by Lynde Lakes
Luke nodded in commiseration, then backed up and made a U-turn. He glanced at Amber. “The sooner we get away from here the better. I’m taking the Merc back to the rental place. Now that the killers have a make on it, we can’t chance keeping it overnight.”
After filling out the damage report and exchanging cars, they drove back to the motel silently, both deep in their own thoughts. They picked up the food and took it to the room. Luke knew food was the last thing on Amber’s mind, but they hadn’t eaten all day, and they needed to keep up their strength.
Amber paced in front of the beds, rubbing her arms. “That poor woman. What do you suppose happened?”
“My guess is, the kidnappers knew Evie saw them grab Coco and went back to silence her,” Luke said. “They must’ve questioned her first, and somehow got the description of our car. Maybe she even told them she gave us the journal.”
Amber closed her eyes a moment. “You think Coco’s dead, too, don’t you?”
“You want it straight?”
She nodded.
“They’ve killed everyone who got in their way. Coco fits that category.”
Amber trembled. “And I fit that category, too.”
Luke couldn’t deny it. How could he make her feel safe?
She began to pace again. “I can’t stand this. They know what I look like, but I don’t know them.”
Luke gripped her shoulders. “There’s nothing more we can do tonight. So, we’re going to eat and calm down.” He lifted Amber’s chin and looked into her eyes. “Deal?”
Thoughts of the last time they had kissed consumed him, stole the air from his lungs. But if she gave the slightest encouragement he knew he wouldn’t stop at kisses. She moistened her lips, tempting him beyond what any man should have to endure.
“Deal,” she said softly.
He grasped her arms and sat her down on the bed farthest from the entry and handed her one of the cartons of food. He sat across from her on his bed. They ate in silence for a few minutes, then he shoved his half empty carton aside. “We’re going to get through this.”
“Thanks for being here for me.”
He grabbed his Stetson from the center of the bed and tipped it to her. “My pleasure, ma’am.”
A small smile curved her lips. He knew that halfhearted gesture was difficult for her, and he could see from the brightness in her eyes that she was trying not to cry. He joined her on her bed, and slipped his arm around her shoulders.
“I keep thinking about all the people who have died,” Amber said, “Mr. Rhoades, Elmer, and now Evie. It seems everyone who helps me—” Luke touched her lips with the tip of his finger to silence her, but she defiantly finished her sentence. “Dies,” she said. “And I couldn’t live with myself if—”
He brought his lips down on hers to cut off her words. The moment their lips met, flames leapt between them. Her stunned eyes revealed she felt it, too. She stilled for a moment, then her warm hands slid up his chest, snaked over his shoulders, circling the back of his neck, and drew him closer. Her lips went all soft and pliable, and her mouth opened to him. He tasted her sweetness with his tongue, and she met his exploration with an urgency that surprised him. Like a Texas wildfire, the rising heat ignited their world with something so wide sweeping and all-powerful that, if he didn’t pull away, their lives would be changed forever. Even if he could handle that, what about Amber? De La Fuente’s words whispered at the back of Luke’s mind with the subtlety of a jackhammer. Luke frowned. At stake were his honor and Amber’s well-being. He untangled himself from her arms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you. I want you to feel safe here. Safe with me.”
She closed her eyes a moment as though to regain her composure. When she spoke, her words came out softly. “Then help me block out my waking nightmares for a little while, my fear, so I can feel normal again.” She moved close, and dipped her hand inside the opening of his shirt, heating his blood to the boiling point. Amber’s fragrance wafted around him. Her skin still flushed from their kiss, carried an enticing musky scent, uniquely Amber.
Luke swallowed. He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. The walls seemed to close in, swaddling them in a flame of intimacy.
“Help me forget, please, Luke, just for tonight.” Her hand slid over his chest, warm and restless as a hot Texas wind. Her voice deepened to something sultry, smoky. “No commitments, no complications, just us connecting this one time.” Her eyes were unfathomable green pools. They darkened, softened, daring him to surrender. She lifted her lips to his, waiting for his answer.
His throat constricted. He gripped her shoulders, drinking in her loveliness like a thirsty man lost in the desert. A pulse throbbed in her throat. He longed to touch the pulsing point, and match his own heartbeat to hers. Sweat broke out between his thighs just thinking about what she was offering…
Chapter Ten
Amber’s heart pounded. She could scarcely breathe. A smoldering look flickered in Luke’s eyes, and he gripped her shoulders like a lifeline, his fingers sending tiny flames coursing through her body. His hesitancy lashed the air like a whip.
He swallowed. “Not now.” The anguish in his tone hit her with the force of a right cross. She expected him to release her, but he hung on fiercely. It was as though he needed the contact as much as she did.
“Are you locked into an honor-bound vow with yourself, or is Matt behind this?”
“Matt? Hell, no.” Luke’s voice was ragged. His sultry once-over sent a tremor through her. “I told you. It’s those drugs the doc gave you. He said it takes seven days to get them out of your system. And I won’t take advantage of you.”
She would tell him to go to hell, but she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. “Misguided chivalry. Drugs aren’t controlling me. Fear is.”
His gaze never left her eyes, making her squirm. “So, it’s all right for me to take advantage of you since it’s just fear,” he said with a hard edge to his voice. “Right?”
A distant siren wailed, piercing the walls of their sanctuary and screaming that big city dangers lurked somewhere beyond the motel door. Amber grabbed two handfuls of his shirt front to keep from falling apart. “Wrong. We can use each other. Tonight I don’t want to think. I just want to feel emotions strong enough to block out everything else. I know you want that, too. I see it in your eyes.”
“Your recovery is too important to mess up. It’s just a few more days.”
She heard the we’re-not-discussing-this-anymore finality to his tone. He was the most stubborn man she’d ever met. She might not win this clash of wills, but the challenge pushed the fear to the back of her mind. It was a good sign that Luke was still holding her.
Music came from the adjoining room—This Could Take All Night by Amanda Marshall. Amber was learning she wasn’t a patient woman. She stroked Luke’s shirt sleeve and felt a hard muscle flex beneath her fingers. “You had an idea to help me remember faster. What was that about? I thought—”
“What? No. No.” He slid his hands from her shoulders, but he didn’t step away. “I meant we could do some free association exercises. The doc suggested it.”
She’d learned something else about herself. She made her own rules. “I’m game. What’s the start word?”
He studied her suspiciously. “Childhood.”
“Virgin,” she quipped.
He frowned. “Play fair.”
“Why? You don’t. Suppose making love is the key to opening the rest of my memory cells, and you deny me that? Maybe if I remembered everything, I would know exactly what’s going on, and who’s behind it all. Imagine. This all could be over.”
He groaned. “If I believed that…”
Her heart pounded. Another tiny push and she’d have him. “I could have been mangled or died today when those guys hit our car. They could have put a bullet through me. How would you like to die and never know if you’d ever made love?”
He shook his head. “Go
od shots, Amber. Right to the heart. But I’m not folding. Determination is all that holds me together.”
She knew that. Determination to not drink, determination to be a good dad, and now, determination not to make love to her. But his steadfastness only heightened her resolve. Amber smiled when she remembered something Mr. Rhoades used to say a lot. To make a deal, both people had to perceive they had won on some level. Remembered! She’d remembered! Every small memory was so sweet. “Okay,” she said, trying to tamp down the excitement in her voice. “I get it. You can’t make love to me—it’s an honor thing. I can respect that.”
He looked at her skeptically. “You can?”
“Of course. But I didn’t take any vow.” She moved very close to him and stroked his chest. “So let me love you. You don’t have to do anything but hold me. How’s that?”
“A test of wills.” He laughed hollowly. “It won’t work, Amber. Once I make up my mind to something, I’ll stick with it even if it tears my guts out. And I reckon this will.”
“You don’t know the half of it, cowboy. You’ve already kissed me, so I assume kissing is permitted, right?”
He groaned. “I won’t take part in this insanity.” But he didn’t move away.
She gave a saucy smile. “Play it your way.” And I’ll play it my way, she thought, drawing his head down and scattering little kisses around his mouth. She paused and looked up at him. “You know, it’s unnerving for someone to know more about you than you know about yourself.”
“Talking about you, or me?” His unrelenting gaze held hers.
She smiled. “Hmmm. Are you afraid I know more about you than you know about the wild and reckless Mr. Luke Ryan? Interesting.”
He caressed her back absently. Warm feelings rippled throughout her body. She traced his lips with her tongue and then thrust it into a mouth salty from ham and sweetened by raisin sauce, delving to the depths in a familiar, seductive way. Had she seduced a man before? It came so natural. She shivered at the possible implications, and withdrew her lips from his long enough to murmur in a breathless voice, “Maybe I’m not a virgin.”
“Amber—”
She cut off his words with another probing kiss, and although he was holding back some, he was responding. “Just hold me,” she murmured between kisses. She felt his heart pounding like wild drums against her breasts. She stepped back a little, then lowered her head and feathered kisses down the opening in his shirt. The scent of his warm skin, so uniquely Luke, made her want more than that narrow path of salty skin. Amber yanked on his shirt. The snaps gave. She moved close again and continued her open mouth kisses and flicks of tongue downward from his solid chest along the narrow line of fine, dark hair down the center of his bare abdomen. His breath thickened as she dipped her hand below his belt and stroked his lower belly. Flames shot through her as her hand inched to his maleness.
****
Luke’s stomach muscles tightened to ridges of steel, and he cursed under his breath. “You’re really enjoying putting me through hell, aren’t you? That alone proves drugs are still in your system.” He grabbed her by the arms and held her away. “We’ll finish this in a couple of days,” he growled. “No sooner.”
The anguish, the utter suffering, in his husky tone cut through her. She wasn’t being fair, trying to make him break a vow just to ease her fears. “Forget it, cowboy.” Her voice cracked like a breaking plastic heart. “This was a bad idea, anyway.”
She raced into the bathroom and slammed the door. She leaned against the cool wood surface and closed her eyes tightly, refusing to let the tears come. Her face flamed thinking of her failed seduction. Luke had stuck to his principles. After her temptress act, he probably wondered if she had any principles at all. She groaned. How ironic. Now he thought less of her, and she admired him more than ever. Her heart was getting more deeply entangled—a dangerous thing when she might have to leave any day, and a risky thing when he wasn’t free to love her the way she wanted to be loved.
Amber waited inside until she was sure he had gone to bed, busying herself with showering and washing her hair.
An hour later, when she slipped out into the darkness, she noticed he had opened the drapes to light her way with silvery moonlight. When she stole into her bed, he went into the bathroom and eased the door closed. She heard the toilet flush. Then, the spray of the shower.
She could imagine him standing under cool needles, fighting his desire. The door didn’t fit tight in the frame, and she smelled shampoo. Her fantasy deepened. Maybe the water wasn’t cool at all. Maybe it was steamy. Very steamy. Was he massaging bubbles into his inky hair, kneading them into a crown of foam? After he had rinsed his hair, he would raise his muscled arms and slick back his glistening mane. Now he was sliding his hands downward, stroking the bar of soap over his firm pecs, his washboard belly, dropping to scrub his maleness until it rose with a powerful erection. She flushed. While she’d showered, had he thought of her as she was thinking of him? God, she was a mess. He had rejected her, and while she knew he hadn’t wanted to, his control was admirable, but so infuriating.
The door to the bathroom opened and the light behind Luke spotlighted his wide-shouldered, lean silhouette. No Greek statue had ever been more elegant. His dark briefs clung like skin. He slid into the other bed with the agility of a sleek panther, rustling the sheets. Luke lay still a few moments, as though listening to her breathing, then he turned and faced the wall. It was only seconds before he moaned and turned back. He kicked at the cotton sheet restlessly and exposed his abdomen and thighs. Amber’s heart pounded, imagining those strong legs tangled with hers.
Luke took a deep breath, then exhaled heavily. He patted the place beside him. “Come here, Amber.”
She stiffened and lay as still as possible.
When she didn’t move, he shifted like the wind, propelled himself into her bed, and he drew her into his arms. They felt so warm, so strong. “I’m here for you, Amber. Maybe not the way you want me. But I’m holding you all night. Think about that. I will be.”
He smelled of soap and clean skin. She sighed and let herself relax into his hold. Neither of them would get much sleep, but he had given her something else to think about. She did feel safe now. Very safe.
****
Luke had chosen the truck stop near the private airport for breakfast hoping the trucking atmosphere would jog Amber’s memory. She hummed softly as she read the menu. It had been a night of torture for them, yet she seemed to have forgiven him. He was still trying to forgive himself. Had he been wrong to stick to his guns? Shoot, it was strictly for her sake. He wasn’t trying to prove he was in control. A cold chill shot through him. Or was he? Blast it, what if he was more like Matt than he wanted to admit? The truth was, so far he hadn’t been able to control anything except his own actions. One thing was for sure, somehow he would make it up to Amber for denying her what she’d asked for—what they both wanted.
After they ordered pancake sandwiches and their hot drinks, black coffee for him and English Breakfast tea for Amber, Luke started the word association game. “Long haul trucker,” he said, expecting Amber to say Elmer.
She took a sip of tea and thought a moment. A wrinkle-faced man with a curved spine limped past their table. Amber followed him with her gaze all the way to the cashier counter.
“Grandpa,” she said with surprise in her tone.
“Your grandpa was a trucker?”
Her eyes brightened. “Sometimes he took me with him—he said going from state to state was a great geography lesson, and meeting folks from other places was an eye-opening study of human nature. He claimed you could always count on truckers when you were in trouble.”
Luke leaned forward and gripped her hand. “That’s why you went to the truck stop when you were in trouble—why you trusted Elmer.”
“It’s also probably why the traveling job appealed to me. I liked seeing places, meeting people. And once the house sold I had no ties to Edinburg.”
<
br /> “Edinburg, Texas?”
“Yes…Yes…Oh, my God! I’m from Edinburg! I have friends there. A bank account. Furniture in storage.”
Amber’s eyes glazed over as though she was caught somewhere in the past. She was silent a moment, then she said, “My best friend Ellen and I argued over my job. She thought the position with Mr. Rhoades was a sex setup and begged me not to go.”
Luke wanted to say she should have listened to her, but he held his tongue. Amber was remembering, and he didn’t want to say anything to stop her.
“But Ellen hadn’t met Mr. Rhoades. She didn’t understand that I needed to escape the small town and leave my memories of losing my family behind. Or my need to find out who I was deep inside.” Amber’s breath caught. Then, she gave a hollow laugh. “It seems even before I lost my memory I was searching desperately to find out exactly who I was.” She stared into her tea cup as though the answer might be there.
Luke reached over and squeezed her hand. He wanted to promise her they would find out together, but not yet, not here. “Don’t stop now. Focus on your job with Rhoades—on the papers or documents you might’ve typed.”
She closed her eyes, her face tense. “Nothing’s coming.”
He felt the uncertainty he often felt when digging a well and finding a boulder. Should he go around, or blast through? This called for dynamite, he decided. “Think of the week before Rhoades was killed.” Luke was acutely aware of his heart throbbing in his ears—of the sweat soaking the underarms of his shirt. “Try names, companies.”
“Nothing. I’m sorry, Luke.”
The frustration in her tone knotted his stomach. He was pushing too hard, just what the doctor warned him not to do. He left his seat and slid into the booth beside her. “It’s okay, Amber,” he said drawing her into his arms. He kissed her temple. “Take a deep breath. We’ll forget this for now, and enjoy our breakfast.”
“Wait.” She looked up at him with bright eyes. “I’ve got something. Mr. Rhoades had repeated dealings with a man named Daniels.”
