't be a problem. It's quite normal, actually."
“Thank you but no, I want to give them to him. He needs to know I’m serious about this." As timid as she was about everything going on in her life right now, she believed he deserved her to be up front with him.
"If you’re sure,” he conceded, visibly doubtful. You’ll need to check your reason for the divorce and sign at the bottom.”
She took the papers, checked the box next to Irreconcilable Differences, signed them quickly and handed them back to him. She tried to smile courageously.
Checking over the papers, he grunted. “Good.”
She could tell he wanted to say more but was plainly keeping his opinions to himself out of professional courtesy.
"We’re almost done. Let me make a copy of this,” he stated. He turned his back on her, apparently making a copy. When he turned back around, he handed her what looked like the original. “You’re done, Mrs. Berkeley.”
"Is that it? There isn’t more to it?”
"Actually, it's the beginning. He needs to sign those. Then we need to discuss how you're going to divide your possessions, bank accounts and such."
Sleeping Roses Page 5
