Robbie's Scheme

by Justin Haines

  “You’re not asking us for any commitments?” The confusion is clear on the faces of the men across the table from Jalen and Robbie. “You want us to walk out of this room without any agreements? Without even asking?”

  “As we’ve been saying, gentlemen, we’re not like most funds. I run a tight ship that’s currently open to accepting new money, but I don’t need it. I’m opening this round of investing as the waiting list has grown long and friends are asking me for favors. If you don’t want me to manage your money, I don’t want it. Ask around, make a decision, and let us know. I’m fine either way.”

  Robbie reaches out to shake hands with the men across the table from him, content that this concludes his portion of the meeting.

  It takes them a moment to reciprocate the gesture as the group glances at each other. Each of them hopes to follow someone else’s lead in this unusual situation, leaving Robbie’s hand to hang there as he waits.

  Once they finally step up to shake Robbie’s hand, he leaves the conference room. His pace is quick as he marches back to his office, desperate to find a drink to wash the taste of tea out of his mouth. He figures Jalen can stick around to answer any further questions. He trusts that the proper message is now conveyed and doesn’t want to waste any more of his time.

  Teddy’s already waiting for him in his office as he enters. Standing behind Robbie’s desk, the short, balding, middle-aged man has his back to the rest of the office. He looks like he’s admiring the view of the East River out the window, but Robbie assumes he has his eyes closed to either meditate or tune out the noise of the work being done on the rest of the floor.

  “Morning, Rob,” Teddy says without turning to face him. Teddy’s the only one who calls him Rob. His friends all call him Robbie, and professionally, he’s known as Robert.

  “How was the week away, Teddy?”

  To reciprocate, Robbie’s the only one who calls him Teddy. Most know him as Theo, but like Robbie, he goes by Theodore in more professional and formal settings.

  “Quite fortuitous, our followers in Arizona are making wonderful progress.”

  Robbie walks past and grabs Teddy’s shoulders to turn him around. He gives them a loving squeeze as he examines Teddy’s face and avoids eye contact.

  “How can you spend the week in a dessert and come back without a tan?”

  Teddy shrugs the hands off of him and Robbie falls back into his chair. He spins it and wheels into his desk, willing to let Teddy waste his time with the window but not joining him.

  “I notice no health shake on your desk this morning. Have you been following our guidelines in my absence?”

  “More or less,” Robbie says as he shifts awkwardly in his chair and tries to focus on the emails filling up his screen.

  “I think it’s less. Did you attend your gym schedule last week?”

  Robbie shakes his head and looks at his feet in shame, knowing he shouldn’t lie to Teddy.

  Teddy’s still looking out the window, but Robbie’s confident he’ll see the head shake. As far as he’s concerned, Teddy may as well have eyes in the back of his head. He never thinks about his reflection being visible in the window. The aura surrounding Teddy is too powerful to reach a simple conclusion like that.

  “You know the rules, Rob. The Church expects a donation for your transgression. Any other blemishes on your record you wish to confess? You didn’t eat meat, did you?”

  “I was weak without you,” Robbie mutters.

  “In that case, it should be quite a large donation. This is disappointing, Rob. I never think of you as a victim. I’d hate to see this world vanquish you.”

  “I will not choose to be a victim.” Robbie’s voice is more forceful now as he repeats the mantra he’s uttered so many times before. Without either of them needing to say it, he knows it’s what Teddy expects at this moment.

  “You’re breaking your success plan. It’s not like I enforce these rules for my own pleasure. Everything you work for could disappear in an instant if your spirit is broken. We may need to take you upstate for some more classes soon. Did anything good happen in my absence?”

  “I met a woman who I’m taking quite a liking to.”

  Hearing Teddy’s sleeves brush against the window as he crosses his arms in front of his chest, Robbie instantly regrets mentioning it.

  “Rob, is this a good thing? Your spiritual journey is still early, I’m not sure how much you can handle. It’s often through our women that men become vanquished.”

  “It’s a good thing,” Robbie insists. “I’m happy when I’m around her.”

  “Happiness isn’t always what’s best for the soul. Pain is part of everyone’s journey. Did you consume any alcohol with this woman?”

  Robbie drops his head against his desk. He’s unable to speak with Teddy’s disapproval weighing him down.

  “I don’t like this woman. She sounds like a Vanquish. I advise against seeing her again, otherwise, you risk your spirit and faith.”

  “We’ve already made plans for dinner tomorrow night. I can’t stand her up.”

  Jalen comes striding into the office before Teddy can advise Robbie any further. Neither of them can see Jalen’s facial expression, but it’s clear from his purposeful strides that he’s coming to deliver what he considers to be an important message.

  “They’re not willing to close in the room with me,” Jalen says without any regard for whatever conversation he’s interrupting. “But we’re scheduling another in-person sit down for the end of the week before they fly home. They want to meet with Gilbert Bell before reaching any decisions. Plus, they already have a meeting scheduled with the guys at the Northern Grizzley Fund. They’re heading to the elevators now. Do you want to make any last remarks?”

  “No,” Robbie says as he lifts his head from his desk. “I’ve already conveyed the proper impression. Any further groveling on my part will only sully our image. Meeting with Gilbert will help them realize how respected and trustworthy our fund is by comparison. Let them out into the world so they think they’re forming their own opinions. They’ll be back.”

  “Sorry, boss,” Jalen says. He feels like he’s failed and wishes he could have closed this deal in the room. He falls into the chair opposite Robbie’s desk without noticing Theo turning around and glaring at him.

  “Don’t worry about it, dude. You did exactly as our game plan calls for. Your pitch was excellent.”

  “Did you catch the game last night?” Jalen asks as he kicks his feet up on the desk and makes himself comfortable. His disappointment and guilt never stick around for long. “We’re only one win away from the World Series now.”

  “Of course, George invited me to watch it in his box at the stadium. That was a hell of a homer in the eighth.”

  “You were in the park for that? Dude, I’m dying of jealousy.”

  As they speak, Theo walks across the room to move from one glass wall to another. Rather than meditate in front of the river, he’s looking out into the fund’s bullpen and watching. Jalen glances as he walks past but does his best to ignore Theo’s presence in the room.

  “Hey, if Milwaukee can win their next two games and meet New York, I would be the investment manager for both owners,” Robbie says as he joins Jalen in kicking his feet onto the desk. “I’m sure I could hit one of them up and score us some seats. Maybe even get us into a box again.”

  “That could be a way to lift morale around here,” Theo says.

  Jalen rolls his eyes at the comment. He isn’t Theo’s biggest fan. “Do we have a morale problem?”

  The sarcasm is clear in his voice and Theo chooses to ignore the question. Their cold relationship is very mutual and both are happy to talk to Robbie while pretending the other doesn’t exist.

  “Perhaps we can offer the tickets as an incentive? Reservations are low for this weekend’s sessions, we could offer to bring everyone to the game if they attend the entire weekend retreat and embrace their spiritual journey. Or we off
er seats to everyone who signs up at least two people for the course.”

  “So not even an incentive to perform at their jobs?” Jalen asks as he drops his feet from the desk and sits up straight in his chair. The question’s in response to Theo, but he’s looking at Robbie and hoping he can frame the ridiculousness for his friend.

  “I’m not sure I can score enough tickets for a big game like this. George and Ben will probably freak out that I even have the balls to ask. But it’s a good idea, Teddy. I’ll keep it in mind for an early-season game come spring.”

  Jalen’s happy Robbie isn’t playing along with this crazy idea. He worries about how close Robbie’s let Theo come. Their lives have practically grown intermeshed now. It makes him feel good to hear a little pushback, even over something as minor as tickets to a baseball game.

  Jalen doesn’t dare say anything in front of the two of them, worrying about the repercussions from Theo and his crazy followers, but he thinks his friend is joining a cult.

  Most of the major players on Wall Street have spiritual advisors or gurus, but from what he’s heard, none of the others ask for as much money or crazy lifestyle changes as Theo does.

  Theo tried to convince Jalen of his mission when he first showed up in their lives, but the high cost of classes and fines for breaking whatever plan they dictate didn’t sit right with Jalen. As soon as Theo determined him and most of the other employees at the fund to be unreceptive, he set his sights on Robbie and pursued him with a passion. Ever since then, his hooks have been sunk into Robbie.

  “Fine,” Theo says as he turns away from the office to look at Robbie. “Just the three of us shall go to the game.”

  Jalen hates that Theo’s assumed his invitation when this was supposed to be a bro hangout.

  “I just bummed tickets off of George, so I’ll wait until we know who wins the other pennant. Hopefully, I can ask Ben to let us sit in the visiting owner’s box.”

  “But wouldn’t it be so much more fun to watch a game with George’s reactions?” Jalen asks.

  “Do you enjoy being verbally and emotionally abused?” Robbie laughs. “I can hire a new boss for you to report to if that is your best motivation tactic.”

  “I’d be happy to offer my services,” Theo says as he moves behind Robbie’s desk. He stands behind Robbie’s shoulder, wanting to make the power dynamic clear. “I can’t recall the last time we had a session, Jalen. Is your success plan playing out as you envision?”

  “Yeah, I’m good, thanks.”

  Jalen hears his name called from the main office and decides he’s spent enough time around Theo for the day. The yelling is probably their compliance officer, Wyatt, wanting to question him about another decision he’s made. Jalen chuckles to himself as he thinks about the choice he’s making. Even a lawyer auditing his work is more enjoyable to be around than Theo.

  Watching him leave Robbie’s office, Theo doesn’t bother trying to hide his smile. As soon as Jalen stands up, he comes around the desk and follows him to the door. He’s happy to close it to give him and Robbie some privacy and alone time.

  Jalen doesn’t like leaving his best friend alone with Theo, especially when he hears the door close behind him. But he recognizes this is a war that was lost long ago. There isn’t much he can do beyond shoot Theo a dirty look through the glass. The markets are open and he has work to do.

  Chapter Five

  Maya again feels self-conscious in her own clothes. As she walks back through the restaurant, Maya imagines every eye is on her, judging her dress. She knows its price tag was a fraction of most of the clothes in this dining room. It’s the main reason she waited so long to go to the bathroom. Maybe Robbie can take her shopping for their next date?

  As she returns to their table, Maya tries to push the feelings of inadequacy from her mind. Like a proper gentleman, Robbie stands up from his seat and pulls her chair out.

  “Thanks for coming with me tonight,” Robbie says as he sits back down. “I’ve been dying to try this restaurant for weeks.”

  “It’s only been open for a few weeks,” Maya laughs. “I can’t believe you scored reservations to one of the city’s hottest new openings.”

  “Ah, I’ve done some work for the owners before.”

  “Well, you’re lucky I’m not leaving town until tomorrow morning. It allows us to have this exquisite evening together first.”

  “Cheers to that,” Robbie says as he lifts his water glass for a toast.

  Maya reciprocates the toast with her martini. She’s doing her best to avoid looking around the restaurant, so she focuses on admiring Robbie instead. This is their third time out together and he’s dressed immaculately in a suit as always. Maya can’t see any labels on it and suspects he has them custom made from some fancy, expensive tailor.

  While she’s looking at him, Robbie’s looking around the restaurant and offering polite smiles and slight waves to the other patrons he recognizes. The dining room is hosting a prestigious collection of Manhattan high society this evening. Many are either current or former clients of Robbie’s. Some are his rivals. One in particular, Gilbert Bell, has his attention.

  “How did your entree live up to expectations?” Maya asks. “My fish was spectacular.”

  Lost deep in thought, Robbie doesn’t seem to hear her comment.

  “I mean, it should be for the prices on this menu,” Maya continues. “I’d expect them to be at the docks first thing this morning for the freshest catch, if the chefs aren’t out on a boat themselves.”

  Still no reaction from across the table, so Maya snaps her fingers in his face. She doesn’t care about the high-class setting, she doesn’t like being ignored. Plus, in her mind, she already has too much attention from around the restaurant. She may as well have her date’s attention.

  “Earth to Robbie.”

  “Sorry, what were you saying?” Robbie takes another sip from his water glass to break out of his trance and refocus on Maya.

  “I was talking about my dinner, to myself apparently, and asking how yours was?”

  “Delicious, yeah. The mushroom caps are cooked beautifully and these potatoes make a great side dish.”

  “You know, I think you’re the first Wall Street guy I’ve ever seen ordering vegetarian at a steakhouse. What’s up with that?”

  Robbie sighs, fighting the hunger deep inside him, craving one of the menu’s famous Wagyu steaks. They may have only been open for a few weeks, but Robbie’s heard about the steaks from way too many of his colleagues. If Teddy hadn’t come down so hard on him yesterday, he’d be finishing up a trio of medallions instead of a damn mushroom.

  “My spiritual advisor is strongly against meat consumption. He says it’s bad karma that will prevent me from achieving my success plan.”

  “You’re one of those guys with a spiritual advisor?” Maya asks as she fights to keep an open mind.

  “Yeah, I’m a member of POTCH. They’re a self-help group that’s done wonders for my career. The success plans we craft together focus my mind and make the goals feel more attainable.”

  “How long have you been with them?”

  “Oh, it’s a few years now. The time has flown by, I can talk to Teddy for hours without noticing more than a few minutes have passed.”

  “Do you think their advice works?”

  Maya’s hoping Robbie dismisses the question and just says that they make him feel better. She doesn’t want him thinking anyone else is responsible for any of his success. If their relationship works, she certainly doesn’t want Robbie to credit some spiritual guru for what she’s responsible for.

  “Oh, yeah. Their advice is guiding me to incredible success, but there are some sacrifices along the way.”

  Maya worries she might quickly become one of those sacrifices. “Is that why you’re not joining me with this bottle of wine?”

  Robbie nods his head and takes another sip from his glass, wishing it wasn’t water.

  “But you were drinking at
the campaign fundraiser last week?” Maya asks in an attempt to understand how firm his commitment is to these guidelines.

  “Have you ever tried dealing with Chris while sober?”

  While Robbie bursts out laughing, Maya only joins in with a polite giggle. Soberly dealing with Chris is an unfortunate aspect of her job. She knows she broke the rules a bit at the last fundraiser, but she chalks that up to Robbie’s bad influence. Thinking about it while Robbie’s still laughing, she does have to admit that his plan is sound. She would much prefer dealing with Chris and some other political hacks after a few numbing drinks.

  “I couldn’t survive the evening,” Robbie continues. “But it cost me a pretty penny when Teddy came back.”

  “How much is he charging you?”

  “It’s part of the POTCH ideology. We believe that donations begin the process of making up for transgressions.”

  The topic of money is quickly closing Maya’s open mind. Sure, anything related to self-help can cost its beneficiaries, but charging people to eat meat or have a drink? This just sounds like a miserable way to live. She’s not sure why Robbie would have ever agreed to it. Plus, in her mind, calling it an ideology makes it sound nefarious.

  “So he fines you if you break the rules?” Maya asks, the concern seeping into her voice.

  “Not exactly,” Robbie says as he loosens his tie. He’s kept it properly on to look nice for the duration of their meal, but this conversation is putting enough pressure on him. He always worries he sounds defensive when he starts describing POTCH to people. He needs better oxygen flow to take a few breaths and calm the conversation down. “I’m the one choosing to make the donations when he suggests one is helpful. No one forces me.”

  “What kind of things cause these donations?”

  Maya’s reporter side is starting to come out. She really likes Robbie so far, but she doesn’t like the sounds of this. If it’s the reason a relationship doesn’t take off, she at least wants to see if she can get a story from it.

  “Well, I’ll be making donations for skipping the gym last week, eating some meat, and drinking the alcohol with you.”