by Skyler Snow
I will not fuck this up for him. He’s so young. I shivered at the feeling of arousal. It shot through me making my chest feel tight and squeezing the air out of my lungs. But isn’t that why he’s so attractive? That youth, the wide eyes, the sweetness before life crushes it. All of it was so appealing.
It was difficult not to make the comparison between Elliot and past lovers. The same slim build, fragile strength, and delicate beauty. They had all been younger than me, too. Not as young as Elliot, and none of them quite had the spark that Elliot did.
Maybe it was just a fluke.
I just need to get some sleep. I thought to myself. This could wait until later. Or more appropriately, never. I told myself it would go away when I wasn’t buzzed and exhausted.
It wasn’t doing me any good worrying in my kitchen in the middle of the night. I turned off all the lights, careful to be especially quiet, although I doubted that Elliot would wake up. He’d seemed pretty out of it when he stumbled into his room just a half hour ago, and I hadn’t heard anything from him since.
I made my way to my room and saw that Elliot’s door was still open. My hand instinctively went to close it, but I couldn’t help glancing inside.
Elliot was sprawled on his bed in nothing but his underwear. He must have passed out before he could even crawl under the sheets. His pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight that weakly made its way in through the blinds. My face burned with embarrassment as I fought to tear my eyes away but found myself frozen.
I was mesmerized by the curve of his back, the smoothness of his skin, the way that his body moved as he breathed.I quickly shook my head. I wasn’t about to stare at him while he was asleep. I found myself stumbling backward and closing the door with a loud thump.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited, imagining Elliot waking up and questioning me as to why I was outside of his bedroom. Instead, there was the sound of a groan and then silence.
“Jesus H. Christ,” I whispered, backing away. I rushed into my bedroom, locking the door behind me and leaning on it. My heart was still racing in my chest and heat burning in my face as the reality of the situation began to sink in.
I was attracted to Elliot. More than I’d ever been attracted to anyone. Who would have thought that the twenty-four-year-old living in my apartment for the next few weeks would be exactly my type?
Ooooh, and yeah, he also happened to be my best friend’s kid.
“Shit!”
3
Elliot
I woke up to the smell of food wafting through the air and a faint headache burning in my temples. It was already bright in my bedroom and from the stiffness in my joints, I knew that I had been sleeping for a long while. I only gave myself a moment to enjoy the silence before rolling out of bed and trying to start the day.
My clothes still littered the floor and I kicked them aside. They weren’t very clean anyway. I opened one of my bags and rummaged through it for a moment before pulling out a clean outfit. A pink tee and pale, washed-out jeans. I was comfortable with Scott and I knew I was welcome, but that didn’t mean I was going to be wandering around his house in my boxers.
I opened the door and went to the bathroom, washing up for the day before walking into the kitchen. Scott sat at the table and the smell of eggs and toast filled the room.
“Good morning!”
Scott jumped at the sound of my voice. He turned around and looked no more relaxed once he realized it was me.
“Good morning, Elliot. I’ve made you breakfast.” He nodded at the plate of food already left on the table and I took a seat. His voice didn’t seem as casual as it had yesterday, or maybe it was the alcohol that made him so comfortable. Maybe he was fighting a hangover. Or maybe I was and I was reading into things.
I ate quickly and in silence as Scott ate his own breakfast at the other side of the table. His plate was larger than mine, piled with more food, but that made sense. He was probably twice my size. He probably worked out every day, unless he was just some sort of muscular freak.
The tension in his shoulders never dropped and he never offered conversation. It was unlike him to be so tense. He had always been so laid-back. Scott seemed perfectly fine just last night, but maybe something had happened? I was a little worried that maybe something was wrong. Maybe he was second-guessing me living with him. I hoped that wasn’t the case. I didn’t really have anywhere to go.
“Well, I’m going out to meet up with some friends. I’ll be back later today and maybe we can hang out again...” He didn’t reply, so I added, “Like yesterday.” He still didn’t say anything. The awkward silence weighed heavily on me and I was desperate to get out of the apartment. Maybe some time alone would help Scott relax. If he needed space, then I wanted to give it to him.
“Of course. Take care of yourself, Elliot.” Scott stayed sitting at the table and there was something strained in his voice. He didn’t necessarily sound angry; he sounded more conflicted.
I left quickly and texted Connie that I would be there soon. I slung my backpack over my shoulder. It was filled with art supplies I would need. Of course, I had slept in a few hours, and everyone else was already at her house, but they wouldn’t mind. It was the first time that we would ever be meeting each other face to face after so many years of our online friendship. The nervousness wiped away the awkwardness of breakfast.
I quickly ordered an Uber and in a flash I was standing in front of Connie’s front door. A familiar wave of tightness washed over me. I had known all these people for years; we were all online artists. Now, I was meeting them for the first time in person. It felt like a huge deal. What if they didn’t like me in person?
I lifted my hand to knock on the door. The rumbling of conversation I heard stopped as the sound of footsteps approached me. A familiar face, tanned and framed with long black hair and a stunning smile, greeted me. Connie stood in front of me and we both nervously smiled at each other, taking a moment to stare each other up and down.
“Elliot’s here!” Connie shouted over her shoulder before pulling me into a hug. She was shorter than I was, by a good few inches, but much stronger than me. She took my hand and pulled me into her apartment, which was painted a calming light blue.
More familiar faces turned to look at me. They were all my friends and Connie’s roommates, as well as my future coworkers. It almost felt like we were strangers for a moment before they all scrambled to their feet to greet me.
“God, you’re ugly!” Tom was the first and most friendly, pulling me into a hug. He was taller than me, had dark hair, and freckled cheeks. We had known each other the longest and our friendship had grown immensely. It felt strange that it was the first time we had ever met each other, because we didn’t feel like strangers.
“Shut up!” I playfully shoved him away before another person came up to me. Isaac, wearing a T-shirt proudly showing off some obscure anime that he was always rambling about. He was shyer than the rest. Isaac smiled at me, his white teeth a stark contrast against his dark skin.
“Well, now that you’re here we can get started,” Connie said, clapping her hands. I looked into the living room, where various art supplies had been abandoned. Several drawing tablets, little wooden models, and sketch pads littered the floor. Alongside of them were pillows and blankets. It looked hauntingly similar to my bedroom floor. It sent a warm feeling humming through my chest. “So, since you’re the newest one on our team, you can choose what we draw first.”
It was a game we used to play. One of us would choose a word, then we would have ten minutes to draw whatever image first popped into our minds. We had played it hundreds of times online. This was the first time we were going to be able to play it together in person.
I took a seat on a pillow, pulling out my laptop and tablet. Tom gave me a disgusted look as we all settled down on the floor.
“Digital artists. Ugh,” de said with mock disgust, picking up his sketch pad with a flick of his wrist. We all rolled our
eyes, knowing how Tom loved to stir up drama. “Thankfully, we have at least one real artist in our midst.”
“Tom, you spend half of your workday drawing porn of the characters you make,” Connie said, picking up her own drawing tablet. Isaac and I had to muffle our laughter, although Tom didn’t seem affected by her comment at all.
“And it’s pretty damn good porn,” he said, with a smile. The conversation settled down and three pairs of eyes turned to look at me. I was holding my stylus in one hand and my tablet in the other. My face broke into a smile as I looked around at the faces of my friends around me.
“Let’s start with… flower,” I said finally.
The day passed quickly, full of quiet, focused moments broken up by laughter and praise. Tom showed off his overly lewd sketches for our amusement and silent surprise at the detail that he was able to capture. Connie was excellent with colors and shading with her seamless palette. Isaac showed off more detailed, action-filled drawings. It was so easy to see how they were able to work together so well. I could feel my own nervousness crawling up my throat, making it hard to breathe. I drew, not daring to glance up at the three artists as I struggled to see the beauty in my own art. It looked plain and bland compared to the others.
But, when we finally got to drawing other people, I found myself holding up my drawing to three slack-jawed faces. A smile grew on my lips as I watched them all fawn over my art as if it was the best thing they’d ever seen. It felt so good that I was excited all over again.
“How are you settling into your new place, Elliot?” Connie asked as we started on the next prompt—heat.
I immediately thought of Scott. The way his muscles rolled and tensed under his skin and the way he smiled at me. Every time it inspired heat to rush through my body. I started to sketch him out before I caught myself and erased every line.
What am I doing? He’s my dad’s best friend! I can’t think about him like that.
“Um, Elliot?” Connie peered at me closely when I looked at her. “Are you okay?”
Right, she’d asked me a question. “Oh, uh yeah, I was concentrating.” I awkwardly laughed it off. “But I think things are going pretty well. I’m staying with a family friend. He’s nice and I’ve known him since forever.”
“Well, you’ll be able to look for your own place soon enough once we get to work. As much as I love my parents and their friends, I couldn’t wait to have some privacy of my own!”
I nodded and smiled tightly. At first, that had been exactly what I wanted, to come here, get out and get a place of my own. Now, I wondered if I really wanted to be away from Scott? Having him around was comforting and I enjoyed his company.
Tom kicked my ankle. “Wake up, Elliot. We’re all drawing and you’re staring out into space.” He searched my face. “Are you okay?”
“Never better,” I said quickly, and yanked up my tablet. “Let’s get back to work.”
I quickly began to draw and tried to focus on my work instead of Scott. There was nothing between us. He’d looked after me since I was a kid and he’d been a good man to our family. I couldn’t sit around having those thoughts about him. I tried to tell myself those things, but my heart squeezed in my chest.
Was this turning into some kind of obsession?
4
Scott
I was sitting on the couch, mostly trying to ignore the conflicting feelings raging in my chest. With every passing second it became more and more evident that this… attraction toward Elliot wouldn’t be a passing one. Right now, it was shallow but it was a fiery attraction, nonetheless.
I ignored the voice in my head telling me to call or text him and find out where he was and what he was up to.
That is not your place, Scott. No matter how much I reminded myself of that, I couldn’t stop my eyes from straying to the clock. What if something had happened to him? What if he was stranded? What if he was out with someone who made his heart race and his chest clench?
The sound of the front door startled me. I almost jumped as I snapped back to reality. Elliot came rushing into the apartment, his chest heaving and a dazzling smile on his face.
“Hey, Scott, look at this!” He swung his backpack onto the table, quickly pulling out his laptop. Plopping down on the couch next to me he pulled up a picture.
I forgot about the tension I’d felt while I basked in his excitement that was clear as day from the glow in his cheeks. I could stare at him forever when he glowed like that.
I leaned in to study the picture.
It was almost like Elliot was a child again, running up to me with his hand full of papers with crayon drawings of houses and animals. Except this time the drawing in front of me wasn’t colorful scribbles. It was a detailed work of art, and he was an enthusiastic man.
Wow, that’s really impressive!
A marble statue with a setting sun’s light glancing off the polished surface. A man drawing up a bow, muscles pulled tense in his shoulder with his expression drawn in sorrow. But through it all you could see the determination in his eyes and the lines in his shoulder. Loose, draping ropes clung off his muscular frame. Even on a tablet screen and drawn as a marble statue, the man looked realistic enough to be a person that I might see on the street.
“You… You drew this?” I couldn’t take my eyes off his work, still lost in the man’s expression. There was something about it that suggested barely restrained fury, that called out for blood. It was unsettling to look at. Still, I kept on tilting my head trying to make out more detail. Besides the gray shadows and the amber light reflected off the marble, there wasn’t any color. It almost seemed like it was begging to have life breathed into it.
“Yeah, my friends and I did a couple of drawings. I’m going to be working with them soon, so I thought it might be nice to get used to drawing with them in person.” Elliot’s voice was light and breathy as he looked over his art with critical eyes. I watched him as he scanned over every detail. He bit his lips and a furrow appeared in his brow. I knew he was likely searching for a flaw.
I wanted to tell him I couldn’t see one, only the words caught in my throat. I wasn’t sure if I was referring to the painting or the beautiful boy sitting beside me.
There was an intensity in his gaze that drew me in. Still, I wanted to smooth out the furrow in his brow and soothe the lip he was chewing, but I stopped myself.
I knew what was expected of me, so I said, “It’s pretty damn good art.” I heard the thickened words in my throat and had to clear it, but thankfully Elliot didn’t seem to notice. He was too ecstatic showing off his work and telling me about it.
I couldn’t freeze up again and risk making things awkward like I had done at breakfast. I saw the glimmer of relief in his eyes as he smiled at me, gently leaning on my shoulder as a thanks. I wanted to stay sitting with him just like that, his arm against mine as that huge smile stayed on his lips and his eyes glowed.
He nudged my shoulder. “Better than the last piece of art you saw me do, huh?” Elliot jumped up to his feet and grabbed his backpack before I could reply. “I’m sorry for being out for so long. We can have some drinks and talk tonight again if you’d like!”
“Of course.” My voice trailed off as he darted into his room, shutting the door this time. I was alone thankfully, if only for a little while. It was damn near impossible for me to ignore the young man in my guest room.
He wasn’t just beautiful; Elliot was amazingly talented. I wasn’t sure what I expected of him. For some reason, the emotion he managed to pack into a simple drawing didn’t seem possible for a twenty-four-year-old. Or for anyone, really. I’d never been the artistic type, so seeing his work screamed experience.
Or maybe you're looking for excuses to make him seem more mature. Even thinking that made me feel like an old man.
It didn’t stop the heated feeling in my chest or how it threatened to spill over like last night. When I had found myself standing at his bedroom, staring at him sleeping. For a split se
cond, when he was sitting beside me, smelling like heaven and touching me, I was fucking tempted to just lean in. Just to see what his reaction might be.
The ache in my body grew. I craved reaching out and touching him. And I feared it would only get worse. How was I supposed to live with him? I could barely stand being around him without jumping the guy.
It was like warring with myself. I pushed down the feeling as a shiver ran up my spine. My lust was going to get me in trouble. I wanted to scream at my brain for short-circuiting every time Elliot was around, but that was proving difficult. I groaned and pushed my fingers through my hair, gripping it and giving a slight tug to the strands, to center me back in reality.
“I need to stop thinking with my dick.”
5
Elliot
I sat down at the dinner table with a beer in hand, wincing a bit at the taste. Slowly, I was starting to get used to it. Slowly. It was still a little unpleasant, but not unwelcome after hanging out with my friends all day.
Peopling in person was a lot of work.
Of course, it had been a great time, but it was still draining. I felt the stress of the day fall off my shoulders as I sat back, looking over Scott’s figure where he sat on the couch.
There were a few pictures hanging up where Scott was shirtless, usually on some scenic outlook on a mountain. I couldn’t help noticing that he was a muscular and hairy man. Of course you noticed. You were looking pretty closely. For art, of course. After the day of drawing I’d spent with friends, my spark for my art had flared back up. That urge to study and sketch everything I saw came rushing back to me.
And it was pushing me to get up close and personal with Scott, to sketch him. Yeah that’s why you can’t stop staring at him. I scoffed at myself under my breath. Even I couldn’t convince myself that it was all about art. I just wanted to get a little closer...
