by Tim Miller
“Oh yes you can!” a voice said behind them.
April spun around with the tomahawk but froze when she saw Stacy’s face with her hollow eyes staring back at her. It was a clown, wearing a mask that looked like Stacy, but it wasn’t a mask. It was her face.
Chapter 23
Uncle Monkey knew something wasn’t right. He couldn’t explain it, but the Funhouse was telling him so. As he headed back to the control room, he tried to shake the feeling. Once he reached the control center, he scanned the monitors. After a few different screens he saw him.
“Son of a bitch. Dirty Rusty,” he mumbled. The old clown was just like Uncle Monkey had remembered. He had no idea how Rusty could have gotten out of the locker. No one ever escaped there before. They were basically in suspended animation. He remembered tricking Rusty into violating the Funhouse rules before putting him into the locker. No doubt Rusty wouldn’t be too happy.
Rusty was in one of the play rooms cutting some girl up, one of the travelers most likely. How did he get out of the locker? As he looked around, Uncle Monkey saw that while he was messing around with Captain Cowpoke, the entire Funhouse was coming apart. One screen showed Crazy Koko’s mangled body lying on the ground. In another screen, he saw a large pack of clowns walking through a corridor toward the main floor.
“Jesus Christ!” Uncle Monkey said as he ran out of the control room. He weaved his way through the hallways as fast as he could until he reached the playroom. The door swung open as he ran inside. Dirty Rusty was standing over the table which was completely covered in blood. Rusty had blood all over his clown suit as well. The girl’s face has been cut off, along with her arms at the elbows and her legs at the knees. He used a blowtorch which they kept in the playroom among other tools to cauterize her wounds. Now she was just a naked, bloody stump lying on the table.
The girl was sobbing and whimpering as Rusty looked up at him as he came in. A stack of severed limbs was at Rusty’s feet.
“Well! Hello old friend!” Rusty said.
“What the hell? How did you get out? Do you know what you’ve done?”
“I’m quite aware of what is happening. Your little reign over this Funhouse is coming to an end. Oh and you should really work on your security here. One of the townspeople just waltzed right in and let me out.”
“The hell it is,” Uncle Monkey said as he looked around the room and at the table. “Jesus, you made a fucking mess in here!”
“Maybe a little. She’s still alive if you want to take a whack at her. Haha! Get it?” Rusty said holding up the large knife. “Whack? Get it?”
“Yes I get it. I think you were frozen too long.”
“Oh, I feel well rested. Which is good, things are about to get crazy.” Rusty took the knife and made a single swipe along the girl’s throat. She gagged and wheezed as blood sprayed onto the floor. After a minute or so she had stopped moving.
No sooner did he finish the girl when the door burst open once again. This time, several clowns came through the door and grabbed Uncle Monkey, dragging him into the hall. He struggled and kicked as each of them grabbed his arms and legs, several punched and kicked him. He fell to the ground feeling helpless as they picked him up off the ground.
* * * *
“Oh look! The party is about to get started!” Rusty said.
“You can’t do this! I run this place! Where’s Creampuff? Creampuff!”
“He’s off wandering around somewhere. So looks like you’re on your own for this one. Let’s go boys!” Rusty shouted. The pack of clowns were laughing and cackling randomly as they dragged Uncle Monkey down the hall. They carried him on their shoulders, by his arms and legs as Dirty Rusty marched out in front of them. They wove their way through the corridors and headed outside.
“What the hell are you doing?” Uncle Monkey asked.
“I don’t want to make too big a mess in my Funhouse,” Rusty said.
They carried Uncle Monkey to one of the light posts in the parking lot. The lights hadn’t worked in ages, but the poles were still there. Several clowns tied him to the post with a combination of wires and cables and whatever else they had found lying around.
“You are dead Rusty! You hear me? You’re fucking dead! Forget about the locker. I’ll put your head on a fucking spike!” Uncle Monkey screamed.
“I highly doubt that.” Rusty said. “Though you’re welcome to try.”
Rusty was enjoying watching his former protégé struggle for his life. He knew Uncle Monkey was more frightened than he was letting on. Another clown came running up to them carrying a large gas can. The clown began pouring gasoline all over Uncle Monkey.
“Gasoline? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re gonna burn me alive?” Uncle Monkey said.
“Well we’ll burn you until you’re dead,” Rusty said. He looked up at the sky as the sun was creeping up over the horizon. It had been so long since he’d seen the sun, or much of anything for that matter. There would be time to reflect on that later.
The clown discarded the gas can as the gasoline smell stung Rusty’s nose. Another clown stepped forward with a book of matches, lit it and tossed it onto Uncle Monkey. He was immediately engulfed in flames as the fire covered him from head to toe. Rusty stepped back watching as he took in the smell of burning flesh and another strange smell. Rubber maybe? He’d never seen a clown burn before.
Uncle Monkey was still screaming when one of the clowns called out.
“Hey boss! Look!” He pointed to the edge of the parking lot. Rusty looked to see several pickup trucks pulling in to the funhouse. “They bringing more outsiders?” The clown asked.
Rusty saw people in the beds of the trucks, mostly men but there were a few women. All of them had guns. Rifles, shotguns and even handguns. They were all headed toward the Funhouse. They must think the clowns had done something with their local who came in on his own. Where did that guy go anyway? Either way, looks like the townspeople finally grew some balls.
Chapter 24
April wanted to charge at the clown, but seeing Stacy’s lifeless face made her hesitate. Her best friend, the girl who had been like a sister to her for so long, was now gone. This asshole was wearing her actual skin on his face like it was a gag or a costume. He came stumbling into the room, laughing from behind the mask. She looked over at Coy who looked absolutely horrified.
“What’s wrong? I thought you’d want to play! Woohoo! Let’s have a masquerade! I’m wearing your friend. Maybe you two can switch faces!”
The children in the cages began crying and screaming as the clown got further into the room. She ran at the clown with the tomahawk and took a swing. He ducked and put his arm out. The tomahawk connected, hacking it clean off. Green sludge squirted from the stump as the clown just laughed.
“Wow, can someone give me a hand? Hahaha!” he said. “Haha! A hand, get it?” His severed hand flopped around on the floor like a dying fish out of water.
She wanted to chop his face, but couldn’t bring herself to do it while he had Stacy’s skin on his head. He ran toward her, swinging his oozing stump, hurling whatever the sludge was onto her hair and face. She ducked and lunged at his legs, hacking at his knee. The tomahawk planted in his kneecap and stuck there as the clown tumbled to the floor. She dislodged it and chopped at his other leg.
Lying on his stomach, she stood over him and pulled Stacy’s face off his head. He looked up at her, his eyes widening as reality finally set in that she wasn’t playing and he was about to go back to sleep for good. April brought the tomahawk down in between his eyes, splitting his rubbery head open like a melon. Green sludge oozed out along with other gray chunks she assumed was his brain. Not wanting to stand around and study clown anatomy, she turned to Coy.
“Get those kids out of there. Help me,” she said as she began unlatching the cages, helping the kids out. Some had trouble walking, as they had been bunched up for who knows how long. Most of them got their footing once they were out and steadied themselves.
Each of them picked up some of the younger ones and carried them.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” she said. They went out into the hall and to the left. Checking several rooms, they found a stairwell that went up. They got to the next floor where it was quiet. She looked around the empty hall.
“Where are all the clowns?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Want me to call for ‘em?” Coy said.
“No, it’s just weird. They been all over the place. Now there is no sign of them.”
“Maybe they found that Monkey guy and killed him or something.”
“Maybe. Let’s go.”
As they walked further, there was an intersecting hallway just ahead. There were loud footsteps coming from the other direction. April stopped and sat the little boy down she was carrying and readied the tomahawk. After waiting several minutes, a clown came running around the corner, stopped and looked at them. He looked as surprised as they were. He also looked strangely familiar.
“Todd?” April said.
The clown folded his hands in front of his body and hung his head.
“I’m afraid Todd is no longer with us,” he said. “He is now...” He put his arms out to his side as he leaped. “Captain Cowpoke! Woohoo!”
He still looked somewhat like himself, other than the frizzy half head of hair, white skin, and fucked up smile. Imagine Ronald McDonald after a few years on crystal meth. That’s what Captain Cowpoke looked like.
“Captain Cowpoke? And why are you a clown? I thought they killed you,” April said.
“Nope! They liked me so much they made me one of them! Hahaha! Isn’t that great?”
“They killed your fucking girlfriend you ass. They fucking gutted her like a pig. They killed Stacy too, fucking butchered her! You think that’s great?”
“Well, that is unfortunate. But think of this place as like a cocoon. We all entered as slimly little larvae, but at least one of us...me, came out as a beautiful butterfly!” He was flapping his arms out at his sides and bouncing up and down on his toes.
April glared at him for a moment.
“Uh yeah. You have to die,” she said as she reared back with the tomahawk. Todd or Captain Cowpoke squealed as he saw the threat and he turned and ran. She sprinted behind him trying to keep up, but he was around another corner and out of sight well ahead of her. She couldn’t figure out how they moved so fast, or how Todd was now one of these clowns, but it didn’t matter. She went back and picked up the little boy and nodded to Coy.
“Ok, let’s go,” she said as they headed back through the hall. After wandering around for quite a while, they found themselves in the front lobby of the Funhouse where April had first come in. As they headed for the door, there were gunshots and explosions coming from outside.
“What’s all that noise?” Coy asked.
“Fuck, I don’t think I want to know,” she said as she sat the child down and cracked the door open, peeking outside. There she saw the huge pack of clowns from earlier in what amounted to a brawl with the townspeople. Many of the townsfolk had guns and were shooting at the clowns, who outnumbered them. Some were being tackled and ripped to pieces. Of course, the clowns were all laughing.
“So what’s going on?” Coy asked.
“Looks like your people finally decided to do something about this place. It isn’t pretty though.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
April peeked back outside and looked at Coy.
“I’m going to kill them all.”
Chapter 25
Old Man Gunn sat in his pickup truck as the other pickups lined up behind him. It wasn’t hard to get people willing to go attack the Funhouse. Seems people had been itchin’ for an excuse to go after those clowns for years. Between fear and tradition, no one wanted to be the first one to step up. After several generations, this was all the people of Happytown knew. They didn’t always like it, but they feared angering the clowns in the mysterious Funhouse. At some point, no one was sure what was true and what was folklore about the place. Either way, once the decision was made, they were ready to go.
All the men in the town were armed and ready to go. Some of the women joined in as well as several teenagers. All were carrying rifles or shotguns. A few had more heavy duty stuff like AK-47s or AR-15s. Reggie Jenkins had a belt fed M249 SAW. Gunn didn’t even want to know how he got that thing. There were seven or eight people in the bed of Gunn’s truck looking like they were headed out for a deer hunt. Kyle was fully armed and walking up and down the rows of trucks checking on everybody.
He walked up to Old Man Gunn, who rolled the window down.
“You sure you want to do this?” Kyle asked.
“Sure as I am about anything. Figure I’d rather be dead than let them take one of our boys away from us. Besides, they been runnin’ this town for way too long. It’s time we stopped being their doormats,” Gunn said.
“I agree. It might get ugly.
“They only have a few clowns. How hard you think it will be?”
“I don’t know. We’ve never seen the inside of that place or what they are capable of,” Kyle said.
“Well hopefully we’ll get it done quick and get Coy out of there. Then burn the place to the ground.”
“Works for me.” Kyle stepped away and waved his finger over his head in a circular motion. He jumped into the passenger seat as everyone hollered and yelled as the pickup trucks all pulled out. The drive to the Funhouse was only a few minutes. Though Gunn saw the bonfire way ahead of time.
“What in the hell are they doin’?” Gunn asked.
“Looks like a bonfire. Do clowns do bonfires?” Kyle said.
“I guess these do. Oh shit,” Gunn said as they got closer and saw there weren’t just a few clowns, but at least a hundred, maybe more.
“Oh my God,” Kyle said.
“Should we call it off?” Gunn asked, but before Kyle could answer, one of the men in the bed of Gunn’s truck opened fire. The others opened fire as the clowns, who were standing around a light pole which was on fire, all turned and charged them.
“Well, too late now,” Gunn said as he put the truck in Park, grabbed his shotgun off the rack and jumped out.
He’d seen plenty of clowns in his life, but never the ones from the Funhouse, at least not close up. These clowns were the most horrifying things he’d ever seen. If these guys showed up at a kid’s birthday party, they were sure to scare everyone off. Hell, the kids would all need therapy later. All of their smiles were way, way too big and slightly twisted, with wiry hair and crazy eyes. There were all different variations, but all of them were freaky as hell.
Once they were in range, Gunn fired the shotgun into the pack. He hit one of them dead center, but the clown kept coming at him after stumbling. He fired another shot but that had no effect either. Taking a second, he watched the others shooting the clowns. Most of the shots were hitting their bodies, but having no effect. Some hit clowns in the head, but only a few of those did anything and that was only if they managed to blow most of their heads off.
“Jesus, these things aren’t human. Not human at all!” Gunn said as he began to backpedal. Either no one else noticed or cared that the clowns weren’t dying. The clowns were walking toward them but began running, picking up speed as they got closer. The look of hate and rage on their faces was the stuff of nightmares. He wanted to turn and run, but there was nowhere to go. They continued to advance until they were right on top of the townspeople.
Old Man Gunn spun the shotgun around holding it by the barrel and began swinging it like a baseball bat. He hit one clown right in the face, caving his face in. Some of the clowns had huge, sharp teeth and were tearing into people. People were screaming as some tried to run away. The clowns were incredibly fast, running people down and tearing them to pieces either with their teeth, or just ripping them limb from limb. There was one clown cutting the organs out of somebody as if he were playing a game of Operation.
He took a
nother swing, but before he could come around, one large clown had grabbed the butt of the shotgun and leaned close to Gunn’s face. The clown’s eyes were huge and yellow. His face stretched into a demented grin with a tiny top hat stuck to the top of his head. When he smiled, the clown revealed a mouthful of razor sharp teeth.
“Sorry old man! I believe your time has expired! Hahaha!” the clown said as he grabbed Old Man Gunn’s head. Gunn fought against the clown’s grip as the clown began twisting his neck. The clown quickly twisted Gunn’s head to the left, as everything went black. His last thought before he died was that at least he was going out quickly.
What Old Man Gunn didn’t live to see was the clown holding his head into the air as if it were a trophy before tossing it aside. Gunn’s body fell to the ground to be trampled under the feet of the killer mob.
Chapter 26
“Where’s your truck?” April asked.
“It’s over on the side of the building,” Coy said.
“Let’s go.” They took the kids and ran to the side of the building where Coy’s old pickup sat. She helped the kids into the back of the truck. As she lifted the first one into the bed, there was a chainsaw sitting there.
“You have a chainsaw?”
“Yeah. I was helping Old Man Gunn clear up some brush off his property,” Coy said.
“Well shit.” April picked up the chainsaw and sat it next to the truck as finished loading the kids. She put the two toddlers into the cab and turned to Coy.
“Where you gonna sit?” Coy asked.
“I’m not. Take these kids into town, to somewhere safe. Someone that isn’t gonna feed them to some fucked up clowns or something. Can you do that?”
“Yeah. I think Mrs. Reynolds could keep an eye on ‘em.”
“Good, do that and come back here to pick me up.”
“What are you gonna do?”
April picked up the chainsaw and pulled the cord, the chainsaw roared to life.
“I’m gonna fuck shit up,” she said.
