Anyway, that’s how I felt about Brazen.
Or, I should say, that’s how I used to feel about Brazen, until he kicked down that motherlovin’ door and cracked Cleary on the back of his head with the butt of his revolver.
We were in the middle of a buzz-cycle, but Kix quickly spun the knobs down.
“Temperance and her goons are going to try and hit the station,” I wheezed. “Somebody contact the chief and warn him.”
“I’ve already tried,” Reaper replied, sounding even worse than me. “The signal isn’t going through for some reason.”
“Mine won’t connect either,” Kix said.
Brazen shook his head also.
“Shit.”
Methkins rushed over to undo our bindings.
Who knew these three could be so effective when they really applied themselves?
“Thanks,” I groaned, falling face first onto the floor.
It was sad, but my face smacking the ground was the best thing I’d felt all day.
Reaper collapsed beside me a moment later.
“Get them healing potions, quick,” commanded Brazen, taking control of the situation. “Wait! Make sure that’s actually healing and not one of our concoctions.”
“How?” asked Kix.
“Give some to that fucker.”
I assumed “that fucker” was Cleary. My assumption proved correct when I heard Mr. Torturer say, “What happened?” a few seconds later. This was followed by, “Oh no…”
As Kix knelt down to pour some of the healing potion into my mouth, I saw Brazen dragging Cleary over to the magical electric chair that Reaper had been strapped to.
Cleary fought, but he was no match for a werebear, even one in human form.
Warmth filled my being and my head began to clear. Reaper’s eyes were picking up in intensity again as well. Neither of us was one hundred percent yet, but at least we were able to sit up now.
“You don’t understand,” Cleary was begging. “I was just doing my job.”
That was one excuse that pissed me off more than any other.
I chugged another bottle of healing potion and waited to feel wonderful again. It didn’t take long. We’d likely have to sleep for a few days to recover from all this potion, but for now the mixture of anger and adrenaline would keep us going.
“Please, just let me go…”
“Shut up, you piece of shit,” I hissed at him. “You should have died last time we left you for dead.” I blinked at my own words as everyone squinted at me. “Anyway, we’re not making that mistake twice.”
Then, I had an idea.
I walked over to him and yanked his pants down. It was easy since they were the kind that just had an elastic band.
“What are you doing?” he said with a face of horror.
“Don’t worry, idiot,” I replied tersely. “I’m not going to take advantage of you.” Then I glanced down at his little pal. “Dainty. Are all fae hung like crickets or is it just you?”
“Uh…”
“Honestly, it looks like a frightened turtle.” I then glanced at Reaper. “That wasn’t intended as a slight against Agnes, I assure you.”
I’m pretty sure my partner rolled his eyes. It was difficult to tell in this lighting, especially with his high beams on.
“Okay,” I announced, “now I just need a knife and some pickle juice.”
“What?” asked a terrified Cleary.
I turned to grin at my crew but then remembered they were all men. The looks on their faces all screamed “NOT COOL!”
I sighed.
“Never mind,” I said while turning to Kix. “Just give him some of that fun potion.”
“I’m not going near a naked dude,” Kix said as he threw me a bottle. “You’re the one who pulled his pants down.”
I shrugged and cracked open the bottle.
“No, no, no…please!”
“Would you rather I find that knife and pickle juice?” I asked with a tilt of my head. He whimpered. “It’s not fun being on the other side of the torture, is it, asshole?”
He was visibly shaking.
“All right, all right,” I said, closing up the bottle with a grunt. “I won’t make you drink the potion.” I shook my head at him and yanked his pants back up. “Honestly, you’re such a pussy.”
Cleary sighed in relief.
“Reaper,” I said over my shoulder, “I believe you know what to do.”
And he did.
The room nearly went dark when my partner spun the dial that unleashed energetic happiness. Cleary screamed so hard that I thought he would blow out his vocal chords.
Reaper shut it back off after a few seconds.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” I chided the sobbing man. “Too bad we can’t hang around for more fun, though. We have to kill your boss and such.”
“Please…I’ll do anything…”
“I know,” I said, whipping out my gun and pointing it at him. “Unfortunately, we can’t risk you surviving again.”
“No, please!”
“Don’t take it personally, dickhead,” I said with a cold stare. “I’m just doing my job.”
Two Death Nails later, Mr. Cleary was no more.
Chapter 25
We walked back out into the corridor, prepared for anything. I was happily prepared take a bullet over being subjected to any further torture. I was done with that shit.
The place appeared to be empty, which kind of sucked because it meant we couldn’t use anyone to help us get out of this joint.
“I guess I should have asked Cleary how to get out of here, huh?”
“We already know,” Brazen said, taking point.
He took off at a rate that a werebear shouldn’t be able to move. Honestly, one look at the guy and you’d think he lived on donuts and pizza. To be fair, a dozen donuts sounded pretty damn good right about then. I didn’t dare mention that, though, since it’d probably start Methkins off on a rant about wanting hotdogs. Damn it…hotdogs did sound good.
We cut a corner and saw a stream of fae heading up a flight of stairs. I didn’t recall seeing that exit when we arrived here. Obviously, there was more magic involved.
Fucking Keller.
One fae spotted us and pointed.
I didn’t even hesitate this time, and neither did Kix and Brazen. We had our guns out in a flash, Death Nails flying everywhere. Even Reaper was in on the act, running his fingers over his tattoo and launching fireballs.
It was great…unless you were a fae.
They tried to retaliate, but we’d hit them too fast.
But that’s when an explosion rocked us all, throwing everyone toward the far wall, next to the obelisk.
The tunnel we’d just exited caved in.
“That’d be my spell launching off,” Methkins groaned. “Shit, man.”
On the plus side, the fae were busily crushing each other in a mad attempt to get out. They’d all but forgotten about us.
“Is that it for the explosions?” asked Kix as he rubbed his head. “That seemed kind of tame for all the stuff that was in that room.”
“That was tame?” I asked.
“Two more coming, dude,” Methkins replied.
“We’ll never survive two more of those,” Kix grunted.
“Neither will they,” Brazen pointed out while motioning to the mass of crazed fae. “Besides, we have to die sometime.”
“Fuck that,” I said, standing up and entering the original code into the obelisk the guards had used when transporting Methkins. It was either going to take us to the dimensional box or we’d end up back in Faeland. It didn’t matter to me. We could figure out the next steps from there. Sadly, the damn thing didn’t work. “Shit.”
“What’s the matter?” asked Reaper.
“It’s not working.”
“Makes sense,” noted Brazen. “If that was working, why would they bother with the stairs?”
“Let me see it,” Methkins said, pushing me ou
t of the way.
I stood back as he frantically drew symbols all around the obelisk. I’d never seen a wizard work so fast. Maybe shock therapy really did help this guy?
The second explosion hit.
It was worse than the first, but we only felt the shockwave of it. The fae were the ones who took the brunt of the falling rock.
Not pretty.
“We’ve only got about a minute before the last one goes off,” Methkins said, not adding “dude” or “man” to his statement. “Get ready with that code, dude.”
Ah, there it was.
After a few more flicks of his hand, the obelisk began to glow.
“Now!”
I tapped in the code and a window opened.
One by one, we all jumped through, ending up in Faeland an instant before the ground shook something fierce and the window closed.
The third explosion had finished the job.
Chapter 26
The only thing I wanted to do at that moment was lie down on the grass and sleep. Yes, I was physically healed, but my brain was still freaking out over what I’d just been through. Besides, potions were notorious for tiring you out.
“Stay where you are,” a stern voice said from behind us.
I shot a glance over my shoulder and saw that we were standing in front of about twenty fae.
None of them appeared to be armed.
“Or what?” I asked as I turned around with the rest of my crew. “Are you going to give us all fresh hairdos and makeovers?”
The guy who had warned us not to move furrowed his brow at my comment.
“What?”
“Well, it’s not like you have any weapons,” I pointed out. Then I held up my gun. “Oh, and we do. So, seeing that your culture is one that focuses primarily on beauty, I figured that hair styling and makeup application would be your superpower.” I sniffed. “I thought you were tricksters, but so far I’m not seeing it.”
The guy put his hand on his hip and glared.
“Do you have any idea how racist that is?”
I shrugged. “It’s only racist if I claim it to be a negative thing. I mean, let’s be honest, your community is gorgeous, right? Would you rather I called you a bunch of tricksters?”
“I suppose that’s true,” he replied, pursing his lips as the others with him nodded. “Still, the way you said it made it very clear that you meant it in a derogatory fashion.”
Okay, fair enough. I did. But I only did that because I was trying to throw them off their game.
It was clearly working.
“I apologize, then,” I said with a slight bow before pointing my gun at him. “Now, get your hands up or I’ll shoot you.”
He smiled.
Why did he smile?
“Any idea why he’s smiling?” I said out of the corner of my mouth. “I don’t like that he’s smiling.”
“No clue,” replied Brazen. “It is kind of freaky, though.”
“Yep,” agreed Kix. “Freaky.”
Right when I was about to question Mr. Pretty regarding his sudden demeanor change, a mass of weapons appeared out of nowhere. Every one of the fae was holding a menacing piece of arsenal.
“Fucking tricksters!” I yelled as I dived toward the nearest tree.
The place was lit up with ammunition. It was cutting into the tree I was hiding behind, causing me to kick my feet around in the dirt while covering my ears.
Reaper had grabbed Methkins and dived behind a large rock. Brazen and Kix were crawling as fast as they could to find cover as well.
“Damn it,” I hissed to myself as I reached out and started firing Death Nails in the general direction of the fae mob. “Eat Nails, fuckers!”
“Reap,” I said through the connector, “stun them or fireball them or whatever the hell you can do!”
“Already on it,” he said as a blast of energy flew from his fingers.
Multiple shrieks and grunts sounded from the direction of the fae. That gave me time to roll out and start firing again. Brazen and Kix were also clicking off round after round.
It didn’t take long before the field had been cleared.
“Son of a bitch.” I panted as I stood up and stomped on the ground. “Those bastards really are tricksters.”
“I could’ve told you that,” Brazen said as he walked over. “This isn’t topside, Piper. You’re in the Netherworld, remember? You may be queen of the Retrievers, but this ain’t your station. Kix and I have been walking this beat for years.” He nodded at Kix. “We’ll bow to you topside without question, but if you want to get through this alive, you might want to listen to us.”
I wanted to argue the point with him, but he was right. Still, a cop was a cop, right? And didn’t Reaper and I originally save their sorry asses from being tortured to death? If they were so great at the run-and-gun game down here, how come it took two topside Retrievers to break them out?
Regardless, they did know the Netherworld better than us.
“Fair enough,” I said with a lot of effort, “you guys take point, but don’t treat us like a couple of rookies or I’ll—”
“Slice my nuts open and dip them in pickle juice?” Brazen finished for me. “I know.”
With that, he turned and started walking.
“Do I say that a lot or something?” I asked Reaper via direct connection. “I don’t think I say that a lot.”
“I believe it’s more the spirit of the thing, Piper,” he replied, grinning. “You often threaten to destroy testicles in interesting ways.”
“So? Take away someone’s favorite toy and they start to cooperate. Basic psychology.”
He gave me a funny look.
“I contacted the chief,” announced Kix. “It seems that the cops who arrived at the front gate were attacked and suffered quite a few casualties.”
“That means they’ll be hitting the precinct soon,” I cursed.
“They’re already there,” Kix replied.
We broke into a run.
Chapter 27
Our weapons were drawn when we hit the front gates, but there was no way we were going to make it through the mass of fae standing there. Fortunately, they were all facing away from us, looking out at the city.
“Let me handle this,” said Brazen, holding out his hand to slow us down.
He continued until he was close enough to yell out at them.
“All right,” he called out, causing the group of fae to turn and look at him, “we’re from the Paranormal Police Department and we’re on official business. We need to exit Faeland now and we expect your full cooperation. Failure to cooperate will result in…”
Brazen trailed off as the fae moved to either side of the gate.
By the time we reached Brazen’s spot, there was a wide expanse for us to walk out to freedom.
“Holy shit, Moses,” I said, checking to see if Brazen was holding up a staff. “How’d you manage that?”
“I don’t have a fucking clue,” he mumbled, frowning.
It didn’t matter anyway. They were letting us go, so we high-tailed it out of there.
Almost.
Just as we were passing through the exit, a gorgeous man stepped in our way. He had his hands up at shoulder height, showing that he meant us no harm. But I kept my gun ready, just in case.
“My name is Minos Pellan,” he said. “I am the leader of the peace movement in this community, as well as a second-level Chancellor on the general circuit.”
“Okay?” I said, squinting at him. “What’s up, Minos?”
“Temperance has acted beyond the will of the people in our area. We do not support what she is doing.”
“What exactly is she doing?” asked Reaper.
Minos took a deep breath. “Her mind has been tainted by an evil mage. He subjected most of the council, in fact, but some of us held steadfast and were imprisoned.” He looked over the crowd. “I’m only here because these fine people freed me and the others.”
“Ye
ah,” I said, glancing past the gate. “Well, it seems like Keller double-crossed Temperance, but she’s already tasted power. She’s attacking the PPD precinct right now, in fact.”
“We know.”
I gave him a look. “Swell.”
“How may we be of assistance?”
“Uh…” I stammered. “I…uh…we could use a car.”
“And some hotdogs,” said Methkins.
We all turned and stared at him for a second. Then I shrugged my shoulders.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Some hotdogs would be cool, too.”
Unfortunately, there were no hotdogs available, but we jumped into the car that pulled up a minute later and sped back toward the precinct.
The city center was still in tatters, but Kix was taking side streets to avoid congestion. It was a good thing he was driving. I didn’t know these streets as well as he did. If I had been behind the wheel, we’d be sitting in gridlock.
“Don’t get too close,” I warned as we started getting near the station. “We’re already going to be facing down more fae than we can probably handle. My hope is that we’ll be able to position ourselves and take them out from hiding spots. That’ll make them panic.”
Reaper looked at me thoughtfully. “Guerrilla warfare?”
I nodded.
“Chief,” I connected, making sure everyone in the car was linked into the conversation, “we’re here. How are you holding up?”
“They haven’t gotten through yet, but it’s getting close,” he replied. “Pecker has put up the standard field and he has someone helping him to keep the locks on something called a ‘running configuration.’ I don’t know what in blazes he’s talking about, though.”
“It just means that the lock system is constantly changing access codes,” Pecker chimed in, obviously picking up on the call. My guess was that the chief had added him. “Agnes is handling that, actually.”
Reaper smiled for a moment, and then his face went stone cold. Clearly, he’d just realized that his beloved turtle would have been safer at home.
“Hang in there, guys,” I said. “We’re going to start picking them off from out here. We’ll keep to the shadows and stir panic, if we can.”
Deathly Temperance: A Piper & Payne Supernatural Thriller (Netherworld Paranormal Police Department Book 3) Page 9
