“No!” Ashford rushed forward. “I will not have it; you promised to marry me,” he nearly pleaded.
Trying to control her emotions, Kitty looked away as he took her by the shoulders. “Your marrying me will cost you dearly.” Her voice came out small.
“Katherine, look at me,” he demanded of her. “Do you not love me?”
Kitty could deny herself no longer. “Yes, I love you, Clayton; that is why I must let you go. Mr. Darcy will not tolerate your marrying me; you owe your living to him.” Kitty tried to pull away, but Clayton Ashford would have none of it.
“Mr. Darcy does not own me, Katherine; I have my own ideas and my own abilities to provide for you as my wife.You cannot refuse me; I cannot live without you. You scare me when you say such things; my heart cannot take the possibility I may have to spend my life without you.” By now, Ashford’s arms encircled her.
“What will we do?” Kitty buried her face into his shoulder.
Feeling relief at her giving in, he whispered into Kitty’s ear, “First, you will give me your assurance you will still be my wife.”
Impulsively, Kitty kissed along his chin line, punctuating her words with a staccato of kisses. “Clayton Ashford . . . I will . . . marry you . . . and share . . . your life.”
“I may need for you to remind me of your regard from time to time,” Ashford teased as he lifted her chin to look into Kitty’s eyes.
“Any time, my Love,” she smiled at him.
“Then let us together decide what we must do,” he said as he led Kitty to adjoining chairs.
“Elizabeth will not let Mr. Darcy drive her away in shame; she plans to leave on her own terms,” Kitty confided.
“Your sister is a proud woman.”Ashford showed his respect. “Miss Bennet, could Mrs. Darcy be mistaken?”
“Oh, no,” Kitty blushed,“I saw the letter.”
Ashford demanded,“What letter?”
“Lizzy received letters from both Miss Darcy and our Aunt Gardiner indicating Mr. Darcy spends much of his time with a lady of the ton. Elizabeth overheard Mr. Darcy tell Colonel Fitzwilliam he would send my sister away. Today an intimate letter came for Mr. Darcy from the same lady seen with him in London.The lady even included a lock of her hair; how could my sister mistake that? Mr. Darcy does poorly by Elizabeth.”
“I find it hard to believe Mr. Darcy could love anyone but your sister. The look in his eyes when she announced their child spoke volumes of his love.” Ashford reached for Kitty’s hand; speaking of love and children created a powerful need in him to feel her closeness.
“These great men are only concerned with their heirs,” Kitty added as she tightened her hold on Ashford’s hand.
“Never doubt my love for you.” Ashford brought her hand to his lips to kiss it tenderly.
“Nor mine for you,” Kitty returned his regard.
“When will you leave Pemberley?” he asked, dreading her answer.
“Elizabeth must leave soon—before Mr. Darcy’s return. Her condition limits how much time she has before her lying in. I will return to Longbourn tomorrow. My sister will continue her duties for a few days before she follows me; Elizabeth plans to stay with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley at Netherfield.”
“Then I will seek another living; I will come for you as soon as I can secure another position.Will you wait for me, my Dearest?”Ashford was on his knees in front of her once again.
Kitty leaned forward to brush his lips with hers; she heard his quick intake of air.“I will wait; I love you, Clayton.”
Against the rules of conduct, Ashford captured Kitty’s lips with his. She would be gone tomorrow, and he could chastise himself then.
The next day Kitty left for Longbourn. Elizabeth diverted her eyes when Kitty impulsively slipped her arms around Mr. Ashford’s waist and kissed him lightly before stepping into the Darcy carriage.
“Give our parents my love,” Elizabeth said loud enough for the servants to hear.
“I will miss you, Lizzy.” Kitty sniffled and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. “Take care of yourself and the child.” Kitty looked worried.
“I will do my best,” Elizabeth returned as she stepped away from the coach.
Mr.Ashford gave Kitty a proper bow.“Miss Bennet,” he said as he, too, stepped away to allow the coachman free rein, and the coach to slowly pull away.
Elizabeth asked Mr. Ashford in for tea, but he declined, begging off with an excuse of calling on some parishioners. Elizabeth knew the man needed time to assimilate to the changes in his life. With Kitty’s departure, he had to look for another position, and today seemed a good day to start that search.
For the next several days, Elizabeth maintained her regular schedule; she called on several of her favorite tenants. She traveled into Lambton on the premise she needed to have a few new day dresses made.While in the village, she paid one of the street urchins five schillings to mail the letters she wrote. She instructed the child to mail one each day for the next four days. She provided him the additional funds for the posting fees. That matter resolved, Elizabeth returned to Pemberley. Discreetly, she chose clothing and personal items, placing them where she could reach them easily. She planned to leave Lady Anne’s jewelry and the other expensive gifts Darcy gave her. She hated most of all to leave Hero, finally deciding to take the dog with her.
The newspapers provided her two options for her escape. Now, with her time at Pemberley limited, she chose a ship leaving midweek in the first part of the month for the Americas. She would leave out of Bristol. Elizabeth hated taking money from Darcy’s household funds for her trip, but she had no choice. With no fortune of her own, she would depend on her husband one last time.
Likely, she would give birth aboard ship, an idea that petrified her.With no one she knew to help her, she would be at the mercy of strangers. Mr. Harrison gave her the names of several dependable captains and vessels from which to choose.The ship leaving out of Bristol would take her to Virginia. Elizabeth had the names of people to contact upon her arrival in the States. She expected to take a position as a schoolteacher, being given a small house, a place where she could raise her child in private. It was a gamble, but she had no other options. If she stayed in England, she would be a shamed woman, and Darcy would have her child; she had no legal rights.
Everything was in place; now all she had to do was play the role of the concerned daughter, pretending to rush to Hertfordshire to care for a parent.Tomorrow, she would leave Pemberley.
After retiring to her room, Elizabeth penned a letter to Darcy, explaining her actions. She had not been in his study since the day Miss McFarland’s letter arrived. In fact, the letter still lay on the desk, along with the lock of hair. She forbid any of the servants to touch the study—to disturb the evidence she would leave for his eyes—a way to disclose his deceit. Part of her prayed he would feel sorrow at his loss; part of her wanted Darcy to allow her to start over.
30 April
My dearest Fitzwilliam,
By the time you read this, I will be gone from Pemberley and no longer a part of your life. I leave you, my Love, so you may find true happiness with someone of your own kind. I shall love you for the rest of my life, and I thank you for giving me some of the most complete days I ever knew.
I leave behind all the gifts, which rightly belong to whomever you choose to be your wife. I take only a few personal gifts by which to remember you and to remember the love we once knew.
Please do not try to find me. I purposely deceived even my own family for they think I am on my way to Longbourn. Fitzwilliam, I beg you to get on with your life. I will never request more of you than that.The love I once offered you came from knowing the man you were when we came together; knowledge of your wealth and status was never part of the formula.
Tell Georgiana I cherish the love and respect she freely gave me. Having her as a part of my life was a blessing I could never repay.
Upon reflection, my qualms over never being able to replace your
mother as the true Mistress of Pemberley played out.You once told me our love would be freer, more open—more hopeful than the loves our parents knew. If only your words could be true, but I failed as your wife, and now I release you from your promise to me. Be happy, my Love.This will be the last time I will claim the privilege of calling myself
Your loving wife,
Elizabeth Darcy
Elizabeth closed the letter, using the Darcy seal in the hot wax. She left the message on the mantel in their joint sitting room. Others would not find it there, but Darcy would discover it; he regularly stood in front of the fireplace enjoying the heat of the flame; he would see it there.
After a restless night, Elizabeth boarded the small coach, having feigned news of her mother’s worsening health. Mrs. Reynolds clearly did not want her to leave, but Elizabeth, who packed most economically, assured both Mrs. Reynolds and Hannah she would be gone no longer than necessary, which was a back-door lie, but a believable one. Taking Hero made the deception more plausible, and by midmorning Elizabeth was on her way.
Her condition required her to spend the night at an inn. The next morning she told the coachman she received news her mother was taken to Bath for its medicinal waters, and she instructed the coach to take her there.
Arriving in Bath, Elizabeth disembarked at a moderately priced inn.Assuring Darcy’s staff she would not need them any longer because her father’s coach would serve her needs, she sent Darcy’s men home. Reluctantly, they obeyed. Finally, she was alone with no one to which to turn.
CHAPTER 23
“If the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better:
we find comfort somewhere.”
Jane Austen, Mansfield Park, 1814
Darcy kept hours at his club, having put into action his plan to reestablish Elizabeth’s reputation as his wife. He drummed up conversations, turning each discourse to a description of his “amazing” Elizabeth. A few of his closer acquaintances made comments, which indicated they thought his inclination to be elsewhere. Darcy hated the fact his headstrong nature created such a Gordian knot. He wished for nothing more than to be at Pemberley with Elizabeth, but until he could check the rumors surrounding him, he would remain in London.
Mr. Harrison called upon Georgiana as he promised. She greeted him with delight; despite how it might look to others, she rode out with him. They drove through Hyde Park, and then he took her to Gunter’s for the cream ice. Young men risked life and limb waiting on the various carriages peppering the east side of Berkeley Square.
As was proper, Mr. Harrison stopped the curricle and climbed out. Unmarried couples could not sit together in a carriage and talk, but a young man could stand beside the carriage and speak to his ladylove without raising too many eyebrows. A waiter scurried over, and Mr. Harrison turned on his charms, ordering each of them a flavored cream ice and a strong English tea. The waiter disappeared behind another carriage, adroitly darting between the harnesses.
“Miss Darcy, may I speak of your loveliness today?” Harrison smiled up at her.
Georgiana returned his happiness. “It seems, Mr. Harrison, whether I agree or decline, you already made your thoughts known.”
He laughed lightly. “So, I did, fair maiden,” he teased. “Was that not a most advantageous move on my part?”
“You are fortunate, Sir, I possess the disposition to forgive your teasing nature,” Georgiana added.
Harrison overexaggerated his bow to her as he said, “A goddess of beauty and a forgiving disposition—I am blessed among men.”
“Do not forget it, Sir.” Georgiana gave him a pretend pout.
“Never, fair lady.” Harrison’s eyes came to rest upon her, and he lowered his voice so others could not hear. “You, Miss Darcy, are my imagination—my dreams—come to life.” His voice was husky with desire.
Georgiana blushed, but for once, she did not look away. She drank in his face, caressing each line with her eyes. “Mr. Harrison, I should reprimand you for your boldness,” she started.
“Yet, you will not,” he said, in assurance.
“I will not—never to you,” she whispered, unable to remove her eyes from his countenance.
“Georgiana.”The use of her familiar name was an intimate gesture.“I made a promise to your sister Mrs. Darcy, but I now feel that promise to be void.”
Georgiana for a few seconds was lost to the sound of his voice, and Harrison’s words did not register at first.“A promise to Elizabeth?” she asked.
Mr. Harrison blushed slightly. “You are aware I promised Mrs. Darcy I would not declare myself to you until your next birthday, but if you are to receive offers in London, I must let you know my dreams lie in your hands.”
“Mr. Harrison,” Georgiana stumbled over the words, “I cannot go against my sister’s wishes; Elizabeth would not ask this of you unless she feared for my future somehow. I trust Elizabeth’s instincts. However, I will promise you this—I will accept no others until my next birthday.”
“Even if your brother insists?” Harrison’s face showed the pain he felt at those words.
“Fitzwilliam will not force me into an unwelcome marriage,” Georgiana tried to assure him.
The waiter returned at that moment, carrying a tray with teacups.They took the offering, amused by the novelty of sharing the tea publicly. When they finished, Mr. Harrison joined Georgiana in the curricle once more and began to maneuver the horses through the crowded street.As they cleared the worst of the clamor, Mr. Harrison leaned toward her. “Georgiana, if Mrs. Darcy was not around, would you feel differently?”
“Why would Elizabeth not be around?” Georgiana looked confused.
Harrison paused, not wishing to betray Elizabeth’s confidences, but needing to claim Georgiana’s affections. “Mrs. Darcy will not, I think, wait for your brother to send her away.”
Georgiana took in his words in all seriousness.“My brother stays in London only to squelch the rumors; otherwise, we would be returning to Pemberley.”
“I am pleased to hear it. Mrs. Darcy has my deep respect.”
Georgiana taunted,“Even if my sister keeps us apart?”
“I can tolerate much if I am allowed the opportunity to present myself to you properly.” Harrison brought the carriage to a halt in front of Kensington Place.
Georgiana smiled largely at him. “You will be granted the opportunity, Sir.”
Harrison handed her down from the carriage, allowing himself the pleasure of letting his fingers rest on her waist a few seconds longer than propriety required. “I will be patient, Miss Darcy.”
Henry Dorchester appeared at Kensington Place after dinner. Neither Darcy nor Georgiana expected his call. “Dorchester?” Darcy offered his hand in greeting, but Dorchester returned only a polite bow.
Immaculately dressed, as usual, Henry Dorchester glided to the seat offered by Darcy. Georgiana sat quietly in a corner, attending to her embroidery. Dorchester took out his handkerchief to wipe the glass of port Darcy handed him while Darcy sucked in his breath in contempt.“Dorchester, this is an unexpected pleasure.” He seated himself across from the man.
The visitor looked about the room, allowing his eyes to come to rest on Georgiana. “Maybe, Mr. Darcy, we should speak without an audience.”
“I have no secrets from my sister, Dorchester.” Darcy’s voice indicated how unhappy this conversation made him.
“Very well then,” Dorchester began, “some of what I have to say involves Miss Darcy as well.”
Darcy offered the man no encouragement; the expression on his face showed no emotions. Finally, Dorchester cleared his throat.“Mr. Darcy, my mission is a delicate one, and it pains me to come here this evening.” Darcy did not respond; his expression did not change, but if Dorchester knew him better, he would recognize the danger in angering him. When Darcy offered no comment, Dorchester took the freedom of taking the conversation to the next level. “My family takes offense, Sir, with your actions toward my cousin Cecelia. You p
layed poorly by her.”
“I take offense, Sir, your family thought I might be so debased as to defile my marriage vows. My wife, Sir, owns my heart now and forever.” Darcy fought the urge to physically remove the man from his house.
Dorchester flushed, not expecting Darcy to respond as such.“I see; you do not intend to even apologize to my cousin for your actions?”
“I do not see I have anything of which to apologize, but if I offended Miss McFarland, I will plead ignorance of my offense.”
“That is not the same as an apology, Mr. Darcy.”
Darcy now displayed an amused smile upon his face. “It is the best I can do under the circumstances.”
“And what of Miss Darcy’s shameful actions today?” Dorchester’s voice rose in inflection. Georgiana’s head shot up; she did not want Darcy to know about her afternoon with Mr. Harrison. “You cannot expect me to offer your sister my regard if she carries on so in public.” Dorchester puffed up with disdain.
“My sister is a fine lady.” Darcy seethed with anger.
“Then you gave your permission for her accompanying a gentleman in public?” Dorchester accused.
Darcy shot his sister a quick glance, and he saw Dorchester’s truths playing on her face. Instinctively, Darcy knew with whom Georgiana spent her time. “Mr. Harrison is a dear family friend; I trust him implicitly with my sister.”
Dorchester did not expect Darcy to give his permission to Georgiana.As her guardian, Darcy must approve of her outing. “I still cannot consider such an alliance under the circumstances, especially if your friendship lies with the likes of Chadwick Harrison.”
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