by J. Naomi Ay
“Oh, that’s lame.” Loran nodded thoughtfully. “Any reason why?”
“He’s not regained consciousness. The doctors think his brain couldn’t handle the trauma. They think he’s brain dead.”
“And, what do you think?”
“Me?” I gasped, surprised by Loran’s question. Loran was about the most shallow and superficial guy you ever met. Never before had he asked me what I thought about anything.
“Yeah, dude. You two were, like, connected. Probably, you still are. Aren’t you feeling his brain vibes or something like that?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I stared out the window at the whiteness. This blizzard looked like it was going to be really bad. “Angelica’s already made the decision, and her’s is the deciding vote.”
“Yeah, well, Angelica is a b-i-itch, and let me tell you, oh radical one headed dude, she always was. Once when I was, like, six, or maybe, I was only, like, five, and I was all dressed up, you know, fancy-like on account we were going to the Palace…”
“Thanks for coming by, Loran,” I interrupted. “You had better get home before the snow traps you here.”
“No problemo, dude. I can stay here as long as you need me. I’m here to ease the pain and strain of your recovery. Anyway, so we were supposed to go to the Palace on account there was some sort of ceremony going on, and because our Grandpa Berkan was such a big fancy doodah, we had prime seats in the very first row.”
“Seriously, Loran. I appreciate your efforts to entertain me, but this blizzard is supposed to be one for the history books.”
Loran blinked rapidly. Like me, he had really light gray-blue, almost colorless eyes. His lashes were completely white blonde. The whole effect made his eyes look like they were constantly crying.
“You don’t want me here?” he asked, looking down at his feet.
I looked down at his feet, too. He was wearing canvas runners that had holes in the toes.
“Where’s your fur boots?” I asked.
Loran was the son of the Duke of Korelesk and Kildoo, as well as a viscount in his own right. His family had more money than anyone except the Emperor, although from what the latest news reports on the Galaxy Wide Web had said, that might not be all that much anymore.
Loran shrugged. “What are you, my grandma?”
“No,” I replied. I may not have been entirely sure who I was at the moment, but I knew I was definitely not his grandmother. “Suit yourself.”
Loran sat down in the chair by my bed and proceeded to explain in great detail exactly what had happened when he was six or maybe, five, at some ceremony at the Imperial Palace when Angelica got bored and decided to make him scream.
“So, there was the Empress glaring at me from way up there on the dais, and my mom was, like, ‘Dude, shut your face,’ but Angelica kept poking her finger in my ear, and of course, nobody saw her doing that until, you know, the Emperor dude looked at her and his eyes shone right in her face. Whoa! That was completely far out, and it, like, froze her there in her seat."
“What?” Somewhere in the middle of his diatribe, I’d lost track of what was going on because Kie had made a sound. It was the first noise he had made since the operation. I bolted out of bed to run to his side. “Kie? What did you say? Speak to me, Kie!”
“Whoa! He lives!”
“Come on, Kie.” I shook his shoulder. “Wake up.”
“Ber?” my brother mumbled.
“Yes, yes?” I cried.
“Ber, get me out of here. Take me someplace safe.”
“What?”
“Radical!” Loran screeched. “Awesome! The dude lives, and we’re going to bust him out of jail.”
“We can’t. Kie, you’ve got to stay here and recuperate.”
“People die in hospitals,” Loran said, suddenly growing serious again. “As your uncle, and elder, I say we break him out of here right now.”
“Since when?” I demanded. “You're not our uncle, and besides that we’re older than you.”
“No, you’re not. You guys are only five and me, being sixteen, makes me your senior. Actually, genetically, B-i-itch Angelica and the magnificent moi are siblings on account of our parents being siblings, so effectively, I am your uncle. Also, I’m Viscount Korelesk, and you dudes are, like, lowly peasants.”
“I want to leave,” Kie murmured, tossing his head back and forth, which was a good thing because it showed that it was firmly attached to his neck.
“I’m going to get a wheelie chair,” Loran declared. “And, then we’ll catch a bus. You got any funds on you, Ber?” Loran turned his pockets inside out. "I am, at this moment, amazingly bereft of coins."
“I've got bus money, but where do you think you're going to take us?”
Loran frowned. “I guess it would have to be Korelesk, into the loving arms, and smothering bosom of Grandma Luci.”
“That’s a long way to take a bus,” I objected. “Especially with two guys who just had radical domectomies.”
“Wait!” Loran gasped. “My brain has just intercepted an important transmission. We’ll go to the Palace, what's left of it anyway. My dad, the Ignoble Duke is there organizing a coup or something. I’m sure they’ve got an extra room or two for us courtly men to crash in.”
The Palace? Immediately, my foolish new heart tripped a little. Princess Sara might be at the Palace, as all the schools were closed due to the storm. "The Palace," I breathed, imagining Sara's delighted face upon meeting the now singular me.
Loran pointed his finger like a gun at my chest.
"I know what you're thinking, home boy. You aim to try out all those new parts. Better check that all your equipment is in order while I head out to find a cart. Heh heh, you dudes are two instead of one." He shook his scraggly head, and strode toward the door. "That’s insanely awesome. We’re going to have a major blast of fun.”
Kie mumbled something again, just as Loran was about to head out into the corridor.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Speak up, my man, my squire, Master Kie."
“Gerble warble wormel derble,” Kie said, or something that sounded approximately like that. He tossed his head again, as if trying to shake off someone or something.
"What'd he say?" Loran asked. "Is he speaking your two-headed vibe?"
"No. I haven't a clue what he's saying. I've never heard a language like that before."
"Warble wormel ga!" Kie shouted, bolting upright and opening his eyes.
“Whoa!” Loran cried.
“Whoa!” I echoed too.
Kie’s eyes were incredibly weird. They had always been blue, a little darker than mine, and near-sighted so that Kie usually wore glasses. Now, they were bright orange, and when he blinked, they seemed to let off an almost golden light.
“Do you think that's because of the operation?” Loran asked. "Or is he possessed?"
“Look at my eyes," I suggested. "They're not doing that. I don’t know what that means, or why they're that way.”
“Take me to the Palace,” Kie ordered. "My master awaits." Then, he promptly passed out on his pillow.
"Definitely possessed," Loran concluded. "Well, that should make this more fun. I'll be back with your chariot and we'll ride."
Chapter 7
Shika
Everyone was sitting around my father’s conference table. There were candles lining the top, casting shadows across the surface, the flames dancing on the dark and gloomy walls.
A few years ago, my mom had tried to redecorate this office. She had the walls stripped of the dark oak paneling and replaced with honey colored maple, and beadboard painted in white. She left the huge stone fireplace as it was, saying that it worked as an accent. She put clever little nautical art pieces here and there.
As you walked in, as you gazed out the huge picture windows at the ocean, it almost felt like the bridge of ancient sea-going ship. It was lighter, and welcoming, for a while. Then, all that shit happened and somehow, this
room, this whole palace became shrouded in darkness.
“Welcome, Your Imperial Highness,” Kinar said.
He was sitting in the first seat to the left of the head, the place he had always occupied, always ready to receive whatever document my dad had passed him, as well as lean his ear over to catch my dad’s whispered instructions.
Seated next to Kinar was my brother, his face and thumbs intent on his tablet.
“Hello Kinar,” I said, taking the seat across. “Rent, do you think you could play Angry Birds later?”
“Fuck you, Steve,” Rent replied, not even bothering to look up. “There’s some kind of riot going on in the city. How many guards do we have here now?”
“A handful,” Lord Garing replied from further down the table. “We haven’t been able to pay anyone for months. Most of them have walked off the job.”
“But, the gates are electronically reinforced,” I stated.
“No, they aren’t, Steve,” my brother snapped. “The power is turned off.”
“Do you think the rioters are coming this way?” Lord Eberly asked.
“I surely hope not,” Taner responded. “If they are, I suggest we immediately leave.”
“How come you’ve got a signal on your tablet?” I demanded. “If the power is out all over the city?”
“I had a signal,” Rent replied, slapping the tablet down on the table. “But, now it’s gone. Do you guys think we should barricade the doors or something?”
“Aren’t we here to have a meeting? Who are we waiting for? Who called this meeting anyway?” I looked to Kinar.
“Petya, Duke of Korelesk.”
“What the fuck are we doing here because of him?” I spat. “He’s not part of the Privy Council.”
“Actually, he is,” Taner replied, “By virtue of Berkan. Your father set it up so that Korelesk and Turko would always have a seat here. Petya is entitled to call a meeting as much as anyone of us.”
“So we’re waiting for him?” Eberly asked.
“I’m not,” I said, getting up.
“Sit down, son,” Kinar ordered, while Rent sighed heavily, and looked annoyed.
“Do you always have to be such a drama queen, Steve?”
“Fuck you, Rent!” I nearly flew across the table to extract a few of my brother’s teeth, but Taner and Eberly grabbed my arms.
“No wonder your mother ran away,” Taner muttered, forcing me back into my chair. “Please Shika, Revak, sit quietly until Petya arrives. You and he were such good friends as children. I don’t understand where this animosity comes from.”
“Out of his asshole, that’s where the stink comes from,” I snapped. “And, I was going to go find my mother until you guys canceled the SpaceNavy’s operational funding. How in the hell am I supposed to go look for her? In my speeder?”
“We don’t have the budget, Steve!” my brother started to yell. “This whole planet is at stake. We can’t waste what little we have for you to go flit off to another galaxy and look for Mom.”
“Admit it, Rent. You never really loved her anyway. You still hold a grudge for being lost. You know she always loved me best, and you just can’t get over that.”
“No, I love her as much as you do, and I have no doubt that she loves me just as much too, maybe even more so than you. However, we have to consider that making a starship operational with a full crew will require a certain amount of expenditure. Frankly, the entire ship was in the middle of an overhaul when our funding ran out, so it’s not as simple as restarting the engines, and recalling everyone back from leave. In addition to the mechanical costs, we are looking at a crew of roughly five hundred.”
“Five hundred and twenty-three, Rent. I was in the SpaceNavy, unlike you.”
“Five hundred and twenty-three, Steve. I stand corrected, bowing to your dedicated term of service in the Imperial SpaceNavy from which you received a dishonorable discharge.”
“You fucking ass!” I practically jumped on the table again. Taner clamped his hand around my wrist in an attempt to lock me in my chair.
“Now,” Rent continued. “We all are aware that some of those positions are redundant, or simply there as relief crew, and can be eliminated in times of fiscal crises. That being said, even if we were to trim the crew to a very skinny four hundred and eighty, we’d still have overhead costs from SpaceNavy Command, health insurance, uniform allowance, food, entertainment, and other miscellaneous expenditures that would inflate the operational cost by nearly two hundred percent.”
“Who is this guy?” I turned to Taner. “Did we ever have him genetically tested? Are you absolutely certain he’s biologically related to me?”
“Oh, there’s no question he’s your father’s son,” Taner scoffed.
“Could we use unpaid interns instead?” Eberly suggested. “College students might be able to perform a lot of those tasks, and they’d be happy to have a few months of free food, and something to put as work experience on their resumés.”
Kinar and Garing nodded.
“That’s a very good idea,” one of them agreed.
“That’s insane!” I shouted.
“Might I offer another suggestion?” Taner interrupted.
“Offer away,” Kinar cried, rubbing his temples. “My only suggestion would be to send the ship with solely Shika and Revak aboard.”
Taner smiled politely. Garing and Eberly cleared their throats. Rent blinked rapidly, clueless as usual.
“I would like to suggest that we hire an old friend and colleague of mine who owns a freighter,” Taner offered. “He’s quite familiar with the outer galaxies, and comes very inexpensively. He also knows Madame personally from the Allied Spaceforce.”
“How inexpensive is inexpensive?” Rent asked.
“Bloody cheap. If the Treasury can’t afford it right now, I’ll loan the money from Turko. I dare say, Zork will be very pleased to take on this request.”
Everyone but me nodded and smiled.
“Good thinking, Taner,” Kinar said. “Next item.”
“Zork. Not him again,” I muttered, just as a pounding sounded outside.
The great doors swung open.
“The Duke of Korelesk,” the guard announced as Petya strode through, followed by a bunch of those Rossorians.
“What the hell is this about?” I moaned. “Who are they?”
“Good day,” Petya declared, striding all the way over to my dad’s chair and sitting down in it. His Rossorian minions spread out about the room, their arms crossed defiantly in front of their chests. “Thank you for attending this meeting. I’m so glad you all came as this will make it extremely easy for us to affect the transition.”
“What transition?” Kinar asked. “To who?”
“To me, of course.” Petya smiled in a way that made me want to punch out his lights. In fact, I decided that would be my next course of action. “I am assuming the Rehnorian throne as a full blooded descendent of the Blessed Saint, and the lawful Duke of Korelesk and Kildoo.”
“Sorry, Petya,” I said. “An imperial prince trumps a duke, and besides that, there’s two of us here.”
“Sorry, Shika,” Petya replied. “Being full blooded Mishnese trumps a half-human, quarter Mishnese, quarter-Karupta mongrel even if there are two of you.”
“Give me a break,” Rent moaned.
“No, right now, I’d rather break him.”
Jumping up, I swung for Petya’s mouth. I made contact, which actually, surprised me.
“Ow! Shika!” Petya shrieked, as I loosened his front teeth and inflated his lip. “Guards!”
The next thing I knew, I had about five of those dudes tackling me. They weren’t any competition as far as guards went. In fact, from what I could feel from my prone position on the floor, most of them were pretty soft and flabby.
However, they had guns, something none of us thought to bring. Of course, we had no idea that we were walking into a coup.
I, personally, was in pretty good shap
e and technically, was still a second degree black belt in mixed martial arts. This allowed me to toss a few of them aside, and bash in a head or two before I got flattened by a laser. While I lay there on the floor waiting for the feeling to come back into my appendages, I considered how unfair it was to be ambushed in my dad’s office.
If my dad had been here, he would have simply willed Petya to choke by mentally squeezing his esophagus shut. At the same time, he would have picked up the conference table and dropped it on the Rossorians, which would either have killed them, or scared them shitless. In any case, I was useless.
“Rent, help me!” I called.
“Do what?” the idiot responded.
“I don’t know. Pick up the table and drop it on Petya.”
“It’s too heavy, Steve.”
“Fool,” I muttered under my breath.
“You’re all under arrest,” Petya declared. “Cuff the Princes and take them to the dungeon. You don’t need to cuff Taner, as he’s about a hundred and forty years old.”
“I am not,” Taner roared. “Petya, you are a disgrace.”
“Okay, so cuff him. Kinar, Garing, and Eberly may stay if you choose to remain in my administration. If you decline my job offer, you can go with them.”
“Where?” Garing asked.
“To the dungeons.”
“Do we have dungeons?” Rent said.
“There were some ancient ones under building six,” Kinar replied. “But, since the structure collapsed, they are now open holes.”
“Alright, then confine them to the north tower,” Petya declared.
“Actually,” Kinar added. “That’s also rubble. In fact, the only building that is still standing is this one.”
“There’s got to be a secure room somewhere here then.” Petya pounded on the table. “Lock them in an office and guard it well.”
“The most secure room is the Imperial Suite,” Kinar suggested. “All the doors and windows have quadruple locks that were originally keyed to Madame’s bracelets.”
“Why?” Rent asked.
“Your father said it was for her safety.”
“Actually, they were into a bondage thing back then,” I interjected. “He used to make her wear gold handcuffs. Whatever else they did beyond that, trust me, you don’t want to know.”
